【【【【【以理服人】】】】】小组作文第二贴

wk4aUID: 2616910

ISSUE51："Education will be truly effective only when it is specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student."

摘录了一段分析，仅供参考！

关键词：教育，有效，个人需求，专门设计
核心是：什么是有效的教育
1定义文中“教育”的概念－根据题目意图，这里特指教育机构中的教育而不是广义教育
2什么是教育－对基本世界观的树立和描述＋基础技能的训练＋个人职业方向的引导和鼓励
3可得－在没有对世界有全局把握时，学生是不会知道自己都有什么选择，就更不会知道个人需求什么
4可得2－在有了全局把握以后，如果教育者单方面的灌输统一的价值判断，而不是引导学生建立自己的判断体系，培养出来的都是大同小异的人，也是同样不可取
5可得3－只有当学生自我发现了自己的兴趣，学校给与了基本技能的培养，让他们自己走向职业岗位，为社会创造价值，并且自己又做得满开心，才是最”有效“的利用了资源。而这，才是“有效的教育”的最终目标。

A51：Doctors have long suspected that secondary infections may keep some patients from healing quickly after severe muscle strain. This hypothesis has now been proved by preliminary results of a study of two groups of patients. The first group of patients, all being treated for muscle injuries by Dr. Newland, a doctor who specializes in sports medicine, took antibiotics regularly throughout their treatment. Their recuperation time was, on average, 40 percent quicker than typically expected. Patients in the second group, all being treated by Dr. Alton, a general physician, were given sugar pills, although the patients believed they were taking antibiotics. Their average recuperation time was not significantly reduced. Therefore, all patients who are diagnosed with muscle strain would be well advised to take antibiotics as part of their treatment.”
[翻译]
医生长期以来怀疑严重肌肉扭伤后的二次感染妨碍了一些患者迅速康复。这一假说现在被一项对两组患者的研究的初步结果所证实。第一组患者全部由专攻运动医学的Dr. Newland治疗肌肉损伤，他们在疗程中经常服用抗生素。他们的康复期平均比通常预期的快40％。第二组患者由综合医师Dr. Alton治疗，他们被给予糖丸，而患者相信他们在服用抗生素。他们的平均康复时间没有明显缩短。因此，任何被确诊为肌肉损伤的患者应被建议服用抗生素作为辅助治疗

还是那句话，注意审题，改作文是多改思路，不要只看别人的语法错误，那样进步极小。

不允许连续2次不交作业，
不允许连续3次只写Issue或只写Argument，
不允许连续2次都不批改别人的文章
交作业时间：每日24:00前，(其实也就是第二天的6:00前，不支持大家熬夜写)

交作业方式：
每次有新作业，我会新开帖子，大家跟帖贴作业就行。
请不要把每次的作业都贴在同一楼里 严禁占楼不交作业行为！


改作业时间：
第二日21:00前 改在该同学作业贴楼下，也可用word文档上传 (我还不知道怎么上传呢....)
[e.g 7月8日别人写的作业你要在7月9日21:00前改完]

【互改要求】
1.批改以直接粘贴方式在作业大帖上回复
2.批改别人作业时需兼顾语法问题，注意词汇句式多样性，重点梳理逻辑谋篇，建议将自己的想法和要点进行分享。
3.批改时纠错用红色标注，值得学习的地方用蓝色标注。
4.批改后从语法、词汇、逻辑三个方面分别打分。
具体评分标准见https://bbs.gter.net/thread-939927-1-1.html页末的下载。


