教你搞定托福独立写作
本帖最后由 xiaoyongnao 于 2013-6-24 17:38 编辑昨天开了一个修改作文的帖子，貌似生意很惨淡。既然今天没人跟帖发作文上来，那就把这点空闲的时间用来讲讲英文写作吧。预计用4到5篇文章讲完自己的一些心得经验。当然，也适当参考了一些讲托福写作的书，更多的是自己的想法。
一 从英文八股文说起
考托福的人，一般来说，将来很少有人从事英文的文学创作。所以，接触到的多是一些应用的文体。比如书信（邮件）。这类英文写作一般较短小，一般就被称作“essay”。Essay中最重要的是能够表达自己的观点。
不知道大家有没有想过，为什么托福的独立写作，考的是所谓的“议论文”，而不是看图编故事或者写个笑话之类的。其实学习英文，最重要的也是表达自己的观点，并论证。
所有的essay都是八股文，都是有规律可循的。托福的独立写作也是一样。很多教写作的老师会弄一些所谓的“模板”给你来背，其实，这些根本不叫“模板”，你背的再纯熟也只是停留在托福写作的皮毛。
真正的模板是什么样子呢？简单来说，托福写作的目的最终是赢得阅卷老师的青睐，一般托福阅卷的时间是多少呢？对于独立写作，很不幸，不会超过10秒钟。要想在10秒钟展示一篇文章的中心观点，就需要一个符合阅卷人口味的框架，让他在这10秒是赏心悦目的感觉。这就是模板。
这个在很多书里都有提到：
Opinion
Outline sentence
Reason 1
Example/detail
Reason 2
Example/detail
Reason 3
Example/detail
Conclusion
（最近大概看了大家的文章，很多人都喜欢写两点。我不知道这是一种风气或者什么的，不过论证一个reason真心不需要太多词。）
言归正传。Opinion，就是你的观点。你可以同意，可以不同意，可以有保留的同意，可以看情况同意还是不同意。观点是什么这不重要，关键是如何论证。越是简单的观点越容易论证，比如单纯的同意或者不同意。所以，在水平有限的情况下，可以简单化自己的观点，同样可以得高分。而一些观点明显的就是不能简单地用同意或者不同意。碰到这样的情况，要么平时提升自己的水平，要么再考一次，拼下运气。
Outline sentence，就是给出文章的概要。比如“The three reasons that I disagree with the statement are addressed below.”之类的。这句很重要，一定要写。
Reason，我个人还是建议写3个，你有更多的机会展示你的写作水平。Reason并不是你一拍脑袋，直接写了3个理由，就往上写了。Reason之间要有一个上下衔接的关系，或者是有内在的联系，这样读起来文章才舒服。不好的reason就是读完之后感觉你的第一个和第二个理由差不多嘛，反反复复你都在说一个事情，这样就不好了。
Conclusion，简单就好，不要写得开心了，增加了前面没说过的，新的信息，就是你前面观点的一个简单概括。
这样，一个粗略的，没有艺术加工的文章就可以写出来了。
平时练习，可以专门练reason + example这个部分，练习多种论证方法。然后可以专门练习开头、结尾和每一段第一句话。整篇的练习个人觉得4、5篇足够了，重点不是怎么写文章，而是掌握一个pace。（如果有时间，多练习是没错的。如果没时间，不要以为自己时间不够了就没法得高分了。）
大家多顶顶啊，这样才有动力往下写。。。 THX ~~刚开始写作文，学习了~~看到你很热心地开帖子帮人改作文~~ 本帖最后由 xiaoyongnao 于 2013-6-24 21:52 编辑
二 例证
本人出奇的懒。讲例证总要有点例子出来，又不好随便拿别人的东西出来。于是翻来翻去，只找到了6篇之前写TPO的作文，和一篇不知道什么时候写的作文。
先看例子吧。
Additionally, social activities are significant factors for students to find a good job after graduation. A recruiting company, such as a newspaper, may focus on your past articles and experience, rather than your major and scores. Therefore, to make students gain bright future, universities should provide students with social activities opportunities, such as student union and internship. Students then will not only be easy to find a job, but also learn more about leadership and teamwork, which are even more important than scores in their career.
