Issue208 无小组人士求拍 不知有无离题

ErokoUID: 2659745

ISSUE208 - "The way people look, dress, and act reveals their attitudes and interests. You can tell much about a society's ideas and values by observing the appearance and behavior of its people."

Knowing a society from behavior

Reading a society, appearance of its people is the cover; it's quite difficult to resist the temptation to get the general impression from the first glance. However, such impression is too vague, and it can be meaningless. On contrary, behavior can provide us more information.
The dressing and appearance do provide us some information in specific conditions. Once we find people in a country share great similarity in dressing, just like the traditional clothes in India, we can conclude the traditions take the majority in such a society. Moreover, the muffled face of women in Middle East also tells us the woman status in such Islamic society. Moreover, the simple dressing of a developing country woman can tell a totally different concept of consuming from a woman with LV from an affluent one. In these typical situations, the conclusion seems to be reasonable and sound, since the social concept exerts the primary influence.
However, considering more situations, the appearance can't offer too much information, since under the influence of the internationalizing trend, people from different countries can share similar taste in clothing, which diminished the variety of dressing in various ethnics. In some exchange program between universities from different country, it's likely to see students in China and United Kingdom dressing in a similar way, while the cultural confliction can hardly be ignored. Such phenomenon can also be detected on international conferences, where most participants from different areas keep a formal appearance in suits and their individual way of thinking. Simultaneously, most countries in the world have little interferences onto their people, in addition of the high efficiency of information transmitting, most people in the world now dress with their own modern interest.
On the other hand, it seems that behavior is more stable in representing the social minds, regardless of the outside impact. Here is also typical example. Even the dressing way mostly internationalized, the behavior, to some extent, managed to remain original, since it's more firmly rooted. While there is little difficulty for Islam to accept one dressing in shirts and jeans, hugging a woman as greeting can still receive a judgment of affront. And it’s not rare that girls from traditional countries, who prefer a modern dressing, still keep a wary mind about sexual behaviors. Both situations in traditional countries illustrate that even dressing is already compromised, behavior still keep its faith to the social idea.
Moreover, behavior does contain a great amount of information about the society. Comparing to Western persons, Eastern ones tends to keep minimal body contact at their greetings, which reveals a relatively more introversive way of socializing. Were more relatives convened in festival days, people with such custom tend to put family at a higher priority. From both personal and social behavior the idea of the society can be identified, and more detailed information can be dug out. Again, when searching information from the people’s dressing in Islamic country, we can only tradition concept takes the major position in the society. Further, from their behavior, we can get more information of their concepts about marriage, about religion, and about ideology. It is behavior that giving us an embodied comprehension of a society.
Concluded from above, appearance of people in a society can provide some information in some typical situations, but fails in more, while behavior of its individuals can provide more detailed information, regardless of the outside impact. When appearance fails to provide enough information, behavior is a more acceptable choice.

nohevenUID: 2447539

ISSUE208- "The way people look, dress, and act reveals their attitudes andinterests. You can tell much about a society's ideas and values byobserving the appearance and behavior of its people."