PS.请小组成员自己纠正拼写和基本语法错误之后再上传。

在帖子下面回帖，无需新开帖。
请小组成员按时交作文，以及批改每个组员的文章。这样每篇文章会被改数遍，收获多多。

网兜妮妮UID: 2612538

I 50
提纲
1理论和实践不一定一定要联系起来才有价值。
2 还有别的很多方法来提高教师的教学水平。
3 过度提倡教学外工作会分散精力，反而有违初衷。

正文683
Faculty always acts as a vital role in school, especially in colleges and universities. A knowledgeable and experienced professor can teach students more than what the text book display, and that's the reason why we often need a teacher than study by oneself. As society needs better students, students need better teachers, and universities need to enhance its quality of instruction and to appeal students and ultimately to satisfied the need of society. However, simply require all faculty to spend time working outside is a way to improve the quality of teaching, but in some areas, it is not a wise way.
Someone argues teachers may teach a better lesson when they have some work experience. Only the theory combines with the real work, can it make sense. But is it really true? Every area needs theory and practice. But these two can be apart, even for many centuries. For example, to real observe that sun is the center of the universe is far later than the sun-center theory. Actually, a theory can be valuable in itself. Examples like Stephen Hawkins’s cosmic theory. If we require a teacher who taught cosmology to work outside the academic world----maybe a work to make observations, and assert it is good to improve his/her quality of instruction, It is ridiculous because it would be fruitless and of no connection with teaching level. So, it is not a wise idea. Moreover, some other declines can be hardly found a relevant area with professor’s professions, like math and foundation physics, without the experience; can these teachers do nothing to teach a better lesson? Or should these teachers be fired?
In fact, when we look insight to this statement's purpose---- to improve the quality of teaching level, it can be found that spending time working in relevant jobs is not only way, I mean there are many other different and more effective means, to achieve the same goal. for example, to a teacher who taught history, the discussion with other history experts always spur his ideas; to a chemistry professor, more experiment is needed to test the finding; to a teacher whose inquiry is cross-culture, traveling to other countries is not only to relax but to spark his thought, and even in the area of law----where one might think that practice must surly reside----do some inquiry in different place and using the time doing more reading is equal the lawyer experience, and do forth. Therefore, different areas need different ways to improve the quality of teaching, and find the best is better to require the same way----as to do the relevant works outside.
On the other hand, even this requirement is a necessary to some course, it is vital for teachers to well-balance the teaching and working in their schedule, otherwise, the working not only make no use to improve their quality of teaching but collapse their energy once focused on it. In law school and commercial school, after graduate, these students will finally go to society to deal with people, as their major indicate. So what they want to learn in university is not only knowledge but interpersonal skills. And case study always shows up good results. With the outside experience, teachers’ renew their knowledge and students benefit from tips from and get a map about their future work. It is a wise idea. But in my college, our civil law teacher also works as a lawyer in a company and receive the case during summer holidays, even weekend. As a result, she is often late to class and pay half the time to our essays and discussion, which goes to a adverse consequence. Nevertheless, the professor should well range their time in working and teaching, or it will run to the different side of the requirement primary goes.
In sum, to improve the quality of instruction at the university, more than one way is needed. Using diverse way in different area----to find the fittest---- is wiser than only pushing one means to all courses. And to any singe means, it is necessary to recheck if it goes too far that against our innovate purpose.

网兜妮妮UID: 2612538

我想问一下这个改作业的模式到底是啥，好像有点乱~~
我的作业见下，先贴吧。

emily_feifeiUID: 2626151

29# ajier
谢谢！
most interns in hospitals should never choose their specialty in the first few years.  我的意思是医院的实习生在头几年是不可以选定他们今后的主攻方向，比如心脏外科啊，脑外科啊之类的。看Grey's Anatomy知道的。
那个颜色就是那样的，我都是后来重新编辑下。
我觉得我就是很罗嗦~导致文章里有些话重复很多~诶~
语言上我觉得你比我好很多的~再次感谢你的意见！

