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发表于 2009-4-14 22:53:06 |只看该作者
TOPIC: ISSUE173 - "Originality does not mean thinking something that was never thought before; it means putting old ideas together in new ways."
WORDS: 570                   DATE: 2009-4-9

What is originality? This is a basic and essential question in science, art and even every field of human society and there are always a host of different answers held by different individuals in diverse fields. Admittedly, completely novel ideas exist indeed(此句略有奇怪~是不是为避免词汇重复直接换了词~?). However, Originality does not necessarily mean thinking or creating something that was never thought or created before, it also means putting old ideas together in new ways. Moreover, Originality is more created based on former foundation. 第一段可以更清楚~引入观点再直接点更好

To begin with, it is undeniable that complete innovation exists in human history. For example, the first time that human built a boat; the first time human used tools to sculpt a statue; the first time that human used electricity to light the night. All these first times embodied this kind of originality which is complete innovation and no former cases to learn.

However, along with the rapid progress of science and technology, millions of novel ideas come out. It must be admitted that complete innovation is very difficult or sometimes impractical in many areas. (主题句为保险尽量放在第一位吧~第一句放在此句后面也未见得影响推理)Due to the development of human society from primitive society(可改为period以避免society的重复) to modern world, it is difficult to find a bran-new area to improve. (这里证明了difficult,却没有就impretical再作一句论证)Even famous scientists cannot easily find it too. A famous computer scientist once said in an interview, "even if computer science and technology is a novel area among all research fields, a large number of research issues are proposed based on old ideas, not completely new." He also indicated that, "It is because that completely novel ideas are hard to be accepted by people(by people不要能好些) and result from some of them is impractical(此半句有点奇怪~是想表达这些理论所引发的结果是impractical的吗?那不如说it is because that completely novel ideas are hard to be accepted and generate results that are impractical), in other words, their founders haven't understand the reason of existence of old ideas." In my opinion, it can be generalized to other fields. Without close scrutiny of the reason of old ideas and learning the advantages of them, complete innovation usually dies at the beginning.

Consequently, in most of the time, Originality is based on old ideas and people usually improve the formers' ideas or create new approaches or theories based on the formers'. For example, Isaac Newton, the founder of classic physics and calculus, once said that the "knack to be a scientist" lay in the following: "When I saw further, that is because I stood on the shoulders of giants." Not just Newton, Albert Einstein, who first joins time, space, matter, and energy together to found the principle of relativity, avowed that without the Newton's classic physics and calculus, it is impossible for him to found the principle of relativity. As for me, originality also is based on formers' ideas. As a master student, I need to read a large amount of related work to find an improvable point. According to the reading of related work, I could not only learn excellent ideas and approaches, but also find some shortcomings to improve or unsolved problems to solve. In my view, it is a useful research method and it really helps me a lot. (拿自己举例似不妥,且此例似是上面论证结果而非证明,另外,此段缺结论句)

In sum, originality means not only complete innovation, in most of the time, it also means putting old ideas together in new ways. As Confucius said, new thing originate in the past. As a result, originality is not the opposite of old ideas, on the contrary, originality means proposing novel ideas based on completed understanding and mastering old ideas.

语言还是蛮流畅的~~
我们的作文老师说行文中尽量不要出现“I”或者“you"这样的人称代词~我也觉得这样的人称代词还是少放为好。毕竟是客观论证,加入过多的I有着主观化的嫌疑。
例子很多很强大,论证再多一些更好。
大结构还是没什么问题的,段间论证再清晰一点更好~

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发表于 2009-4-14 22:32:42 |只看该作者
占改173~

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发表于 2009-4-14 22:08:45 |只看该作者
谢谢294楼的zad的批改
第三段的确论点不够明确,因为自己怕论证不全面。你的建议很好,可以把孙子兵法的例子扔到第二段作为对好的方面的学习,这样就清楚多了,多谢多谢:handshake

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发表于 2009-4-14 21:45:48 |只看该作者
TOPIC: ISSUE110 - "When we concern ourselves with the study of history, we become storytellers. Because we can never know the past directly but must construct it by interpreting evidence,  exploring history is more of a creative enterprise than it is an objective pursuit. All historians are storytellers."
WORDS: 554                   DATE: 2009-4-10

Is it true that all historians are storytellers? When it comes to this question, there are always a host of different opinions held by different (换个吧diverse) individuals (whose living circumstances are various) in different fields. Admittedly, as the speaker says, we can never know the past directly but must construct it by interpreting evidence. However, exploring history is both a creative enterprise and an objective pursuit which is the main difference between historians and storytellers.

