一段作文片断，大家帮忙改改

天媛UID: 2681448

科学技术会给生活带来便利——电冰箱的例子

The increasing development of science and technology does bring much convenience to our daily life. One of the best examples is the refrigerator, which has been used widely in nearly every family. Using the refrigerator can preserve the food from being deteriorated and better maintain the efficacy of the medicine. As people get sick, they can get the treatment quickly instead of going to the hospital to buy the medicine. And in the summer, the food that cannot eat up at lunch cannot preserve in the traditional time, however, now people can preserve them first in the refrigerator and in the dinner , people can take them out , using only a little time can they heat up and enjoy them. What is more, we can use the refrigerator to produce the ice. Since in the hot whether or after some strenuous exercises, some cold beverage or beer are required. The refrigerator can solve the problem, while people do not need to go to the supermarket to buy. And when people have a fever, the ice can help them drop their body temperature. Without any doubt, refrigerator, as a typical example of modern science and technology, has indeed improved our daily life.

秋雨荆州UID: 2903781

仅供参考
细节的地方是deteriorate处改成主动语态，eat up处应该是被动，traditional time最好改成old days。
and in summer开始的一串句子要稍微整理一下，觉得有点拖沓，应该拆成两句。weather错拼成whether了，some cold beverage or beer are required感觉表达不是很地道。drop body temperature的用法似乎也不是很妥当。
总的来说觉得这段还可以写得更好一点，稍稍让人觉得有点拖沓，先尽量写地简单流畅一点会比较好。

天媛UID: 2681448

谢谢