ajierUID: 2643095

不知道为什么贴上去不对了~~字体原本是红色的~~不好意思

ajierUID: 2643095

28# emily_feifei


Such statement reminds me of a brilliant Chinese ancient philosopher and educator, Confucius, who advocated specialized education for disparate个人感觉这个词不大准确，不过不一定对，我的词汇也不好，建议查一下WEBSTER students. Respectable as he is, this assertion should never be completely accepted by descendants.会不会太绝对？
Let us first consider the word "effective", which means producing a desired effect. Then if only the specialized education were considered as "effective", an inevitable problem would emerge, which means
可以删掉吧，这个重复比较多
that “problem”后面最好用whether..or not we need much more teachers to cater for each individual's needs and interests. Unfortunately, we notice that along with the development of the society, the population of the world has been soaring. As a result, the increase rate of the number of teachers could not catch up with that of students. Imagine that what if some minority groups of students are fortunate enough to receive such "effective" education, ？ what can we do to meet the demands of the rest of the majority of students.不懂这句什么意思 If such scenario came true, how can we proclaim loudly that our education is effective? Clearly, we can see that an overall effective education is conditional.
In view of this, we may be puzzled that how can we define an effective education if we don't meet the specific needs of students? I should point out that obtaining the basic knowledge and value system in a certain society does not need specifically designed education. What is meant这个句式在文章中重复太多，换种方式看看？ by this is that the young being naive, they barely know what they want in their very childhood. They receive whatever we adults give. In this sense, they should be only好像应该换一下位置 taught to distinguish right from evil两个词最好be opposite and grasp the fundamental knowledge. Anything else should reach them only when they gain the ability to tell if which is for their own taste.
what is to their own taste.
Otherwise, it will be a waste of teaching resources. We observe that even after students step into the university, it is very likely that in their first two years, they are only permitted to take public fundamental classes. Moreover, most interns in hospitals should never choose their specialty in the first few years. ?这句话什么意思？It is only when students gain the basic knowledge that they can form a perspective of overall situation.没有主句
Otherwise, their view will be narrowed, which will have side effects on their growing up.
Whereas when it comes to true interests which are based on mastering elementary knowledge, specialized education is by no means dispensable. Most individuals have different interests; even those who share similar interests have dissimilar ability to gain knowledge. Tutors have the responsibility to identify a proper way to goad觉得不好
disparate students. Take learning to compile computer programs for example, those who are much more patient are more suitable to do some testing work; while those who have strong logical ability would be better to complete analyzing work. Therefore we realize that even exploring in a same field, different people can focus on different aspects out of their own characteristics, which will make the whole task to be completed much more effectively. Tutors should have an insight on these and guide their students to different directions which are fit for themselves.这段的观点、例子很不错！
To conclude, there exists no specifically designed education as a whole; effective education is conditional. Students should gain basic knowledge in the first place, and then only after they have true interests in some specialties, a specialized education can produce a decided effect which we can finally reckon it as effective.
总结得很好！

建议：每段之间的联系和转折关系需要加强下~
我不怎么会修改文章，多多见谅！



其他人的文章都已经被改过了o(∩_∩)o...

多谢以楼上两位对我作文的修改！

emily_feifeiUID: 2626151

麻烦大家看看我的issue哦~

wk4aUID: 2616910

Ever since the emergence of school, our educators, professors, teachers and even students themselves would and should consider about two questions: What are the significance and goals of education? How can we fulfill it effectively?  
(新东方的老师说疑问式的开头不要直接问原题，不过我觉得你这样写也挺好的)

In my opinion, the goal of education is to raise children into independent ones with their own views about value, life, and the whole world. This refers to the general idea of education. When it comes to school education, the goals embody in teaching students proper ways to learn about both the outer and inner worlds, passing knowledge and skills on to them so that they can serve and better the society for the welfare of all human beings.
（虽然说明了什么是教育，但是没有结合题目，加上和个人兴趣和需要的关系放入概括要更好，为下段铺垫）

Admittedly, we should respect the needs and interests of each student because I always believe that everyone is unique! What's more important, the interest is always the best teacher. Interest will give one the consistent power and refreshable passion to explore. Driving by the curiousness, student may feel a strong need to learn much more. As long as they uncover their own needs and interests, the desire of knowledge will always be on fire! At that time, everyone will be diligent and be devoted to study even out the sight of teachers or parents. They get to know the essence of study: They are not learning for the test, the degree, the future job or anyone else, but themselves. Bill Gates followed his own interest at the cost of giving up Harvard's bachelor. However, he became the best-known dropout of Harvard and got back his degree as a honor several years later. This may not be a good example because the success of Bill seems have little to do with the education of university. Nevertheless, he realized his real interest at Harvard. We would never say it's just a coincidence.
（这段不错，有理有据，但是不要用gates这种用滥了的例子了）

Unfortunately, not everybody could be Bill Gates. And the "specific design" for each individual appears too ridiculous and impracticable. The limited education resources we have now can never fill the numerous demands for each one, let alone special design. Given that each student has a particular school which only belongs to him\her, where the teachers can tail the changes of the only student's thoughts and offer proper induction, where the facilities are applied in the request of the student as soon as possible, then the suggestion may be realized.

