polaris_jie的作业贴

polaris_jieUID：2836796

Polaris_jie新加入进军美利坚独立写作小组https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1109907-2-1.html
这是我的作业贴，希望能够在7月10的托福中取得好成绩，非常感谢大家的帮忙。

peggy890UID：2812709

In order to solve the problems of the present and future, it is necessary to understand the past.0 h0

Looking at the successful people all around the world, no one could deny the basic fact before solving problems（也调了一下这个状语的位置，这样句子结构清晰一些）（加上is，要不从句没谓语）that, they would look for some resources in the past. As an（固定搭配好像是the） old saying goes:”take the history as the mirror, you will know prosperity and downfall.”(这句很不错~) The things gone, however successfully or unsuccessfully, will teach us how to gain victory and avoid failure.
First and foremost, with the accelerating steps of development and improvement in technology and economy, the society has undergone dramatic changes. However, some true principles have not changed a bit. Take that practice makes perfect for example. It was concluded from the story happened thousands of years ago. The famous artist Wang Xianzhi learn to draw the simple egg,(换成达芬奇的例子更有说服力) and he did the same thing for hundreds times. Finally he could draw the egg perfectly, which also became the foundation for his further achievements. And now, as students, we all want to do well in the exam. But if we have not do lots of excises, it will be impossible. So in sum, when we confront something, we can learn a lot from our ancestors.
Secondly, the past will also tell us the trend of the future, which is essential on one’s way to success. Take Shi Yuzhu for example, he used to be totally a loser after the bankruptcy of Juren Group. But he is familiar to the history of China, especially the gift tradition of Chinese. Take advantage of that, he successfully back to the top richest people in China within ten years. Generally, understanding the past will let you know more about the future. And once you grasp the trend, it is sure that you will achieve success.
Last but not least, the past just like the experience and you learn it means you will gain such important experience quickly. From the past of China, we can precisely come to the point that lags in the science and technology will bring disasters. So our government places so much emphasis on teaching.
From the reasons rendered above, we can safely draw the conclusion that it is necessary for us to understand the past before solving the problem. The past will us some true principles, make us clear about the future and gain us thousands of years’ experience.
感觉你知道好多中国名人的例子呢，敬佩敬佩~~↖(^ω^)↗加油

694055322UID：2792795

In order to solve the problems of the present and future, it is necessary to understand the past.0 h0

Looking at the successful people all around the world, no one could deny the basic fact that before solving problems, they would look for some resources in the past. As an old saying goes:”takinge the history as the mirror, you will know prosperity and downfall.” The things gone, however successfully or unsuccessfully, will teach us how to gain victory and avoid failure.
First and foremost, with the accelerating steps of development and improvement in technology and economy, the society has undergone dramatic changes. However, some true principles have not changed a bit.(主题句太隐晦了，能不能压缩一下？You may say: It is valuable to refer to the past because history always repeats itself. Although the society is undergoing drastic changes almost every second,the foundermental principles remain the same. ) Take that practice makes perfect for example(这个句子语法有问题，句子里有个句子，要是不会怎么总结下面的例子的话，你干脆就说This could be illustrated by the following example). It was concluded from the story happened thousands of years ago. The famous artist Wang Xianzhi learn to draw the simple egg, and he did the same thing for hundreds times. Finally he could draw the egg perfectly, which also became the foundation for his further achievements. And now, as students, we all want to do well in the exam. But if we have not do lots of excises, it will be impossible. So in sum, when we confront something, we can learn a lot from our ancestors.(个人觉得这个例子不能阐明你的主题。。。。换一个吧)
Secondly, the past will also tell us the trend of the future, which is essential on one’s way to success. Take Shi Yuzhu for example, he used to be totally a loser after the bankruptcy of Juren Group. But he is familiar to the history of China, especially the gift tradition of Chinese. Take advantage of that, he successfully returnedback to the top richest people in China within ten years. Generally, understanding the past will let you know more about the future. And once you grasp the trend, it is sure that you will achieve success.
Last but not least（这个一般用于口语。。。。可以换成furthermore,additionally等等词汇）, the past just like the experience and you learn it means you will gain such important experience quickly. From the past of China, we can precisely come to the point that laggings in the science and technology will bring disasters. So our government places so much emphasis on teaching.
From the reasons rendered above, we can safely draw the conclusion that it is necessary for us to understand the past before solving the problem. The past will us some true principles, make us clear about the future and gain us thousands of years’ experience.  
写在最后：毫无疑问的是作者知识渊博，例子很多，但是感觉用得不到位。。。就是有点例不达意啊。。。。不够贴切。。。。然后你的三个理由让我很晕。。。。感觉真的不是很舒服；个人建议你三个理由：
1.        referring to history enables one to make more precise expectation about the trend of a problem.(可以用professors in stocks make use of the past tendency to anticipate whether it is profitable to invest in some stock or security.)
2.        understanding the past can broaden one’s horizon and become knowledgeable.
having a comprehensive understanding a problem including its past is conducive to the cultivation of one’s world and value views.(比如，有些人对毛泽东等历史人物的评价过于偏激。。。没有充分认识他的功与过，这不利于人们世界观和价值观的培养)

