寄托天下
查看: 4836|回复: 30
打印 上一主题 下一主题

[作文] Daily Writing Camp-作文特训小组---笨鸟先飞飞 作文贴。加油加油加油! 我要hold住! [复制链接]

Rank: 2

声望
1
寄托币
149
注册时间
2011-8-29
精华
0
帖子
0
跳转到指定楼层
楼主
发表于 2011-8-29 19:02:22 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
8.29

有些人觉得他们可以靠自己或者家人的帮助,解决important problem 因此,人们不需要政府的帮助。

409-435
Some people tend to solve problems by themselves or family because they think they have enough ability to overcome the difficult problems. However, they fail to take into account the basic fact that there are many things out of our control so that we cannot solve these without others help and also without government help. As for me, I am in favor of the opinion that people need government help in order to solve problems better. My opinion can be strengthened by the following reasons:

First and foremost, government can provides a lot of amenities and facilities which person cannot supply such as health amenities or recreation facilities. There are many places especially residential area we can see that government constructs facilities in order to improve habitant health. Many kids and elders can use it in their spare time. These facilities can help them practice themselves and away from diseases. On the contrary, people cannot provide massive equipments by themselves or family because they have not enough money afford it. The assistant we got from government enable us live more convenience. No one can deny this basic fact that government plays an extremely important role in society also in our life.

What is more, government also can solve many problems of education. There is no denying that lots of universities have not sufficient funds to buy books and to construct building or update equipments. All of these need huge money and only government can do that. Government can call upon society people to sponsor donation to the universities which need help. And it also can create academic atmosphere inspiring student to learn knowledge. What ability of government is setting high standard, supporting teacher and principal, and turning around schools that are not working, where students are not getting the opportunities that they deserve. However, how can you imagine that a person can do it? Just a person cannot have great influence and he or she cannot make such great contribution to education.

Although people cannot solve a major of important problems of society they also can solve some personal problems such as emotion between the wife and husband or friends. There is no doubt that these solve by person will be better.

To sum up, in light of these, I would like to say that I personally disagree with the statement that people can solve important problem without government help. Despite people can solve some things by themselves or families. Its disadvantages far outweigh advantages. Because only one person ability is limited, he cannot do all things he expects to do. People need help and only government can provides best conditions to solve problems. Therefore, it is best choice to find some help from government.
回应
0

使用道具 举报

Rank: 4

声望
11
寄托币
695
注册时间
2011-2-8
精华
0
帖子
117
沙发
发表于 2011-8-29 20:39:26 |只看该作者
有作文互批小组吗

使用道具 举报

Rank: 2

声望
1
寄托币
149
注册时间
2011-8-29
精华
0
帖子
0
板凳
发表于 2011-8-30 19:46:32 |只看该作者
有作文互批小组吗
rjj21664264 发表于 2011-8-29 20:39


参加了呀 但是为神马木有人给我改呢~ 55555  难道是我水平太烂了么……

使用道具 举报

Rank: 3Rank: 3

声望
2
寄托币
460
注册时间
2009-8-26
精华
0
帖子
6
地板
发表于 2011-8-31 21:51:59 |只看该作者
buhaoyisi  gaiwanle~
附件: 你需要登录才可以下载或查看附件。没有帐号?立即注册

使用道具 举报

Rank: 2

声望
1
寄托币
149
注册时间
2011-8-29
精华
0
帖子
0
5
发表于 2011-9-7 08:32:35 |只看该作者
9.6独立

20090403NA Do you agree ordisagree with the following statement? The best way to improve the quality of education is to increase teacher’s salaries.


In the recent decades, people in growing number are beginning to realize that education plays an extremely important role in the development of society. How to improve the quality of education by efficient method tend to be a urgen question lelf the goveronment. As for me, I am in favor of the opinion that to improve the quality of education is a good way to increase teacher's salaries but not the best one. My opinion can be strengthened by the following reasons:

First and foremost, there is no doubt that increasing teacher's salaries can stimulate their positive attitude so that they will spend more energy into education or acadamic. The value of self-recognize will be developed by increasing salaries. For example, the university increase their teacher salaries and they found that more and more teachers are work hard than before, because they were not worried about the difficult of livelihood. Some of people do not need to find second extra-job in other school which may let them overtired and it pobably had bad effect to their quality of education. One reseatch conducted by the Beijing University demonstrates that about 60 perccent of teacher in China have to find extra-job due to the fact that the salary is not enough to maintain their live. In this case, it is apparent that increasing teacher's salaries can help them to sovle lots of difficulties so that they will have more energy focus on research or their students and the quality of education will be improved.