It must be admitted that we cannot access to history directly. All history is passed away, some even (gone) thousands of (去掉of) years. Although we know that How Caesar conquered the world by historical records, we can never see the Caesar and his army directly. We also can never know what he thought before he met the Queen of Egypt. Meanwhile, historical records are usually fragmentary and even ambivalent so that ordinary people cannot access to the fact based on them. Consequently, historians should create a panorama based on insufficient records and analyze ambivalent records to find what is real and what is false (,) which is considerably difficult and even impossible for ordinary people who only know minor details of history to fulfill this task. So, we need historians to restore historical truth and explain the reasons and results of all kinds of events in history.  

However, historians are not recorders or registry officers. As a recorder or registry officer, his or her duty is to keep accurate records of every archive and record as well as take care of all the files. In recorder’s eyes, these records are dead. Only when these records used by historians, they are living. Historians collect and arrange related historical records by the help of recorders and registry officers. Then they should process all the information in the records in order to objectively reconstruct historical event. The historian should completely analyze the cause, process and result of a historical event. However, recorders or registry officers cannot do this. (这段的主旨是什么?比较historians 和 recorder 的区别说明了什么问题需要点一下)

At the same time, in order to reconstruct history, historians should exert some imagination based on fact and records which is totally different with storytellers. Due to records which cannot tell historians all in (about) a historical event, historians have to get a panorama of a historical event (去掉even) through logically imagination (analysis). Although it exist differences between different historians, the explanation of historical events from historians must be logical and objective and conform to the fact. It is totally different from storytellers, such as literature writers, film makers, politicians. For example, literature writers usually write legends which often have illusive and exaggerated components. Moreover, the use of exaggeration has become a custom in films whatever commercial films or literature films. Politicians also like telling historical stories to the public to achieve their political intents, so they usually ignore the negative parts for them but emphasize the beneficial parts in a historical event which often mislead the mass to understand an event in history. Especially in times like these that history has been misread by the public, historians can tell the public what the truth is. (个人认为关于storyteller 不用分开写这么详细,但要着重说明二者的区别,一个是科学,一个是文学,有本质的不同)

In sum, historians are different from recorders or storytellers. Historians are neither a recorder who just describe the historical records nor a storyteller who may exaggerate the historical event. In short, through mining (?)the historical records, logical reasoning and imagination, historians reconstruct a panorama of historical events based on historical truth.

思路好像不是特别清晰,建议每段都先限定一个主旨,写好主题句,这样才不会写跑。第二个论点很牵强建议最好换一个,语言方面错误很少,加油!

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发表于 2009-4-14 21:21:25 |只看该作者
TOPIC: ISSUE173 - "Originality does not mean thinking something that was never thought before; it means putting old ideas together in new ways."
WORDS: 570                   DATE: 2009-4-9

What is originality? This is a basic and essential question in science, art and even every field of human society and there are always a host of different answers held by different individuals in diverse fields. Admittedly, completely novel ideas exist indeed. However, Originality does not necessarily mean thinking or creating something that was never thought or created before, it also means putting old ideas together in new ways. Moreover, Originality is more created based on former foundation.

To begin with, it is undeniable that complete innovation exists in human history. For example, the first time that human built a boat; the first time human used tools to sculpt a statue; the first time that human used electricity to light the night. All these first times embodied this kind of originality which is complete innovation and no former cases to learn.

However, along with the rapid progress of science and technology, millions of novel ideas come out. It must be admitted that complete innovation is very difficult or sometimes impractical in many areas. Due to the development of human society from primitive society to modern world, it is difficult to find a bran-new area to improve. Even famous scientists cannot easily find it too. A famous computer scientist once said in an interview, "even if computer science and technology is a novel area among all research fields, a large number of research issues are proposed based on old ideas, not completely new." He also indicated that, "It is because that completely novel ideas are hard to be accepted by people and result from some of them is impractical, in other words, their founders haven't understand the reason of existence of old ideas." In my opinion, it can be generalized to other fields. Without close scrutiny of the reason of old ideas and learning the advantages of them, complete innovation usually dies at the beginning.

