0910AW 同主题写作第十四期 ISSUE103 by 灵感女孩

灵感女孩UID: 2224424

103. "The study of history has value only to the extent that it is relevant to our daily lives."

Asserting that the study of history is valuable only when it is relevant to our daily lives underrates the value of history when it contributes to aspects such as politics, national defense, advanced technologies that might not be useful today but significant in the future. History, a mirror of past human lives, provides us much more.

When we talk about history, most people would think of the vicissitude of nations, and how political leaders put into much effort in establishing and enforcing their powers. Indeed, studying history will guide political leaders to avoid making mistakes their precedents had already committed, and learn the essence of governance. The father of America, first president of the United States, George Washington, suppresse all attemps by his officers'persuasion to establish a military dictatorship or be crowned king. After two terms of presidency, he stepped dow and refused to be reelected given his reputation. If Washington had not have learnt from failures of military totalitarians and tyrannies in countries in Africa and Latin America, he would not have been successful in enforcing the democratic system for the new America.

The study of history is not only of great value to political leaders, but also crucial to areas such as national defense, far from our daily life. Just this month, India announced that it just finished building the country's first self-designed nuclear powered submarine and the submarine will be in operation in 2011. It is then crucial for the Indian Navy to learn from previous accidents of nuclear powered submarines such as the explosion of the Russian Kursk in 2000,  which decimated 118 sailors and officers, or the collision of French and English submarines just last year. Only by learning from past mistakes can the Indian Navy find a way to avoid such tragedies happening on themselves.

Aside from politics and national defense, the study of history of the sciences will enable human beings to explorenew ways of treating diseases or finding new homes for the increasing population. A study of the history of AIDS pathogen will not necessarily improve the daily life researchers, but its potential significance for the future generation of a better way to treat AIDS is not neglectable. Another example can be found as the NASA, by analyzing and retrospecting history of humans first experience on the moon in 1969, is trying to make another attempt to explore this familiar yet still mysterious planet. This project is not closely related to our daily life now, but might be extremely useful in searching another home for future generations.

However, we also cannot ignore the importance studying history contributes us to our daily lives. A thorough study of the case of SARS, which took lives of many in 2003, can help medical institutes and center for disease control and prevention in the whole  world today to quench the spread of H1N1 virus. Economically, studying cases of the financial crises in the 1980s in Latin America and the 1997 Asian Crisis can help economists today better assess the current situation and help us to extricate from this predicament.

To sum up, indeed, the study of history is valuable if it is relavant to our quanrine life, yet it is not only to this extant that it is valuable. By learning from the past experiences of our ancestors, politicians, military officers, scientific researchers, and many others can benefit from the study to better contribute to a variety of areas, far beyond our daily lives, and well to the future.

谢谢！有拍必回！

nohevenUID: 2447539

103. "The study of history has value only to the extent that it is relevant to our daily lives."

Asserting that the study of history is valuable only when it isrelevant to our daily lives underrates the value of history when itcontributes to aspects such as politics, national defense, advancedtechnologies that might not be useful today but significant in thefuture. (这句和下一句的联结感觉比较跳脱)History, a mirror of past human lives, provides us much more.

When we talk about history, most people would think of the vicissitudeof nations, and how political leaders put into（去掉into） much effort inestablishing and enforcing their powers. Indeed, studying history willguide political leaders to avoid making mistakes their precedents hadalready committed, and learn the essence of governance. The father ofAmerica, first president of the United States, George Washington,suppresse all attemps by his officers'persuasion to establish amilitary dictatorship or be crowned king. After two terms ofpresidency, he stepped dow and refused to be reelected given hisreputation. If Washington had not have learnt from failures of militarytotalitarians and tyrannies in countries in Africa and Latin America,he would not have been successful in enforcing the democratic systemfor the new America.(其实我个人感觉这个例子不是很有说服力，因为很多精心研读了历史的领袖也难逃权力的诱惑啊～=。=；如果作者对这个例子有偏爱或者深入的理解，都应该在文章中进一步论证出来才好)

The study of history is not only of great value to political leaders,but also crucial to areas such as national defense, far from our dailylife. Just this month, India announced that it just finished buildingthe country's first self-designed nuclear powered submarine and thesubmarine will be in operation in 2011. It is then crucial for theIndian Navy to learn from previous accidents of nuclear poweredsubmarines such as the explosion of the Russian Kursk in 2000,  whichdecimated 118 sailors and officers, or the collision of French andEnglish submarines just last year. Only by learning from past mistakescan the Indian Navy find a way to avoid such tragedies happening onthemselves.（先赞一下例子的新鲜度，但问题还是在联系上：不是说加一个if或者only by就可以说明历史的作用的）

Aside from politics and national defense, the study of history of thesciences will enable human beings to explorenew ways of treatingdiseases or finding new homes for the increasing population. A study ofthe history of AIDS pathogen will not necessarily improve the dailylife researchers, but its potential significance for the futuregeneration of a better way to treat AIDS is not neglectable. Anotherexample can be found as the NASA, by analyzing and retrospectinghistory of humans first experience on the moon in 1969, is trying tomake another attempt to explore this familiar yet still mysteriousplanet. This project is not closely related to our daily life now, butmight be extremely useful in searching another home for futuregenerations.

However, we also cannot ignore the importance studying historycontributes us to our daily lives. A thorough study of the case ofSARS, which took lives of many in 2003, can help medical institutes andcenter for disease control and prevention in the whole  world today toquench the spread of H1N1 virus.（这个例子就有具体的论证和联系了） Economically, studying cases of thefinancial crises in the 1980s in Latin America and the 1997 AsianCrisis can help economics today better assess the current situation andhelp us to extricate from this predicament.

To sum up, indeed, the study of history is valuable if it is relavantto our quanrine life, yet it is not only to this extant that it isvaluable. By learning from the past experiences of our ancestors,politicians, military officers, scientific researchers, and many otherscan benefit from the study to better contribute to a variety of areas,far beyond our daily lives, and well to the future.

文章结构完整，但是论点有点混乱。看得出作者走的是分类论证的例子，但这个分类似乎有些偏颇，不够有代表性。
例子多而鲜，但与论点的联结还比较表面化。需要进一步的分析，或者重新选择更合适的例子。

灵感女孩UID: 2224424

2# noheven

多谢指点~其实我分类选例子的时候也特别纠结 Washington那个是从作文大讲堂上来的 后面几个自己想的 因为daily life每个人的界定不同 我就选了一些普通老百姓一般触及不到的方面进行论述 楼上有没有好的建议 从哪几方面进行论述呢？

nohevenUID: 2447539

3# 灵感女孩
我觉得分类还是要有一定的覆盖度吧 比如人文，社科，科技。
或者专注其中的一方面，但深入进行进一步的分类。
虽然是不全面归纳，但说服力要强些。
天使斑竹也在帖子里说过类似的分析法。