zyxr90 的作文帖

lovesasa0820UID：2660864

In the current tough world we have to face, reluctantly, some hard-to-make （有这个用法么？我好像没见过）judgment, among which is the question about whether students should not take part-time jobs while they are studying in university. Devoted advocates of disagreement are those people who hold their idea that part-time jobs can bring some money to them. On the contrary, there are also some people, including me, capture the opinion in their minds that it is unnecessary to take part-time jobs, especially for university students.（文章的观点呢）
First of all, it is obvious that students must spend much time on those jobs, and it will have a bad influence on study and life. For instance, my friend Tom, who had taken several jobs in university period, is very compunction（这个是名词） in doing it （复数）since he is（时态） too busy to study. So he has neither a good academic record nor a happiness life in his collage, all of things he has is just exhaustion. In contrast, if he has no jobs, he can concentrate on his science research and enjoy a pleasurable campus life.

In the second place, it has minor effect on finding works after graduate. Since students want to take part-time jobs just because they think it has some advantages for obtaining employment. But the jobs that they can find are none association with their major. So the experience they gained through the part-time jobs how to help them?(so how did the experience that they gained through part-time jobs help them?)

Yet, each coin has two sides(这个句子好像被誉为一定不能写句子，据说有点土，不知道有没有一句). While we are enjoying the life in university, simultaneously, it may also bring some slight malice effects. The university is so expensive, and it may cause financial issues.（这里好像意犹未尽吧，最好在来个兼职能赚钱补贴。挑明一下）

In conclusion, despite the fact that to take part-time jobs does provide some money, the advantages of it easily surpass the minor default when we take the view to scan the whole event. Thus, I support the idea that students should not take part-time jobs while they are studying in universities. Additionally, in order to figure out the financial issues, the scholarship is the best choice.（这句有点突兀吧）

感觉LZ的文章有点单薄，结构也不是特别清晰，一般最好在开头就点名自己的观点
另外语法方面还要加强哦，介意多看看好文章，多学习学习吧
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