issue154 木紫互改小组

amanda2005UID: 2120493

154"Both parents and communities must be involved in the local schools. Education is too important to leave solely to a group of professional educators."

The speaker advocates that education to the children should be the responsibilities of school, parents and communities. As common parents may lack skills or high educational background and community have other problems to be settled, the society places more emphasis on those professional educators. However, one can not overlook the importance of parents and community to a child’s development. Then I strongly support the speaker that parents and communities significantly impact the children when they grow up.

To begin with, parents may be the best teachers of their children. First, moral education, which involves modesty, respect, justice and so on, is accomplished greatly in the family. Besides basic skills, parents cultivate children what is right or wrong. The child who reports his or her lower scores on a subject will not be regarded as a shame. Second, personality and characteristics are almost always shaped in one’s family. Usually children are easy to be impacted by the persons around them. The child will learn to do some cleaning and washing living in a house kept tidy. Last but not least, the parents have a nonplus weapon ---love to lead their children. Love has the infinite power to encourage children to perform well and reward their parents with good attainment. Without the parents’ endeavor, children will lose the important part of cultivation which nurtures their heart and soul.

In addition, communities should construct a good surrounding for children, which is a lively book that teaches children what is the real world, how to get along with others and what ought to do in the future. First, adults are often models to children. In the school, children are told to leave a seat to those who need it most on the bus. However, if no adults do like that, what will the children think about. Plus, there are a lot of public utilities maintained by residents living together. To illustrate, public sanitary can reveal the degree that one care about others. When people complain about each other, the only understanding left to children is selfishness. Moreover, children absorb the culture and customs of  their people especially when experiencing the festivals. Children are the most excited in a festival. They not only participate the festivals’ activities, but also learn about the story and history of the festival. Therefore, the children living in the harmony communities would have more healthy space to grow up.

Admittedly, professional educators play a key role in fostering the children. On the one hand, all kinds of disciplines are essential for children to study the basic knowledge and skills, such as verbal, mathematics, art, physical education and so on. Teachers who have strong academic background and teaching skill will help children most at these areas. On the other hand, schools are good environments for so many children learning together. Teachers can instruct the students to organize beneficial competition and corporation. In general, teachers help students to develop both their intelligence and emotions.

To conclude, as education is the most important for a nation to thrive, Families, especially parents, communities and schools are bound to make great effort together.

cuilei_1985UID: 2121020

154"Both parents and communities must be involved in the local schools. Education is too important to leave solely to a group of professional educators."

The speaker advocates that education to the children should be the responsibilities of school, parents and communities. As common parents may lack skills or high educational background and community have other problems to be settled, the society places more emphasis on those professional educators. However, one can not overlook the importance of parents and community to a child’s development. Then I strongly support the speaker that parents and communities significantly impact the children when they grow up.

To begin with, parents may be the best teachers of their children. First, moral education, which involves modesty, respect, justice and so on, is accomplished greatly in the family. Besides basic skills, parents cultivate children what is right or wrong. The child who reports his or her lower scores on a subject will not be regarded as a shame.(这个例子不恰当) Second, personality and characteristics are almost always shaped in one’s family. Usually children are easy to be impacted by the persons around them. The child will learn to do some cleaning and washing living in a house kept tidy（语法结构上有问题而且例子也没有支持你的分论点：personality and characteristics are almost always shaped in one’s family）. Last but not least, the parents have a nonplus(?这个词用得不对吧) weapon ---love to lead their children. Love has the infinite power to encourage children to perform well and reward their parents with good attainment. Without the parents’ endeavor, children will lose the important part of cultivation which nurtures their heart and soul（词用得太大）.

In addition, communities should construct a good surrounding for children, which is a lively book that teaches children what is the real world, how to get along with others and what ought to do in the future. First, adults are often models to children. In the school, children are told to leave a seat to those who need it most on the bus. However, if no adults do like that, what will the children think about. Plus, there are a lot of public utilities maintained by residents living together. To illustrate, public sanitary can reveal the degree that one care about others. When people complain about each other, the only understanding left to children is selfishness. Moreover, children absorb the culture and customs of  their people especially when experiencing the festivals. Children are the most excited in a festival. They not only participate the festivals’ activities, but also learn about the story and history of the festival. Therefore, the children living in the harmony communities would have more healthy space to grow up.（角度有些片面，你只论述了从孩子眼中看这个社会，应该论述这些communities 能提供给学生什么机会来better their education, 比如让学生多参加实践活动，去养老院慰问，做自愿服务者，等等）
Admittedly, professional educators play a key role in fostering the children. On the one hand, all kinds of disciplines are essential for children to study the basic knowledge and skills, such as verbal, mathematics, art, physical education and so on. Teachers who have strong academic background and teaching skill will help children most at these areas. On the other hand, schools are good environments for so many children learning together. Teachers can instruct the students to organize beneficial competition and corporation. In general, teachers help students to develop both their intelligence and emotions. （这段应放在前面）

To conclude, as education is the most important for a nation to thrive, Families, especially parents, communities and schools are bound to make great effort together.（最好能稍详细些）

amanda2005UID: 2120493

感谢指教，谢谢！这么简单的题目写成这样，简直汗颜