What is more, if goveronment increase the salaries of teacher career. More and more people will apply this job so that the competition between the employer will be severe. Therefore, the final employers who are be hired must be brilliant and excellent. These people definitely have more mutual teaching experience than other competitors and also have a widely of knowledge. Thus, the high quality of teacher can affects the high quality of education.

However, increasing teacher's salaries just a good way to improve the quality of education but not a best way. To increase the quality of equipments and to construct more building are also important. Students will use their knowledge into practice through equipments and will more concentrate on study by having comfortabl enviroment to study. Besides, the responsibility of government for setting high standards and supporting principals also are the indispensable factor to improve the quality of education.

To sum up, in light of these I would like to say that I personally disagree with the statement that the best way to improve the quality of education is to increase teacher's salaries, because other factors also should be taken into account such as renew the equipement and set high standard of diciplin.

使用道具 举报

Rank: 2

声望
0
寄托币
120
注册时间
2010-6-4
精华
0
帖子
1
6
发表于 2011-9-7 16:43:23 |只看该作者
9月6日
In the recent decades, people in growing number are beginning to realize that education plays an extremely important role in the development of society. How to improve the quality of education by ^an efficient method tend to be an urgent question lelf left to the goveronment government . As for me, I am in favor of the opinion that [url=]to improve the quality of education is a good way to increase teacher[/url]'s salaries[微软用户1] but not the best one. My opinion can be strengthened by the following reasons:* M/ H- V( e. l8 |



. l8 |
4 ^" |& X8 K, s
First and foremost, there is no doubt that increasing teacher's salaries can stimulate their positive attitude so that they will spend more energy [url=]into[/url][微软用户2] education or acadamic academic. The value of self-recognize will be developed by increasing salaries. [url=]For example, the university increases their teachers' salaries and they found that more and more teachers are working hard than before, because they were not worried about the difficulty of livelihood[/url][微软用户3] . Some of people do not need[url=] to find ^a second [/url][微软用户4] extra-job in other school which may [url=]let[/url][微软用户5] them overtired and [url=]it[/url][微软用户6] pobably probably had ^a bad effect to their quality of education. One reseatrch conducted by the Beijing University demonstrates that about 60 perccent of teachers in China have to find extra-job due to the fact that the salary is not enough to maintain their lives. In this case, it is apparent that increasing teacher's salaries can help them to sovle lots of difficulties so that they will have more energy ^to focus on researches or their students and the quality of education will be improved.
. A2 \" g! g6 o1 \2 ?4 H
, ]6 Q/ e6 T8 @$ F; _* ^/ z& S
What is more, if [url=]goveronment[/url][微软用户7] increases the salaries of teacher [url=]career[/url][微软用户8] . More and more people will apply ^for this job so that the competition between the employeres will be severe. Therefore, the final employeres who are be hired must be brilliant and excellent. These people definitely have more mutual teaching experience than other competitors and also have a widely of knowledge. Thus, the high quality of teacher can [url=]affects the high[/url][微软用户9] quality of education.
+ z6 r9 F! v7 J1 D
[url=]However, increasing teacher's salaries ^is just a good way to improve the quality of education but not a the best way. [/url][url=]To increase[/url][微软用户10] the quality of equipments and [url=]to construct[/url][微软用户11] more buildings are also important. Students will use their knowledge into practice through equipments and will more concentrate on study by having comfortabl enviroment to study. Besides, [url=]the responsibility of government for setting high standards and supporting principals [/url][微软用户12] also are the indispensable factors to improve the quality of education.[微软用户13]
0 `# N: T* g/ J" Z2 P
1 p0 _' i, H3 l* L9 m
To sum up, in light of these I would like to say that I personally disagree with the statement that the best way to improve the quality of education is to increase teacher's salaries, because other factors also should be taken into account such as renew the equipement and set high standard of [url=]diciplin[/url]

[微软用户14] .


[微软用户1]写反了吧。应该是 increasing teacher's salaries is a good way to improve the quality of education.



