[FWD] 留学文书全攻略

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FROM: 北京睿智联合英文编辑中心

外籍专家谈PS——前言
2004-08-09


Introduction

Writing a good personal statement is an important part of any application to graduate or professional school. The personal statement not only shows the admissions committee that you can write an interesting, cohesive essay, but it also allows them to learn about you as a person. This is your chance to show them that you are more than just a list of grades and test scores; show them how you will contribute to the school and its community.

Supply the committee with unique information about yourself that does NOT appear elsewhere in your application. With thousands of applicants vying for a limited number of slots, you must make yourself stand out. As in any essay, it is crucial that you know your audience. A detailed list of professional goals that demonstrates determination, motivation, and, above all, careful thought, often enhances your application. While it should go without saying, your essay must employ grammar correctly. While proper grammar doesn't earn you points, sloppy grammar can be the kiss of death. Poor grammar suggests to the committee that you are a careless student who is not detail oriented. Needless to say, admissions officers value precision and attention to detail. Afterall, how many people will trust a sloppy, careless lawyer or engineer? While that making the leap from sloppy grammar to careless lawyer might seem far-fetched, countless admissions officers tell a different story.


This handout was written with the help of Alissa Irvin

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外籍专家谈PS——关于目标
2004-08-09


Goals
Forecasting your goals for a career you've not even begun can prove a daunting task, but most admissions committees expect you to do just that. Remember that while they may expect you to complete this unwieldy task, no one is going to hold you to the goals you outline in your personal statement. In fact, committees are really just using this portion of your essay to gauge your motivation, knowledge of the field, and commitment to the course of study. Above all, they want to know that you have carefully considered your reasons for pursuing a graduate degree and the career it eventually makes possible. For many students, this is one of the most difficult portions of the essay to write. Before launching into this section (or any part of the essay, for that matter), you should take some time for self-reflection. Most committees are impressed by essays that express not only motivation and intelligence (your grades can show that as well), but also thoughfulness, maturity, and self-awareness.


This handout was written with the help of Pond Kittisuwan.

译:

关于目标

预测一个你还甚至没有开始的职业的目标可能有点困难,但是大部分录取人员都希望你在这个问题上尽力而为. 请记住,尽管他们要求你完成这个不切实际的任务,但是没有人会因为你在真实生活中不按照申请信中的目标发展而起诉你. 实际上, 录取方的真正意图是通过这个部分来衡量你的动机,专业知识,以及对所学课程的投入程度. 首先,他们想知道你是否已经认真考虑过为什么要攻读一个研究生的学位.

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外籍专家谈PS——与众不同的信息
2004-08-09


Unique Information
Unique information about yourself is an important part of your personal statement for Graduate and Professional Schools because for many committees this is their first (and perhaps only) chance to find about you as a person. This information should highlight your talents, interests, and accomplishments; it should also give life to your academic records. Though you want your personality to show in your statement, remember to keep the tone of the statement professional. Never include anything that could be misconstrued as offensive in any way. Keep in mind that humor is very difficult to pull off. Unless you are extremely confident (and have asked several people to read your essay), it may be best to steer clear of jokes and sarcasm.


The unique information in your statement should include an opening that will grab the reader's attention. Remember one of the main goals of this essay is to make yourself memorable to the committee. Consider beginning with a particular experience that relates to your career interests. But stay away from wild stories that bear little relevance to your career goals or other main points in the essay. While many applicants like to begin with a quotation, this is overused. Only take this strategy if the quotation is truly meaningful to you or ties in creatively with the rest of your essay. Be sure to include any relevant personal or work experiences, particularly if they do not appear elsewhere in your application. Somewhere in the essay, perhaps towards the end, you should consider pointing out why the specific institution is a good match for you.

This handout was written with the help of Landon Moore.

译:

与众不同的信息

无论申请研究生院还是商/法学院, 申请信中的关于申请者本人的与众不同的信息至关重要, 因为对于许多校方录取者而言, 申请信是把申请者作为一个"完人"来了解的第一个(也许是唯一的)机会. 这些信息应该能够提纲挈领地展示你的天赋,兴趣和成就; 同时也能够使你的那些成绩分数变得不再枯燥.尽管你想使申请信充满个性,但是请记住保持专业的行文风格.永远不要在文中包含任何可能被误会为冒犯性的内容. 请记住, 在申请信中使用幽默很难达到你想要的效果.除非你非常有把握(并且让其他人阅读过你的文章), 否则最好还是离那些笑话和讽刺远一些.