Consequently, in most of the time, Originality is based on old ideas and people usually improve the formers' ideas or create new approaches or theories based on the formers'. For example, Isaac Newton, the founder of classic physics and calculus, once said that the "knack to be a scientist" lay in the following: "When I saw further, that is because I stood on the shoulders of giants." Not just Newton, Albert Einstein, who first joins time, space, matter, and energy together to found the principle of relativity, avowed that without the Newton's classic physics and calculus, it is impossible for him to found the principle of relativity. As for me, originality also is based on formers' ideas. As a master student, I need to read a large amount of related work to find an improvable point. According to the reading of related work, I could not only learn excellent ideas and approaches, but also find some shortcomings to improve or unsolved problems to solve. In my view, it is a useful research method and it really helps me a lot.

In sum, originality means not only complete innovation, in most of the time, it also means putting old ideas together in new ways. As Confucius said, new thing originate in the past. As a result, originality is not the opposite of old ideas, on the contrary, originality means proposing novel ideas based on completed understanding and mastering old ideas.

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发表于 2009-4-14 21:18:48 |只看该作者
246# wuyaocosy

TOPIC: ISSUE120 - "So much is new and complex today that looking backfor an understanding of the past provides little guidance for living inthe present."
WORDS: 540          TIME: 00:45:00          DATE: 2009-4-10 下午 08:44:06

I fundamentally agree with the notion that in contemporary life, somuch new and complex things and problems are aroused according to newtechnologies. However, at the same time, the speaker mightunderestimate the crucial role of history, which might provide us hugenumber (a huge number of)lessons of life, significant ability to face (and overcome) the adversities wemeet in today’s society, as well as enduring motivation that isbeneficial for us to go along our daily lives.

To begin with, I have to concede that so much is new and complex todaythat people never seen and even never thought before. Some newtechnologies such as human cloning, global warming, informationexplosion and so forth could not be solved merely according to oldways, for the reason that there are no comparative events in the pastthat allowed us to follow and learn from.  Thus, to some extent, Iconcede certain new problems cannot be entirely solved by theexperiences of the past.

However, at the same time, any thoughtful people (person) would agree thatunderstanding the past could provide us innumerable benefits whichinvolve the passion to pursue certain careers, and courage to faceadversities. By understanding the experience of Van Gogh, who is almostthe greatest painter in his period only sold out one of his painting inhis entire career, the artists whose achievement have not yet beenaccepted and appreciated by contemporary life (contemporaries) would rebuild their selfconfident (confidence) to go on pursue (pursuing & the pursuit of) their aims. Accordingly, such exploits (exploitations) in thepast would provide motivation to us to face to the fear and problems inour daily lives, therefore forever emboldening us and lifting ourpassion to lives.

Moreover, learning history can also indicate us to address the problemsin today's life by preventing us from making the same mistake (mistakes) in thepast as well as supplying certain lasting and classic theories thatstill
worthy people in modern society to follow(are worthy of following by people...). On the one hand,learning history could help us do not make the same mistake. One aptillustration of this point involves the history of World War Two,although several decades past, in retrospect, we will still feel pityand hurt when it comes to mentioning those innocent victims who wasmurdered and maimed during the war, therefore forever helping usrealize the bad influence of war and stimulating us to improve our way tosolve international confliction all over the world. On the other hand,we could also collect valuable theories and useful things from thepast. For instance, from ancient Chinese writer Sun Tzu's book "the artof war", today's military commanders and even business men gatherinformation (删除from it to allow, from和前面的from重复) allowed them to operate more effectively andefficiency. Therefore looking back for an understanding of the pastprovides us endless wealth, just as New Town pointed out before, it wehave seen further, it is that standing upon the shoulders of giants.

In sum, although I concede lots of new and intricate problems exist intoday's life, it is inappropriate to asset that learning from theexperience of past is useless, to the contrary, learning history notonly provides courage for us to fight with the adversities we face indaily life, but also supply endless valuable theories that intricate usto go along with the problems in contemporary life.

