COMEON作文小组------rougefish 9月7日作业

rougefishUID: 2321640

I do not agree with that advertisement is wasteful for a company and its reason of consumers know what they want.

To begin with, I concede that a great deal of advertisements flow into the world everyday and dazzle everybody alongside with the progress of modern technology and science. Indeed, not each advertisement would be noticed, since they are too many to recognized. That might be the reason why some people hold the opinion that spending time and money on advertising is a waste and people do not want such information. However, if the companies do not try to let customers know their products , how could they expect people know?

Furthermore, the success of advertisement have been demonstrated since it flourished in last century. Without the message “We do chicken right”, how could Chinese know there is an expert on fried chicken named KFC from US. Without the big “M” like a double golden bridge, how could Chinese recognize that Mc Donald is a new restaurant from the States. Without such outstanding advertising design, more products from US also could not be accepted so easily in China even in US itself. Thus, a good advertisement is useful undoubtedly.

In addition, people find their wants and needs often from the information given by related advertisements. Correspondingly, good advertising usually attracts the objects for a certain products successfully. If it could not make the potential customers to notice the products, it would be a failure case. For example, two similar manufactures of vacuum-packed Peking Duck in Beijing, Henghui and Shuanghui, the former one is an local brand whereas the latter is an famous brand in China. So when the visitors are going to buy ducks and take back home, they are prone to choose the Shuanghui. Actually, almost local people know that the Henghui is better. Thus, a good advertisement definitely could help extending the business.

To conclude, as far as analysis and reasons concerned above, no matter how much money and time spend on advertising, it is clearly that the potential costumers should be given the information about the products, and an excellent advertisements should let itself outstand from hundreds of  thousands of similar way for propulsion .

ourtransUID: 2241441

I do not agree with（应该去掉，agree that或者agree with sb.) that advertisement is wasteful for a company and its reason of consumers know what they want.(it指代不清，主谓关系不对，reason know what they want？？另外，第一段仅有一句话略显单薄。)
To begin with, I concede that a great deal of advertisements flow into the world everyday and dazzle everybody alongside with the progress of modern technology and science. Indeed, not each advertisement would be noticed, since they are too many to recognized. That might be the reason why some people hold the opinion that spending time and money on advertising is a waste and people do not want such information. However, if the companies do not try to let customers know their products , how could they expect people know? （这一段没有明确的论点，或许把前两段合成一段更好）
Furthermore, the success of advertisement have been demonstrated since it flourished in last century. Without the message “We do chicken right”, how could Chinese know there is an expert on fried chicken named KFC from US.（问句不好，应改掉这个中文表达中的习惯，直接用陈述语序。） Without the big “M” like a double golden bridge, how could Chinese recognize that Mc Donald is a new restaurant from the States. Without such outstanding advertising design, more products from US also could not be accepted so easily in China even in US itself（这里没看明白，另外even不是连词，不能连接两个成分，LZ是想表达even than in US吗？）. Thus, a good advertisement is useful undoubtedly.
In addition, people find their wants and needs（只用一个needs就可以了） often from the information given by related （relevant更好）advertisements. Correspondingly, good advertising usually attracts the objects（target group更好些） for a certain products successfully. If it could not make the（the在这里不需要） potential customers to notice the products, it would be a failure case. For example, two similar manufactures of vacuum-packed Peking Duck in Beijing, Henghui and Shuanghui, the former one is an local brand whereas the latter is an famous brand in China（local brand和famous brand不对应，用nationwide brand更好些）. So when the（不是特指某一群visitors的话，就不能用the） visitors are going to buy ducks and take back home, they are prone to choose the Shuanghui. Actually, almost local people know that the Henghui is better. Thus, a good advertisement definitely could help extending the business. （这个例子不是很恰当，并没有提到这个两个企业的advertisement，最好叙述一下一个做了广告让全国人民都知道了，另外一个没做）
To conclude, as far as analysis（复数的analyses是不是更好？） and reasons concerned above, no matter how much money and time spend on advertising, it is clearly that the potential costumers should be given the information about the products, and an excellent advertisements should let itself outstand from hundreds of  thousands of similar way for propulsion .

词汇量对LZ来说不成问题了，多注意一下基本语法，减少或者尽量不用反问句。
一点拙见。

rougefishUID: 2321640

非常非常感谢楼上的修改，遇到高手了啊，希望还能有幸领教:handshake

chuntianzhongUID: 2544140

LZ的英语水平也太次了吧。
用词很奇怪，无语感。
基础太差。
就这也敢考“寄托”？

chuntianzhongUID: 2544140

:vomit: