不知道为什么写得很没脑袋 大家给我看看 是不是不能够自觉地使用连词导致的呢

neospaUID: 2683034

TOPIC: ISSUE208 - "The way people look, dress, and act reveals their attitudes and interests. You can tell much about a society's ideas and values by observing the appearance and behavior of its people."
WORDS: 666          TIME: 00:51:26          DATE: 2010-5-29 14:52:48
   
A society,especially a liberated county,such as United States of America,people share a kind of prosepct that the way the society members apperance as well as where their interests lies imply something people's inside.They abide in a kind of belief that this kind of insight may give the other people a direct sense of what his or her vlaue system and inside heart is.On a larger scale,this kind of opinon can be concluded into the  following statement ,that is,You ca tell much about a society's ideas and values by obsering the appearance and behavior of its people.
   
   
   
   
In my eyes,this statement has quite a lot of instuction significance on the way to look into a society as well as its members.As lots of historians has studied,the garments of women in western countries,espicailly the America , reveals a some kind of advancement in the last century.When looking at the photos token in the nineteen 40's on a beach ,you will find that women at that time,their swimming suits covered 80 percent of their skin,while,toady,no more than 20.That is to say,when people,become more open to this kind behaviour of showing oneself  to the public,their suits become smaller even disappeared.Also this kind of change is due to another reason,the feminist movement,which helped the entire human have a new diea of what the women's role plays to the world,and this kind of wake up can be seen just through the dressing of women. Another change to the Americans is that people are focused more on enjoying good life and sex,rather than only hard working as what their fathers has done everyday,since the V-day.After the world war two,people come to realize that the precious and valueable is at the same time so fragile and short.This kind of attitude toward life can been better understood when the youth of the coutry addicted to drugs,while mid-aged people prefer alcohol.  This facts shows that we kind tell a lot about the ideas and values of the society.
   
   
However,in some special societies  such as the Arabian and some sepcial period of time of a society like the China in 1966 to 1976 ,when the culture revlution is on the stage,this kind of judgement may be quite unaccurate.Since,in this two societies people are in a status of abnormal psychological ,which appeas as they do the opposite thing to what they really think and believe.Women in Arabian were forced to wear the black keffiyeh,while inner heart,they are hot and open also quite  welcoming to the people around the world.Same things happend in China 4 dacades ago,people are obliged to wear the same color,and are order to say the leader's article which has no particular meaning to ordinary people.And the people were too frighten to show what they really attitude to the most tangible society,since once they want to give an iterperation to their different opinion let along the act on some issues,they are likely to be published ,even exucuted.Under this kind atomorsphore ,they way peole look dress and act can nether reveal their attitudes and interests.
   
   
   
On another very interesting example is the Diogenes,know as a cynical philospher.Diogenes is often talked by people all around the world is because of his weird,in many people's eyes,behaviour really appears like an cannie rather than a well-educated man with wisdom.He had sex and masturbate on the pulic and slept in a bucket.However Greek people love him and protect him.Even after Alexander the Great visited him,Alexander has said ,if i were not Alexander ,i would love to be Diogenes.Though the other citizens, including Alexander, in Greece did not do the same thing as Diogenes,they still got this kind of desire to be a man as free and as romantic as Diogenes.So,that is to say ,people though did not dress nothing on public nor act the same as the cynical philospher did,they share the same value and ideas to life and universe with the Diogenes.
   
   
   
In conlcude,in general the statement is true,while,if set it on particular people,time and society,it is not that accurate.



而且结尾我很闲荡  没有什么再点题

谢谢大家啦

江雪UID: 2790520

写得不好不是因为不会用连词 而是你的基础有很大的问题。简单说就是1）中式英语；2）介词使用不当；3）不能很好地区别词性 比如appear和appearance；4）不能很好地区别口语和书面语；5）没有掌握主谓一致这个语法点；6）基础不牢 很多拼写错误 如 have one's picture taken是对的 而不是token 后者是个名词。