Knowing a society from behavior （<--标题？ 考试的时候不用写的）

Reading a society,appearance of its people is the cover; it's quite difficult to resistthe temptation to get the general impression from the first glance.However, such impression is too vague, and it can be meaningless. Oncontrary, behavior can provide us more information.
The dressing andappearance do provide us some information in specific conditions. Oncewe find people in a country share great similarity in dressing, justlike the traditional clothes in India, we can conclude the traditionstake the majority in such a society. Moreover, the muffled face ofwomen in Middle East also tells us the woman status in such Islamicsociety. Moreover,（建议换一个词，连续两句使用Moreover开头重复性过强） the simple dressing of a developing country womancan tell a totally different concept of consuming from a woman with LVfrom an affluent one. In these typical situations, the conclusion seemsto be reasonable and sound, since the social concept exerts the primaryinfluence. （这段的例子很丰富，但缺乏一定的阐述将例子和论点联系起来。）
However,considering more situations, the appearance can't offer too muchinformation, since under the influence of the internationalizing trend,people from different countries can share similar taste in clothing,which diminished the variety of dressing in various ethnics. In someexchange program between universities from different country, it'slikely to see students in China and United Kingdom dressing in asimilar way, while the cultural confliction can hardly be ignored. Suchphenomenon can also be detected on international conferences, wheremost participants from different areas keep a formal appearance insuits and their individual way of thinking. Simultaneously, mostcountries in the world have little interferences onto their people, inaddition of the high efficiency of information transmitting, mostpeople in the world now dress with their own modern interest.（仅仅强调tasts和interest，似乎和题目的主题关系不大。其实可以从tasts和interest引申出更深层的东西）
On the other hand,it seems that behavior is more stable in representing the social minds,regardless of the outside impact. Here is also typical（缺冠词） example. Eventhe dressing way（s） mostly internationalized, the behavior, to someextent, managed to remain original, since it's more firmly rooted (加上in tradition).While there is little difficulty for Islam to accept one dressing inshirts and jeans, hugging a woman as greeting can still receive ajudgment of affront. And it’s not rare that girls from traditionalcountries, who prefer a modern dressing, still keep a wary mind aboutsexual behaviors. Both situations in traditional countries illustratethat even dressing is already compromised, behavior still keep itsfaith to the social idea. （这段论述dressing ways 和behaviors脱节的情况，对主题有比较好的呼应作用，建议展开更多一些  ）
Moreover, behaviordoes contain a great amount of information about the society. Comparingto Western persons（Western persons改成Westerners）, Eastern ones tends to keep minimal body contact attheir greetings, which reveals a relatively more introversive way ofsocializing. Were more relatives convened in festival days, people withsuch custom tend to put family at a higher priority. From both personaland social behavior the idea of the society can be identified, and moredetailed information can be dug out. Again, when searching informationfrom the people’s dressing in Islamic country, we can only traditionconcept (主语在哪里?)takes the major position in the society. Further, from theirbehavior(s), we can get more information of their concepts about marriage,about religion, and about ideology. It is behavior that giving us anembodied comprehension of a society.
Concluded fromabove, appearance of people in a society can provide some informationin some typical situations, but fails in more, while behavior of itsindividuals can provide more detailed information, regardless of theoutside impact. When appearance fails to provide enough information,behavior is a more acceptable choice.

文章的观点比较清晰，但显得有点单薄——因为作者只指出了“是或不是”，建议增加进一步的论证与联系，以充实论点。
还有若干语法问题需要注意。
加油哈～

conniewangUID: 2610802

Knowinga society from behavior

Reading a society, appearance of its people is thecover; it's quite difficult to resist the temptation to get the generalimpression from the first glance. However, such impression is too vague, and itcan be meaningless. On (the) contrary, behavior can provide us more information.

The dressing and appearance do provide us someinformation in specific conditions. Once we find people in a country sharegreat similarity in dressing, just like the traditional clothes in India, we canconclude the traditions take the majority in such a society. Moreover, themuffled face of women in Middle East alsotells us the woman status in such Islamic society. Moreover, the simpledressing of a developing country woman can tell a totally different concept of consuming(改成sonsuming concept怎么样) from a woman with(改成dressing in) LV from(改成living in) an affluent one. In these typical situations, the conclusionseems to be reasonable and sound, since the social concept exerts the primaryinfluence.

However, considering more situations, the appearancecan't offer too much information, since under the influence of theinternationalizing trend, people from different countries can share similartaste in clothing, which diminished(删去) the variety of dressing in various ethnics. In someexchange programs between universities fromdifferent country(改成countries), it's likely to see students in China andUnited Kingdom dressing in a similar way, while the cultural confliction canhardly be ignored. Such phenomenon(改成复数phenomena) can also be detected oninternational conferences, where most participants from different areas keep aformal appearance in suits and their individual way of thinking(?). Simultaneously, most countries in theworld have little interferences of dressing onto their people, in addition of the high efficiency ofinformation transmitting, most people in the world now dress with their ownmodern interest.

On the other hand, it seems that behavior is morestable in representing the social minds, regardless of the outside impact. Hereis also(改成another)typical example. Even(改成although) the dressing way has mostly been internationalized, the behavior, to someextent, managed（改成manages） to remain original since it's more firmly rooted. While there islittle difficulty for Islam to accept one dressing in shirts and jeans, hugginga woman as greetingcan（删去） still receives a judgment of affront. And it’s also not rare that girls from traditionalcountries, who prefer a modern dressing, still keep a wary mind about sexualbehaviors. Both（改成These） situations in traditional countries illustrate that even dressingis already compromised, behavior still keep its faith to the social idea.

Moreover, behavior does contain a great amount ofinformation about the society. Comparing to Western persons, Eastern ones tendsto keep minimal body contacts at their greetings, which reveals a relatively moreintroversive way of socializing. Were(为什么用过去时态) more relatives convened in festival days,people with such a custom tend to put family at ahigher priority. From both personal and social behavior the idea of the societycan be identified, and more detailed information can be dug out. Again, whensearching information from people’s dressing in Islamic country(改成countries), we can only tradition concept takes themajor position in the society（缺谓语动词）.Further, from their behavior, we can get more information of their conceptsabout marriage, about religion, and about ideology.
（这句没有说明具体的情况，具体的例子，感觉缺点什么。） It is behavior that giving usan embodied comprehension of a society.