In addition, how can we ensure that the students know their real needs or interests? To an adult, that is also a puzzled pump sometimes. As the rapid changing of modern society, we are exposed to various choices wherever and whenever. At this moment, one may fall in love with painting, then he may be fascinated by the moving melody of piano at the nest second. Of course, one person do could hold several interests at the same time, but who has enough energy to follow all of them for all his life? Should our education indulge an immature and half-hearted student to decide what to learn at will? What's more, if students all develop in their own pattern, the needs of society may be overlooked. We can never make sure that all the students educated by this way will exactly meet every post of the society. Finally, the welfare of whole humankind may be sacrificed at the call of so-called effective education.
（转折的不错，上下两段连起来也行，更加合理。只是否定的太绝对，最好不要说stupid之类的词，不是书面语并且说绝了肯定有问题。在这段否定之后也应该提出自己的意见，不要到最后再说。这样连贯写。）

How could we respect everyone's particularity as well as satisfy the basic demand of our society so that we may insure the regular operation of it? We come back to the original question:" what's the effective education?"
（写着写着又写回去了，不适合这种小文章，个人喜欢一气呵成）

In my eyes, we should offer a basal education of methods, logic and all kinds of essential subjects such as language and mathematics. When students grow old enough to make choices by their own, we should offer different types of knowledge and skills, which might be generally divided, to them. At the same time, provide enough time and resources for them to try other things, find about themselves, develop and pursue their own interests at last. Wish they were luckily enough to follow their dreams and make contributions to the society at the same time.
（文章最后有点不切题。应该强调那不是the only，提出Alternative就好。）

文章总的来说很好，没有突出的语法问题，就是审题还要更深入一点。

wk4aUID: 2616910

How fantastic would it be if every student grows up in a free university where courses are purposely designed for each one of them? Students learn exactly what they desire to learn, devoting all their heart in selected subjects, and most important of all, they enjoy them. Without doubt, such an amazing education system could be effective and agreeable, but it is not the only way.

To meet the individual needs and interests of students does have some great significance for outstanding education as each one of them is so special and various. Encouraging and assisting students to purely follow their most profound desire to learn could exploit potential in each one of them. Mozart, a well-known genius, was given his first violin as he requested, and received relevant training according to his interest. Such specific education enables the ever greatest musician composed enchanting melody. But if Mozart was forced to pick up a painting brush, I am afraid that no education could help him to bring us another Mona Lisa.

However, whimsical and vigorous as students are, constantly switching from one need or interest to another may lead them to nothing but a conclusion that they are good for nothing. As a result, relatively compelling education system is of quite essentiality to make sure students on the right course which leads them to agreeable life, in stead of merely following their interests. Also, without such strain, detrimental social phenomenon like using drugs and adoring violence may easily attract students. In school, considering students have no exact understanding about rights and wrongs, and have not fully exploit their own need and interest, it is teachers' responsibility to correctly develop them.

Indeed, education is most ideal when it is specifically designed for every single student taking their needs, interests, talents and available time into consideration. But such delicacy design would inevitably takes too much social resource to which extent beyond the acceptance of overall budget. As a result, society calls for a balanced and necessary education system, instructing basic theory, skills, and moral standard. After all, human beings are like plants, so good at absorbing from surroundings that as long as the basic direction is correctly set, can grow exuberantly. Take a look at Amazon Rain Forest, even every spices owns their basic DNA sequence, but no plant turns out be the same shape as they grow in different environment, which makes them so unique and special, and contributes to the biodiversity. Nature has showed us what efficiency is.