[微软用户2] 固定搭配 spend on



[微软用户3]时态混乱。Increase, found, are, were.



[微软用户4] 去掉后 an 感觉更好



[微软用户5] Make let 好吧。



[微软用户6]不去掉it的话 it 指代的应该是 people do not need extra-job 后面就应该是有好的效果了。



[微软用户7]这个单词错2遍了。



[微软用户8]感觉不用加这个词



[微软用户9]Promote the



[微软用户10]Increasing 感觉应该用动名词做主语。不定式作主语有种 将要的感觉



[微软用户11]constructing



[微软用户12]没明白是什么



[微软用户13]这段整体举了一些其他的方法对于提高教育质量很关键,但是没有证明比提高工资更有效。



[微软用户14] discipline




自己语言也不好。不会帮你修饰句子。只能改些基本的错误:handshake 一起加油

使用道具 举报

Rank: 2

声望
0
寄托币
120
注册时间
2010-6-4
精华
0
帖子
1
7
发表于 2011-9-7 16:45:14 |只看该作者
[url=]和[/url]之间是标注范围。在word上copy过来回复前还是下划线的。回复完就成这种代码了。

使用道具 举报

Rank: 3Rank: 3

声望
4
寄托币
186
注册时间
2007-3-13
精华
0
帖子
10
8
发表于 2011-9-7 19:04:50 |只看该作者
改  (呵呵,稍微晚了点)
附件: 你需要登录才可以下载或查看附件。没有帐号?立即注册

使用道具 举报

Rank: 9Rank: 9Rank: 9

声望
1309
寄托币
29127
注册时间
2008-12-4
精华
8
帖子
1142

Golden Apple 荣誉版主 IBT Zeal IBT Smart IBT Elegance 备考先锋

9
发表于 2011-9-7 22:16:54 |只看该作者
Some people tend to solve problems by themselves or family because they think they have enough ability to overcome the difficult problems. However, they fail to take into account (concider )the basic fact that there are many things out of our control so that we cannot solve these without others help and also without government help. 主题句不能朋友和家人的帮助解决问题,有些事情非得政府出面才能解决。As for me, I am in favor of the opinion that people need government help in order to solve problems better. My opinion can be strengthened by the following reasons:4 G! {+ v' {# V

First and foremost, government can provides a lot of amenities and facilities which person cannot supply such as health amenities or recreation facilities. There are many places especially residential area we can see that government constructs facilities in order to improve habitant health. Many kids and elders can use it in their spare time. These facilities can help them practice themselves and away from diseases. On the contrary, people cannot provide massive equipments by themselves or family because they have not enough money afford it. The assistant we got from government enable us live more convenience. No one can deny this basic fact that government plays an extremely important role in society also in our life.



u# C7 P! y+ z( l7 T
What is more, government also can solve many problems of education. 教育怎么和个人important problems 联系在一起?There is no denying that lots of universities have not sufficient funds to buy books and to construct building or update equipments. All of these need huge money and only government can do that. Government can call upon society people to sponsor donation to the universities which need help. And it also can create academic atmosphere inspiring student to learn knowledge. What ability of government is setting high standard, supporting teacher and principal, and turning around schools that are not working, where students are not getting the opportunities that they deserve. However, how can you imagine that a person can do it? Just a person cannot have great influence and he or she cannot make such great contribution to education.



Although people cannot solve a major of important problems of society they also can solve some personal problems such as emotion between the wife and husband(couples) or friends. There is no doubt that these solve by person will be better??要表达什么意思.% Z4 z& o1 p& R5 ^5 \# j
8 v: G% w& ]' p- N0 P
To sum up, in light of these, I would like to say that I personally disagree with 赘余,选其一就好了the statement that people can solve important problem without government help. Despite people can solve some things by themselves or families. Its disadvantages far outweigh advantages. Because only one person ability is limited, he cannot do all things he expects to do. People need help and only government can provides best conditions to solve problems. Therefore, it is best choice to find some help from government

使用道具 举报

Rank: 2

声望
1
寄托币
149
注册时间
2011-8-29
精华
0
帖子
0
10
发表于 2011-9-8 08:38:56 |只看该作者
本帖最后由 samuelandcarol 于 2011-9-8 08:40 编辑

9.7

More and more people spend too much money on their pet (dogs, cats and others), although there are better uses for these money. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer

536
It is individual's right depend on what to do that they are enjoy. Many people tend to have favorable attitude toward yang pet. They love animals and treat their pet as children. Therefore they love to spend much money on them no matter make up or cure disease. As for me, I am in favor of the opinion that the behavior of people spend too much money on their pet such as dogs, cats and others dose not wrong. My opinion can be strengthened by the following reasons:

First and foremost, pets can bring happiness to us. No one can deny the basic fact that those pets are friendly to human and always make harmony atmosphere in the family, so that people are willing afford money to take care of them even too much money. Because they not only are pets but also are friend to us. My uncle have a dog which is so smart. He helps my uncle look after his little daughter when my uncle go out for a while. They have deep relationship with each othey. I was admair that I also want a pet for my own. And one day, my mother tooks a little kitten to me, I was excited and from then on, I clean its place and care about they growing everyday as if I was their mother. Although I spend a lot of money to buy a variety of cat food and beautiful necessaries for them, I was enjoy the day with them. The happiness and sense of satisfiction are far overcome the money I spend on them. The kitten just like a member of my family. There is no doubt that I love it so much, thus there are many people who have pet like I do will spare no effort to take care of them.

What is more, another factor should be taken into account is that the pet plays an extremely important role to some people who live alone even to some people who are physical disability. There is a true story which happend in Japan, a dog named little Q help his host to live about decade, because his host are blind. The loyal dog accompanies his host walk outside and back to home from day to day also helps him overcome lots of difficulties such as directing the way and protect him in dangerous situations. It is a moving story, people in growing number are beginning realize that pets have indispensable significance to human. One research conducted by the Beijing University demonstrates that about 70 percent people are thought pets are more likely to be companions to people in mentally. Therefore, it is usually spend too much money to raise pets, more and more people are willing to pay for it in order to achieve the sense of warm or safty or some thers.

To sum up, in light of these I would like to say that people spend too much money on their pets should not be critisized. Everyone have their personal interests or needs, if they think their pets can bring them more happiness and enjoyable time then nothing with wrong to spend money on them, because it is worthy.

使用道具 举报

Rank: 5Rank: 5

声望
15
寄托币
1116
注册时间
2011-7-8
精华
0
帖子
4
11
发表于 2011-9-8 12:57:47 |只看该作者
我一会儿给你传过来改好的作文哈~
https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1292096-2-1.html
这是我的作文……很差劲的……请拍砖
冷暖自知,童话换一个角度发生

使用道具 举报

Rank: 5Rank: 5

声望
15
寄托币
1116
注册时间
2011-7-8
精华
0
帖子
4
12
发表于 2011-9-8 14:28:36 |只看该作者
改好了~!!!!请不要大意地继续加油吧吧吧吧~!!!
附件: 你需要登录才可以下载或查看附件。没有帐号?立即注册
冷暖自知,童话换一个角度发生

使用道具 举报

Rank: 2

声望
1
寄托币
149
注册时间
2011-8-29
精华
0
帖子
0
13
发表于 2011-9-8 20:22:19 |只看该作者
9# 奔跑蜗牛

哇  版主亲自改  好荣幸啊

谢谢 谢谢!!!!

