10.12 花花回归的第一次作业

arimidyUID: 2673973

When students graduated from high school, parents are always likely to send their children to the university. In the last 5 years, we all witnessed the increasing number of students who attained college. It has been widely accepted that getting university education is the most important factor for success. But at the same time, we also cannot deny that the employment rate is decreasing as more and more graduates rushing into the society and searching for a satisfactory job. So it comes to the problem whether university education is so essential for success. In my eyes, it is true that getting university education helps people to gain success, but whether it is the most important factor really depends.

To begin with, university education helps us to enhance people’s knowledge and at the same time, broaden it. Before children go to college, the knowledge they have got from school is what we called basics, which is far from the one we can apply. From getting university education, students are taught in expertise, and colleges always provide certain courses in which students can practice their learning and try to apply it freely. Also, as the college acts as a small society, it also offers students the chance and the time to be well prepared for the life after graduation. In 4-years study, obviously the score is not the only factor students must focus on, they also should spend time on dealing with interpersonal problems and learn to be a person who is popular in society. So with the knowledge both in academics and in interpersonal relation, we would get a higher rate to be succeeded without doubt.

However, what we shouldn’t neglect is that there are reasons why we cannot fully depend on university education for success. For example, compared with a high-level education, some people prefer to gain experience more. Nowadays, employers draw more attention on hand-on ability instead of a high degree. Also, as the tendency of attending university goes on, there exists some college students who are not that qualified for education at such a level. As a result, there are many graduates who are highly educated but in low capacity. So is university education that important? Is there anything else we can rely on for success? Sometimes, abundant experience in certain field is more expected to those employers. Sometimes, perfect achievement such as a paper published in a core journal is more welcomed.

To draw a conclusion, university education do provide knowledge which is unique and useful, it is important not only for success but also for our better future. However, we cannot define college education as the most important factor as there are many other factors which affect the effect education brings to people’s success.

LRXSSUID: 2695903

When students graduated from high school, parents are always likely to send their children to the university. In the last 5 years, we all witnessed the increasing number of students who attained college. It has been widely accepted that getting university education is the most important factor for success. But at the same time, we also cannot deny that the employment rate is decreasing as more and more graduates rushing into the society and searching for a satisfactory job. So it comes to the problem whether university education is so essential for success. In my eyes, it is true that getting university education helps people to gain success, but whether it is the most important factor really depends.. U% K+ v2 W7 w9 N. c. W
额  感觉开头有点长了 觉得大学生扩招导致就业压力的那些可以不写
To begin with, university education helps us to enhance people’s knowledge and at the same time, broaden it. Before children go to college, the knowledge they have got from school is what we called basics, which is far from the one we can apply. From getting university education, students are taught in expertise, and colleges always provide certain courses in which students can practice their learning and try to apply it freely. Also, as the college acts as a small society, it also offers students the chance and the time to be well prepared for the life after graduation. In 4-years study, obviously the score is not the only factor students must focus on, they also should spend time on dealing with interpersonal problems and learn to be a person who is popular in society. So with the knowledge both in academics and in interpersonal relation, we would get a higher rate to be succeeded without doubt.6 k+ g- B- t1 d. \7 @" m$ s

However, what we shouldn’t neglect is that there are reasons why we cannot fully depend on university education for success. For example, compared with a high-level education, some people prefer to gain experience more. Nowadays, employers draw more attention on hand-on ability instead of a high degree 应该用 high scores把. Also, as the tendency of attending university goes on, there exists some college students who are not that qualified for education at such a level. As a result, there are many graduates who are highly educated but in low capacity. So is university education that important? Is there anything else we can rely on for success? Sometimes, abundant experience in certain field is more expected to those employers. Sometimes, perfect achievement such as a paper published in a core journal is more welcomed.

s. R( y
To draw a conclusion, university education do provide knowledge which is unique and useful, it is important not only for success but also for our better future. However, we cannot define college education as the most important factor as there are many other factors which affect the effect education 反了吧brings to people’s success.

语言流畅  语法相当好  内容也不错   学习了

fish1044UID: 2190500

    When students graduated from high school, parents are always likely to send their children to the university. In the last 5 years, we all witnessed the increasing number of students who attained college. It has been widely accepted that getting university education is the most important factor for success. But at the same time, we also cannot deny that the employment rate is decreasing as more and more graduates rushing into the society and searching for a satisfactory job. So it comes to the problem whether university education is so essential for success. In my eyes, it is true that getting university education helps people to gain success, but whether it is the most important factor really depends./ W. j  F" d% b


To begin with, university education helps us to enhance people’s knowledge and at the same time, broaden it. Before children go to college, the knowledge they have got from school is what we called basics, which is far from the one we can apply. From getting university education, students are taught in expertise, and colleges always provide certain courses in which students can practice their learning and try to apply it freely. Also, as the college acts as a small society, it also offers students the chance and the time to be well prepared for the life after graduation. In 4-years(不需要s) study, obviously the score is not the only factor students must focus on, they also should spend time on dealing with interpersonal problems and learn to be a person who is popular in society.(这句话转折有点突兀) So with the knowledge both in academics and in interpersonal relation, we would get a higher rate to be succeeded without doubt.



However, what we shouldn’t neglect is that there are reasons why we cannot fully depend on university education for success. For example, compared with a high-level education, some people prefer to gain experience more. Nowadays, employers draw more attention on hand-on ability instead of a high degree. Also, as the tendency of attending university goes on, there exists some college students who are not that qualified for education at such a level. As a result, there are many graduates who are highly educated but in low capacity(highly educated不会in low capticity吧，前者就是受过良好教育的意思). So is university education that important? Is there anything else we can rely on for(to) success? Sometimes, abundant experience in certain field is more expected to those employers. Sometimes, perfect achievement such as a paper published in a core journal is more welcomed(工作经验不用通过大学实现，但是发论文到核心期刊需要专业的知识培训，这个应该是支持上大学的依据啊).



To draw a conclusion, university education do provide knowledge which is unique and useful, it is important not only for success but also for our better future. However, we cannot define college education as the most important factor as there are many other factors which affect the effect education brings to people’s success.

文章完整性很强，几乎就没有语法错误，让人读起来很舒服。
文章结构很好，给出的两点理由也也有说服力。但是展开的时候没有说清楚，部分例子感觉不够贴切。

joyceliuUID: 2477232

When students graduated from high school, parents are always likely to send their children to the university. In the last 5 years, we all witnessed the increasing number of students who attained college. It has been widely accepted that getting university education is the most important factor for success. But at the same time, we also cannot deny that the employment rate is decreasing as more and more graduates rushing into the society and searching for a satisfactory job. So it comes to the problem whether university education is so essential for success. In my eyes, it is true that getting university education helps people to gain success, but whether it is the most important factor really depends.

To begin with, university education helps us to enhance people’s knowledge and at the same time, broaden it. Before children go to college, the knowledge they have got from school is what we called basics, which is far from the one we can apply. From getting university education, students are taught in expertise(to be specialized), and colleges always provide certain courses in which students can practice their learning and try to apply it freely. Also, as the college acts as a small society, it also offers students the chance and the time to be well prepared for the life after graduation. In 4-years study, obviously the score is not the only factor students must focus on, they also should spend time on dealing with interpersonal problems and learn to be a person who is popular in society. So with the knowledge both in academics and in interpersonal relation, we would get a higher rate to be succeeded without doubt.

However, what we shouldn’t neglect is that there are reasons why we cannot fully depend on university education for success. For example, compared with a high-level education, some people prefer to gain experience more. Nowadays, employers draw more attention on hand-on ability instead of a high degree. Also, as the tendency of attending university goes on, there exists some college students who are not that qualified for education at such a level. As a result, there are many graduates who are highly educated but in low capacity. So is university education that important? Is there anything else we can rely on for success? Sometimes, abundant experience in certain field is more expected to those employers. Sometimes, perfect achievement such as a paper published in a core journal is more welcomed.

