【Daily Writing作文特训小组】美蓝 作文贴

美蓝UID: 3211855

2.27 今天终于又开始继续写作文了~~刚刚被老师训说课题进展太慢了，好伤心。。。。哎。。。加油吧~
3.9听说机经作文快写完了，好happy好happy~~~~哈哈

美蓝UID: 3211855

2月9日 100924NA Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? College or University should offer students more preparation before they start working.

Recall your memory of once being a college student, had you ever complained about the tedious theories in your text book? Had you ever find the knowledge so easily forgotten? Had you ever felt what you'd learnt so useless? Well, that's because the college does not offer you the opportunity to combine knowledge with practice, a good preparation for work.

By combining knowledge with practice, we'll gradually find the knowledge not boring any more. Suppose you are a programmer, what you are learning now? The complex computer language and the unfamiliar symbols that make nonsense to you and only contribute to your headache? But think about you are asked to design a program that will control the traffic, making traffic jams no possible to exist any longer, you'll be obsessed in this interesting but challenging project and find yourself so enthusiastically working on it in order to find the perfect answer.

By combining knowledge with practice, we'll suddenly notice our memory strengthened magically. You're major in English and dreaming to become a well-known interpreter. If your college provide you with the opportunity to accompany the foreign delegator as an translator, English words will no more be the obstacle on your way of pursuing a interpreter career. You use it, you remember it. Just that simple.

By combining knowledge with practice, we'll finally realize it still useful in our work. As a mechanical student, good news has come to you that the college is planning to fund for a small factory where you are allowed to make whatever you want. Don't know where to start with? First, assemble a small simple thing. Then, with you getting more familiar with the practical use of knowledge, you will be able to build an elaborate machine. These practices will eventually make out in your future career.

College should not ignore its important role as an intermediate stage between school and society. Only by offering its students sufficient practical opportunity to prepare for their future work can college accomplish its own value.

laozhanguotoeflUID: 3246339

本人水平初级，改得不好还望见谅
Recall your memory of once being a college student, had you ever complained about the tedious theories in your text book? Had you ever find the knowledge so easily forgotten? Had you ever felt what you'd learnt so useless? Well, that's because the college does not offer you the opportunity to combine knowledge with practice, a good preparation for work.
By combining knowledge with practice, we'll gradually find the knowledge not boring any more. Suppose you are a programmer, what you are are you learning now? The complex computer language and the unfamiliar symbols that 应该去掉 make nonsense to you and only contribute to your headache? But think about 貌似后面不应该接句子，用think that you are asked to design a program that will control controlling the traffic, making traffic jams no possible to exist any longer, you'll be obsessed in this interesting but challenging project and find yourself so enthusiastically when working on it in order to find the perfect answer.
By combining knowledge with practice, we'll suddenly notice our memory strengthened magically. You're major in English and dreaming to become a well-known interpreter. If your college provide you with the opportunity to accompany the foreign delegator as an a translator, English words will no more be the obstacle on your way of pursuing a interpreter career. You use it, you remember it. Just that simple. 这句好有点怪，楼主再看一下
By combining knowledge with practice, we'll finally realize it is still useful in our work. (As a mechanical student 觉得改为 As a student majoring in mechanical 更好,
good news has come to you that the college is planning to fund for a small factory where you are allowed to make whatever you want. Don't know where to start with? First, assemble a small simple thing. Then, with you getting more familiar with the practical use of knowledge, you will be able to build an elaborate machine). 觉得这部分有点跑题。。
These practices will eventually make out in your future career.
College should not ignore its important role as an intermediate stage between school and society. Only by offering its students sufficient practical opportunity to prepare for their future work can college accomplish its own value. 这句比较好
楼主文章总体不错，但是有些中式英语的表达还需要注意

laozhanguotoeflUID: 3246339

你改的很好：)

xiesisiminervaUID: 2997765

2月9日 100924NA Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? College or University should offer students more preparation before they start working.
X) C. p% a( M  b
Recall your memory of once being a college student, had you ever complained about the tedious theories in your text book? Had you ever find the knowledge so easily forgotten? Had you ever felt what you'd learnt so useless? Well, that's because the college does not offer you the opportunity to combine knowledge with practice, a good preparation for work.

By combining knowledge with practice, we'll gradually find the knowledge not boring any more. Suppose you are a programmer, what you are learning now? The complex computer language and the unfamiliar symbols that make nonsense to you and only contribute to your headache? But think about you are asked to design a program that will control the traffic, making traffic jams no possible to exist any longer, you'll be obsessed in this interesting but challenging project and find yourself so enthusiastically working on it in order to find the perfect answer.8 H/ z( L* q0 k9 q/ w; a4 C4 T
/ h( e8 P' L- E; D5 R
By combining knowledge with practice, we'll suddenly notice our memory strengthened magically. You're major in English and dreaming to become a well-known interpreter. If your college provide you with the opportunity to accompany the foreign delegator as an translator, English words will no more be the obstacle on your way of pursuing a interpreter career. You use it, you remember it. Just that simple.

By combining knowledge with practice, we'll finally realize it still useful in our work. As a mechanical student, good news has come to you that the college is planning to fund for a small factory where you are allowed to make whatever you want. Don't know where to start with? First, assemble a small simple thing. Then, with you getting more familiar with the practical use of knowledge, you will be able to build an elaborate machine. These practices will eventually make out in your future career.