作者行文流畅,语言丰富,佩服佩服。第三段写得不太好,相对于其他段来说,但是要写好这一段我觉得确实也蛮难的。一种方法就是不要这一段了,把历史的作用就分成两部分:一好一坏,好的可以学习接收,坏的吸取教训。第三段也融在里面,不知你认为如何。

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发表于 2009-4-14 20:48:36 |只看该作者
244# wuyaocosy
Thank you! 彼此加油哦!:handshake

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发表于 2009-4-14 18:19:41 |只看该作者
246# wuyaocosy

占位改246

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发表于 2009-4-14 17:02:27 |只看该作者
TOPIC: ISSUE120 - "So much is new and complex today that looking back for an understanding of the past provides little guidance for living in the present."
WORDS: 540          TIME: 00:45:00          DATE: 2009-4-10 下午 08:44:06

I fundamentally agree with the notion that in contemporary life, so much new and complex things and problems are aroused according to new technologies. However, at the same time, the speaker might underestimate the crucial role of history, which might provide us huge number lessons of life, significant ability to face the adversities we meet in today’s society, as well as enduring motivation that is beneficial for us to go along our daily lives.

To begin with, I have to concede that so much is new and complex today that people never seen and even never thought before. Some new technologies such as human cloning, global warming, information explosion and so forth could not be solved merely according to old ways, for the reason that there are no comparative events in the past that allowed us to follow and learn from.  Thus, to some extent, I concede certain new problems cannot be entirely solved by the experiences of the past.

However, at the same time, any thoughtful people would agree that understanding the past could provide us innumerable benefits which involve the passion to pursue certain careers, and courage to face adversities. By understanding the experience of Van Gogh, who is almost the greatest painter in his period only sold out one of his painting in his entire career, the artists whose achievement have not yet been accepted and appreciated by contemporary life would rebuild their self confident to go on pursue their aims. Accordingly, such exploits in the past would provide motivation to us to face to the fear and problems in our daily lives, therefore forever emboldening us and lifting our passion to lives.

Moreover, learning history can also indicate us to address the problems in today's life by preventing us from making the same mistake in the past as well as supplying certain lasting and classic theories that still worthy people in modern society to follow. On the one hand, learning history could help us do not make the same mistake. One apt illustration of this point involves the history of World War Two, although several decades past, in retrospect, we will still feel pity and hurt when it comes to mentioning those innocent victims who was murdered and maimed during the war, therefore forever helping us realize the bad influence of war and stimulating us improve our way to solve international confliction all over the world. On the other hand, we could also collect valuable theories and useful things from the past. For instance, from ancient Chinese writer Sun Tzu's book "the art of war", today's military commanders and even business men gather information from it to allow them operate more effectively and efficiency. Therefore looking back for an understanding of the past provides us endless wealth, just as New Town pointed out before, it we have seen further, it is that standing upon the shoulders of giants.

In sum, although I concede lots of new and intricate problems exist in today's life, it is inappropriate to asset that learning from the experience of past is useless, to the contrary, learning history not only provides courage for us to fight with the adversities we face in daily life, but also supply endless valuable theories that intricate us to go along with the problems in contemporary life.

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发表于 2009-4-14 17:02:07 |只看该作者
占楼 227

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发表于 2009-4-13 22:10:25 |只看该作者
改 231楼
51.”Education will be truly effective only when it is specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each students.”
Time: 41min
Words: 542
According to the speaker’s view, education will be totally ineffective and useless unless it is schemed to cater each students (student). Indeed, if different students can receive respective education, it will be surely a perfect condition. But on the other hand, I have to criticize the speaker’s opinion and point out its partiality and extremity about his suggestion to education. (上面这句没有支撑) So in my point of view, education should be partly designed for the students and, at the same time, have some public elements to all students.

Admittedly, respective education for every student is a good idea. As we can see, differences inevitably exist among students: different talents, different learning habits, different interests, and different attitudes to faculties and classmates. All above lead to one conclusion: there is (are) no completely two same students around the world. As a result, there won’t be a kind of education that will overall suit for all students (students’ interests). From this deduction, we can see that every student needs specific education.(最好还能点到education fit for individual 的好处)

