留学文书如何写？ (持续更新)

Laterlink雷特霖UID：3945586

16楼  点评留学文书要领 --- 关于 Accounting & Mathematic

Attending an interesting and informative lecture on Accounting confirmed my desire to do a degree in this field. I was under the impression that accountancy purely involved dealing with figures, but I learned that they are advisors who help businesses maximize profits whilst minimizing liabilities to ensure they comply with regulations. I have also learnt that accountants are always in demand in the economy as they play an important part in any business.

开头一上来就说我听了一个关于 accounting 的讲座，从而打开了我的心结，勾起了我对会计专业的兴趣，然后提到我原本对 accounting 的理解是何等的肤浅，接着引出我意识到 accounting 在对商业运作是超级重要的。

问题来了: 区区一场讲座就能改变我对会计专业的认识和看法，那说明我本来对这个专业的认识足够肤浅（文段第二句话也足够证明，我居然以为会计就是算数而已），所以教授读完第一句话就觉得无聊了......

当然，并不是开头不能分享一场讲座的内容，关键是要有 key point，如果你从一场讲座中悟出了关于例如 risk management 某个深邃的观点，那倒是可以聊起来的。

I have always expressed an interest for Maths. From the age of 7, I attended a school maths class, which helped me develop my mental arithmetic skills and apply them to harder and more complex problems. My passion has grown throughout secondary school, but I have become especially interested and aware of topics throughout my studies at A-Level. Studying Maths and Further Maths has provided me with the opportunity to learn different aspects of mathematics in-depth and about the different theories and how they were derived. Furthermore, I feel it has given me an insight into working out statistical problems and relating these to real-life situations. My genuine interest and passion for maths has been demonstrated through and enhanced by, events such as the Intermediate Mathematics Challenge, for which I achieved a silver award this year. I am participating in the MTUK Senior Mathematics Challenge and hoping to achieve high results.

这一段分享了我和数学自小开始的亲密故事，但基本都是流水账式的摆经历。develop my mental arithmetic skills 是怎样 develop？apply them to harder and more complex problems 是怎样 apply？learn different aspects of mathematics in-depth 是如何 in-depth？relating these to real-life situations 是怎样的情景运用？harder、complex、in-depth 虚无缥缈的修饰词一大堆，但没有任何有效细节，没有任何具体的点，只能让人读来无感。

你说你参加个什么数学竞赛 Intermediate Mathematics Challenge，这种类型的比赛很多，而且很多小孩都参加过。它不是诺贝尔奖，不是一说出来名字就立刻能说明你超凡实力的名目。所以你提到你参加这种比赛并获奖本身并不能说明你有啥特质。

总的来说，这个开头就是一堆琐碎事实和经历的堆砌，没有任何的具体细节支撑，让人一看就觉得发虚……

Laterlink雷特霖UID：3945586

17楼  点评留学文书要领 --- 细节，关键是细节！关于 Accounting

Since I was just a kid. I have shown a great admiration to those who carved out from scratch because I think that is the life I expected for with vigor and challenge. However, many of them failed at last mainly because of thefinancial accounting. It is very difficult for a company to change the resource into money without professional financial management and abundant financial professional knowledge.

文章一开头点出我看到很多人创业失败的原因是 financial accounting，从而点出 accounting 的重要性。但没有任何具体细节支撑这个观点。创业失败的经历其实可以作为一个万能段套在任何专业身上：

很多人去奋斗去创业因为不懂管理而失败从而点出 management 的重要性;
很多人去奋斗去创业因为不懂营销而失败从而点出 marketing 的重要性......

它似乎和 accounting 没有任何内在联系，就只是借了个 accounting 的躯壳来用用而已。

As the “batch product of the school", I desire to become the "class A product" with abundant professional knowledge and good quality after two years of study on the campus. 

第二段透露我意识到 accounting 的重要性，这里表达了要申请这个项目来深造的心迹，并强调要努力学学出好成绩 Class A。

Although I knew that the "investment risk” was ineluctable, I believe the future investment yield will be huge in the future. On the choice of an investment project, I certainly chose my favorite accounting in the financial field and sincerely hope that the further study can present me with a solid foundation and full preparations for the future work in the company financing.

这里接着用了一个打比方的手法把我来申请读 accounting 硕士比作一个 future investment，审阅者读完这段话，会觉得你对自己，对未来，为这个项目缺乏信心。所以这种 "investment risk” 的打比方手法不太合适，而且也不有趣。

总的来说，这里一开提到 accounting 的重要性认识，从而引出我的目标计划，思路其实是对的。但因为 1. 没有具体细节支撑、2. 打比方手法欠妥，从而导致整体效果不佳。

Laterlink雷特霖UID：3945586

18楼  细节，关键是细节！（二）关于 Financial Management

Unlike most of the people start their interests through achievements, my interest in accounting started with the failure of the ERP competition. When the Ill-planned budget caused the capital strand breaks, all of our strategies failed to work and the different part of the team which supposes to be one fall apart. That's the moment I realized the accounting and controllership system is the soul of a company and began to take every chance to learn about it.