写的内容大概是说体育和社会活动对大学生来说很重要，可能大家也写过吧。一般我写综合写作，18分钟左右。所以也就这个样子了，大家可以找找自信。
既然说了，social activities are important in job hunting。所以就直接开始举例子了，再写啰嗦的话，比如From social activities, we could learn how to deal with different people and how to perform well in teams…这些都没啥必要，因为后面还要继续讨论了。倒不如直接讲一个具体的例子。所以就写a newspaper prefers students who show proficient experience in their resumes这样的话。然后再举例说明，学校可以提供哪些机会，比如student union and internship。最后其实就是总结了，讲为什么social activities are important in job hunting。
这样就是一个例证的例子。如果确定就是用举例子来说明问题了，那么废话越少越好。点名主题之后直接举例子，再讨论。
First of all, the government levies taxes and should use the revenues to improve the health care level in the country. I think this is one of the basic functions of a democratic government. In other words, Taxpayers should have the right to maintain some basic health care service provided by the government. For example, the government should organize the health insurance systems and offer emergency services.
这段有点愤青了，提到了democratic government了嘛。第一个理由，就是政府的收入应该用于提高health care水平，这是一个政府的基本职能。然后就换句话说，纳税人就有权利获得政府的health care福利。然后例子就是医疗保险和急救服务。
What’s more, it is the government’s obligation to build main medical facilities, such as hospitals, emergency centers, and medical schools, which could be beneficial to everyone in the country. As we all know, companies tend to be more profitable, so they may not feel like to build these facilities in the far away rural areas. If the government cannot take over the condition, the basic right of rural citizens could not be ensured, and the consequence may be serious.
然后就说政府要付钱去修建医疗设施，然后就是举了一些例子。为什么政府要建呢？就举例了，企业要盈利的，在边远地区的这些机构赔钱的，政府不来建，人民的基本医疗需求得不到保证，后果很严重。
Additionally, we certainly could not only rely on the government to provide health care service. Enterprises and individuals should see and get their roles in the health care systems in the country. For example, the government could not build enough hospitals for everyone, so hospitals owned by enterprises can be an important supplement. Furthermore, individuals can buy commercial insurance to protect their healthy condition as well.
再说一点，就是不能什么都要让政府做。然后举例就是私立的医院和个人购买商业人寿保险。
这个可能是TPO里面的吧，题目是It is the responsibility of the government to provide health care to everyone living in that country。我的观点是，恩。这个每一段都是例证了。直接在段落后面说明了。还是那句话，废话越少越好。
为什么要例证？第一，例证简单。因为要用一定的字数来举例，这样就避免了大段的陈述和演绎。事实上，这些陈述和演绎在我们的行文中，其实是比较粗陋的。就像一个外国人写中文拼命之乎者也一样，中国人看起来是很难受的。所以，尽量避免大段的陈述，因为真的很无聊，尤其还是各种语法错误。
第二，例证有说服力。
第三，例证是可以准备的。准备一些例子，可以各种使用，至少3段论证有一段就不需要时间思考了，直接写例子。比如“科学家还是艺术家重要”，In the first place, I consider that it is people working in science that lead the world to move on. When people hear the word “scientist”, most would connect the word to innovation and knowledge. Without scientist, such as Newton and Edison, we cannot imagine what our world would be. Scientists change the world by creating new theory and inventing new devices, and thus they impact society. For example, Darwin wrote “On the Origin of Species”, and made the evolution theory into everyone’s mind. Edison invented the lamp, and brought light to the dark world at night. Therefore, scientists contribute a lot to society, and no one could ignore their effects. 科学家推动社会进步，要么发明新理论，要么发明新工具，于是就举例了说明了。
我之前就准备的达尔文的例子，不管你什么题目，我都达尔文，起码比爱因斯坦好一些。当然了举自己身边人的例子也不错。强力建议来个英文名字，比如Steve Chen之类的，后面反复提到一个人，就直接Steve代替好了，千万别多次写拼音名，看起来很怪。
如何例证？第一句，写自己的观点。然后可以展开一句话，也可以直接举例。然后就是举例。然后，如果前面没有展开，后面就要说为什么这个例子证明了自己的观点，或者这个例子说明了什么。就好了。比如说明星作用很大。就可以说，Even the super film stars, Tom Cruise, cannot assure that each film in which he acted would certainly as success as the well-known series “Impossible Missions” in the ticket office。因此，明星的作用是有限的。比如说兴趣的重要性，你可以说Coach K, one of the most successful coaches in the NCAA history, refused a large contract, which would pay him nearly ten millions dollars per year, offered by Los Angeles Lakers, the famous NBA team. Because he loves what he is doing now.