polaris_jieUID：2836796

In order to solve the problems of the present and future, it is necessary to understand the past.0 h0

Looking at the successful people all around the world, no one could deny the basic fact that before solving problems, they would look for some resources in the past. As an old saying goes:”take the history as the mirror, you will know prosperity and downfall.” The things gone, however successfully or unsuccessfully, will teach us how to gain victory and avoid failure.
First and foremost, with the accelerating steps of development and improvement in technology and economy, the society has undergone dramatic changes. However, some true principles have not changed a bit. Take that practice makes perfect for example. It was concluded from the story happened thousands of years ago. The famous artist Wang Xianzhi learn to draw the simple egg, and he did the same thing for hundreds times. Finally he could draw the egg perfectly, which also became the foundation for his further achievements. And now, as students, we all want to do well in the exam. But if we have not do lots of excises, it will be impossible. So in sum, when we confront something, we can learn a lot from our ancestors.
Secondly, the past will also tell us the trend of the future, which is essential on one’s way to success. Take Shi Yuzhu for example, he used to be totally a loser after the bankruptcy of Juren Group. But he is familiar to the history of China, especially the gift tradition of Chinese. Take advantage of that, he successfully back to the top richest people in China within ten years. Generally, understanding the past will let you know more about the future. And once you grasp the trend, it is sure that you will achieve success.
Last but not least, the past just like the experience and you learn it means you will gain such important experience quickly. From the past of China, we can precisely come to the point that lags in the science and technology will bring disasters. So our government places so much emphasis on teaching.
From the reasons rendered above, we can safely draw the conclusion that it is necessary for us to understand the past before solving the problem. The past will us some true principles, make us clear about the future and gain us thousands of years’ experience.

polaris_jieUID：2836796

7.1 Most people prefer others making decision for them than making a decision for themselves

Whether making decision is better than following decision or not has been the hot topic issue discussed and debated for decades. Some prefer others making decision for them. In their opinion, deciding means taking responsibility and risks. However, there is a glowing portion of people choose to make decision by themselves. They believe, however you will succeed or not after the decision, you do the thing for yourself not just be a follower. As far as I am concerned, I am in favor the latter perspective.
In the past years, the society was not so open now and there were too many restrictions on the inhabitants of China. So in those days, people were cline to just be followers, because they did not want to be detained or blamed. Now, on the contrary, our government praises the new ideas, innovations and individualities. And making decision by ourselves does better to our growths.
First and foremost, making decision is not only means risk and responsibility, but also success and leadership. Take Bill Gates for example. He used to be a good student of Harvard, but once the new idea hit him, he could immediately decide to start his own business regardlessly. If he just followed his classmates or delay the decision, there might be no Microsoft today. Making the decision makes him be the most successful today and the leader of more than 10 thousand people.
Secondly, making decision is a good way to make you better. The more responsibility means you have to do well, and you need to know more. And through the process, you will get better. Take myself for example, once I was a team leader of the national challenge cup. At the beginning, I knew nothing about how to write business plan, but I had to lead my team. So I spent a lot of time reading books and asking advices from the teachers. At last we won the bronze medal of Shanghai, and I gain almost a large collection of knowledge and the interest to start my business one day.
With the reasons rendered above, we could safely draw the conclusion that it is a good time for us to make decisions by ourselves and making it not only means risk and responsibility but also success and opportunity to learn more. In sum, the people should make decisions by themselves, especially for the young.