这个开头是通过一个失败经历 failure of the ERP competition 来说明我对 accounting 的兴趣以及意识到它的重要性。但问题就在于缺乏细节支撑，于是读起来就很平庸了。capital strand breaks 是具体如何导致的？ strategies failed to work 是如何 fail 的，与当时具体我们的 accounting and controllership system 有啥关联？我们是如何操作的？

细节、细节，always 是细节！

Laterlink雷特霖UID：3945586

19楼  在 PS 中如何正确地分享小故事？

I am writing to apply for the MSc Finance with the aim of specializing in corporate finance management and development strategy analysis based on financial accounting. 

开头直接说明我要申请具体专业，简单明了扼要，不错。

My interest in pursuing a specialization in accounting and finance stemmed from the special business operations experience in my childhood. My uncle is a self-employed businessman who used to own a small grocery. He always involved me in his business operations when I was left home while my parents had to go out for work. I was therefore exposed to the estimation of purchasing amount, revenue and profit calculation, sales promotion design, etc. much earlier than many of my peers did. The small grocery had been closed down shortly afterward due to poor financial management, which deeply impressed me with the importance of financial management no matter whether in an international corporate or even in a small local grocery.

接着讲起了历史故事。以”我“目睹 uncle 家的杂货铺因资金财务状况不良而关门作为引子，说明我自小开始意识到财务管理的重要性，在小小的脑袋里种下这一专业的种子。但每天都有成千上万家商店倒闭，每个都有成千上万的人目睹这些倒闭，目睹或参与倒闭本身并不能说明我有什么特异技能。

所以一句话总结：分享小时候的小故事作为引子没问题，但关键点在于，我的目睹和其他人的目睹有什么不同？

Laterlink雷特霖UID：3945586

20楼  在 PS 中如何正确地分享小故事？（二）用 Business Analytics 专业来说...

I am writing to apply for MSc Business Analytics in xxx university. I would like to enhance my practical academic experience and get trained all around to keep pace with globalization for today’s business world.

开头同样是开门见山，说明来意，配上一句强调 enhance my practical academic experience 和 keep pace with globalization 既是联系目标专业（该同学申请的学校项目本身就强调扎实基本功的修炼），也是表面大致兴趣规划，其实下文内容也是围绕这一句话展开，所以也是概括句。

I have been sensitive to numbers & data since childhood. As a kid, I was always amazed at the overwhelming power of those ugly and crumpled paper, so-called “money”. With different amount of money, I could exchange for my favorite stuff, candies, toys, picture books, and even the exciting firecrackers during the spring festivals. It seemed to me then money can buy everything. I enjoyed observing adults making deals in farmers’ markets, in malls and etc. as I thought spending money was naturally a way of communication with the outside world. Only after grown up have I learned the ideas like purchasing power and economic statistics. And gradually I became interested in dealing with numbers and data.

接着开始讲起小故事作为引子，是一个有具体细节支撑的例子，从我小时候以小孩儿的视角来看“money”的种种有趣想法，从能交换各种玩具，到把它当做一种与外部世界的交流方式 a way of communication with the outside world，再到长大后从学科专业角度看，很独特、有趣也很值得玩味。

Laterlink雷特霖UID：3945586

21楼  跨专业申请怎么整 之 数据分析 Data Analytics

我自小就爱看 NBA，詹姆斯是我的超级偶像。大学选了广告专业，大一时出于好奇开始研究 NBA 的全球推广策略：包括对比 NBA 不同时期广告宣传语：从 80 年代的 slogan：It"s fantastic！到 2007 - 2012 年的口号： Where amazing happens！再到现在的 Why do we play；包括 NBA 如何运作中国赛；如何让球星拍农历新年祝福广告 ——一堆堆黑人球星大哥们穿着中国传统长衫马褂跟大家伙拜年；如何与 ESPN、腾讯等媒体推广转播，持续搞事情，把自己弄成了全球影响力最大的体育赛事之一。 

渐渐地，我发觉 NBA 是个大宝藏：它有完善的运作机制，代表了最先进的转播技术等，但最最最让我震撼的是其详细而纷繁、有趣又好玩儿的的数据统计：比赛直播期间能随时弹出某个球员的得分情况，例如连续 N 场比赛得分 30+、篮板 X 个、助攻 Y 个…… 他们强大到可以发明如此多的排行榜、并且总能在恰当的时候立即生成。正是这些数据和排行榜给球迷多维度视觉去看一场比赛、一支球队以及一个球员。

我由此认识到了数据的强大力量，NBA 打开了我的新世界！透过数据分析，一个球员的过往经历、当下竞技水平、各项技能是进步还是退步，与其他同类型球员相对的优缺点，进步潜力多大，还能如何改善技战术水平等细节问题都一目了然。

NBA 撩起了我学习数据分析和统计学的强烈欲望。于是我开始选修统计学院的相关课程。我了解到数据以及基于数据的分析和衍生实在太玩味、太有创意了，你可以通过财务分析跨过任何表面文章而直达一个公司或一个行业的实际情况，还能就此制定深远的运营计划。现在一个优秀的广告推广项目也越来越依赖数据分析。