As long as students are able to learn, to work, to help, to love, the education does fail us. We may know numerous road to Rome, but which is the shortest and which is the fittest, should be considered.

mellon_lUID: 2364758

23# ajier
Ever since the emergence of school, our educators, professors, teachers and even students themselves would and should consider about two questions: What are the significance and goals of education? How can we fulfill it effectively?  
In my opinion, the goal of education is to raise children into independent ones with their own views about value, life, and the whole world. This refers to the general idea of education.你要表达的意思应该是教育的目的视乎其定义而异，但是refer to 用的好像不对，我觉得 when we refer to school education particularly, the goals…就可以了 When it comes to school education, the goals embody in teaching students proper ways to learn about both the outer and inner worlds, passing knowledge and skills on to them so that they can serve and better 不知可否用作动词the society for the welfare of all human beings.
Admittedly, we should respect the needs and interests of each student because I always believe that everyone is unique! 这也是一个让步观点，为什么不论述一下呢？我觉得这点和接下来的一点可以均匀一下笔墨，共同构成让步段，不然兴趣的作用好像只有一个似的，显得比较单薄What's more important, the interest is always the best teacher. Interest will give one the consistent power and refreshable passion to explore. Driving by the curiousness curiosity, student may feel a strong need to learn much可以删掉 more. As long as they uncover their own needs and interests, the desire of knowledge will always be on fire! At that time, everyone will be diligent and be devoted to study even out the sight of teachers or parents. They get to know the essence of study: They are not learning for the test, the degree, the future job or anyone else, but themselves. Bill Gates followed his own interest at the cost of giving up Harvard's bachelor. However, he became the best-known dropout of Harvard and got back his degree as a honor several years later. This may not be a good example because the success of Bill seems have little to do with the education of university.这个问题我在看例子的时候也有想到，自己现在写的时候也有想到，因为虽然它例证了兴趣的重要性，但是明没有说明为兴趣而设置的课程的重要性。在我的作文我我最终没有采用，但是你这里在用这个例子时自己提出了这个问题，我想既然说圆了应该就ok吧 Nevertheless, he realized his real interest at Harvard. We would never say it's just a coincidence.
Unfortunately, not everybody could be Bill Gates. And the "specific design" for each individual appears too ridiculous and impracticable. The limited education resources we have now can never fill the numerous demands for each one, let alone special design. Given that each student has a particular school which only belongs to him\her, where the teachers can tail the changes of the only student's thoughts and offer proper induction, where the facilities are applied in the request of the student as soon as possible, then the suggestion may be realized.
In addition, how can we ensure that the students know their real needs or interests? To an adult, that is also a puzzled pump sometimes. As the rapid changing of modern society, we are exposed to various choices wherever and whenever. At this moment, one may fall in love with painting, then he may be fascinated by the moving melody of piano at the nest second. 我觉得这段很好，从兴趣变化这个角度来写Of course, one person do could hold several interests at the same time, but who has enough energy to follow all of them for all his life? Should our education indulge an immature and half-hearted student to decide what to learn at will? What's more, if students all develop in their own pattern, the needs of society may be overlooked. We can never make sure that all the students educated by this way will exactly meet every post of the society. Finally, the welfare of whole humankind may be sacrificed at the call of so-called effective education.
How could we respect everyone's particularity as well as satisfy the basic demand of our society so that we may insure the regular operation of it? We come back to the original question:" what's the effective education?"
In my eyes, we should offer a basal education of methods, logic and all kinds of essential subjects such as language and mathematics. When students grow old enough to make choices by their own, we should offer different types of knowledge and skills, which might be generally divided, to them. At the same time, provide enough time and resources for them to try other things, find about themselves, develop and pursue their own interests at last. Wish they were luckily enough to follow their dreams and make contributions to the society at the same time.
问——答——问——答构成方式很好！

mellon_lUID: 2364758

21# emily_feifei
谢谢这么详细的修改！
第一段说应该先学基础知识，但是你的侧重点应该是基础知识不需要specially designed，而不是基础知识的重要性。我觉得非常正确，是自己当初写时没有考虑到，所以没有完全从题目的角度写。
改的真的非常详细，再次感谢！一起加油！

ajierUID: 2643095

issue 51    严重超时

Ever since the emergence of school, our educators, professors, teachers and even students themselves would and should consider about two questions: What are the significance and goals of education? How can we fulfill it effectively?  

