40"Scholars and researchers should not be concerned with whether their work makes a contribution to the larger society. It is more important that they pursue their individual interests, however unusual or idiosyncratic those interests may seem." |
212"If a goal is worthy, then any means taken to attain it is justifiable." |
7# wk4a
我的逻辑是
目标要正当,(主体一二段分别论述不正当和正当)
即使目标正当,方式也要公平(主体第三段)
文采方面研究了两天奥巴马的东西~现学的~后面写的就不行了~
emily_feifei 发表于 2009-8-8 15:25
首先if the goal is worthy~这句就该扁~一个目标是应该先评价下正不正当才能考虑其worthy不worthy,一个不正当的目标,再fascinating也没用~这是我的想法~
emily_feifei 发表于 2009-8-8 15:40
哦,对哦,good point,似乎很容易忽视。不过我有一点担心的就是者前半句是默认的前提,攻击的话后面有点乱了。就是既然目标都不好了,手段也就没有必要谈,而如果目标是好的话,就是worthy咯,再展开讨论。不过 ...
wk4a 发表于 2009-8-8 17:01
居然开始没看到这一篇 TOPIC: ISSUE40 - "Scholars and researchers should not be concerned with whether their work makes a contribution to the larger society. It is more important that they pursue their individual interests, however unusual or idiosyncratic those interests may seem." WORDS: 533 TIME: 00:52:36+10min(棕色部分) DATE: 2009-8-8 11:11:27 Retrospect to human history, dazzling innovations and discoveries have added fuel to our society. Ironically, many scholars and researchers were not intended to push on the society in the first place; instead they just follow their own interest and curiosity.哇,有点太绝对了吧,说成没有想到自己能起这么大作用什么会比较中肯。 Indeed, it is not simple to make a judgment if an invention or discovery would make contributions to society or not; in reality, researchers and scientists even cannot make sure whether they would get to success. Many discoveries were even made by accident. The discovery of penicillin can vividly exemplify this statement. Its discoverer, Flemming had no idea what the substance was in his laboratory at first. It was not until he found that such material could act as antiseptic that penicillin became widely used in the world and have saved countless lives. Same things went with the discovery of X-ray. Many occasional or fantastic researches may have profound effects on the progress of the society or the bliss of human beings. Now we may understand why Bill Gates has set up a foundation to sponsor some seemingly “ludicrous” scientific projects. 其实我也想过这两个例子,但是看虽然是因为accidental但不是因为interest就放弃了,没有对比。不过现在想起来不一定要对比。这样写也可以。 Furthermore(前面没有提到兴趣,这里却对兴趣来个furthermore,有点不连贯。), concentrating on achieving a huge success and making contributions may constrain one's gifts or talents. It is very possible that he or she could hardly focus on his or her researches with so many desires. Sometimes a strong willingness would produce counterproductive effects. Then consequently, instead of making contributions, scientists may not reach anything but disappointment. On the contrary, if driven by their own curiosity, scholars could best exploit their brilliant gifts and fantastic imagination. Thus they could be much more effective and efficient. Interests play an indispensible role in scientific fields, which would give scientists enduring power and promote them to go further. Take one mathematician for instance. ChenJingrun who had an intensive interest in mathematics, spent days and nights in front of his table and forgot to eat or sleep, calculating, deducing, and testifying. Finally, he nearly proved the Goldbach’s conjecture(学习了) to be right. Undoubtedly, thanks for his efforts, he push the research of number theory forward. But notice, from the very beginning, he barely thought of the "fame" or "contributions" stuff; he just followed his mind and his intuition. ---我现在喜欢在段落结尾再啰嗦几句总结,显得圆溜些。你的主题段现在都写得很好了,我没什么意见了。 Nevertheless, no matter how intensive the interests are, one should stick to the principle that their curiosity should not have the potential to undermine the whole society.在兴趣的基础上进一步。不过个人觉得这个题目问的是contributions和interest的轻重,你没有可以进行比较,可以说是离题了。 Otherwise, one should immediately stop his research. Failing to have a rightful direction, more Frankensteins would emerge in the scientific fields. What if some day we suddenly encounter with someone else who identifies us and tell us that he or she is one of our cloning? What if some day time becomes vague or still and our dead grandfather stand in front of us without any warning? What if one day our Mother Earth is completely destroyed by nuclear weapons invented by ourselves and no lives survive? Surely, we do not want any of these scenarios come true. Taking into account what has been discussed above driven by their curiosity and interests, scholars and researchers can go further in their work. But in the first place, they should assess their interests to ensure them will not bring perils to the larger society. 发现我们对题目的理解总是有点偏差。 |