你的申请信中与众不同的信息应该包含一个能够吸引读者注意的开篇.请记住,这种文章的功能之一就是使你在在录取方心中留下印象. 你可以考虑在文章开头讲述一段与你的职业兴趣有关系的特殊经历. 但是请不要使用那些与职业目标或者文中其他重点没什么太大关系的荒诞故事. 很多申请者喜欢在文章开头引用名人名言,但是这种做法被滥用了.只有当所引用的话对你而言真正的有意义,或者与文章的其他部分巧妙而紧密地结合在一起, 你才这么做. 请一定要提到任何相关的个人信息或工作经验,特别是当这些信息不会在申请资料的其他地方出现. 在文中的某个地方, 最好在靠后一点的部分,你应该考虑说明一下为什么这个学校适合你.

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外籍专家谈PS——注意你的听众是谁，注意你的语气
2004-08-09


Audience and Voice
It's important to keep your audience in mind as your write your personal essay. While the admissions committee appreciates creative essays, they also know all the tricks. After all, many of them have been reading thousands of applications for decades. So, make yourself stand out, but dont' write what you think the committee wants to hear. First of all, they've heard all that before. Second, they can see through your attempts to please. The most successful essays are those in which the author is honest and genuine. The best advice we can give you is simply to be yourself. That also means paying some attention to voice, or the personality behind your writing. You should not be afraid of using "I" in your personal statement. This essay should not be a dry, academic essay, but neither should it be one stand-up comic routine; instead, you should strive for a balance between the two. Admissions committees also complain that many students try excessively hard to create an entertaining voice or write what they deem sophisticated prose. Often, these attempts backfire, making the essay sound contrived and flowery. You can avoid these pitfalls simply by being yourself.


This handout was written with the help of Michael Nguyen.

译:

在写作申请信时,您一定要时刻记住是谁在阅读您的文章. 录取委员会当然欣赏那些有创造力的文章, 但是他们也了解所有的小伎俩. 毕竟, 他们中的许多人在过去的数十年中已经阅读了成千上万份申请材料. 因此, 您应该使自己与众不同, 但是不要写一些你认为录取方想听的话. 首先, 他们都已经听过了. 其次, 他们能看穿您的取悦企图. 最成功的文章往往是那些诚实而真实的文章. 我们能给您的最好建议就是----做您自己. 这就意味着您应该注意文中的语气口吻, 以及文中刻画的人物性格. 您不应该害怕在申请信中使用"我"这第一人称. 申请信不能成为一篇枯燥的教条式的文章, 但更不能演化成一幕滑稽的闹剧; 相反, 您应该在这两个极端中取得一个平衡. 录取委员会的委员们抱怨道, 很多学生过分地试图在文中营造一种滑稽的气氛, 或者把申请信写成了一篇他们认为很不错的散文. 这种起反作用的试图常常使得文章看起来很做作, 华而不实. 其实您可以避免这些写作陷阱, 只要您简单地----做您自己.

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外籍专家谈PS——研究生院与法/商学院的区别
2004-08-09

The Difference between Professional Schools (Law, Business，Medical) and Graduate Schools:
While graduate school committees certainly expect well-written, thoughtful essays, they are looking for different content from their applicants. For graduate schools, that will likely be funding your education for the next 2-6 years, they want to know about your specific qualifications in your field. In other words, you should spend most of your essay explaining your interest, research experience, and disciplinary goals. Be sure that you research the school well to determine whether your interests align with those of a faculty member. Not only must you convince a committee that you are a qualified applicant, but you must also convince them (and probably also a particular professor) that your interests match the needs of the department; after all, they are about to invest a substantial amount of money and time in your education. With this in mind, limit the personal anecdotes and extracurricular interests to those that pertain directly to your field of interest or career goals.

This handout was written with the help of Michael Nguyen.