However, although specific education for each student is a good will, yet (去掉yet) it is too idealistic for society to make it come true. Education designed for every individual is impossible and, ironically opposing to the speaker’s view, ineffective. Three vital aspects will illustrate the fact. First of all, our societies are lack of enough resources for individual education. According to the statistics in 2000, there are nearly one billion students in schools and colleges in China. And in the same period, the education expenses in China is only 385 billion dollars. On average, every students in primary schools, junior and senior schools, colleges, and universities can only spend 385 dollars on learning. Obviously, it is far from enough to exert individual education. Secondly, as we can see from the data above, there will be a great variety of differences among students. It is natural to deduce that experts that make schemes about individual plans will be under a caldron of burdens. Besides, these differences are too specific to handle. Finally, even if specific education for students is available on theoretical level, there still bulk obstruction in economy. (这跟resources 那个有点重复吧,那个的例子就是跟economy 有关) In fact, from the conditions in American universities, it is apparent that specific education requires the great backup of strong and responsible economy. But unfortunately, most of countries in the world cannot afford to do so. In conclusion, the specific education is impractical.
(第一方面和第三方面有点重复,建议合成一个,也可以让这段不那么长,和其他段平衡一下)

Still, (貌似不是让步关系啊)even though it is impossible to execute individual education, better ways to approach its effects exist. No matter how different each students are, same characteristics and points are common. Therefore, it is reasonable for societies to establish educational plans that contains some common elements for all students and specific ones for those existing differences. What’s more, this kind of schemes are more easily to be handled with and economic. Also, to go a step further, governments and educational authorities can take actions to improve the management of arranging schooling methods in order to reach good effects with more lower (没有 more lower这种用法吧) expenses.(有必要提一下common curriculum 的重要性,不仅仅在于省钱)

In summary, it is a good will to bring about the idea of specific education for students. But to approach the goal, we must meditate carefully. A proverb says ”All roads lead to Rome.”. Many other possibilities are in our sights, and they are waiting to be discovered.

第二个论证段很精彩,很饱满,但注意要和其他自然段稍微平衡一下。 细节的语法错误还存在,写的时候要多加注意。全文几乎都围绕可实施性进行的讨论,思路还可以更宽一点,比如说对孩子的影响什么的,名人例子也可以举几个。

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发表于 2009-4-13 21:53:57 |只看该作者
233# 小AJ

嗯,我是10G,打算今年8月考~~~你呢???互帮互助哈,我msn:ruolin.Jessica@hotmail.com

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发表于 2009-4-13 21:52:49 |只看该作者
求拍求拍
TOPIC: ISSUE64 - "Many people know how to attain success, but few know how to make the best use of it."
WORDS: 700                   DATE: 2009-4-12

Along with the rapid progress of human's society, the chance of success for normal people, to some extent, is increasing. When you enter any bookstore, there are a large amount of books about Success waiting for you. Admittedly, people in growing number know how to attain success. However, anyone cannot success just by knowing how to success. Even if someone attain success, it is very possible that he or she few know how to make the best use of it.

We must admit that nowadays Success is more famous than any other times in human history. As I said in the beginning, today, when you go into any bookstore or just surf the Amazon’s website, you will see lots of books telling you how to access success. When you open your TV set, all kinds of success men will come out and publicize their philosophy of success. Even in universities, these success men would let the chance pass away. These illustrate that people in increasing number have attained success in all trades and professions and it is an unprecedented time that normal people are so eager for success. The huge sales volume explains everything.

But, is success so easy? Through reading the books of Success, or do as the authors say, can we surely attain success? I don't think so. Certainly, these books let people know how to attain success but it is not enough. As the famous inventor Thomas Edison said, "Genius is 1 present inspiration and 99 present diligence". Although Success can tell you how to attain success or give you significant psychological support, the way to success should be walked by yourself. It is like that a teacher teaches a student how to get a good grade, but if the student never do it or drop it at the halfway, he or she will never make it. Consequently, more and more people know how to success today with strong publicity of Success, however, due to lazy or other reasons, the majority of them cannot attain it.

Moreover, even if someone attains success, he or she may few know how to make the best use of it. There was a famous story in Chinese history. Long long ago, a genius born in a village. He could write poems at the age of three. People from place to place come to the village to ask him to write poems, so the genius and his family began to live on it. However, year after year, when he was ten, he didn't make progress on poems and his poems was as the same as his peels. Hence, the genius was not a genius anymore. From this story, we may say that the boy and his family was improvidence. If he had been sent to school to learn poets, he would become a famous poet, such as Li Bai and Du Fu. This story is also happening now. Many people who have already attained success are becoming the boy or have already become the boy. Many students don't want to continue improving themselves after attending the leading university; many PhD candidates don't keep their enthusiasm to science after they attaining the PhD degree; many stars in sports, pop music or movies have been exposed lots of scandals. For example, Phelps, American famous swimmer and the eight gold medal gainer in Beijing Olympic Games has been exposed to smoke marijuana after the game, which not only deeply hurt his fans but also cast a shadow over his future. Therefore, the success is just one fleeting moment, if you don't make the best use of it, failures will come to you soon.

