寄托家园留学论坛

标题: 【Daily Writing作文特训小组】[樾悦 作文贴] [打印本页]

作者: 樾悦    时间: 2011-8-22 20:03:32     标题: 【Daily Writing作文特训小组】[樾悦 作文贴]

8.22    独立作文~
作者: 萝卜须根多    时间: 2011-8-23 13:36:18

已改
作者: yuqivickey    时间: 2011-8-23 15:54:36

已改
作者: 萝卜须根多    时间: 2011-8-23 16:35:17

对了,我刚查了下,due to后面不接句子的,我不太记得你怎么用的了,你注意下哈~加油~
作者: 樾悦    时间: 2011-8-23 20:01:10

那啥~   due to 后面是接的两个并列名词。。。
作者: 樾悦    时间: 2011-8-23 21:18:38

8.23   独立写作
作者: 樾悦    时间: 2011-8-24 15:21:14

8.24
作者: heather24    时间: 2011-8-24 16:06:04

已修改。
如果修改有问题,咱可以讨论~
作者: 小KUN虫    时间: 2011-8-24 16:55:12

顺便学习下思路
作者: zuragh    时间: 2011-8-24 17:43:36

8.23 独立 已修改[attach]170648[/attach]
作者: lyn7981    时间: 2011-8-25 12:50:02

8.24 Annie's 修改稿
作者: 樾悦    时间: 2011-8-25 18:07:24

这篇题目有点难~  8.25  互相学习啊~
作者: 超级猴子    时间: 2011-8-26 11:31:58

..
作者: xu8431    时间: 2011-8-27 00:54:28

825 改好了

[attach]170767[/attach]
作者: 樾悦    时间: 2011-8-27 21:42:58

8.27
作者: 樾悦    时间: 2011-8-29 16:00:54

8.29
作者: samuelandcarol    时间: 2011-8-30 19:43:11

本帖最后由 samuelandcarol 于 2011-8-30 19:44 编辑

8月29日 20100320NA有些人觉得他们可以靠自己或者家人的帮助,解决important problems.因此,人们不需要政府的帮助

Government, a considerable powerful organization that amid at guarantee the security of individuals and stability of our society, and plays an important role in every country. It is imprudent to say we can live without government just because we can deal with some problem by ourselves or depend on our family members, from my perspective.

Firstly, the ability of family members are limit(说的是概念上的能力话要用不可数). It is easy to solve the small matter by ourselves or with help of others, but when confronting the important problem things are different. For example, when some bad person invades and harasses your authority, government appears and constrains their conducts to guarantee your safety. However, if without government, another story(status) may happen. You may call on your family members to fight with them, causing a big loss at both sides. Thus, facing important problem that may threaten your safety, it is better to ask government for help.

Secondly, our public order needs government. How many of us can guarantee the safety of public equipment? How many of us are willing to build the public transportation? How many of us dare to stand out when two groups fight each other? 排比不错 At this moment, government emerges(这个说法中式了, 试下 interfere). Look back the serious earthquake in WenChuan, China, it is government who sent people to save the injured, and also the government who help to rebuild schools, houses and roads, without which(those) the circumstance in Wenchuan may pale. Therefore, the power of government can never be overestimate when a country confront the extremely hazard.(catastrophic 要更好些)

In addition, there are people who are disabled and people who have little(no) relatives, what can they do if without government's help? In my country, government spends lots of money to help those people who suffer from extraordinary poverty and dreadful starvation.这句漂亮 学习了 Some people who lost their ability to work get back hopes and dreams when they receive the help and our society become increasing hominy? due to the government.

Granted, sometimes we(去掉) it is better we(to) solve problems by ourselves since it is convenience(convenient) and can save money. It is a big mass ask for help to government to some extent(这句不太理解) because if everyone find government to help no matter what tiny difficulty(difficulties) they face to the government would become a full time nurser.(always be a public servant)  

All in all, I disagree with the statement that with the help of family member, government has no use for people at the time they face the important problem.这是个比较关系吧, 要说清楚, 建议 compare to obtain the helps from family member, people can solve important problem without government help


https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1300217-1-1.html

欢迎你来批改我的作文 谢谢同组成员了!
作者: 樾悦    时间: 2011-9-1 14:15:53

8.31
作者: 樾悦    时间: 2011-9-1 19:04:47

9.1  综合
作者: foreverendless    时间: 2011-9-1 20:25:51

8.31已修改
作者: 樾悦    时间: 2011-9-3 20:15:57

9.3  综合
作者: 宁夏zoe    时间: 2011-9-4 15:48:51

改好了
作者: 樾悦    时间: 2011-9-5 22:12:27

9.5  独立
作者: 永动鸡    时间: 2011-9-6 11:15:38

RE




欢迎光临 寄托家园留学论坛 (https://bbs.gter.net/) Powered by Discuz! X2