大三第一学期，我决定跨专业申请数据分析硕士。 因为是转专业，所以要更加注意把原广告专业和目标的数据分析专业的联系以及我对两者的认识凸显出来。我在个人陈述里主打以下两点：

1.一门心思深挖 NBA 这个例子，强调深究 NBA 强大的数据统计打开了我的新世界，以及建立数据对商业运作影响的新认识：通过财报分析企业或行业就像透过数据分析一名球员或球队...... 这样的比对够新鲜、别致和体现我对数据科学知识体系的灵活理解吧！ 

2.研究分析比对 NBA 和英超、F1赛车、网球 ATP 等国际顶级赛事的财务收支和运营情况，凸显我独立运用财务会计知识进行独到分析的能力。

最终，我拿到了香港大学 HKU、爱丁堡大学 University of Edinburgh、曼大等几个 offers。

呆喵UID：3898168

感谢分享！！～

aliceguoUID：3991954

感谢分享

Laterlink雷特霖UID：3945586

24 楼 网申攻略：推荐信上传

关于推荐信上传，有2种方法：申请人（applicant）上传推荐信；推荐人（Referee）上传推荐信。今天主要给大家分享一下由推荐人（Referee）上传推荐信的步骤以及注意事项。

由推荐人（Referee）上传推荐信，分为3个步骤：
1. 申请人（applicant）在网申系统填写推荐人的姓名，头衔以及邮箱地址。

2.  学校发送邮件给推荐人。

LSE发给推荐人的邮件：

Request for Letter of Reference
Please save this email for future reference
08/Nov/2019

Dear Mr ***,

***, who is applying to a graduate programme at the London School of Economics and Political Science, has nominated you as a referee in support of an application for:
For information on LSE's programmes, please see our list of available programmes.

UCL发给推荐人的邮件：

Dear ***，



Miss ***， is applying to study at UCL and has nominated you to provide a reference for this application. We would be grateful if you could take the time to provide this reference. The application is for:

Title - ****
Code - ***

Sequence -****
Academic year - 2020/21
Mode of attendance - Full-time
Start Date - 21/Sep/2020 

Please click on the link below. You do not require a username and password to log into the referee's portal. If the link takes you to a login page requiring a username and password then it will be because the link below has split. Please copy and paste the FULL LINK into your browser address box.
                                    

3. 推荐人（Referee）收到学校的邮件后，点开邮件里面的链接，在Referee Portal板块上传推荐信，选择upload，然后submit提交。

注意事项:

如果推荐人（Referee）是学校的老师，那么最好填写学校的邮箱（edu.cn结尾的邮箱），不要填写老师的私人邮箱，比如qq邮箱，126邮箱等。

大部分学校是可以直接上传PDF格式的推荐信（UCL不建议上传PDF的格式）。

UCL发给推荐人的邮件：

When you click on the link you will have these options:
- Complete an online form including a space where you can copy and paste a pre-prepared statement or write directly into the box provided;
- Download, complete and upload a reference form in Word format;
- Upload an existing reference in Word or PDF format. Please note that we strongly encourage you to use Word rather than PDF as PDF can cause problems with merging documents after an application is submitted. Our preference is that all references are received in the format provided in the online form or existing Word document.
- Decline to provide a reference if you feel unable to act as a referee for ***

提醒推荐人（Reference）将招生委员会的邮箱设置成白名单，不然学校系统发送给推荐人的邮件可能会被屏蔽。
UCL网申系统的提示：

We advise that you and your referees add the following email address to your list of approved contacts so that you receive all application related correspondence: xxx

如果推荐人（Referee）迟迟收不到学校的邮件，申请人可以发邮件给学校的招生委员会，向招生委员会说明情况，寻求帮助。学校很快都会给出解决方案，比如提供一个电子邮箱，让推荐人直接将推荐信发到这个邮箱：又或者建议推荐人直接将推荐信邮寄给学校

LSE招生委员会的邮件回复1：

Dear ***,

Thank you for your email and interest in the London School of Economics.
 We are sorry to hear that your referees are having trouble submitting their references. Please ask your referees to check their junk/spam folder as emails from LSE often get filtered out. If your referees are still experiencing trouble in submitting their references, then please ask that they submit their references to xxx and we will manually add these to the online reference portal to complete your application. However, please note that this method will delay your application in being submitted as we will need to do this manually.


LSE招生委员会的邮件回复2:

Dear ***,



Thank you for your email. Please check that the email address sent to was xxx . However if that is not the issue and it still cannot be sent electronically please ask them to send the reference and form to us by post

Our postal address is:

Graduate Admissions,
The London School of Economics and Political Science,
PO Box 13420,
Houghton Street,
London,
WC2A 2AR,
United Kingdom.

5. 推荐人（Referee）收到邮件后，可以将邮件转发给申请人，由申请人按照上述的3个步骤来提交推荐信。