In my opinion, the goal of education is to raise children into independent ones with their own views about value, life, and the whole world. This refers to the general idea of education. When it comes to school education, the goals embody in teaching students proper ways to learn about both the outer and inner worlds, passing knowledge and skills on to them so that they can serve and better the society for the welfare of all human beings.

Admittedly, we should respect the needs and interests of each student because I always believe that everyone is unique! What's more important, the interest is always the best teacher. Interest will give one the consistent power and refreshable passion to explore. Driving by the curiousness, student may feel a strong need to learn much more. As long as they uncover their own needs and interests, the desire of knowledge will always be on fire! At that time, everyone will be diligent and be devoted to study even out the sight of teachers or parents. They get to know the essence of study: They are not learning for the test, the degree, the future job or anyone else, but themselves. Bill Gates followed his own interest at the cost of giving up Harvard's bachelor. However, he became the best-known dropout of Harvard and got back his degree as a honor several years later. This may not be a good example because the success of Bill seems have little to do with the education of university. Nevertheless, he realized his real interest at Harvard. We would never say it's just a coincidence.

Unfortunately, not everybody could be Bill Gates. And the "specific design" for each individual appears too ridiculous and impracticable. The limited education resources we have now can never fill the numerous demands for each one, let alone special design. Given that each student has a particular school which only belongs to him\her, where the teachers can tail the changes of the only student's thoughts and offer proper induction, where the facilities are applied in the request of the student as soon as possible, then the suggestion may be realized.

In addition, how can we ensure that the students know their real needs or interests? To an adult, that is also a puzzled pump sometimes. As the rapid changing of modern society, we are exposed to various choices wherever and whenever. At this moment, one may fall in love with painting, then he may be fascinated by the moving melody of piano at the nest second. Of course, one person do could hold several interests at the same time, but who has enough energy to follow all of them for all his life? Should our education indulge an immature and half-hearted student to decide what to learn at will? What's more, if students all develop in their own pattern, the needs of society may be overlooked. We can never make sure that all the students educated by this way will exactly meet every post of the society. Finally, the welfare of whole humankind may be sacrificed at the call of so-called effective education.

How could we respect everyone's particularity as well as satisfy the basic demand of our society so that we may insure the regular operation of it? We come back to the original question:" what's the effective education?"

In my eyes, we should offer a basal education of methods, logic and all kinds of essential subjects such as language and mathematics. When students grow old enough to make choices by their own, we should offer different types of knowledge and skills, which might be generally divided, to them. At the same time, provide enough time and resources for them to try other things, find about themselves, develop and pursue their own interests at last. Wish they were luckily enough to follow their dreams and make contributions to the society at the same time.

ajierUID: 2643095

19# emily_feifei


谢谢鼓励！大家一起加油！

明天一定回改作文！组长说一人只要另一人的~不过大家有时间尽量多改吧~

在保证交作业改作业同时，希望大家不要因此乱了自己复习的步子，加油吧！

emily_feifeiUID: 2626151

11# mellon_l
Effective education aims at firstly shaping students as fully developed（是想说全面发展么？那应该是well-rounded） human and also preparing the next generation to function well as a part of society. In order to achieve the two goals, I believe that common fundamental courses are indispensible; meanwhile education should be designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student to some extent.（这个开头让我有种你不敢得罪ETS的题目的感觉）

Common fundamental courses are necessary for two main reasons. First, basic knowledge benefits people’s life. Generally speaking, students are asked to take mathematic, language and etc（说了ect就不要and了） as the obligatory courses in junior or senior high school. This long term traditional arrangement indicates the significance those???(是of吧) basic knowledge or skills in students’ future life. Mathematics enables students to finish a comparably complex calculation in daily life such as balancing family income and outcome. Teaching of history makes them know the past of their own country and foreign countries. This knowing???(改成Knowing these吧，虽然也没啥水平。) will help students form an overall and long-term point of view in situation analyzing???(想说什么). Another importance(汗死！没你这么说的吧，太中式了。你可以说another part of the importance) of those common courses is that they are the basis for students to discover and develop an interest in a certain subject. Only when students have a general concept, they could have the sparks of interests. For instance, a student who never learns the system of English language will not reach the concept of pragmatics, not even mention having any interests in it(这什么论据？没接触过语法会更有兴趣吧。). A seed will grow up to a plant and bloom only when the soil is rich enough, and the common fundamental course are the rich soil which needs students first to explore. （Bravo）

