[超越自我小组]第二次作业-issue50 狗狗=.=

啊拉UID: 2527432

题目：ISSUE50 - "In order to improve the quality of instruction at the college and university level, all faculty should be required to spend time working outside the academic world in professions relevant to the courses they teach."
字数：572          用时：00:46:27          日期：2008-8-6 16:28:59

Do the teachers need to spent more time on working outside the academic world in professions relevant to the courses they teach? In modern society, more and more people agree with this assertion because it can help teachers to gain more knowledge and experience so they can teach better in the school. I agree with this assertion insofar as working outside do bring some advantages to the teachers. However, working outside may also cause some problems the may handicap the quality of instruction.

Professors in the college always be the paranoia in our minds because they can study a simple question for more than ten years just like what will the world be a million years later and so on. Some professors owns the ability to study, but they don not know how to communicate. As the first schoolmaster of Harvard Eton had ever said hundreds years ago (and I paraphrase that):"Teaching ability is not the only way to judge a teacher is excellent or not, teachers are also the common persons." That is to say, a teacher should not only know how to teach or study, they also need to have some basic abilities to communicate with others or spent more time working outside to train these kinds of abilities. College professors should go outside the campus and choose something else to do, or they will be recognized as paranoia forever.

Second, the quality of instruction at the college can be improved if the teachers or professors spend time working outside the academic world in professions relevant to the courses they teach. As the famous education expert in China Yu Minghong had ever said (and I paraphrase it):"Education needs passion and creation. You can find both of them outside of the campus" If a teacher only knows to research or teach in the campus but never learn the thing outside the college, he/she cannot be the best teacher. Here is the example: Last year a new TV program attracts a lot of audience in China, which the name is "a hundreds teachers talk about the Chinese history". Most of the Chinese know this program and the teachers are all from the college in China. After showing in the TV, most of the professors said that they can now teach better in the university because they become more passion and confident. The students also showed tremendous interesting about these teachers: they said they would listen more carefully and study harder in these teacher's classes. Of course it will help the education level to improve.

Admittedly, sometimes working outside the academic world will lead the teachers to lose their energy or interesting in teaching. When the income working outside becomes higher and higher, teachers may no longer stay in the school. They will soon lose their interesting to teach or study, and the quality of instruction will be undoubtedly influenced by these teachers. So what the college needs to do is to call for a balance between teaching and working outside. I still believe that most of the teachers know that teaching is the most important thing they need to do.

In sum, I believe all the teachers need to have a chance to work outside to learn more and gain more experience because it is good for their teaching. But college or the teachers themselves should understand: education is their fortune and destiny. They should put the education on the first place every time.

hermituforestUID: 2354296

Do the teachers need to spent more time on working outside the academic world in professions relevant to the courses they teach? （不要随便把问句当中心句用，人家会期待你下面有一个回答。。可是你没有。。这个句子就很孤立，起不到作用，删掉效果更好）In modern society, more and more people agree with this assertion because it（which？） can help teachers to gain more knowledge and experience so they can teach better in the school. I agree with this assertion insofar as working outside do bring some advantages to the teachers. However, working outside may also cause some problems the may handicap（少用汉英字典，不用刻意追求所谓高级词汇，重要的是表达清楚自己的意思） the quality of instruction.

Quote from 《手把手教你GRE作文》：

GRE作文第一段有三点要求

1、             要有明确的立场

2、             要表现出作者对于题目复杂性或隐含意义有所理解

3、             要让读者了解上下文主要的观点

你只做到了第一点。。文章最好不要浪费篇幅重复题目的

Professors in the college always be the paranoia（不要用这种感情色彩的词形容teachers哦） in our minds because they can study a simple question for more than ten years just like what will the world be a million years later and so on. Some professors owns the ability to study, but they don not know how to communicate. （这个。。。不要如此绝对。。。）As the （statement that） first schoolmaster of Harvard Eton had ever said hundreds years ago (and I paraphrase that【which？】):"Teaching ability is not the only way to judge a teacher is excellent or not, teachers are also the common persons（people）." That is to say, a teacher should not only know（chinglish） how to teach or study, they also need to have some basic abilities to communicate with others or spent more time working outside to train these kinds of abilities. College professors should go outside the campus and choose something else to do, or they will be recognized as paranoia forever.
（缺乏交流能力就是偏执狂啊~~~teaching 也是一种工作，也需要和周围的人很好的沟通。。。说teachers 不出去工作就会缺乏沟通能力。。。这个~~你也没有证据来证实这个观点。）

Second, the quality of instruction at the college can be improved if the teachers or professors（一样） spend time working outside the academic world in professions relevant to the courses they teach. As the famous education expert in China Yu Minghong had ever said (and I paraphrase it):"Education needs passion and creation. You can find both of them outside of the campus" If a teacher only knows to research or teach in the campus but never learn the thing（which？---改成things） outside the college, he/she cannot be the best teacher. Here is the example: Last year a new TV program attracts a lot of audience in China, which the name is "a hundreds teachers talk about the Chinese history". Most of the Chinese know this program and the teachers are all from the college in China.（两者不表并列。。。这里用一个定语从句不是很好？） After showing in the TV, most of （变换下）the professors said that they can now teach better in the university because they become more passion and confident. The students also showed tremendous interesting about these teachers: they said they would listen more carefully and study harder in these teacher's classes. Of course it will help the education level to improve.（有点chinglish的感觉）

Admittedly, （这段先写更好点~）sometimes working outside the academic world will lead the teachers to lose their energy or interesting in teaching. When the income working outside becomes higher and higher, teachers may no longer stay in the school. They will soon lose their interesting to teach or study, and the quality of instruction will be undoubtedly influenced by these teachers. So what the college needs to do is to call for a balance between teaching and working outside. I still believe that most of the teachers know that teaching is the most important thing they need to do.

（teachers不想干了就不要干了么。。。学校要保证的是学生学到更有用的知识。。。不是防止辞职）

In sum, I believe all the teachers need to have a chance to work outside to learn more and gain more experience because it is good for their teaching. But college or the teachers themselves should understand: education is their fortune and destiny. They should put the education on the first place every time.

一点意见
1、语言需要加强。。建议翻译新四
2、千万不要用”偏执狂“这样的词。。。客观一点
3、结构在调整下
4、不要为了举例子而举例子。。。例子的目的其实只是提供论据
5、论证需要加强

水平有限。。。有不同意见欢迎探讨~~