issue93

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Issue39: （孙远的书）
“The concept of “individual responsibility ”is a necessary fiction. Although societies must hold individuals accountable for their own actions, people’ behavior is largely determined by forces not of their own making.

首先我对题目的理解是，” Although societies must hold individuals accountable for their own actions, people’ behavior is largely determined by forces not of their own making.” 虽然社会人们必须要求人民负责任，但是在某些情况下人们的行为是被外力所决定（强迫）的，（所以，在某程度上，人们不需负责任….这段话是由题目引伸出来的，不知对不对）

Syllabus:
1.        首段，表达立场，自由社会人们互动频繁，负责任的重要性，但不同意人的行为只受外力的影响。
2.        第二段，负责任的重要性，不负责任则会成为社会混乱之源，如社会问题、家庭纠纷等，以朋友的叔叔沈溺赌博及统治者不顾国家责任随意发动战争为例。
3.        第三段，为上一段的小结，people 要谨慎思考来做决定，并对所造成的后果或影响负起责任。
4.        第四段，不同意arguer的说明及理由，人的行为受到外力影响的谬误（如贫穷而偷窃，被嘲笑而杀人，似有理但实为非），应审慎思考（用尺来衡量）再做决定，而非一味推卸责任给外力
5.        第五段，教育应教导人们负责，同实在外力（不可避免的）的影响下，如何做出最正确的决定
6.        结论

( 正文)
In a liberal society, because people frequently interact with each other, individuals should accountable for their own actions that may affect other people. Thus, I agree with that the concept of individual responsibility is a significant one of required values for people. However, I arguer that people’s behavior should not be determined by external forces but by their own minds.（最末句这样的句型对吗？ 自己都有些怀疑？）（我对我的开头真是没信心…）

Individual responsibility plays a vital role in stabilizing society. There is ample evidence that social problem as well as family disputes and even increasing crime rate are resulting from the lack sense of the responsibility. For example, my friend’s uncle who extremely indulged in gamble spent all of his property and didn’t care about his wife and children; hence, he destroyed his family. After divorced form his wife, he lost his job and only depended on government subsidies for his survival. It is, therefore, apparent that a person without responsibility not only causes family problem but also brings about social instability. Besides, try to image that a ruler regarding the responsibility of his / her country as rubbish starts a war at will. It will be another catastrophe for the world.

Apparently, it could be argue that people should deliberatively consider the responsibility that they should take before making any choices. Because individuals strongly interact with each other in today’s society, every behavior and its consequence profoundly influence each person, a society and even a country.

On the other hand, some people might assert that persons should not be responsible for their behavior that was mostly determined by the force. It sounds plausible that men with mental or intellectual disorder doesn’t need to take any charge of their actions, but it would be absurd, even parlous, when it comes to people who are normal and could think with their brains. Still others claim that people could be venial, while some circumstances compel them doing certain inappropriate actions. For instance, the thief pleads poverty; the murder pleads derision. Admittedly, several situations surely influence people’s life but, however, these impacts should not affect individuals the ability of making right decisions. So, the poor should put efforts on hard work but not use poverty as excuse to steal; the murders should prove the merit of themselves but not to kill someone who has ever scoffed them. Thus, each person should not shirk her/his responsibility and blame onto the external severe circumstances. Moreover, people need a scale in their mind to rationally judge things and to discreetly contemplate the outcome of them.   

In addition, education is one of the useful devices to help society to stabilize itself. Schools should prepare people the concept of individual responsibility and furthermore, teach them how to make correct decisions, even in the inevitable severe conditions.   

In conclusion, without individual responsibility, a liberal society may be on the way toward chaos. Therefore, the concept of personal responsibility is not only a part of integrative people but also the ballast for stabilizing a healthy society. Meanwhile, education should cultivate people how to think thoroughly and make adequate determinations deliberatively even in several adverse circumstances.(509)


我怎幺觉得越练越没信心啊…..苦恼…-_-
先谢谢大家的帮忙了…^^

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谢谢gteryy的细腻评改，
说真格的，每次让您们这些高手费心指正，我都觉得好温暖、很是感动啊(流泪)…^_^
嗯….这文章实在难写啊，写到现在还没有流畅的感觉，
最重要的还是严重超时….但，唉…还是要努力了…
谢谢大家的指导….^^