peggy890UID：2812709

sorry,I am late.
That the successful people should take new or familiar things has been the hot issue discussed and debated for a decade. A fair portion of people insist that they should avoid the risks, so that they could enjoy the success they have achieved. Others argue that taking something new is a better choice, in order to get more successes. As far as I am concerned, I prefer the latter perspective./ O. I* `2 O4 g3 }/ q4 U
First and foremost, the new things mean not only risks but also opportunities.(that is,有一些逻辑词连接起来更好) Rejecting the new things equals to rejecting chances as well. At the beginning of the reform and open policy, Zhejiang province was very poor for it has few resources and arable fields. However, the people there were brave enough to take risks and good at grasping chances (which hardly depend on their disadvantage on resources,更specific 一些). Now it is one of the richest parts in China.
Furthermore, the first decade of the 21th century has witnessed the dramatic changes in China and all around the world. One of the most obvious happened in the IT industrial. The Microsoft is still the biggest company in this field, but now it is confronting the tense competition with Google, which has a history （要加介词，of）no more than 10 years but with more advantages. And what is more, the fasting growth of Facebook, founded in2004, threatens both of them. In sum the innovation, now, is so important that could make you successful or fail immediately. As a result, it is necessary for the successful people to spare no effect to take new things. : Y& R; H+ c# a* L
Additionally, in my opinion, big success means more abilities, more contributions. And doing the things that you have already done well once more will give you nothing but a dull process. However doing something new, even you fail to do it well, you will gain new knowledge and experience, and the whole society will know more about the new thing. And thus, you will be more successful. Take my research project for example. If I do the same experiments several times, I will get more familiar, tired and one same result. On the other hand, if I try something new, I may be excited by one or two new results out, or get disappointment by doing the experiments like this will get failure. However, only through the latter way can the science get improvements.
With the reasons rendered above, we can safely draw the conclusion that the successful people should take new things and take risks. So that they could keep successful, achieve more, and do more contributions to the world.
   跟上次一样的感觉，行文很流畅，举例也很得当，赞哦~

ChanBayUID：2843394

6.29作业
Successful people take new things and take risks rather than the things they’ve done well
  Some people say that successful people always take new things and take risks because most of them are that kind of iconoclasts who overturn conservations and build new orders, just like Chairman Mao Zedong in Chinese history who took the old society out and started the People’s Re public. But some people say that successful people should take his/her resolution and insist on the things that he/she is good at, and then he/she will succeed. As I am, a common people who have experienced the social things for several years, don’t agree that we should always take new things and take risks to get success because of the economical situations of today’s world.
  There is a story I have read from a noted book about a successful cloth business man. He made some cloth with faults, so it was returned by his costomers. At first he was so upset but then he cut a piece of the cloth and hung it on the wall in his house. After that, he plunged into his production again. At last, he succeeded and his words last in his descends: Only do one thing in your life. This story tells us so much. Only do a thing that you can focus on it and then do it well. People who like to try things this and that will always be so superficial.
  In the highly developing current society, we need professional person in almost every position. Those who always take new things and take risks won’t succeed. My youger brother is negative example of this kind. He always gets ideas from things he meets and try a thing today and anther thing tomorrow. So, untill today, he hasn’t done anything convictive, not even metion success. But I, began to study English from my leaving college and have passed CET-6 today, getting reward from my insisting.
  In different phases of our life, we will do diffent things, but if those things are far beyond our profession, we can’t concentrate and get succeed.

polaris_jieUID：2836796

6.29作业
Successful people take new things and take risks rather than the thing that they've done well
That the successful people should take new or familiar things has been the hot issue discussed and debated for a decade. A fair portion of people insist that they should avoid the risks, so that they could enjoy the success they have achieved. Others argue that taking something new is a better choice, in order to get more successes. As far as I am concerned, I prefer the latter perspective.
First and foremost, the new things mean not only risks but also opportunities. Rejecting the new things equals to rejecting chances as well. At the beginning of the reform and open policy, Zhejiang province was very poor for it has few resources and arable fields. However, the people there were brave enough to take risks and good at grasping chances. Now it is one of the richest parts in China.




Furthermore, the first decade of the 21th century has witnessed the dramatic changes in China and all around the world. One of the most obvious happened in the IT industrial. The Microsoft is still the biggest company in this field, but now it is confronting the tense competition with Google, which has a history no more than 10 years but with more advantages. And what is more, the fasting growth of Facebook, founded in2004, threatens both of them. In sum the innovation, now, is so important that could make you successful or fail immediately. As a result, it is necessary for the successful people to spare no effect to take new things.
Additionally, in my opinion, big success means more abilities, more contributions. And doing the things that you have already done well once more will give you nothing but a dull process. However doing something new, even you fail to do it well, you will gain new knowledge and experience, and the whole society will know more about the new thing. And thus, you will be more successful. Take my research project for example. If I do the same experiments several times, I will get more familiar, tired and one same result. On the other hand, if I try something new, I may be excited by one or two new results out, or get disappointment by doing the experiments like this will get failure. However, only through the latter way can the science get improvements.
      With the reasons rendered above, we can safely draw the conclusion that the successful people should take new things and take risks. So that they could keep successful, achieve more, and do more contributions to the world.

