TOPIC15 ，狠拍必狠回！

zephyrsunUID: 2186291

In the modern society, no matter where we live, we do have some neighbors ,the people who live near us . The connection between them and ourselves can deeply affect our lives, so it will be very lucky and happy if we have good neighbors with certain qualities.

First of all, almost everyone among us hopes that our neighbors are honest. Living with someone who is dishonest will never be a comfortable thing. Just thinking about he or she may be lie to us or even steal something from us in order to meet the need of his or her own, we  will feel unhappy and have to get along with them carefully all the time. In addition, unreliable neighbors may speak out everything we happen to tell them, as a result, sometimes we will be very embarrassed to find out our privacy becoming known by all.

The second character which is crucial for being a good neighbor is that we must respect , or at least understand each other. Seldom do our neighbors and we come from the same area where we are born and grew up , or be educated in the same way and work in the same field. What is more, we may have totally distinctive living habits and life styles. All of these means that we and our neighbors must not fail to understand each other and be more considerate about the people who are living around, if want to have lives full of compatibility and harmony.

Of course, sometimes we will be in such an emergency that we wish someone could give us an hand. Therefore, living with neighbors who are ready to help others is really a wonderful thing. For instance, we may ask them to take care of our gardens when we are out for a tour, or take us to the hospital when we are too sick to do that. In these cases, we will exactly feel very grateful and be pleased to help them when necessary nest time, don’t we?

To sum up, a good neighbor should have several qualities such as a character of honesty, giving enough respect to others and being pleasure to help others. This kind of people will be popular in their communities and everyone will feel glad to live with them.


50MIN成稿，修改过一遍。我要限时我要限时！

[ 本帖最后由 zephyrsun 于 2006-5-1 22:53 编辑 ]

zephyrsunUID: 2186291

另外，“开阔眼界”应该怎么表达呢？？？

shendanlinUID: 2142838

boarden  eyes' scope?

shendanlinUID: 2142838

On the question whether university students should be required to attend classes or have their own choices ,peoples ideas（opinions....) vary from person to person. Before giving my opinion, I think(consider。。） it is important（crucial..) to have a look(focus on,那个太普通了哈） at the arguments on both sides.

People, who support that university students should go to the classes required by their professor or college ,often say it is the their responsibility(of them去掉) to do this. Why does a student go to college? Because he or she wants to learn something(more kownledge). And the best way to achieve this aim is to have those classes already chosen for them. In this way, they can get what they want more easily and quickly than choosing classes by themselves. On the other hand, taking part in the required classes means the students can be directed better .Sometimes it is really a hard task for them to decide which kind classes should be taken at first or next .If they just follow the schedule and direction from their schools ,things will become clear and this problem will does not exist. Now we can see why some people think university students should be required to certain classes
yHowever, the others may have different opinions. They argue that university students should have the rights to choose what they want to learn, even though their majors have been determined before they go to college. It is not strange that a student may be interested in many different things, and if all the classes are optional, he or she will have the time and energy to learn or just have a touch at the course which seems interesting. In addition, students can also widen their views and communicate with people working in the fields differ from those of themselves. Then they will get knowledge as much as possible and have more experience about how to get along with others well. In a word, optional classes mean opportunities, and with the opportunities the students can choose a better way to improve themselves in the universities.
hAccording to the analysis above, I think all the classes should be divided into two parts. Those important ones which can give students a good direction and bases should be required to attend, while some populate or interesting ones should also be provided as optional classes in order to meet the needs of different kinds of students. With the two types of classes, the students will learn to know both what they need to know and what they want to know.
没有时间改了。。楼主注意用词啊。。托福还算是一种学术上的写作。
注意用词以及句式，很多句式用的太简单了哈！
是第一次吗？用了多少时间啊？
加油a !!
记得互拍啊

https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... light=%2Bshendanlin我的，记得看看哦！



[ 本帖最后由 shendanlin 于 2006-4-23 21:53 编辑 ]

necrophisistUID: 2127000

widen your view

zephyrsunUID: 2186291

恩，用词上面还要下大工夫。

句式也比较单一，而且缺乏examples，我记下了。

[ 本帖最后由 zephyrsun 于 2006-4-24 08:54 编辑 ]

susan8940UID: 160449

楼主的第一篇作文很不错阿！:)
通读下来感觉句子很流畅，论证也基本没问题。
只是对有些句式还需要修改，比如第一句on the question个人觉得改成
on the point比较好。
另外两种观点可以分两段写，在第二段开头来句on the other hand表示转折。

总的来说真的不错。时间有限暂时没法改语法了。
楼主加油啊！ :)

midiyangUID: 2203266

widen/broaden one's horizon or expand one's view of the world

shendanlinUID: 2142838

原帖由 midiyang 于 2006-4-24 19:16 发表
widen/broaden one's horizon or expand one's view of the world

就是这个，刚刚在阅读里面学到。。正准备拿上来说。。结果有人抢先了哦！

allisonUID: 192807

On the question whether university students should be required to attend classes or have their own choices ,people‘s ideas vary from person to person. Before giving my opinion, I think it is important to have a look at the arguments on both sides.

