issue48 【7\8\9\10】第二次作业 希望大家多来一起交流下哈！

1001storyUID：2516918

ISSUE48 - "The study of history places too much emphasis on individuals. The most significant events and trends in history were made possible not by the famous few, but by groups of people whose identities have long been forgotten."
WORDS: 599
Were the most significant events and trends in history made possible by the famous individuals and not the groups of people whose identities have long been forgotten?Giving a hasty reply like "Yes" or "No" is at stake,oversimpliyies this issue and conceals the intesting connotation far above who is the maker.
  A few individuals do contribute a lot in siginificant events even sometimes play a key role in the attainments, such point of view occupied our mind for a long time. I concede that when we refer to the renaissance painters in Europe during the medieval period, Michaelongelo and Leonardo Da Vinci always came into our mind immediately,because of their excellent achivements in this realm; when we came to the discussion about the great names in the physics, Albert Einstein and Issac Netwon are always the first canditates, because of their foundational status in this field.Thomas Carlyle (1795 ­— 1881) , a Scottish essayist, satirist, and historian, whose work was highly influential during the Victorian era, once side (and I paraphrase): "The world history is just the biographies of the famous few. " This illustrates the point that the destiny of the human beings is in the grip of the famous individuals. But with the more resources of history available, this viewpoint is more contraversail.
  The great man theroy, today, is out of date as the singular explanation for why things happen. Historiants look at other factors such as the economic, societal, techonolgical and enviromental which is just as or more significant to historical change. Historiants belive that a history which only follows the significant person, especially they standing in a political status,is a shallow view of the past, ignoring the entire goup of people as the part of the history. In fact, the early historiants in the 1950's who studied the prehistorial Europe shifed their focus on the political and social elite, which group  maintain more than ninety percent of the records chronicled by contemporaries, to the large numbers in the society. Historiants can only base on the limited resources: birth, marriage, and death records. However, the descendants of them never give up this tantanic project and make more efforts to study the populace instead of individuals. Let's bring our discussion here to a more present and practical context, it can be given a concrete example: The historiants in Russia, researching the early historic details in their nation, began to take the masterpieces of Leo Tolstoy（1828-1910）, such as "War and Peace" and " Anna Karenina"which are vivid depictions of Russian life in 19thcentury, at the very peak of realist fiction。
  Finally,in this era of rapid social and technological change, the users of the internet has altered the essence of this informational history, controling the mass media and building a totally new democratic society on the net. Therefore,this tendency has led us to an epoch that common people can influence our world more easily. In 2006,all of the internet users defeated the American president George W. Bush and current President of theIslamic Republic of Iran  Mahmoud Ahmadinejad ,winning the honor of the " Person of The Year" of TIME. Wikipedia, YouTube, MySpace established by the users, present the upsurge of originative website. So I argue that history in the future will place much emphasis on the masses, who are the creators of our history.
  In conclusion, we can never forget the factor that it is the group effort that made the difference during the process of the history. Any ignorance of the people's history or trampling    over masses may narrow the view of the history study.

前一次段落有点没分好，大家辛苦了哦？
我发现自己例子中的名字，下次就又不会拼了。

zhuzhuorUID：2452739

Were the most significant events and trends in history made possible by the famous individuals and not the groups of people whose identities have long been forgotten?Giving a hasty reply like "Yes" or "No" is at stake,oversimpliyies this issue and conceals the intesting connotation far above who is the maker.
(段与段之间空一行，开头不空格)
  A few individuals do contribute a lot in siginificant events even sometimes(and sometimes even) play a key role in the attainments,(换破折号好不好..前后两句没有连接词啊) such point of view occupied our mind for a long time. I concede that when we refer to the renaissance painters in Europe during the medieval period, Michaelongelo and Leonardo Da Vinci always came into our mind immediately,because of their excellent achivements in this realm; when we came to the discussion about the great names in the physics, Albert Einstein and Issac Netwon are always the first canditates, because of their foundational status in this field.Thomas Carlyle (1795 ­— 1881) , a Scottish essayist, satirist, and historian, whose work was highly influential during the Victorian era, once side(said) (and I paraphrase): "The world history is just the biographies of the famous few." This illustrates the point that the destiny of the human beings is in the grip(?) of the famous individuals. But with the more resources of history available, this viewpoint is more contraversail.

  The great man theroy, today, is out of date as the singular explanation for why things happen. Historiants look at other factors such as the economic, societal, techonolgical and enviromental which is(are) just as or more significant to historical change. Historiants belive that a history which only follows the significant person, especially they standing in a political status,is a shallow view of the past, ignoring the entire goup of people as the part of the history. In fact, the early historiants in the 1950's who studied the prehistorial Europe shifed(shifted) their focus on the political and social elite, which group maintain more than ninety percent of the records chronicled by contemporaries, to the large numbers in the society. Historiants can only base on the limited resources: birth, marriage, and death records. However, the descendants of them never give up this tantanic project and make more efforts to study the populace instead of individuals. Let's bring our discussion here to a more present and practical context, it can be given a concrete example: The historiants in Russia, researching the early historic details in their nation, began to take the masterpieces of Leo Tolstoy（1828-1910）, such as "War and Peace" and " Anna Karenina"which are vivid depictions of Russian life in 19th century, at the very peak of realist fiction.

  Finally,in this era of rapid social and technological change, the users of the internet(Internet) has altered the essence of this informational history, controling the mass media and building a totally new democratic society on the net. Therefore,this tendency has led us to an epoch that common people can influence our world more easily. In 2006,all of the internet users defeated the American president George W. Bush and current President of theIslamic Republic of Iran  Mahmoud Ahmadinejad ,winning the honor of the " Person of The Year" of TIME. Wikipedia, YouTube, MySpace established by the users, present the upsurge of originative website. So I argue that history in the future will place much emphasis on the masses, who are the creators of our history.

  In conclusion, we can never forget the factor that it is the group effort that made the difference during the process of the history. Any ignorance of the people's history or trampling over masses may narrow the view of the history study.

作为昨天你帮我改的回礼，我今天也来帮你看看
语言比我丰富多了，也比我之前改的那几个人好多了-__-(只是陈述事实)
提个小的建议，如果每段的主题句能再明晰一点就好了，批改的老师也许没有那么多时间去仔细阅读你的文章

另外，最关键的是，我和你对这个题目的理解貌似有偏差
有位大牛说，这dual claims第二个才是关键，就像你写的这样，全文主要论述的是who creat the history
可是我自己的理解是，第一句话研究历史过多关注名人才是重点：
过多的关注名人->我们应该多关注人民群众的力量->为什么呢->因为是人民创造了历史
我是这样理解题目的，所以后半句是前半句的一个补充说明，最终的目标还是要归结到是否应该关注名人这个点上
不知道你是怎么想的，如果群上不能讨论的话，直接给我QQ吧
PS，我觉得这作文考试思想才是最重要的，而且我第一次作业的文章就是破题不当完全跑题了

[ 本帖最后由 zhuzhuor 于 2008-7-24 09:02 编辑 ]

1001storyUID：2516918

我的提纲是:我是同意作者的观点认为是民众创造历史
1.伟人确实对社会又影响,所以人们关注研究伟人的历史
2.研究伟人的历史已经过时,现在人们更关注大众在历史中的作用.
3.我认为现在人们已经开始更多的影响社会,使他们创造未来的历史,所以历史研究的趋势更是应该放在大众身上.