译:

法/商/医学院与研究生院对PS的要求区别如下:

研究生院的录取委员会期待着看到有文采有思想的文章, 但同时他们在申请者身上寻找一些与众不同的东西. 对于研究生院而言, 他们将要在接下来的2至6年中资助您的学术生涯, 因此他们想了解您在您的研究领域中具体有什么过人之处. 换句话说, 您应该使用较大的篇幅阐述您的兴趣、研究经验、以及一直追求的目标. 一定要认真地调查以确保您的研究迎合了教授的兴趣. 您不仅要说服录取委员会相信您是一个合格的申请者, 而且您要说服他们(也许是其中某一个教授)相信您的研究兴趣符合系里的需要; 毕竟, 他们将要在您身上投资一大笔资金和大量的时间. 考虑到这些, 您应该少说一些您的生活经历和业余兴趣什么的, 多讲讲您感兴趣研究领域和职业目标等.

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“怎样在PS中写出漂亮的句子？”——抽象名词的力量
- 2004-08-07

抽象名词的力量

很多英语专业的朋友可能听到外教们不止一次地建议，在英文写作中要多尝试用动词代替名词，因为他们认为动词更有力度，更容易领会。这个建议本身并没有错，但与中文不同的是，英语词型灵活多变。例如，动词"lead"，可变为"leader" ，这对中国学生来说是比较容易理解的部分。然而，"lead" 和 "leader" 这两个本来有具体含义的词，还可以进一步变为抽象的"leadership"。我们在申请文书特别是推荐信中经常使用到"leadership"，虽然这个词的概念并不难理解，但中国人很难找到相应的中文词语。通常情况下，"leadership"被翻译为“领导才能”，这样我们就犯了以偏盖全的错误，因为“领导才能”是一个具体名词，而"leadership"比“领导才能”的含义多得多。中国的英语学习者不难理解"She married a welathy person who comes from an influential and powerful political family"或者"She married into a wealthy and powerful political family"，因为"family"和"person"都是具体名词，但是要明白"She married a powerful political political dynasty"就不是那么容易了。因为 "dynasty"是个抽象名词。


由于这种语言差异的存在，学英语的中国人很自然地倾向使用具体名词而不是抽象名词，可能是因为汉语善于运用具体名词而在抽象名词的使用上相对较弱的原因。

再举一个大家非常熟悉的"scholarship"为例，作为具体名词，意思是“奖学金”，但很少有人知道它可以作为抽象名词来解释，如：

Drawing on the scholarship of the ancient China, Professor Joseph Needham and his Chinese collaborators at Cambridge University wrote what was to become the colossal 25 volumes of "Science and Civilization in China".

在这里，"scholarship"的意思是学识、学问。书面英语，特别是一篇写得好的申请信中常使用抽象名词。中国申请者在文书方面面临的最大挑战之一是如何学会包括运用抽象名词在内的技巧。

例：

具体： She has become so famous that her name is synonymous to one of the labs in this university.
抽象： She has become an institution in one of the labs in this university.
   
具体： Mr.Liu is one of the youngest Fellows of the National Scoiety and a most distinguished biochemist.
抽象： Mr.Liu is one of the youngest Fellows of the National Scoiety and a biochemist of considerable distinction.
   
具体： My US friends took me to a great many historical corners in campus of Harvard and shared with me abundant information, which I could hardly have obtained in any other way.
抽象： My US friends offered me a remarkable orientation of Harvard's history, which I could hardly have obtained in any other way.  
   
具体： You must seek the word, the verb, and the adjective that best captures your ideas, and never be satisfied with the ones that only come close to what you want to convey.  
抽象： You must seek the word, the verb, and the adjective that best captures your ideas, and never be satisfied with approximations.

注意，我们承认英语中存在大量的抽象名词，但并不等于说这些词广泛适用。有些时候这些词过于抽象，读者得不到较切实的印象。拿"Miss Wu had great success in her study"这句化来说，"Miss Wu reached the top ladder of her study"就比它形象具体得多了。我们不说"We go to great length of serving customers with courtesy"，而说"We serve our cunstomers with a smile".

