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标题: towardsBT的作业贴 [打印本页]

作者: towardsBT    时间: 2012-1-16 18:41:47     标题: towardsBT的作业贴

2月25号 一战 求狠批~~
作者: towardsBT    时间: 2012-1-16 20:46:37

终于能传附件了~~~第一次写作文,完全没有高中时候的感觉了。。。恩。高级词汇&短语完全不会用了,希望接下来的一个月快快提高~加油~!请狠批!!
作者: towardsBT    时间: 2012-1-18 19:48:42

按计划今天本来该写作文了。但是同学聚会刚回来。。恩。静不下心来。。还是明天再写吧。。。:dizzy:
作者: towardsBT    时间: 2012-1-19 18:29:32

恩。求狠批~
作者: towardsBT    时间: 2012-1-30 18:56:43

继续~
作者: 坏绿的眼睛    时间: 2012-1-31 07:00:43

个人意见 互相学习喽
作者: towardsBT    时间: 2012-2-2 11:05:42

非常抱歉交晚了。
作者: idealibt    时间: 2012-2-2 11:47:02

[attach]174393[/attach]

pls kindly check the attachment
作者: towardsBT    时间: 2012-2-2 13:33:14

8# idealibt
谢谢修改~~确实我的作文感觉写的很苍白,好多地方的表达也是中文翻译过来的,写作文好痛苦。。orz。。
作者: towardsBT    时间: 2012-2-2 13:34:44

6# 坏绿的眼睛 thank you~~改的很认真,你的建议我在1号的作文里都有采纳哦~感觉比上一次好多了~~
作者: sodapeng    时间: 2012-2-2 20:34:38

不好意思。。。我才看见分组,而且这个作文我没有写= =。。。。木有什么见解。。木有给你改。。不好意思。。
作者: towardsBT    时间: 2012-2-3 23:38:54

加油~
作者: idealibt    时间: 2012-2-4 01:13:01

fyi[attach]174441[/attach]
作者: idealibt    时间: 2012-2-4 01:13:56

11# sodapeng
我是觉得,自己写没写都可以帮着给别人的作文提些意见的来~~
作者: lovely_hippo123    时间: 2012-2-4 12:32:28

One of your classmates needs help with some schoolwork. Which solution would you recommend your classmate should do: to ask you for help or to find a professional tutor for help. Include reasons and details to in your response.

If you need help with your 据说,写作文的时候不要用第二人称,这回让帮你改作文的ets的那班感觉不礼貌。。。,你想啊,你被说有问题要帮忙云云,你爽不爽啊。建议哈schoolwork, I would recommend that you should ask me rather than go to a professional tutor for help since not only I am definitely willing to give you a hand, but also we are able to solve the problem by ourselves.

First of all, although the responsibility of a professional tutor is to give instruction to us, it does not mean that we should go to –-这里用seek for会不会好一些

him or her once we need help.
Too much dependence on others will make us lazy-
为什么会crazy啊?
and lose the ability to think independently.
On the other hand-
on the one hand 呢?据说,on the one hand on the other hand 是在两个观点对立的时候使用的,所以这里你可以用for one thing ,for another thing, it is not sure that the professional tutor will be always available to you, which is to say that you will have to stand on your own and solve the problem yourself one day in the future. If you ask me for help, we can analyze the problem you are faced with together and I will try my best to help you. It is apparently better to teach a person who is hungry to—这里改成how to会不会好点啊? fish than to give him some fish-学到了. The ability to get a solution, which we can both develop during the process, is more significant than the solution to a specific problem itself.

What’s more, the tutor is professional in some field, while we could find the solution to the problem as well since the Internet is so convenient today that we can get the information we want at any time and any place. I believe that we could go through the problem as long as we both do all we can. Therefore, there is no reason for us to go to others and bother them when we could manage it ourselves.这段怎么出现了网络找问题了,题目不是让你在你和教授之间做选择么,这个会不会有点偏了呀。。。

As all the reasons listed above, I can safely draw the conclusion that you should ask me for help than go to a professional tutor if you are confused about your schoolwork.