19# wk4a TOPIC: ISSUE212 - "If a goal is worthy, then any means taken to attain it is justifiable." Admirable is the firm determination to achieve one's goal regardless the difficult and arduous process, but it is never wise to unnecessarily embrace every potentially detrimental means, taking persons involved or the whole society into consideration in the long run. (简洁明白!) As for individuals, though the anticipated destiny is appealing, ignoring detrimental aspects can result in both a less favorable result and other unexpected outcomes.(文采好,观点也明了) Generally, people tend to find excuse to purge them of a charge when the goal seems to be just. It is not uncommon to find a man who does not exist to show shadowy fight(什么意思) (A shadowy flight into the dangerous world of a man who does not exist: Michael Knight— a young loner on a crusade to champion the cause of the innocent, the helpless, the powerless, in a world of criminals who operate above the law. 幽灵般地驰骋在危险的世界中,讨伐罪恶势力——这就是迈克奈特,一位年轻的孤胆英雄,一位在罪犯横行、法无天的世界中,为无辜和无助的人们主持正义的勇士。 )against the dangerous world to champion the cause of the innocent, the helpless and the powerless. Thus encouragement in movies raise a false conclusion among people especially teenagers: to bring a clean society is to kill all the wicked. However, Aristotle marked two thousand years ago, "the rule of law is better than the rule of any individuals." It is dangerous to put the whole law system aside and take actions totally based on people's own judgment. Some black sheep in society may be kicked out, but the whole regulations and orders are messed up, leaving the whole society paralyzed. (恕我没明白你这段后面在分析什么啊) 不能学习以暴制暴的手段,虽然目标是维护世界和平。 More seriously, for countries, narrowly focusing on a goal and ignoring other aspects(和上段紫色部分对照下,觉得你两段在讲类似的事情)前一段讲个人,这里讲国家,额,似乎没区别? can cause a big lost rather than achievement. Untold inter-country wars have proved this tragedy long numerous times. The Second World War, for example, which is caused by selfish desire of a few countries, put the whole world in hell. For those countries that started the two wars, agreeable are the victories that can bring much sources and lands, and significantly beneficial to their own development. However, for the rest that lost their homelands, thousands of people can be homeless and homeless let alone(终于对了!你喜欢用let alone 我喜欢用not to mention) the environment could be seriously damaged. If the goal is paid by the sacrifice of majority, it is not justifiable. Actually, every unscrupulous mean which has been put into practice is a result of both shortsighted and egoism. Some individuals or organizations that put their goals beyond everything may achieve some benefits, but such benefits are at the expense of other relatively enormous sacrifice(see,和上面那段又是很类似)其实确实没东西写了。. It is absurd to close all the factories in order to eliminate environment pollution; it is ridiculous to recall all the cars in expecting to reduce traffic accidents; it also too foolish to kill all the patients when try to control a fatal virus. One the contrary, if during the pursuit process for a goal, people carefully evaluate all the possible means and choose a multiple-win one, a virtuous circle can be enjoyed as well. Justifiable or not, the judgment of means should never narrowly based on people who take them, but on every possible influenced aspects, people, organizations and environment. The thriving of society, as a whole, is the final goal we need to pursuit. (不知道是不是脑子有点转不动了,我觉得你这三段的内容不够清晰,似乎都有相似的陈述,建议写下提纲) |
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