issue177 感觉写得不怎么顺

kitty_yyUID: 2292666

提纲：同意
1. 学习某些方面知识可以帮助我们认识自然现象
2. 还可以增加对于社会变化的理解
3. 加强对于艺术的理解和认识

TOPIC: ISSUE177 - "The study of an academic discipline alters the way we perceive the world. After studying the discipline, we see the same world as before, but with different eyes."
WORDS: 484          TIME: 0:49:43          DATE: 2007-2-8

The world is not the same as before for a person who has studied an academic discipline. It is not the world that changed, but the eyes of the person. Do the academic disciplines really have such magical ability? The answer of mine is 'yes'. Studying academic disciplines can help people discover the things they have neglected or are puzzled with before, the solutions of which give them a different world.

Most of all, the knowledge of some academic disciplines can help people understand the phenomenon of the nature sciences. Consider how the people explained the reason of rain before. They thought that the nature phenomenon is controlled by the deity in the sky. However, after realizing the knowledge of physics, watching the falling of the rain, everybody know the real reason is about the water in the air. That is why people use sprinkler in order to have some rain nowadays, instead of dancing and singing as people usually did in the past. As to the genetics, after studying the discipline, people are easy to explain why the baby of two yellow dogs is white. Although before learning the law of genetics, people may think it is strange and treat it as the present from god.  

Furthermore, after studying some academic disciplines, people have the ability to find the reason of the changes to the society. The laws of economy illustrate the point well. Without the knowledge of economic, it is difficult for people to find the rule of the price and the market. However, after studying the knowledge, it is no surprise that the price will go down when there are too many similar products in the market. People can vision a hand, which they have never seen before, contorling the whole market. The similar examples come to history and society. With enough knowledge of these realms, people will find the rules behind the changes of the society, uncovered from the countless events which fold their eyes before.

With the respect to the arts, it is the same that knowledge of the discipline give people a different realm of art. For example, the films. After seeing a screen of a man with a sad face and then the screen about murder of the president, people will directly think that the man is murderer without considering why. That is because they have not learnt about the method called montage. In a word, with the help of the knowledge about art, the audiences can see a different aspect of the music, the pictures, the literature, which contains more information about the art style, the method, and the meaning. Based on the principle, the experts can find the points about the works of art which can not be discovered by common people.

In sum, by virtue of the knowledge of academic disciplines, people can notice many points which was covered by the world they saw before. With the different screen of the world, people can notice more and more. That is how the world develops, and how it is controled by people day by day.


[ 本帖最后由 kitty_yy 于 2007-2-9 10:09 编辑 ]

janet89757UID: 2278716

The world is not the same as before for a person who has studied an academic discipline.（这句话看着好别扭） It is not the world that（has） changed, but the eyes of the person. Do the academic disciplines really have such magical ability? The answer of mine is 'yes'. Studying academic disciplines can help people discover the things they have neglected or are(were) puzzled with before, the solutions of which(which是指什么？这句话读着不顺) give them a different world.
Most of all, the knowledge of some academic disciplines can help people understand the phenomenon of the nature sciences（自然现象吧？用the nature就行了）. Consider how the(the 不要 加 ancient) people explained the reason of(不要) rain before. They thought that the nature phenomenon is controlled by the deity in the sky. However, after realizing the knowledge of physics（下雨好像是气象学meteorology知识解释的）, watching the falling of the rain, everybody（太绝对了吧？） know the real reason is about the water（water vapour） in the air. That is why people use sprinkler in order to have some rain nowadays, instead of dancing and singing as people usually did in the past. As to the genetics, after studying the discipline, people are easy to explain why the baby of two yellow dogs is white. Although before learning the law of genetics, people may think it is strange and treat it as the present from god. （这两个例子举的很好，很有说服力）
Furthermore, after studying some academic disciplines, people have the ability to find the reason of the changes to（in） the society. The laws of economy illustrate the point well. Without the knowledge of economic（economics）, it is difficult for people to find the rule of the price and the market. However, after studying the knowledge, it is no surprise that the price will go down when there are too many similar products in the market. People can vision a hand, which they have never seen before, controlling the whole market. The similar examples come to history and society. With enough knowledge of these realms, people will find the rules behind the changes of the society, uncovered from the countless events which fold their eyes before.
With the respect to the arts, it is the same that knowledge of the discipline give people a different realm of art. For example, the films. After seeing a screen of a man with a sad face and then the screen about murder of the president, people will directly think that the man is murderer without considering why. That is because they have not learnt about the method called montage. In a word, with the help of the knowledge about art, the audiences can see a different aspect of the music, the pictures, the literature, which contains more information about the art style, the method, and the meaning. Based on the principle, the experts can find the points about the works of art which can not be discovered by common people.

In sum, by virtue of the knowledge of academic disciplines, people can notice many points which was（were） covered by the world they saw before. With the different screen of the world, people can notice more and more. That is how the world develops, and how it is controled by people day by day.
例子举的都非常棒，作者从自然、社会和艺术的角度分析了学术观点影响人们视角的问题，分析的很全面。就有一点，觉得作者的英语虽然很流畅，但不是很地道。我想这篇作文除了这一点之外我再也找不到什么不妥的地方了。

kitty_yyUID: 2292666

谢谢啦
我的英语基础不好，也知道句子很不地道，就是不知道应该怎么提高才好……
有什么建议吗？