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[i习作temp] Issue114 【Persistence小组】第15次作业 [复制链接]

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发表于 2007-2-15 18:06:50 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
I144"It is the artist, not the critic,* who gives society something of lasting value."
*a person who evaluates works of art, such as novels, films, music, paintings, etc.
是艺术家而不是批评家,给了社会一些永久的价值。*批评家指经常评价艺术作品,例如小说、电影、音乐、绘画等的人

my position: Artist and critic both contribute to giving society something of lasting values.
1 It is the creation and talent of the artists that provide the society with something of last value.
2 Critics play an important role in calling the attention of general public to those great works and the constructive suggestions proposed by them could inspire artists to produce more better works.

Nowadays there is growing public concern over who gives the society something of lasting values, the artist or the critic. In my view,
the artists produce the works of art while the critics evaluates them, thus they both play an indispensable role in the issue.

In the first place, it is well known that, the works of art no matter which form it is, are the production of the artists' creativity and
talent. This point can be well understood by anyone who has a common sense. Without the effort of painters such as Van Gogh, we
would never be amazed by his greatest still life paints; without the hard work of Beethoven, it is quite impossible for us to be
enchanted in his excellent symphonies; and likewise without the diligence of Mark Twain, there is no chance for us to appreciate the
humor and wisdom in his ironical short stories. Thus, artists contribute a great deal to the society.

In the second place, the critics also have a significant influence on the creation and popularity of these works of art. Based on our own
experiences, the first time we hear that a new film will be on, we may not have the appetite to see it. However, later when we read
about some comments about the film from famous critics, no matter whether that is praise or criticism, our curiosity about whether the
film matches the comments will be provoked. At the same time, those who produced this film would come to learn that what are the
flaws in their work that they should improve next time, and what are the merits they should maintain. Through this way, more people
would be attracted to sit in the cinema to watch that film and more excellent works could be expected in the future. Further more, a
critics is often familiar with some sorts of art and have ceitain insights about those works, then though their intrepretation, the
laypersons could also understand the works well. As a result, the production of the artists can be accepted by the masses.

Thus, artists and critics should communicate and collaborate to a higher degree. By exchanging opinion with the artists, the critics will
stand to have a better understanding of what the artists really hope to express in his or her works and can supply the public with a
more insightful view. And conversely, the feedback offered by the critics would also help to inspire the artist to make some improvement in the works and to think out new ideas to produce more pieces of works of significance. Therefore, more benefits would be brought to the viewers, readers and the society as a whole.

To conclude, the artist and critics are supplement to each other in this issue. While the artist produces the beauty in any form of art,
the critic is the one who looks deep into it, find the value and introduce it to the general public. Only when they collaborate for this
common goal, will the society get more splendid works.
我要去美国!
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发表于 2007-2-25 00:11:13 |只看该作者
Nowadays there is growing public concern over who gives the society something of lasting values, the artist or the critic. In my view,
the artists produce the works of art while the critics evaluates them, thus they both play an indispensable role in the issue.

In the first place, it is well known that, the works of art no matter which form it is, are the production of the artists' creativity and
talent. This point can be well understood by anyone who has a common sense.(这句说的有点硬了) Without the effort of painters such as Van Gogh, we
would never be amazed by his greatest still life paints; without the hard work of Beethoven, it is quite impossible for us to be
enchanted in his excellent symphonies; and likewise without the diligence of Mark Twain, there is no chance for us to appreciate the
humor and wisdom in his ironical short stories. Thus, artists contribute a great deal to the society. (例子不错,但要加限定词,他们名人,加了限制之后会使论断更严谨)

In the second place, the critics also(个人感觉also加的有问题。Also=也,就是说critics的应该和上面的大致相同,但是the popularity在上文没有明确的提到。个人意见仅供参考) have a significant influence on the creation and popularity of these works of art. Based on our own
experiences, the first time we hear that a new film will be on, we may not have the appetite to see it. However, later when we read
about some comments about the film from famous critics, no matter whether that is praise or criticism, our curiosity about whether the
film matches the comments will be provoked. At the same time, those who produced this film would come to learn that what are the
flaws in their work that they should improve next time, and what are the merits they should maintain. Through this way, more people
would be attracted to sit in the cinema to watch that film and more excellent works could be expected in the future. (这个例子很好的,但是在语言上能改进点就更好了) Further more, a
critics is often familiar with some sorts of art and have(has) ceitain(certain) insights about those works, then though their intrepretation(interpretation), the
laypersons could also understand the works well. As a result, the production of the artists can be accepted by the masses. (这段论证总的来说不错,但是倒数两句的说服力欠缺点儿~)

Thus, artists and critics should communicate and collaborate to a higher degree. By exchanging opinion with the artists, the critics will
stand to have a better understanding of what the artists really hope to express in his or her works and can supply the public with a
more insightful view. And conversely, the feedback offered by the critics would also help to inspire the artist to make some improvement in the works and to think out new ideas to produce more pieces of works of significance. Therefore, more benefits would be brought to the viewers, readers and the society as a whole. (这段的作用不错,直接on balance了,但是个人不赞同exchanging opinion这种说法)

To conclude, the artist(+s) and critics are supplement to each other in this issue. While the artist produces the beauty in any form of art,
the critic is the one who looks deep into it, find the value and introduce(find&introduce 的时态不对) it to the general public. Only when they collaborate for this
common goal, will the society get more splendid works.
(论证思路很清晰。结构也不错,但是这篇的语法上的错误明显多于上次我改的那篇,大概是限时的缘故吧。感觉问题的分析能进一步的加深。 拖了这么久才改好实在抱歉阿)
Fall in love at first sight

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RE: Issue114 【Persistence小组】第15次作业 [修改]

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