issue136 12月高强组周三作业

sunnie_518UID: 2136235

TOPIC: ISSUE136 - "The absence of choice is a circumstance that is very, very rare."WORDS: 507          TIME: 1:02:00         DATE: 2006-11-21

提纲：1 选择是人们日常生活的重要组成部分
            2 尽管人们面临很多选择，但人们的选择行为收外在的很多约束
             3 社会对人们行为的约束是必要的
Is the absence of choice a circumstance that is very, very rare? For different people, the answer would be different. As for me, people are ready to face lots of choices in their lives and be responsible for the consequences companied with these choices. However, the freedom to make choices is not unprincipled.

Making choices and decisions are inalienable issues in our daily life. Form very trivial things about what to eat as breakfast, what to wear to attend a party to decisions of great significance concerning your promises such as entering of college or finding a job. Actually, we are saturated in the sea of choices unconsciously. whether these choices are important or not, they have exert the fundamental and primary influences on any aspects of human lives-in terms of patterns of ordinary actions, ways of speaking ,taste of styles and even values, ethics.

Notwithstanding abundant choices supplied, people's freedom of choices is under control of the society. Why such seemingly ambivalent situation is confronted by people? Taking a more thorough thinking, we can find that as social organisms, the practices and thoughts of common people are confined by the basic conventions, values, regulations set by the communities they live. For example, a student, initially entering a university, is about to choose a major. Can he/she just choose the subject as his/her major solely due to his/her own interests? The theoretical "yes" answer is always opposite. What the student has to take into consideration is whether the subject he/she choose can guarantee him/her a promising career prospect. This fact can be illustrated by the prevailing trend that some practical subjects such as computer, business or law are always the primary alternatives for students who choose their major. It is not uncommon for a student whose real interest lies in painting or literature chooses engineering as his major just because of its so-called warranty of a high salary job told by his parents or teachers. As result of that, claims about lack of choices can be heard.

However, it is fact that freedom of choices without reasonable controls will bring chaos to our society. Imaging a society without regulations and laws to circumscribe people's actions, we can easily see a scene that all illegal practices such as stealing, robbing, swindling, bribing even murdering are permitted and accepted as usual things in such society. Do any people want to live in this society? Do any people want to render their lives to social dangers without any protect? Only through social morals regulations and laws which put due restrictions on people's practices can people lead a happy and health life. Therefore, the restraints on people's behavior, as necessary elements of human society, in some extents, can also been seen as the choices of people.

In sum, choices are ubiquitous in human society and accompanied with them are corresponding constraints on themselves. There is no absolute freedom to make choices. As for common people, the accurate attitude when facing such constraints is not to complain but to consider the situation from other angle and positively confront it.

[ 本帖最后由 sunnie_518 于 2006-11-22 21:53 编辑 ]

最後の使徒UID: 2257608

Is the absence of choice a circumstance that is very, very rare? For different people, the answer would be different. 感觉这句多余, 虽然你是在说你的观点, 但是你却是在讨论别人的情况, 所以讨论本身就是基于for different people的. As for me, people are ready to face lots of choices in their lives and be responsible for the consequences companied with these choices. However, the freedom to make choices is not unprincipled.
作为ISSUE的开头而言单薄了些, 不过观点比较清晰, 也可以接受.

Making choices and decisions are inalienable issues in our daily life. Form very trivial things about what to eat as breakfast, what to wear to attend a party 这个介宾结构让句子有些碎, 建议改成分句 to decisions of great significance concerning your promises such as entering of a college or finding a job. Actually, we are saturated in the sea of choices unconsciously. whether these choices are important or not, they have exert exerted the fundamental and primary influences on any aspects of human lives-in terms of patterns of ordinary actions, ways of speaking ,taste of styles and even values, ethics.
这段有点单薄, 比起下面的论证来, 如果是想采用一个 - 的态度, 那么最好在这段中加入一些让步语气的副词.

Notwithstanding abundant choices supplied, people's freedom of choices is under control of the society. Why such seemingly ambivalent situation is confronted by people? Taking a more thorough thinking, we can find that as social organisms, the practices and thoughts of common people are confined by the basic conventions, values, regulations set by the communities they live. For example, a student, initially entering a university, is about to choose a major. Can he/she just choose the subject as his/her major solely due to his/her own interests? The theoretical "yes" answer is always opposite. What the student has to take into consideration is whether the subject he/she choose can guarantee him/her a promising career prospect. This fact can be illustrated by the prevailing trend that some practical subjects such as computer, business or law are always the primary alternatives for students who choose their major. It is not uncommon for a student whose real interest lies in painting or literature chooses engineering as his major just because of its so-called warranty of a high salary job told by his parents or teachers. As result of that, claims about lack of choices can be heard.

However 前面在论述选择受社会制约, 后面论证不受限制的选择会造成危害, 二者不构成转折关系, 用On the other hand比较合适, it is fact that freedom of choices without reasonable controls will bring chaos to our society. Imaging a society without regulations and laws to circumscribe people's actions, we can easily see a scene that all illegal practices such as stealing, robbing, swindling, bribing even murdering are permitted and accepted as usual things in such society. Do any people want to live in this society? Do any people want to render their lives to social dangers without any protect protection? Only through social morals regulations and laws which put due restrictions on people's practices can people lead a happy and health life. Therefore, the restraints on people's behavior, as necessary elements of human society, in some extents, can also been seen as the choices of people. 一大段论述直到最后才提到choice,有些偏题的感觉,在论证中时不时让自己的话题和主题相关是件很必要的事情.

In sum, choices are ubiquitous in human society and accompanied with them are corresponding constraints on themselves. There is no absolute freedom to make choices. As for common people, the accurate attitude when facing such constraints is not to complain but to consider the situation from other angle and positively confront it.
结尾同样缺乏发展.

感觉楼主的文章基本已经达到了一定的标准, 现在应该考虑的就是怎么让自己的论证更饱满, 主题更深入, 现在的语言有些干涩, 例证也不是很有力, 虽然错误比较少但也挑不出太多亮点, 虽然不会得到个低分但想要拿高分也很不利

sunnie_518UID: 2136235

谢谢，我自己也是在写的时候，苦于无例证，导致文章很干涩，没有什么内容