College should not ignore its important role as an intermediate stage between school and society. Only by offering its students sufficient practical opportunity to prepare for their future work can college accomplish its own value.
怎么办呢，楼主写得这么好，我都找不到错误捏。那就来讲讲楼主的优点吧。整片文章结构清晰，逻辑严密，前后呼应，没有缀笔，还有成段的排比，丰富的举例。真是一篇学习的佳作啊！

美蓝UID: 3211855

每一次写完作文自己都不忍心再看一遍。。。这要怎么办。。。。呜~~~

sillydsUID: 2985444

I can still clearly remember the scene when I took my first exam in primary school: with students around me handing in their test papers one by one, I, sitting on my seat, couldn't help but sweating cold because I failed to think up even one answer to these unfamiliar questions, which, seemed to be mocking at me with their awful faces. You might ask, what's wrong with you? A born amentia? However, after these years' study, it turns out that amentia has nothing to do with me. It was all because of my excessive reliance on my parents while doing homework. So, as a living example who used to suffer from its harm, I strongly hold that parents should encourage children do their work independently!(开头很好地表明观点)

Parents play an important role in children's life, but not as a homework instructor. Some parents, trying so hard to please their children, may(删除) wrongly think that they should give their children everything they treasure, including their knowledge. So whenever the children have any problem with the assignment, they never refuse to offering help. This kind of behavior, seemingly benefit(beneficial) for the children, will contributes to(will contribute to) their dependence on parents. In the long term, it will do no good. The day will come when the young has to be away from his parents and seek for his own way of life with no one behind him to count on. It's self-reliance and self-confidence, not an A in every assignment, that will finally help them succeed. These kinds of personal qualities can't be gained(obtained) if parents haven't realize(didn’t realize) the importance of encouraging the young to do their work independently.

Furthermore, parents' limitation in various knowledge may some time(the limiting knowledge of most parents may sometimes) mislead their children. Most adults are constrained to specific knowledge concerning their own occupation and not capable of all kinds of problems. Instead of insisting offering wrong message, it would be better to leave the young search for solutions(leave the young to find out solutions by themselves) through books or internet. As we all know, the internet has provided us(provides people) such convenient access to various kinds of knowledge. Children are able to find the perfect answer as well as expanding relative background knowledge with the help of internet. Therefore, parents' help in children's work is not that necessary(not the only way to solve problems)

However, it doesn't mean that parents should leave their children alone, not having any involvement in their study or work. Remember this, to some extent, children gain their self-confidence through parents' affirmation.(加上Thus, encouragement is important for a child’s enthusiasm in completing the work.) Never ignore a slight improvement in them and don't mean to praise them. One encouragement is sometimes worth a thousand suggestions.(觉得这段应结合the work来讨论encouragement的作用会更好)

In a word, parents should have a clear recognition of their role in children's life. Their encouragement of(for) children doing work(to work) independently is a necessity in building up children's sense of self-reliance and self-confidence.

文章总体不错，观点明确，第三段有点跑题
有些表达有问题，纯属个人意见


2.10  独立  https://bbs.gter.net/viewthread.php?tid=1332678&;page=1&extra=#pid1775700269

idealibtUID: 2667256

美蓝.doc (30.5 KB, 下载次数: 7)

2012-2-11 14:16:31 上传

下载次数: 7

美蓝UID: 3211855

2.11独立

千年求渡UID: 3146579

2月9日 100924NA Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? College or University should offer students more preparation before they start working.
Recall your memory of once being a college student, had（为什么用过去完成时？） you ever complained about the tedious theories in your text book? Had you ever find the knowledge so easily forgotten? Had you ever felt what you'd learnt so useless? Well, that's because the college does not offer you the opportunity to combine knowledge with practice, a good preparation for work.
By combining knowledge with practice, we'll gradually find the knowledge not boring any more. Suppose you are a programmer, what you are learning now?(这句是问句就该把are提前） The complex computer language and the unfamiliar symbols that make nonsense to you and only contribute to your headache?（这句话只有主语啊） But think about you are asked to design a program that will control the traffic, making traffic jams no possible to exist any longer, you'll be obsessed in this interesting but challenging project and find yourself so enthusiastically working on it in order to find the perfect answer.

'combining knowledge with practice, we'll suddenly notice our memory strengthened magically. You're（去are） major in English and （加are）dreaming to become a well-known interpreter. If your college provide（加s） you with the opportunity to accompany the foreign delegator（delegate应该就好） as an translator（最好interpreter）, English words will no more be the obstacle on your way of pursuing a interpreter career. You use it, you remember it. Just that simple.（最后一句有点中式英语，不知道老外能否理解。。。）
By combining knowledge with practice, we'll finally realize it still useful in our work.（realize sth adj？） As a mechanical student, good news has come to you that the college is planning to fund for（fund sth就可以了） a small factory where you are allowed to make whatever you want. Don't know where to start with? First, assemble a small simple thing(这句话感觉有问题，assemble的东西应该是复数）. Then, with you getting more familiar with the practical use of knowledge, you will be able to build an elaborate machine. These practices will eventually make out in your future career.
College should not ignore its important role as an intermediate stage between school and society（这句还行）. Only by offering its students sufficient practical opportunity to prepare for their future work can college accomplish its own value.:)

saturn2011UID: 3071229

2.10的作文已改好
请告诉我一下你的邮箱，我不能传附件

美蓝UID: 3211855

第一次写综合，麻烦大家帮忙看一下吧~~

laozhanguotoeflUID: 3246339

已改完

stancy_zhangUID: 3235143

一些自己的看法，如果不对的话，欢迎指出哈~

towardsBTUID: 3236375

改好啦~