Argument51 寄托4人组 8-22

bridgewalkerUID: 208595

Argument51  第10篇 让砖头来得更猛烈些吧！
------摘要------
作者：寄托家园作文版普通用户     共用时间：30分     377 words
从2005年7月22日10时15分到2005年7月22日10时0分
------题目------
The following appeared in a medical newsletter.
'Doctors have long suspected that secondary infections may keep some patients from healing quickly after severe muscle strain. This hypothesis has now been proved by preliminary results of a study of two groups of patients. The first group of patients, all being treated for muscle injuries by Dr. Newland, a doctor who specializes in sports medicine, took antibiotics regularly throughout their treatment. Their recuperation time was, on average, 40 percent quicker than typically expected. Patients in the second group, all being treated by Dr. Alton, a general physician, were given sugar pills, although the patients believed they were taking antibiotics. Their average recuperation time was not significantly reduced. Therefore, all patients who are diagnosed with muscle strain would be well advised to take antibiotics as part of their treatment.'
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In this argument, the speaker suggests that all patients with muscle strain injuries would be well advised to take antibiotics as part of their treatments. After a careful scrutiny, however, I find this reasoning suffers from several critical flaws.

To begin with, the speaker assumes that most muscle strain patients will surely suffer from secondary infection, which is open to doubt. Experience tells us that although people get muscle injuries, it is unnecessarily the case that they will be infected at the same time. If these patients do not infected, it would be useless to use antibiotics to make their recuperation quicker. Since the speaker does not provide any information to prove that all these patients in the study really suffer from infection, the conclusion generated from the study is unreliable.

In the second place, the data on which the study is based are questionable. The speaker does not give any detailed information about the total number, age, gender, physical conditions, seriousness of injuries of these participators, and how they are divided into two groups. If the total number of these patients are too small to make any generalization; if they are all males or females; if patients of different ages, physical conditions and seriousness are not equally allocated into two groups, conclusions made from this study is vulnerable.

In the third place, even assuming that most patients involved in the study were infected, and they are equally divided into two groups, there still lack substantial evidence to demonstrate a causal relationship between antibiotics and quicker recuperation. Although the patients who take antibiotics heal quicker that typically expected, their quicker recovery might be attributed to other reasons. Since the doctor of the first group specializes in sports medicine, he or she may give these patients additional treatments which are good for their healing. For instance, the doctor might suggest the patients take a special diet, prescribing other medicines, and doing massages to relax their muscles while they take antibiotics. If these possibilities cannot be ruled out, the speaker commits a fallacy of concurrence.

In conclusion, the flaws listed above make the argument unpersuasive. In order to strengthen the reasoning, the cause and effect correlation between antibiotics and the quicker recuperation should be substantiated by further scientific evidences.

meautoUID: 2116250

还拿一只烟拿~~~

meautoUID: 2116250

'Doctors have long suspected that secondary infections may keep some patients from healing quickly after severe muscle strain. This hypothesis has now been proved by preliminary results of a study of two groups of patients. The first group of patients, all being treated for muscle injuries by Dr. Newland, a doctor who specializes in sports medicine, took antibiotics regularly throughout their treatment. Their recuperation time was, on average, 40 percent quicker than typically expected. Patients in the second group, all being treated by Dr. Alton, a general physician, were given sugar pills, although the patients believed they were taking antibiotics. Their average recuperation time was not significantly reduced. Therefore, all patients who are diagnosed with muscle strain would be well advised to take antibiotics as part of their treatment.'
------正文------
In this argument, the speaker suggests that all patients with muscle strain injuries would be well advised to take antibiotics as part of their treatments. After a careful scrutiny, however, I find this reasoning suffers from several critical flaws.

To begin with, the speaker assumes that most muscle strain patients will surely suffer from secondary infection, which is open to doubt. Experience tells us that although people get muscle injuries, it is unnecessarily the case that they will be infected at the same time. If these patients do not infected, it would be useless to use antibiotics to make their recuperation quicker. Since the speaker does not provide any information to prove that all these patients in the study really suffer from infection, the conclusion generated from the study is unreliable.

题目的思路是这样的
1，        两组人，一组吃糖片，一组吃抗生素，好的快
2，        抗生素治疗感染
3，        1，2得出结论 两组人都感染，而吃抗生素的人好的快，
所以4，肌肉扭伤的人都感染，而且应该吃抗生素。
究竟是不是感染，还是感染1次2次的问题，我觉得应该分析下在摆出来，不要第一段就写这个错误。注意题目蓝色的字。现象推出结论，就先反驳下现象。要不然有点吃力哈。
In the second place, the data on which the study is based are questionable. The speaker does not give any detailed information about the total number, age, gender, physical conditions, seriousness of injuries of these participators, and how they are divided into two groups. If the total number of these patients are too small to make any generalization; if they are all males or females; if patients of different ages, physical conditions and seriousness are not equally allocated into two groups, conclusions made from this study is vulnerable.
不错！
In the third place, even assuming that most patients involved in the study were infected, and they are equally divided into two groups, there still lack substantial evidence to demonstrate a causal relationship between antibiotics and quicker recuperation. Although the patients who take antibiotics heal quicker that typically expected, their quicker recovery might be attributed to other reasons. Since the doctor of the first group specializes in sports medicine, he or she may give these patients additional treatments which are good for their healing. For instance, the doctor might suggest the patients take a special diet, prescribing other medicines, and doing massages to relax their muscles while they take antibiotics. If these possibilities cannot be ruled out,the arguer cannot rule out all these possibilities the speaker commits a fallacy of concurrence.不要用FALLACY OF CONCURRENCE这种过于专业而又空洞的词~~~

In conclusion, the flaws listed above make the argument unpersuasive. In order to strengthen the reasoning, the cause and effect correlation between antibiotics and the quicker recuperation should be substantiated by further scientific evidences.
除了第一段有点不太对劲（和我讨论下），其他都写的很好。该具体的地方都具体了，语言也规范。你的下个目标是提速，阿狗多写点比ISSUE容易些，也很赚滴~

bridgewalkerUID: 208595

题目第一句说some patients，而最后的建议是all patients who are diagnosed with muscle strain，“是否感染”应该是个前提吧？驳斥它应该很重要吧？所以我放到B1了。

吃sugar pill的那一点我没有谈，找不出什么点子。

另外，关于提速，给点建议吧！我一直都没有找到好方法的说~