10# 卡束斯 Some people consider that governments should spend as much money as possible on developing or buying computer technology. Personally I find that statement is quite offensive and nonsense. My arguments for this point are listed as follows. The first reason I’m going to point out(state,呵呵, give another option) is the government budget is limited and not until vital basic needs are met such as social welfare and educational systems and transportation could we turn to other aspect. How can we ignore the poors(poor’s) basic need and just make(tolerate) the unjustified redistribution which obiviously(obviously) prone to the rich (调整了下顺序,不晓得改变了楼主的本意没有)0 L5 g: V( e:
Secondly,let’s assume that basic needs are met.Whchi(which) aspect should government choose to enhance the economic and the quality of citizen’s lives. Since every citizen pay their tax, a more potant(potent) statement should be proposed instead of as much as money (加上spent on)buying computer technology which is not apparently vast majority’s preference.(感觉论证不是有力,用钱来提高经济和人民生活质量可以举点例子,还有具体说明在电脑上挥霍钱是每个纳税人不愿意看到的事情,在电脑上花钱就是乱花钱了)0 m5
Some might argue that vanguard technology could help enhance the economics and the quality of citizen’s lives .My response would be that there are many ways even better than directly develop computer technology.For instance,more enducational budget could provide better circumstance(study environment) to the students who would most likely make great contribution to the society after their guaduate(graduation).
After all,I’m not saying that computer technology isn’t good but all the same it didn’t perform that well.It’s catagorically (categorically)wrong to add some people’s preference above the majority.It's unjustify(unjustified) redistribution and I think the basic needs is more crucial than the comuter(computer) technology. 1. 1.单词的拼写错误有点多 2. 2.楼主的句型应用很不错,学习中~ 3. 3.具体的例子少了点,显得论证比较苍白 |