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\浅析留学文书的写作

近几年来，随着文书写作在留学申请中的重要性逐渐被大家认识，这样一个事实也渐渐浮出水面——一篇逻辑不通、语言混乱的申请信能使背景很强分数很高的申请者连一封录取信都拿不到，而一套精心制作、文采飞扬的申请材料能够使背景非常普通的申请者从数千名申请者中脱颖而出。

一般来讲，校方在申请高峰期每天要阅读数百名申请者的材料，平均下来，每套材料的阅读时间只有不到十分钟的时间，有的甚至更短。我们团队有几个人因为家离要申请的学校不远，因此他们自己申请的时候曾经亲自到过学校。每位老师面前都摆着半人高的申请材料，他们的阅读速度非常快，几分钟读完一篇，简单作些记号就换下一篇，只是偶尔被一些佳文所吸引。

说到吸引，这里有一个误区。有的申请者（包括他们本国申请者）认为只要能显得与众不同就能吸引校方的注意，因此挖空心思地使用一些很不得体的语句。曾经有一位法学院的申请者在申请信中第一句话就说”The first thing I need to do is to kill all lawyers”，这种“与众不同”的结果大家可想而知。

我们中国申请者在还有一个更容易犯的错误就是，总是试图在申请信中把生平的所有经历都囊括进去。我们不少朋友的申请信从自己呱呱坠地开始写起，小学中学大学作过什么事得过什么奖，一一罗列。看似内容很多，可通篇读完后阅读者留不下任何印象。其实申请信不是简历，也不是记叙文，而是建立在记叙上的议论文，记叙是说发生在你身上的事，议论指这些事给你带来的影响和你对这些影响的看法。全文应该非常主观，这也是你向校方表达你主观想法的最好的（如果不是唯一的）机会，那些客观的部分请交给申请材料中的其他内容（如成绩单、简历等）来表达。就好象我们家里用菜刀切菜，刀刃磨得再快但如果离开了沉重的刀背切不了菜，反过来刀背再厚实但如果没有锋利的刀刃还是没法用。在这个例子中，申请信是刀刃，其他客观材料就是刀背。

话说回来，那怎样才能吸引来校方的注意力并使其持续保持呢？方法就是使校方阅读者产生心灵上的共鸣，使其觉得阅读你的文章是一种享受，其实这也是留学文书写作的高境界。我们可以分两步来做，第一步，选好要说的；第二步，说好所选的。

说到写作素材的选择， 大家会面临两种情况，有的朋友会觉得自己想说的事太多了，按照学校规定的篇幅根本就写不下，还有的朋友认为自己很平凡很普通，根本就没什么可说的。先说第一种情况，首先，有的学校对申请材料特别是PS在篇幅上有限制，即使没有篇幅限制，洋洋洒洒数千字的文章只会使本来就头昏脑胀的校方阅读者的眉头皱得更紧。其次，文章的重点应该是事件对你产生的影响和你对此的看法，而不是那些事件本身，明白这点后，你对篇幅限制的那种紧迫感就会大为减少，剩下的问题就只是怎么安排先后和主次。第二种情况更为普遍一些，很多朋友第一次写申请信的时候觉得根本就无话可说，无从下笔。解决这个问题又要分两步，第一问问自己想通过文章向校方树立什么样的形象，第二找到合适的切入点，再延伸开来一点一滴的把这个形象树立起来。在睿智联合的笔下，每个申请者，哪怕其背景再普通再单纯，都是对事业充满理想和报负、对生活充满激情和感触的独特个体。这种理想和激情都是真实存在的，也许朋友们自己感觉不到，但是我们能挖掘出来。

选好要说什么后，怎么将其说好呢，这就是语言层面的问题了。 正如前文所说，一套真正优秀的留学文书能够打动校方阅读者，使其产生一种共鸣。但这并不是说要把文章写得悲悲切切，尽说些不幸的遭遇，以博取读者的同情。我们所追求的这种“共鸣”实际上是指读者对全文逻辑性和合理性的一种认可，就好象我们在读小说的时候那种“会心”的感觉。但是大家不得不承认，英语为非母语的作者要做到这点非常困难，就好象反过来，老外用中文讲笑话我们怎么都不觉得逗。一篇文章如果无法使读者产生“会心”的感觉，充其量只能算是作者思想的载体，是死的，而真正的好文章是活的，因为其既是思想又是感情的载体。而对于那些英语为母语的作者而言，这个问题就迎刃而解了。相同的成长环境，相似的教育背景，相近的人生价值取向，自然而然地就使文章产生了“西方人与西方人之间的共鸣”。

gt_renUID：154429

good

bioliwuUID：142875

谢谢了！

顶

outwitUID：2125096

很有帮助
many thanks

用户名已被注册UID：2132330

以前看过一个朋友的PS，后来去牛津了，也没觉得有什么特别啊。天天想怎么写怎么写，头都大了。