Concluded from above, appearance of people in asociety can provide some information in some typical situations, but fails inmore, while behavior of its individuals can provide more detailed information,regardless of the outside impact. When appearance fails to provide enoughinformation, behavior is a more acceptable choice.

我觉得没跑题，把外表、衣着和行动分开，你这个角度挺好的，给了我不少启发。

题外话：想问你，人们的态度、兴趣跟社会的观念、价值观这两个概念在题目里貌似是同一个东西，是不是这样的？

conniewangUID: 2610802

。。。。。。才发现有人先我一步改了

mobius.x64UID: 2628671

plz check it~

ErokoUID: 2659745

非常抱歉，这一篇自己改得实在不仔细，留下这么多语法错误，麻烦大家了> <

这一句主要是考虑社会中个人的服装受国际化影响比较大，很难保留各自的特色，从而难以反映社会的价值观和理念。而行为则更为根深蒂固，受外来冲击较小，更能反映社会真实的理念，例如家庭观念等，而且也能提供更细节的信息。

好像在个人理念和社会理念之间有点混淆？是否该加上衔接说明两者的关系更为合适？

CMGSUID: 2599842

ISSUE208 - "The way people look, dress, and act reveals their attitudes and interests. You can tell much about a society's ideas and values by observing the appearance and behavior of its people."
Knowing a society from behavior

Reading a society, appearance of its people is the cover; it's quite difficult to resist the temptation to get the general impression from the first glance. However, such impression is too vague, and it can be meaningless. On contrary, behavior can provide us more information.（开头信息点太少了，直接一个TS？而且TS很碎，要trenchant）

The dressing and appearance do provide us some information in specific conditions. Once we find people in a country share great similarity in dressing, just like the traditional clothes in India, we can conclude the traditions take the majority in such a society. Moreover, the muffled face of women in Middle East also tells us the woman status in such Islamic society. Moreover, the simple dressing of a developing country woman can tell a totally different concept of consuming from a woman with LV from an affluent one.（TS->EXAMPLE->CONCLUSION，不觉得这样有点单调么？既然提出了TS,那至少要说明为什么，是什么，怎么样吧） In these typical situations, the conclusion seems to be reasonable and sound, since the social concept exerts the primary influence.

However, considering more situations, the appearance can't offer too much information, since under the influence of the internationalizing trend, people from different countries can share similar taste in clothing, which diminished the variety of dressing in various ethnics. In some exchange program between universities from different country, it's likely to see students in China and United Kingdom dressing in a similar way, while the cultural confliction can hardly be ignored.（具体一点，仅仅通过一种状态是无法让人信服的） Such phenomenon can also be detected on international conferences, where most participants from different areas keep a formal appearance in suits and their individual way of thinking. Simultaneously, most countries in the world have little interferences onto their people, in addition of the high efficiency of information transmitting, most people in the world now dress with their own modern interest.

On the other hand, it seems that behavior is more stable in representing the social minds, regardless of the outside impact. Here is also typical example. Even the dressing way mostly internationalized, the behavior, to some extent, managed to remain original, since it's more firmly rooted. While there is little difficulty for Islam to accept one dressing in shirts and jeans, hugging a woman as greeting can still receive a judgment of affront. And it’s not rare that girls from traditional countries, who prefer a modern dressing, still keep a wary mind about sexual behaviors. Both situations in traditional countries illustrate that even dressing is already compromised, behavior still keep its faith to the social idea.（不是很赞同，南北战争期间南方很多人不也帮助黑人逃离么）

Moreover, behavior does contain a great amount of information about the society. Comparing to Western persons, Eastern ones tends to keep minimal body contact at their greetings, which reveals a relatively more introversive way of socializing. Were more relatives convened in festival days, people with such custom tend to put family at a higher priority. From both personal and social behavior the idea of the society can be identified, and more detailed information can be dug out. Again, when searching information from the people’s dressing in Islamic country, we can only tradition concept takes the major position in the society. Further, from their behavior, we can get more information of their concepts about marriage, about religion, and about ideology. It is behavior that giving us an embodied comprehension of a society.

Concluded from above, appearance of people in a society can provide some information in some typical situations, but fails in more, while behavior of its individuals can provide more detailed information, regardless of the outside impact. When appearance fails to provide enough information, behavior is a more acceptable choice.

大体上没有偏题，问题是论证力度不是很强。。论点很分散，不够集中。恩