In sum, in such a time that everyone are pursuing success, many people know how to attain success but don't make great efforts on it so that they could never access to success. Moreover, few success men know how to make the best use of it so that success for them is just one fleeting moment instead their life. Therefore, whether you attain success or not, you should keep a goal in your mind. Only when you keep a higher goal in your mind can you make yourself continue progress and make better achievement.

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发表于 2009-4-13 21:52:12 |只看该作者
232# leslin
谢谢谢谢!!!!
意见很中肯,第一遍写的时候逻辑上有点混乱~~老是想得太多想远了然后就偏出去了~怎么锻炼这个呢,愁人~~
语言上~~汗~~谢谢你的意见~弱弱问一句,后面的段落还算复杂句多么~?
all in all,多谢了哈~~!!

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发表于 2009-4-13 21:50:20 |只看该作者
237# wuyaocosy

TOPIC: ISSUE50 - "In order to improve the quality of instruction at thecollege and university level, all faculty should be required to spendtime working outside the academic world in professions relevant to thecourses they teach."
WORDS: 426          TIME: 00:45:00          DATE: 2009-4-2 20:07:50

I generally agree with the author that faculties who work outside inprofessions relevant to the courses they teach in colleges would bringmore lively and interesting examples to their students, thereforeteaching more efficiently and effectively. However, at the same time,when it comes to certain fields which include history, chemistry,mathematic and the like (and the like好像用的不多,是否正确我也表示怀疑,不如用and so on & etc.), experiences in society almost offer littlevaluable information for professors for the reason that researches insuch fields have little relation with contemporary life.

第一段简练明了,OK!

First of all, no one would dispute (用could deny如何?) that the faculty who has theexperiences of working outside tend to supply more lively andinteresting instances to bolster the theories written in book, whichmakes us easily understand and absorb the ideals and real meaning ofthose stubborn theories. (这个长句写的不错) Working outside, therefore, not only helpprofessors to improve their quality of teaching, but also help studentsto lift their interest of such curriculum and understand the theoriesmore deeply. One apt illustration of this point involves therequirement of professors in commercial colleges. As we all know,faculties in commercial colleges are all required to have commercialexperiences, result from only the person who used to work in businessrealm before could get the first-hand information, master the analysismethod based on contemporary economy circumstance, and communicatevaluable knowledge to students to  indicate them learn to address realproblems happened in today’s world. Thus, outside experiences bringlots of benefits for faculties to provide more real information tostudents.

(第二段的例子也举得恰到好处)

Moreover, working outside can also help faculties collect up-to-dateinformation, realize the trend of development insofar in some fields,therefore helping faculties adjust the material and curriculums theyprepared to students in order to catch up with the step of developmentin certain fields.  For instance, according to Moore's Law- transistorsin Integrated Circuit doubled every 18 months, technologies in IT areadeveloped rapidly during these decades. Thus, it is entirely possiblethat what the students studied in college has already out of fashion,under this situation, gathering latest and useful information makesmore sense for professor in IT field to ensure their students couldreceive the most popular technology which could help students whodecide to pursue such a career realize the trend of development in thisarea, therefore making it easier for students to hunt jobs in future.

(作者的长句很值得学习)

However, in the meantime, although I concede outside working experienceis significant in certain areas, insofar as other fields which haslittle relate to contemporary life such as history, mathematic, physicsand the like, outside working is unnecessary. These kinds ofresearches, for example history research, only need to pay attention tothe heritages that our ancients left, working outside could providelittle benefit for professors in this field.

In sum, in my view, experience of working outside is valuable insofaras some fields which have interdependent relationship with society,like electronic engineering and economy research. However, in someother areas which is of little relation with today's life, workingoutside is useless.

(是不是时间的限制造成作者收得太快,如果时间控制好的话,这篇文章就非常完美了)

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