To draw a conclusion, university education do provide knowledge which is unique and useful, it is important not only for success but also for our better future. However, we cannot define college education as the most important factor as there are many other factors which affect the effect education brings to people’s success.

joyceliuUID: 2477232

感觉没什么可改的，写的很流畅。有一点，就是首段是不是太长了，考场上好像没那么多时间啊

arimidyUID: 2673973

10.13

When chatting with friends, I always hear them complaining about the relationship between their parents and themselves. They are saying that parents cannot understand them well and they are easily getting impatient when talking with their parents. Meanwhile, parents on the other side also find it difficult to communicate with their children. As a result, some people raise the opinion that parents do not understand their children as well today as 50 years ago. As far as I am concerned, I have to state that the understanding between parents and their children has become harder and harder as the development of the world goes on.

To begin with, as time goes by, many customs that children had to obey 50 years ago are missing. For instance, in the past, children shouldn’t start eating until their parents finished. Children shouldn’t contradict parents’ saying as well, otherwise they would be regarded undutiful sons and daughters. It is obvious that parents used to be respected quite highly. Nowadays, parents are undoubtedly losing their place. We have been familiar with circumstances such as the fiery argument between parents and children. What’s worse, these mums and dads also find their own children are more and more out of their control. When parents have less time spending with their children, how can they dare to say that they understand their children well?

What’s more, there are many factors which attract children today and make them away from their parents. In the past, children would sit around their mum to listen an interesting story; children would be pleasant hearing the adventure their dad experienced when he was out. For those boys and girls, their parents are the only way they could get to know the world. But as the world is all developing, we own the computer, which can link the world simply by the Internet; we own the television, which includes news both domestic and abroad. As a result, the communication between children and parents decreases, so does the understanding between the two.

Last but not least, the workforce our parents are taking today is much higher than the one before 50 years. Aiming to live a better life in the future, parents force themselves to work hard, usually they would have to work overtime in order to survive in the competitive society. As time is limiting, the time of sharing happiness with his/her family become less, and it would surely lead to their children’s misunderstanding. So parents are always helpless seeing their children go outside, spend more time chatting with friends, and care less about their family.

To sum up, the difficulty of understanding is a tough issue as it is not a problem between parents and children, the changing world also plays an important role in it. So my conclusion is that it is true that parents today don’t understand children as well as 50 years ago, but if the world can change toward a positive direction, the relationship can be eased.

LeviathaZUID: 2456472

When chatting with friends, I always hear them complaining about the relationship between their parents and themselves. They are saying that parents cannot understand them well and they are easily getting impatient when talking with their parents. Meanwhile, parents on the other side also find it difficult to communicate with their children. As a result, some people raise the opinion that parents do not understand their children as well today as 50 years ago. As far as I am concerned, I have to state that the understanding between parents and their children has become harder and harder as the development of the world goes on.（开头的hook用的很自然啊，但是感觉有点长，来得及写吗？）

$ O. p4 D+ J' Z  h2 `
To begin with, as time goes by, many customs that children had to obey(这用法没见过，词有点chinglish的感觉，retain custom吧) 50 years ago are missing. For instance, in the past, children shouldn’t start eating until their parents finished. Children shouldn’t contradict parents’ saying as well, otherwise they would be regarded undutiful sons and daughters. It is obvious that parents used to be respected quite highly. Nowadays, parents are undoubtedly losing their place. We have been familiar with circumstances such as the fiery argument between parents and children. What’s worse, these mums and dads also find their own children are more and more out of their control. When parents have less time spending with their children, how can they dare to say that they understand their children well? （最后一句结尾不明确，虽然不守旧俗导致孩子脱离了父母控制，不代表父母和孩子在一起的时间会变少啊，有些小孩天天每天回家但是父母依然管不到，这个是因关系恶劣而导致交流太少问题吧；并且，如果在五十年前，守着那些旧俗，父母就更加了解孩子了么？）