polaris_jieUID：2836796

6.26作业-请大家拍！呵呵，一起努力
The first ten years of the 21th century have witnessed the dramatic, glamorous and colorful changes in our life. One of the most obvious improvements is in the international travel. More and more people have the opportunities to go abroad. As a result, a fair portion of people choose the pattern of travel as the best way to learn about a foreign country. However some insist that reading newspaper or magazines is better and more convenient. As far as I am concerned, both are good ways, but which one is the best, I believe, depends on situations.
The reading pattern is better for the young people with no much money. Take the university students for example. They do not have the abilities to get enough money to enjoy an international travel, and what more, with the accelerating steps of the society and technology and increasing stress in the job competition, their time is so precious and they need to make full use of it. But of course, they have big curiosities to the foreign countries. In sum, reading newspaper or magazines is the best way for them.
When it comes to the successful people with lots of achievements, the travel is better. As a trip to the country will not only be beneficial for their bodies but also for minds. They can experience the foreign life and enjoy the food and beverage there. Their diary lives are so busy that they have few chances to take breaks. And taking a vacation in a foreign country is a very good way to refresh themselves as well as enlarge their horizons. Additionally, once the people reach the peak of their careers, they can freely enjoy their lives, without taking too much account of the promotion, study and so on.
So far we can safely draw the conclusion that the reading and the travel are both good ways.
And to different people at different ages and stages, which is the best way varies. The young mostly choose the newspaper or magazines on account of the full use of money and time. The successful ones would like to take the travel, for they have the abilities and travel will give them more about the foreign life.

zmselfnatureUID：2466965

6月22日作业，请大家重重的拍！谢谢！
Over the recent decades, with the accelerating steps of development and improvement in economy and business, the communication is becoming increasingly important.  ...
polaris_jie 发表于 2010-6-22 23:10

词汇运用的很不错，我认为有一些文章结构上的问题，第二段作者指出：1.Thus, some of them we may just acquaint with,and to these people, we should only say something nice or nothing, because wedo not know what the consequence will be if we say something improper. 2.But if we want to have true friendship, we needto be frank to our close friends.这两个观点，而第三段，作者也表达出这样的观点：1.When it comes to something I do disagree with, Iusually firstly praise its advantages directly to get the trust of myopposites, and then point the disadvantages frankly with some suggestions toimprove.2.
Andsometimes, when we really can not figure out what the advantages are, we justshould keep silent. 前后两段的观点感觉内容上有些冲突，比如说对 people we may just acquaint with， 我们xuanze是 保持沉默 还是 先评估缺点？ 对于好朋友呢是直接表达or先评估优缺点？

语言运用很熟练，学习了，但是内容逻辑上有些小问题，文章再精简些就更好了！很有得高分的潜力，加油！

peggy890UID：2812709

[With the accelerating steps of development and improvement in economy and life condition, there is an increasing public concern on the issue that vocation and salary, which is more important? A fair portion of people insist that salary is most important for a job, because the more money you have, the happier you will be. However, some argue that the vacation time is more important. They believe that life is short, so we should try our best to enjoy ourselves. As far as I am concerned, the salary and vocation time are both important, but which is more important（换成prior，避免在较短的间隔出现同样的important）depends on situations.
: p6 a; d6 n& i  S# v( VWhen we are young, especially at the beginning for the first job, usually, we are full of inexhaustible energy and vigor. We always want to work harder and get promoted. So in this period of life, the salary is more important, because it is a standard to prove（judge更有感觉~） our achievement. Take the university graduate students for example, it is a tradition that they will get together ten years after the graduating, and the salaries of them will be the inevitable and critical topic. If you earn less money than others, you will be definitely shameful.（be shameful有点奇怪。。。）
& N( z8 \- s, Z3 Q4 LLater, when we grow order with more experience, we may put more emphasis on life condition（condition建议改成quality）. More people will understand the equation between money and happiness is absolutely wrong. And the vacation time of the job takes more attention. People are prone to spend more time with family and enjoying life. At this stage, the most have realized their dreams and satisfied by what they have achieved. Take Bill Gates for example, when young, he was crazy for the innovation of soft ware to earn money and prove his value. But now, he just does some charity and enjoys his life. / j/ x3 C1 J: I" e0 O) c& O
So far we can safely come to the conclusion that the salary and vacation time are both important for the job. And to different people at different ages, the importance varies. The young may be enthusiastic for the high salary to try their utmost to realize their dreams, while the older want more vacation time to enjoy life.
全文很流畅，有理有据，用词也很不错~~看地出楼主水平很高哦~
希望能在单词的多样性上多加变化，更好哦~
加油~
PS:记得修改我的哦~O(∩_∩)O~
b] 13# polaris_jie

