[未归类] Daisy8月14日作文帖 [复制链接]

daisy1031
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电梯直达

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发表于 2010-8-14 12:31:32 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

Daisy的作文帖（8月14日）

Daisy 第一次的作文帖，请多多指教。
09.08.07NA
Do youagree or disagree with the following statement? Parents should allow childrento make their own choices rather than determine their children’s future forthem.

文章：Daisy
字数：442
时长：不限

Itis too absolute to say
that parents shouldallow children to make their own choices rather than determine their children’sfuture for them. But in most of the time, I have to agree with that the parentsshould allow children often to make their own choices.

Admittedly, the parents cannot live with theirchildren for a whole life, after the children grow up, they have to determinetheir own future. I have an experience to take care two American kids for oneyear, although they are 5 years old, their parents let them practice how to maketheir own choices. For example, their parents usually let them to choose whatactivities they want to do, what food they want for dinner and whether they wantgo to a library or a park. Although the children are immature and inconsiderate,but it is very good chance to guide and train the kids are capable of beingindependent when they are young.

In order to be able to make a good choice in futurea young adult must gain confidence. And the parents not only can help byencouraging and supporting him or her in communication, but also they canprovide their children with all necessary information. A child at the teenagewill be able to recognize the best arguments and reasons. Through their parents’guidance he or she will make a right choice and feel as it though was completelyby his or her own. In this way, the children continue to seek the useful advicefrom their parents, and they giant the self- confidence from this experiencewill make easier for them make a good choice in the future.

While the children lack at the experience andknowledge to make good choices. The parents should advise and ensure theirchildren to make a right choice. Finding a right university or a right jobafter the children graduate from high school is a good example. My friend madea decision which was took a job after she graduated from high school, becauseshe thought it takes too long time to finish 4 years study in a university. Butfinally she couldn’t find out an appropriate job after she looked for it for along time. She regretted for she ignored her parents’ advice, and she miss thetime to enroll in a university. This experience will be invaluable when shegraduate from university and have a real job.

To sumup, almost every parent wants their children to be successful, but the importantthing isparents shouldallow children to make their own choices rather than determine their children’sfuture for them.

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serena-blue
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沙发

发表于 2010-8-15 10:44:23 |只看该作者

虽然作者的论点是家长应该让孩子做自己的选择，但文章的大部分都是讲父母对孩子的帮助？作者是否应该修改一下自己的观点，使得文章前后比较一致？
另外，还希望作者稍微注意一下句子的结构。
个人观点，如果不妥，请见谅，呵呵。
Itis too absolute to say that parents should allow children to make their own choices rather than determine(determining) their children’s future for them. But in most of the time, I have to agree with that the parentsshould allow children often to make their own choices.
(

p, K$ Z Q, V
Admittedly, the parents cannot live with their children for a whole life, after the children grow up, they have to determine their own future. I have an experience to take care two American kids for one year, although they are 5 years old, their parents let them practice how to make their own choices. For example, their parents usually let them to choose what activities they want to do, what food they want for dinner and whether they want （to）go to a library or a park. Although the children are immature and inconsiderate,but （although 和 but选一个使用）it is very good chance to guide and train the kids are capable of beingindependent when they are young.

O/ f, c0 O% U1 |
In order to be able to make a good choice in future a young adult must gain confidence. And the parents not only can help by encouraging and supporting him or her in communication, but also they can provide their children with all necessary information. A child at the teenage will be able to recognize the best arguments and reasons. Through their parents’guidance he or she will make a right choice and feel as it though was completely by his or her own. In this way, the children continue to seek the useful advice from their parents, and they giant the self- confidence from this experience will make easier for them （to)make a good choice in the future. a# w7 X! x. `$ {* ^2 G, w9 m

While the children lack at the experience and knowledge to make good choices. The parents should advise and ensure their children to make a right choice. Finding a right university or a right job after the children graduate from high school is a good example. My friend mad ea decision which was took (改成taking )a job after she graduated from high school, because she thought it takes(would take) too long time to finish 4 years study in a university. But finally she couldn’t find out(find) an appropriate job after she looked for it for a long time. She regretted for(as) she ignored her parents’ advice, and she miss the time to enroll in a university. This experience will be invaluable when she graduate(s) from university and have a real job(在这儿有点奇怪她到底最后去大学了吗）.5 (({9 h. q# P& ]6 ?7 p

To sum up, almost every parent wants their children to be successful, but the important thing is （that)parents should allow children to make their own choices rather than determine(determining) their children’s future for them.

不放弃，不灰心

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longxue26
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板凳

发表于 2010-8-15 14:08:05 |只看该作者

It is too absolute to say that parents should allow children to make their own choices rather than determine their children’sfuture for them. But in most of the time, I have to agree with that the parents should allow children often to make their own choices.

Admittedly一开始就用这个词不妥不妥, the parents cannot live with their children for a whole life, after the children grow up, they have to determinetheir own future. I have an experience to take care two American kids for one year, although they are 5 years old, their parents let them practice how to make their own choices. For example, their parents usually let them to choose what activities they want to do, what food they want for dinner and whether they want go to a library or a park. Although the children are immature and inconsiderate,but it is very good chance to guide and train the kids are capable of being independent when they are young. 你的例子我懂但是道理讲得不到位

In order to be able to make a good choice in future a young adult must gain confidence. And the parents not only can help by encouraging and supporting him or her in communication, but also they can provide their children with all necessary information. A child at the teenage will be able to recognize the best arguments and reasons. Through their parents’guidance he or she will make a right choice and feel as it though 这里要说什么?was completelyby his or her own. In this way, the children continue to seek the useful advice from their parents, and they giant the self- confidence from this experience will make easier for them make a good choice in the future."
这段说的乱不知道到底在说什么也缺少例证

While the children lack at--应该是in the experience and knowledge to make good choices. The parents should advise and ensure their children to make a right choice. Finding a right university or a right job after the children graduate from high school is a good example. My friend madea decision which was took a job after she graduated from high school, becauseshe thought it takes too long time to finish 4 years study in a university. Butfinally she couldn’t find out an appropriate job after she looked for it for along time. She regretted for she ignored her parents’ advice, and she miss thetime to enroll in a university. 这句这么说太浅了可以不说省略掉 This experience will be invaluable when shegraduate from university and have a real job这句要说什么呢其实和前面3句都说的一样的意思不用再重复地讲了

To sumup, almost every parent wants their children to be successful, but the importantthing isparents shouldallow children to make their own choices rather than determine their children’sfuture for them.

论证的比较浅显不深刻不是很说服人缺少中心论点分论点和例子与论点的相结合
红色的部分为拼写错误或者语法小错误
建议多看范文自己回头先修改

God Bless me!
我想我可以的!是一定可以的!是一定一定不错的!

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