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What’s more, there are many factors which attract children today and make them away from their parents. In the past, children would sit around their mum to listen an interesting story; children would be pleasant hearing the adventure their dad experienced when he was out. For those boys and girls, their parents are the only way they could get to know the world. But as the world is all developing, we own the computer, which can link the world simply by the Internet; we own the television, which includes news both domestic and abroad. As a result, the communication between children and parents decreases, so does the understanding between the two.（前面的细节说的很好，不过说parents are the only way for them to know the world的时候可以更点明一下，是父母和小孩的这种亲密关系，导致父母更容易得到小孩的信任，进而有机会了解小孩，然后再说到现在的高科技的发展淡薄了这层关系，导致交流减少）

Last but not least, the workforce（是要表达劳动强度吗？workforce好像只有劳动力的意思……我不确定，不过换个说法说work over time more often应该也可以吧） our parents are taking today is much higher than the one before 50 years. Aiming to live a better life in the future, parents force themselves to work hard, and usually they would have to work overtime in order to survive in the competitive society（两个句子没连词了）. As time is limiting, the time of sharing happiness with his/her family become less, and it would surely lead to their children’s misunderstanding（这个surely有点……说导致小孩没安全感如何？）. So parents are always helpless seeing their children go outside, spend more time chatting with friends, and care less about their family.

To sum up, the difficulty of understanding is a tough issue as it is not only a problem between parents and children, the changing world also plays an important role in it. So my conclusion is that it is true that parents today don’t understand children as well as 50 years ago, but if the world can change toward a positive direction, the relationship can be eased.（这个结论感觉还是有点牵强，社会发展毕竟是个客观原因，如果把原因都推到社会上的话，理由还是不够充分，至少要说，虽然父母努力和孩子沟通，但因为社会原因，失败了，所以……比较好吧。）

PS：语言非常好，细节很赞，好羡慕呀，能加强下文章内部逻辑就更好了：D

我是chineseladyUID: 2662783

When chatting with friends, I always hear them complaining about the relationship between their parents and themselves. They are saying that parents cannot understand them well and they are easily getting impatient when talking with their parents.哎太不孝顺了..谁啊都? Meanwhile, parents on the other side also find it difficult to communicate with their children. As a result, some people raise the opinion好 that parents do not understand their children as well today as 50 years ago. As far as I am concerned, I have to state that the understanding between parents and their children has become harder and harder as the development of the world goes on.

To begin with, as time goes by, many traditional customs that children had to obey 50 years ago are missing. For instance, in the past, children shouldn’t start eating until their parents finished (dinner). Children shouldn’t contradict parents’ saying as well, otherwise they would be regarded undutiful sons and daughters. It is obvious that parents used to be respected quite highly. Nowadays, parents are undoubtedly losing their place.( i dont think so) We have been familiar with circumstances such as the fiery argument between parents and children.这里过于绝对. What’s worse, these mums and dads also find their own children are more and more out of their control不如说education方面不好教育的. When parents have less time spending with their children, how can they dare to say that they understand their children well?貌似前后逻辑不通

What’s more, there are many factors which attract children today and make them away from their parents. In the past, children would sit around their mum to listen (to) an interesting story; children would be pleasant hearing the adventure their dad experienced when he was out. For those boys and girls, their parents are the only way they could get to know the world. But as the world is all developing, we own the computer, which can link the world simply by the Internet; we own the television, which includes news both domestic and abroad. As a result, the communication between children and parents decreases, so does the understanding between the two.语法不错

Last but not least, the workforce our parents are taking today is much higher than the one before 50 years. Aiming to live->for a better life in the future, parents force themselves to work hard观点多少绝对点, usually they would have to work overtime in order to survive in the competitive society. As time is limiting, the time of sharing happiness with his/her family become less, and it would surely lead to their children’s misunderstanding. So parents are always helpless seeing their children go outside, spend more time chatting with friends, and care less about their family.说的怎么像是我初中时期..?你朋友现在还这样不成熟...

To sum up, the difficulty of understanding is a tough issue as it is not a problem between parents and children, the changing world also plays an important role in it. So my conclusion is that it is true that parents today don’t understand children as well as 50 years ago, but if the world can change toward a positive direction, the relationship can be eased.读起来是比较顺的, 没有奇怪的词汇和句型. 文章很长的说, 很赞!貌似有些长句可以简化写.前面观点有点绝对