sunersunUID：2734987

Over the recent decades, with the accelerating steps of development and improvement in economy and business, the（这里的communication没有特指，不用加the） communication is becoming increasingly important. Some people believe that in some cases that（that换成when） you cannot say anything nice to someone, you should say nothing at all. However some others argue that we should always be frank, so if needed, we should point（point 是不及物动词，加out） others’ fault directly. As far as I am concerned, both of the above attitudes are needed."
First of all, nowadays, with the benefit of popularization of phone and network, we connect with many more people than ever before. Thus, some of them we may just acquaint with, and to these people, we should only say something nice or nothing, because we do not know what the consequence will be if we say something improper. Take Ma Jiajue for example, he was the student of Yunnan University with lots of knowledge but he also killed all of his three roommates. The reason for that was just some words said by them hurt his heart（没有hurt one’s heart的说法吧，hurt one’s feeling 或者break one’ heart）. （下面的可以另分一段了）But if we want to have true friendship, we need to be frank to our close friends. Only in this way can we understand each other truly and in depth. The close friends know each other’s advantages and disadvantages well. And their words even not nice（插入语和主句好像要用逗号隔开吧） we regard as good suggestions or warm-hearted warnings instead of blames. So we usually thanks（语法错误，thank） for the friends’ bad comments. In sum, we should be frank to our close friends while be cautious to the person about who（whom） we just know a little.

Furthermore, at different stages of dealing with one thing, we should have a choice between some words nice and frank. In my opinion, everything has two sides（用那句every coin has two sides比较好）. One is good and the other is bad. When it comes to something I do disagree with, I usually firstly praise its advantages directly to get the trust of my opposites, and then point the disadvantages frankly with some suggestions to improve. Thus, the people who stand at my opposite will think just according to my logic. And therefore, we may come to a compromise. And sometimes, when we really cannot figure out what the advantages are, we just should keep silent. If we start with pointing out the（the删去） others’ faults, we will usually keep on doing that without thinking about their advantages and ourselves’ disadvantages. And finally we will get angry with each other. Thus the conflict will last.
With the reasons rendered above, we can safely draw the conclusion that we should make a smart choice among to say something nice, to say something frank and to be silent. To different people and in different situation, the choice should be different. And only in this way can we get along well with both strangers and familiars, and cope with all kinds of things successfully.
作者写的很好，绝对不是菜鸟，英语基础很好，是不是刚刚考了G啊，感觉很多地方有些G作文里的模板痕迹，呵呵，这些用在T上绝对没问题的

polaris_jieUID：2836796

6月24日作业，谢谢大家，我们一起努力:)
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? A job with more vacation time is better than a job with high salary but less vacation time.8

With the accelerating steps of development and improvement in economy and life condition, there is an increasing public concern on the issue that vocation and salary, which is more important? A fair portion of people insist that salary is most important for a job, because the more money you have, the happier you will be. However, some argue that the vacation time is more important. They believe that life is short, so we should try our best to enjoy ourselves. As far as I am concerned, the salary and vocation time are both important, but which is more important depends on situations.
When we are young, especially at the beginning for the first job, usually, we are full of inexhaustible energy and vigor. We always want to work harder and get promoted. So in this period of life, the salary is more important, because it is a standard to prove our achievement. Take the university graduate students for example, it is a tradition that they will get together ten years after the graduating, and the salaries of them will be the inevitable and critical topic. If you earn less money than others, you will be definitely shameful.
Later, when we grow order with more experience, we may put more emphasis on life condition. More people will understand the equation between money and happiness is absolutely wrong. And the vacation time of the job takes more attention. People are prone to spend more time with family and enjoying life. At this stage, the most have realized their dreams and satisfied by what they have achieved. Take Bill Gates for example, when young, he was crazy for the innovation of soft ware to earn money and prove his value. But now, he just does some charity and enjoys his life.
So far we can safely come to the conclusion that the salary and vacation time are both important for the job. And to different people at different ages, the importance varies. The young may be enthusiastic for the high salary to try their utmost to realize their dreams, while the older want more vacation time to enjoy life.