当然，可以用从句，such as 之类的直接举例。比如，I always follow my own mind when I make a choice, such as choosing a college and a major.
顶~~ 本帖最后由 xiaoyongnao 于 2013-6-26 19:05 编辑
三 行文架构
还是举例来说明吧。
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Professional athletes, such as football and basketball players, do not deserve the high salaries that they are paid.
第一部分里说了，作文的框架就是开头，三段，结尾。那么一点一点来看。
对于这个题目，可以同意，也可以不同意，也可以有保留地同意。那么分别举例来说怎么写开头中间和结尾吧。
同意：事实上这个观点同意是最难写的。不过还是可以写。首先就是paraphrasing，把题目中的观点用自己的话表达。建议50个词左右。如果开头写多了，结尾就简单点，开头简单，结尾就多点。开头结尾都很多字，就会被怀疑没有内容了。
We could often recognize some sport stars in a Lamborghini or a private jet plane in newspapers and websites. Their high salaries cause many critical words. However, I argue that athletes deserve their remarkable incomes for three reasons addressed below.
First of all, sport stars have expended countless time in physical exercise since they are very young. It’s quite reasonable that they first pay and then they’re paid back.
Also, the incomes of athletes would drop significantly after they retired. Most athletes utilize their limited youth time to exchange for money.
Finally, only a small part of athletes could become professional athletes finally and win huge money and fame. Most sport players are the base of sport pyramid and earn moderate incomes.
In sum, sport superstars deserve the high compensations that they are paid. As for the people who like to spend a lot of time on criticizing and envying others, I truly recommend that they should pay more attention to their tasks and try to become top ones in their fields, the salaries of whom would be adequately high as well.
先敲出框架，后面就是往里面随便填东西了。这个是可以举很多例子的，举例子的好坏就取决于你多了解这个行当了。花5分钟随便展开一点：
First of all, sport stars have expended countless time in physical exercise since they are very young. It’s quite reasonable that they first pay and then they’re paid back. For example, Ray Allen, the Big Heart who scored a pivotal 3-point in Game 6 of this NBA finals, earns nearly USD 3M this season. His salary is higher than most CEOs from Fortune 500 companies. However, we could not ignore the efforts Allen has paid in his 17 years in NBA. When his teammates enter the arena about 3 hours before game beginning, he has already finished his jumping shoot practice. Therefore, I think that Allen deserves his big contract as most athletes.
在论证观点的时候，自己提出了什么样的reason不重要，重要的是，能够rationale。
不要沉 xiaoyongnao 发表于 2013-6-25 13:19 static/image/common/back.gif
不要沉
亲，等着看续集呢~{:biti:} stupidjoey 发表于 2013-6-25 20:19 static/image/common/back.gif
亲，等着看续集呢~
刚才又写了10分钟，最近没心情了，再说吧。 写完今天的作文后才看到，然后估摸着我的作文又悲剧了，orz~~ 今晚更新，顶顶 顶顶~~坐等 copyzero2 发表于 2013-6-26 18:29 static/image/common/back.gif
顶顶~~坐等
6楼。。。:mad: xiaoyongnao 发表于 2013-6-26 18:52 static/image/common/back.gif
6楼。。。
THX~~我又受教了~~ 继续写吧~