Since basic knowledge and skills are well equipped, students should follow their needs and interests in school to have a deeper understanding of a certain field. From the aspect of learning, this pursuing(pursuit) is strongly motivated. It’s said that “interests is(主谓一致啊) the best tutor(你和jessiejie用了同样的典故，但是说法是不一样的，是不是讨论下地道的该怎么写)”. What’s more, a research done in my university shows that students who take course they choose themselves spend more time in task finish and reading relevant books; the attendance is also comparably higher than in other classes. That is to say, interests or needs make those students choose the course, then they are stronger motivated to learn. And I believe that once they have progress in the subject, they will be more interested (感觉这个要加上in sth.)and more eager to learn it(they will have more interest and be more eager to ……). Here it forms a positive circle and will lead to deeply(这个是形容抽象的事物) understand about one field and finally contribute better(我不知道能不能这么用) to the society.

From the aspect of social needs, specified education is also necessary. Nowadays, labor division is more and more specific and accurate. This calls for specialists in each field or at least specified ability in certain subject. On the basis of overall education and training, students, the future social constructors, should receive specified education in order to function in different jobs in future. Someone may argue that students’ interests may not fit into social needs.(这句话偏题了吧，后面就与主题不太相关了) I hold that since labor division is human made rather than natural formed or existing, there should be the first person who have interests in certain subject. Since there is the first one, why we deny existence of the latter second, third or thousand students with interests? Human needs and interests are multivariate. I believe that special designed education will meet the needs of social labor division.

I have claimed my opinion that education should be both general and also special designed. However, there are still some potential obstacles in carrying out special designed education. How to allocate teaching resources such as teacher, classroom for each subject? How to evaluate and compare students’ performance since their needs or interests may not different? All the questions need further research and practice. (这段让步好！)

To sum up, basic knowledge and skill teaching?(teaching skills?还是别的意思) combines with specially designed course according to students’ needs and interests will contribute the effective education. Though the practical application is not yet mature, I believe that we are on the bright road towards effective education right now.

第一段说应该先学基础知识，但是你的侧重点应该是基础知识不需要specially designed，而不是基础知识的重要性。
第二段的论证过得去，但是第三段中间又有点偏。让步段不错。
我觉的我也有这个问题，在写的过程中有时没法一直focus on the key words.

emily_feifeiUID: 2626151

13# jessiejie
Issue 51"Education will be truly effective only when it is specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student."

How to educate students more effective? Nowadays, more and more people emphasize individualism, so the speaker asserts in order to educate students effectively education should be designed to meet every student’s needs and interests. As far as I am concerned, it is a good idea(这句话真没水平啊，按照你的理解我觉得可以这么说，such idea seems to be an Utopian dream. 这样把后面的也删掉吧。), but too difficult to carry out in reality.

Admittedly, as what Einstein once said, interest is the best teacher. Without doubts, pursuing knowledge and enhancing competence is a hard process. During our daily lives, we can find if we don’t like something, we won’t want to learn it. However, if we are interested in something, nothing can prevent us, and we will devote ourselves to it regardless of its hardship and anguish. Consequently, we will view it as happiness. In reality, different students have differed intellect levels and personalities; therefore students have various interests and needs. Obviously, how can we adopt the same teaching contents and methods for all the students? Nowadays, more and more people suggest that our education should be altered according to students’ traits and talents.


