【独立写作】wuxiang0220的作业贴

wuxiang0220UID：3354608

重返寄托，一战91…………希望这次可以上100吧…………
上次作文分数太烂太烂……
12.2 二战

1130

1128
1127
1126
1125
1124

1123

1122
1121

1120

1119

1117
1116

1115
1114

1112

1111

1110
119

118

117
114
113

112

1031

1028

1027

1024

1019

1017

1015
1014
1013  


114本来今天实在是不想写了，可是看到昨天作文写那么烂，哎。。。只能提起笔写了……最近专业课真是把我整死，建模建了一天，连对着电脑12小时了，太难受了

119 今天又偷懒了…………以后可能要一边打工一边上课一边备考了，好期待这样忙碌的日子啊…………

Why i feel a little sad. If it is the same feeling when you heard about me. Might there is no possible for us .


1111 congratulation to me! Break up before the day of 11st Nov.  Whatever~

燕鱼小窝UID：3249611

已改

SYNCIAUID：3130718

已修改，多交流！

wuxiang0220UID：3354608

SYNCIA 发表于 2012-7-29 23:05
已修改，多交流！

谢谢你的批改，我也觉得自己的分论点有些雷同，总是感觉每次都是分论点很有问题，要不就是有重叠要不就是有些刻意的往话题上扯。
看了你的文章很受学习啊

燕鱼小窝UID：3249611

已改，请过目

wuxiang0220UID：3354608

燕鱼小窝 发表于 2012-7-30 19:21
已改，请过目

谢谢，之所以选择这个角度是因为自己如果写有友情的话估计只能写出一个点。感觉我想论点这方面非常不好，容易想不出来。
很受学习，谢谢了

lazysheepUID：2955322

不知道怎么添加附件，还是直接粘过来啦~~Advicegiven by others can help us a lot .While selection is becoming a rough problemwhen we face a lot of comments showing up in your eyes .Which advice do youprefer to choose , the comment given by a older one ,or another by a peer ? Inmy own perspective ,I incline to choose the former one since the benefits bothto me and the old .
Admittedly,some opponents many argue against my option .The younger stands in the sameangle of the problem is the reason to support their thought（表意有些confusing…） ,peer’s advice better .Persuasive as it seems tobe ,my further explanation mentioned below can reveal how flimsy it is .（个人感觉开头有些略长了。）
Myfirst reason ,conspicuous and ubiquitous（不太清楚这个词是否合适） ,involves that the advice offered from the old isbetter because the aged usually have more experience than that of elder .Like asaying taken by Confucius, a great Chinese philosopher ,”There is always wisdomin the mood of old.” Consider students and professors as examples ,Whenstudents suffer from some problems, they always turn to their teachers ,olderthan them, to get answers .What is the reason ?The more experiences theprofessors have is the key to solve the question .So does it to the selectionof advices .The comment tend to be more intellect and reasonable since theenough experience make the older know more about how to avoid the same faultsthey have had .I still remember, when I was studying drawing ,Some troublesabout how to draw a line straightly troubled me a lot .The classmates in the paintingschool all did not know how to do at all. While that was my father ,a famouspainter ,telling me the secret was relaxing my hands . So, this shows thewisdom of the advice taken by the older people can benefits us a lot . .
Andmentions（不太懂mentions在这里的意思） should also be made to stated that the choice ofthe older man’s advice enable the old feel satisfaction. Respect is a crucial roleof a man’s quality .By putting the advice given by an older people intopractice is a good way to show the respect to the old .We can not only get alot of benefits from it but also make the old feel a sense of esteem . Everytime I take the advice by my grandpa ,there is always a satisfied smile showingin his face . This is akin to an old saying “ one stone kills two birds “.Sowhy don't you follow it ?（感觉题目讨论的是which kind of advice is more valuable，不知道让老人开心算不算valuble呃。。。。因为感觉老人是否开心与advice本身关系不大）
Sum up,I can draw an unarguable conclusion that it is more valuable to follow theadvice taken by the older man than from a peer .The reasons to support my ideaare the better quality of the advice and the respect to the old .
（结构很清晰，例子也比较合适，至于语言运用上大家一起努力吧！欢迎互改~~ by lazysheep）

lazysheepUID：2955322

我的习作，欢迎修改，谢谢！[Daily Writing]lazysheep的作业贴！
https://bbs.gter.net/forum.php?mo ... amp;fromuid=2955322

tom_cybamicUID：2475644

改好了，多交流~

melaniewUID：3345865

o(∩_∩)o   互相交流~~

Gyps_rueppelliiUID：3340085

还不错啊

ZoeXUID：2822447

唔，来晚了~

tom_cybamicUID：2475644

8月3号作文好像下不了呢~

wuxiang0220UID：3354608

tom_cybamic 发表于 2012-8-4 12:44
8月3号作文好像下不了呢~

不好意思，刚才重新传了，可以下了

wp3026557UID：3252971

写的很好~