使用道具 举报

Rank: 3Rank: 3

声望
15
寄托币
314
注册时间
2010-10-30
精华
0
帖子
36
14
发表于 2011-9-8 22:53:50 |只看该作者
It is individual's right depend on what to do that they are enjoy. Many people tend to have favorable attitude toward yang pet. They love animals and treat their pet as children. Therefore they love to spend much money on them no matter make up or cure disease. As for me, I am in favor of the opinion that the behavior of people spend (behavior作主语不能spend) too much money on their pets such as dogs, cats and others dose not wrong (一句话不能有两个动词). My opinion can be strengthened by the following reasons:
First and foremost, pets can bring happiness to us. No one can deny the basic fact that those pets are friendly to human and always make harmony atmosphere in the family, so that people are willing afford money to take care of them even too much money. Because they not only are pets but also are friend to us. My uncle has a dog which is so smart. He helps my uncle look after his little daughter when my uncle goes out for a while. They have deep relationship with each other. I was admait(什么) that I also want a pet for my own. And one day, my mother tooks a little kitten to me, I was excited and from then on, I clean its place and care about they growing everyday as if I was their mother. Although I spend a lot of money to buy a variety of cat food and beautiful necessaries for them, I was enjoy the day with them. The happiness and sense of satisfiction are far overcome the money I spend on them. The kitten just like a member of my family. There is no doubt that I love it so much, thus there are many people who have pet like I do will spare no effort to take care of them.
What is more, another factor should be taken into account is that the pet plays an extremely important role to some people(those who这是很地道的用法) who live alone even to some people who are physical disability. There is a true story which happend in Japan, a dog named little Q help his host to live about decade, because his host are blind. The loyal dog accompanies his host walk outside and back to home from day to day also helps him overcome lots of difficulties such as directing the way and protect him in dangerous situations. It is a moving story, people in growing number are beginning to realize that pets have indispensable significance to human. One research conducted by the Beijing University demonstrates that about 70 percent people are thought pets are more likely to be companions to people in mentally. Therefore, it is usually spent too much money to raise pets, more and more people are willing to pay for it in order to achieve the sense of warm or safety or some thers.
To sum up, in light of these I would like to say that people spend too much money on their pets should not be critisized. Everyone have their personal interests or needs, if they think their pets can bring them more happiness and enjoyable time then nothing with wrong to spend money on them, because it is worthy.
如果梦想是值得的,那就捍卫它。

使用道具 举报

Rank: 2

声望
1
寄托币
149
注册时间
2011-8-29
精华
0
帖子
0
15
发表于 2011-9-10 00:11:02 |只看该作者
本帖最后由 samuelandcarol 于 2011-9-10 00:13 编辑

9.10  独立

It is only worth watching movies that can teach us something about real life.

Nowadays, more and more movies appear, several of type of movie can be chosen such as love movie, biography movie, mystery movie, Dracula movie and etc. However, lots of movies just have gorgeous pictures and high-technology skills, they are meaningless. People cannot learn more things from this. Not to mention that can teach they something about real life. People cannot get experience or knowledge from those movies. As for me, I am in favor of the opinion that people should watch some valuable movies which can teach us something about real life. My opinion can be strengthened by the following reasons:

First and foremost, watching some encouragement movies can inspire people learning knowledge and to hold hope toward future. My favorite movie is "Forrest Gump". It is an America movie, talk about a boy who have low intelligence quotient but have high emotion quotient. He has overcome lots of things in his life, and achieved success. One of the most famous lines says that:"Life was like a box of chocolate, you are never known when you gonna get". This line teaches me that people should insist on their dream and should have courage to try anything they face to and then overcome it, so you will be successful. Forrest Gump has been face to lots of difficulties and barriers but he never give up. He sets a goal for his life can do everything he can to meet them. He also teaches me that people should not waiting for success because you can not be successful without any hard work, the true is being successful is hard. You should experience failures over and over and over again in your life, so that you will be stronger not only at physical but also at psychological.

What is more, I often watch some biography movies because from those stories I can see people's willpower and also I will learn more knowledge from it. There is a real story about a girl whose family has no money to send she where all China kids went to school. But she insists that people should keep up with education so that she told her mom to teach her lessons. Due to the fact that her mother had to go to work, the only time her mother can teach her was at 4:30 in the morning. However, she was never fell behind. Finally, she got a scholarship to Brown University, and she can follow her dream. When I am watching this movie I was moving. There is no doubt that it is too hard for a little kid. How can she have such courage to insist? How can she achieve such high goals? I think she must be humble, she always asks people when she do not know something. Gradually, I realize that asking for help is not a sign of weakness, but is a sign of strength because it shows you have the courage to admit when you do not know something and that then allows you to learn something new.

To sum up, in light of these, I would like to say that I personally agree with the statement that it is only worth watching movies that can teach us something about real life. People can gain more experience from those valuable movies. Only watching the movies which can teach us lots of truth about real life is worth.

使用道具 举报

RE: Daily Writing Camp-作文特训小组---笨鸟先飞飞 作文贴。加油加油加油! 我要hold住! [修改]
您需要登录后才可以回帖 登录 | 立即注册

问答
Offer
投票
面经
最新
精华
转发
转发该帖子
Daily Writing Camp-作文特训小组---笨鸟先飞飞 作文贴。加油加油加油! 我要hold住!
https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1300217-1-1.html
复制链接
发送
报offer 祈福 爆照
回顶部