能力有限啊,一起加油哈。。
WORD不能传 所以楼主辛苦下看啊。。。
紫色-excellent
红色-correction
作者: towardsBT    时间: 2012-2-4 15:57:03

13# idealibt thanks~人称确实是个大问题,我会注意哒~~一起加油~
作者: towardsBT    时间: 2012-2-4 16:00:40

15# lovely_hippo123 thank You~
确实么有注意过On the one hand 和 on the other hand 的用法,最后一点的论证也确实是有问题的~~我会改正滴~
作者: towardsBT    时间: 2012-2-6 16:27:05

求狠批!
作者: Lusota    时间: 2012-2-7 10:20:35

[attach]174501[/attach]
快来狂拍lusota的吧~决不要客气喔~
作者: wqr619    时间: 2012-2-9 13:57:17

楼主写得好呢~~赞~~都木有怎么改。。
作者: towardsBT    时间: 2012-2-10 21:57:31

忙了好几天,终于恢复正常作息了~加油~
作者: iBT20120304    时间: 2012-2-11 09:43:45

Children may encounter numerous problems when they do their work, which leaves a choice for parents as whether to help them or not. In my opinion, the advantages of encouraging children to do their work independently overweigh those of assisting them to do it.


First of all, it is apparently more significant for children to learn how to solve a problem than to have it solved directly since they would know the way to solve a problem instead of just asking for help next time when they are faced with some difficult problem in their work (稍显繁冗). They can acquire the skill through the process of independent problem-solving, which would benefit them in their lifetime.


Secondly, encouraging children to do their work independently would contribute to the development of children’s characteristic(character). Children cannot always be accompanied by their parents, which means that they have to face their own lives one day by themselves. If parents keep helping children to do their work all the time, the children will never be able to be independent enough to make choices, to solve problems and to decide their future plans. And when they grow up and take part in a job, they may rely on others too much due to the lack of independency, which would of course lead to the failure of the children.


What’s more, children who are always encouraged to do their work independently tend to be smarter and have a brighter future than those who keep asking for help once they are in a difficult situation, according to a recent survey conducted by an authoritative information corporation.


From all the reasons listed above, we can safely draw the conclusion that it is better for parents to encourage children to do their work independently than to just help them when they need a hand.

楼主的文章读起来很通顺,显然英文功底很好。(按我估计,应该背诵过新概念等经典教材吧?)
词汇,语法,句子,都没有问题。
以我的经验,即便以楼主现在的水平去参加考试,写作分数肯定在28+。

楼主的进一步提升空间,我个人认为,可能是在词句的打磨上。有些句子,楼主应用从句,写得很长,显得有些啰嗦重复。建议考虑更加合理的逻辑结构,套用合适的句型。而且,另有一点,长短结合才可以达到较好的效果。我个人比较倾向于,只在有表达需要的时候使用长句子。除此以外,词语方面,还需更加生动准确。

对了,字数方面,争取上350。

一起加油吧。
作者: towardsBT    时间: 2012-2-11 10:14:58

22# iBT20120304 谢谢你的修改和建议~语法上个人认为问题不大了,但是在遣词造句这一方面确实要多下工夫才行~~一起加油~
作者: towardsBT    时间: 2012-2-12 12:05:55

晚交了。。
作者: towardsBT    时间: 2012-2-12 12:07:27

本帖最后由 towardsBT 于 2012-2-12 12:47 编辑

综合~~
作者: yxy319    时间: 2012-2-12 14:04:07

The passage presents three problems with the painting that suggest it could not be a work by Rembrandt, while the listening part tells us that this portrait is in fact the work by him.

First of all, the passage argues that inconsistency of the way the woman in the portrait is dressed could not be the guilt of Rembrandt. While the listening shows us that the after the
fur collar of the portrait, which was added to it a hundred years after the painting was made, was removed, the woman in the portrait is dressed consistently.

Secondly, what the passage holds is that Rembrandt is a master of painting light and shadow and he would never make the error of misuse the light and shadow which appears in the portrait. The professor says that after the remove of the
fore color, below the face is simple collar with light colors, just the way people have expected, which makes the original one realistic.

Lastly, the panel made of several pieces of wood glued together, mentioned in the passage, was also added after many years. The original panel is a single piece of wood, which is the same with Rembrandt’s already known self-portrait, according to the professor.


From all the reasons listed above, the professor makes the idea clarified to all the students that the portrait is the work of Rembrandt, even though once doubted by people.


总体不错,一些细节需要注意下~
作者: 美蓝    时间: 2012-2-12 14:22:20

楼主~你的文我看了,写得很好~~思路很论证都不错~~
能回改一下我昨天的作文吗?https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1332586-1-1.html
谢谢啦~~~
作者: 紫梦于    时间: 2012-2-12 20:34:38

改好了
作者: nikiniki333    时间: 2012-2-13 02:44:04

改好~~~~
作者: 美蓝    时间: 2012-2-13 11:26:50

谢谢啦~~
我觉得这一次的作文实在是两方面都很重要所以就两个都支持了。。。
以后在这方面会注意的~~




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