People who support that university students should go to the classes required by their professor or college often say it is the responsibility of them to do this. Why does a student go to college? Because of that they want to learn something.之前那一句不是完整的句子 And the best way to achieve this aim is to have those classes already chosen for them. In this way, they can get what they want more easily and quickly than choosing classes by themselves. On the other hand, taking part in the required classes means the students can be directed better .Sometimes it is really a hard task for them to decide which kind of classes should be taken at first or next .If they just follow the schedule and direction from（of ） their schools ,things will become clear and this problem will does （只能用其中之一）not exist. Now we can see why some people think university students should be required to certain classes.

However, the others may have different opinions. They argue that university students should have the rights to choose what they want to learn, even though their majors have been determined before they go to college. It is not strange that a student may be interested in many different things, and if all the classes are optional, he or she will have the time and energy to learn or just have a touch at the course which seems interesting. In addition, students can also widen their views and communicate with people working in the fields differ from those of themselves. Then they will get knowledge as much as possible and have more experience about how to get along with others well. In a word, optional classes mean opportunities, and with the opportunities， the students can choose a better way to improve themselves in the universities.

According to the analysis above, I think all the classes should be divided into two parts. Those important ones which can give students a good direction and bases should be required to attend, while some populate（？） or interesting ones should also be provided as optional classes in order to meet the needs of different kinds of students. With the two types of classes, the students will learn to know both what they need to know and what they want to know.


第一篇还是不错的，但总的来说，有点零乱。句式不够连贯。很散。应多写一些长句和复杂句。


看看
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... &extra=page%3D1

zephyrsunUID: 2186291

又写了一篇，请大家拍砖！

xiaolanUID: 2191809

请教，这样的作文能拿到4分不?

zephyrsunUID: 2186291

原帖由 xiaolan 于 2006-5-1 23:24 发表
请教，这样的作文能拿到4分不?

你认为呢？

beourselvesUID: 2204784

In the modern society, no matter where we live, we do have some neighbors, the people who live near us. The connection (偶感觉relationship更好些) between them and ourselves (us?) can deeply affect our lives, so it will be very lucky and happy if we have good neighbors with certain qualities.

First of all, almost everyone among us hopes that our neighbors are honest. Living with someone who is dishonest will never be a comfortable thing. Just thinking about he or she may be（语法错误，删） lie to us or even steal something from us in order to meet the need of his or her own, we  will feel unhappy and have to get along with them carefully all the time. In addition, unreliable neighbors may speak out everything we happen to tell them, as a result, sometimes we will be very embarrassed to find out our privacy becoming known by all (这个和honest没什么关系吧，只是比较爱搬是非而已，放到respect那里比较好).

The second character (这里衔接比较好) which is crucial for being a good neighbor is that we must respect , or at least understand each other. Seldom do our neighbors and we come from the same area where we are born and grew up （were born and grew up）, or be educated in the same way and work in the same field. What is more, we may have totally distinctive living habits and life styles. All of these means that we and our neighbors must not (must还是少用比较好) fail to understand each other and be more considerate about the people who are living around, if want to have lives full of compatibility and harmony.

Of course, sometimes we will be in such an emergency that we wish someone could give us an hand. Therefore, living with neighbors who are ready to help others is really a wonderful thing. For instance, we may ask them to take care of our gardens when we are out for a tour, or take us to the hospital when we are too sick to do that. In these cases, we will exactly feel very grateful and be pleased to help them when necessary nest（next） time, don’t we?

To sum up, a good neighbor should have several qualities such as a character of honesty, giving enough respect to others and being pleasure to help others. This kind of people will be popular in their communities and everyone will feel glad to live with them.

楼主的文章结构比偶严谨，行文也比较流畅的，就是注意下细节呵呵

[ 本帖最后由 beourselves 于 2006-5-2 19:32 编辑 ]