issue11 求拍求拍

jennyzheUID：165924

The course of globalization and the technological enhancements bring on not only convenient and modern life but also more complex problems than ever before, or even crisescrisis, which gestates the opinion of developing a global university in order to solesolve the world's most persistent social problems. To serve the inward purpose, the university will also have a long way to go--forming, storming, norming确实在词典上查不到，只有动词才有-ING形式，而NORM是名词 and eventually performing.

It is the global nature of the problems that put forward the requirement that all the countries in the world should cooperate with each other--probably in the form of a university--to settle the impediments which we are in face of. An increasing number of international problems have become so serious that they have been threatening the evolution or even the survival of human beings and other innocent species, such as the environmental pollution, the energy crisis, the warming up of the climate, the depletion of the atmospheric ozone, the intimidation of the terrorism, to name a few.精辟到位的举例！ At present, in order to achieve and maintain a place in the furious competition, more and more business take a global strategy, which means enlarging their proportion of the limited market and reducing the cost by taking advantage of the labor forces, skills, energy and technologies all over the world. Any fluctuations in political policies, the legal system, and the macro economy can poses去掉 pressure and risk to the multinational corporation and other nations. Whichever country will feel incompetent and feeble in face of these tough tasks. 语言真的太好了，观点也不错，阐述现存的许多全球化问题，而一个国家的力量无法解决，以衔接下面需要全球合作的观点

As the problems are global, the solutions should also be global. Aside from the ameliorations and improvements of our daily life, the scientific discoveries and technological advancements also produce more intricate and terrible problems, the treatment of the AIDS or cancers, the procedures to better control the nuclear-power and disposition of the pollutants like plastic exhausted from the everyday life. 这一句和观点不贴切A global university can bring together the excellent experts and academicians, the finite funds, along with the diverse ideology and methodology. With the blurred boarders of cultures, nationalities and races, the most advanced technologies and discoveries can be gathered and work together for the good of the earth as a whole, and the absolutely different visual angle and thought way may become an especial inspiration of the research. The assertion that the most terrible danger is produced by man is somewhat reasonable. Taking the conflicts and wars between nations and cultures for example, only with mutual understanding and toleration can we reduce the possibility of the replay of that kind of catastrophes? The university may be a good place to provide the environment for cultivating this international spirit from the young.如果这一段集中阐述全球化学校解决问题的优势就好了，观点其实不错，集中了更多的物质和人力资源。

Before it can serve its purpose functionally, the university would encounter a substantial amount of threatens and temptations for its own sake. The diversity, whether political, religious, cultural or lingual will promise some conflicts and impediments that may even jeopard the existence of the university itself. The decisions about which area is more important or which problem is more urgent may be influenced by the politics, and then the university may become a tool serving the most powerful country in the world. As the lesson of the genetic industry in the Soviet Union in the Stalin era tells, the science hardly functions as well as it should under the direct interruption of the government. These practical concerns heavily undermine the realization of the idea to build a global university.   

Although the global university can create and provide the environment and conditions needed to do some scientific research, there is no guarantee to the solutions, let alone the implementation. As the experience tells, the major purpose of college education is to improve the comprehensive diathesis of the students and to help them shape their own system of values and cognition concerning the world and life. Thus, the determinant in the process of solving the persistent global problems may be the enhancement of the international cognitions and reinforce the coordination of the whole human being. To that global university, if can be constituted one day, universalism should be one of the basically scientific guidelines, which indicates that the authenticity of scientific knowledge must be judged by the impersonal criteria of the scientific method, not by criteria related to the race, nationality, religion ,gender or political ideology.结尾可以用让步的写法，显得观点不那么绝对。但还有有些问题：1，如果直接把一、三句连接起来，逻辑还更紧密一些。2，我觉得最后一句的定义有些离题了吧。即使是建设了这样一个平等的大学，对于前面你讲的观点有改良嘛？很突兀的一句话。还不如不写3，如果说单靠全球化大学不够的话，还有什么其它途径来增加国际间的了解，认识和合作呢。而全球化大学的目的不就再于此吗？如果全球化大学的教育目的和普通大学一样，为什么还需要建立呢？有些循环论证的感觉了。我认为可以改良，针对你提出全球化大学弱点的改良措施。也可以让步，说现在全球化大学解决问题的层面还不够，所以可以通过高层互访，建立合作组织，加强各级交流来解决。我的意见，仅供参考

你的语言和逻辑其实都很不错，说实话给你挑错很伤脑筋。所以都是鸡蛋里面挑骨头了。意见不对的话，欢迎指正。还要多多向你学习！！