However, there are different purposes during the process of education, 改; it isn't possible（感觉这不太像人话，一般大家都用双重否定，你这就一重否定，直接it is impossible人家看得也没那么绕，这不是GRE阅读啊！） that whole education can fulfill students' interests and demands.  First, the purpose of primary schools and high schools is providing general knowledge and correct values and ideas. The former includes verbal, math, chemistry, physics, music, art and so on, and latter includes moral, regulation, ideal and life, etc. Modern people must possess all these in order to survive. So it is suitable to design uniform courses. Of course, students’ various interests and personalities can be properly considered. For example, schools can open some extracurricular classes to meet students’ needs and interests. Second, the purpose of colleges and universities is, according to students’ individual interests, offering numerous courses to them or conduct them separately. They have adequate freedom to choose what they really like, thereby they could be easily motivated and their potential talents could likely be explored. Ultimately, students can find their interests and prepare their career well. In addition, some special educations, such as occupational education and skill training, should be designed to individuals due to their special learning contents. Therefore, specifically designed education is not suitable at every education levels. (这段论证稍微绝对了点，大学的论据我也用了，但是大学头两年是specially的么？都是公共基础课啊，老美更是了！)

Moreover, the realization of specifically designed courses is troubled by a lot of problems in reality, although they can meet individual interests and needs. The problems include the lack of teaching resources, limitation of teacher’s qualification, the scientific design of courses and concrete teaching methods, and the most significant problem is money. Even in developed countries and areas, it is difficult to achieve it not mention to developing countries and areas, where traditional teaching methods and contents are still effective（为什么effective？证据呢？不要喊口号。）.

In conclusion, though interest is very important, which represents the development（是不是应该用developing） direction of modern education; it is too hard to achieve the goal. Education should focus on general knowledge and basic skills training, so students could develop personal interests on this foundation. Thus, every student could make a contribution to the society after graduation, where the real purpose of effective education lies in.
语言上要继续加油。最大的问题是我觉得审题有偏差，你第一段说的是specially designed education的好处，后面说的是它不容实现。可是你忽视了题目还有一个关键词effective。文章应该着重说specially designed education是否effective。

Argument 51

In this argument, the arguer claims that all patients who are diagnosed with muscle strain should take antibiotics as part of their treatment, because secondary infections may keep some patients from healing quickly. To support the conclusion, the arguer cites preliminary results of a study and makes a comparison of two groups of patients. At the first sight, the argument appears reasonable, but under careful examination, there are many critical fallacies.

First and foremost, one problem with the argument is the arguer primarily relies on a study of two groups of patients, and then concludes that antibiotics work efficiently in treating muscle strain. However, the arguer fails to consider possible differences between these two group members, such as patients’ age, gender, health and the degree of injuries. It is possible that patients in first group are younger and healthier than those in second group, or perhaps patients in the first group are mild injured while patients in second group suffer from serious muscle strains. Without ruling out these factors, the argument is unconvincing. Thus, it is unwarranted to claim that their recovery is due to antibiotics. Besides, the experience and capacity of two doctors will influence recuperation time. Generally speaking, doctor who specializes in sports medicine knows how to solve muscle strain better than a general physician. Consequently his patients recover faster probably owing to his specialized capacity and effective treatment, but not because of taking antibiotics. (其实你说的挺好的，但是你把实验样本问题和实验方法问题混在一段就不太好吧)

In addition, the arguer considers that patients in the second group do not realize that their medication is replaced by sugar pills, yet provides no evidence to verify it. Moreover, the arguer doesn’t demonstrate whether the pills have negative impact on the patients’ recovery. Therefore, any of above analysis, if true, would undermine the argument. (这点很好！我没有想到。)

Furthermore, even though antibiotics are effective to treating muscle strain, it is hasty to reach a general assertion that all patients diagnosed with muscle strain should take it as part of their treatment. On one hand, it is not necessary for all patients, because maybe some of them do not suffer from secondary infection. On the other hand, the arguer doesn’t consider the problems that antibiotics bring, for example, side effects and allergy(allergy应该算是副作用一种吧).

Finally, the arguer assumes that the result of the study could substantiate the hypothesis, which implies that the secondary infections may prevent patients from healing quickly after severe muscle strain. However, the result of the study proves nothing about this hypothesis, because it does not show that these patients are suffered from secondary infections. (我觉这点放最前面说好，直接说它假设不成立，后面再让步说即使成立怎样的。)

In a word, the conclusion, in this argument, isn’t warranted and persuasive as it stands. To strengthen the argument, the arguer should have to present more information about the rate of secondary infections in all patients who are diagnosed with muscle strain. Additionally, the arguer should conduct a convincing and valid survey in which doctors and patients should possess similar background.(还有说抗生素的副作用呢?)