issue130 【076G背水一战小组】第一次作业 孩子社会化 最痛苦滴一篇。。

kylinUID: 2242436

130"How children are socialized today determines the destiny of society. Unfortunately, we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society."

——提纲——
1.children是社会的未来 是determinant
  a. socialization 的定义
  b. 但socialization的同时 也要注意form individual character
这样 也就是只有定义好了自己 又顺应社会 才能求得自身发展 推动社会发展
2. 所谓raise children 而且要better society 就包括上面两方面的培养了
  a.对intellect 我们已经做的不错
  b.但emotions不够重视
结论： 我们应该改善raise 孩子的方法 特别是还做得不太好的emotion方面 毕竟孩子决定社会未来

——正文——
I strongly hold the belief that children are determinants of our society's destiny while not only based on their socialized level, but indeed, it is kind of disappointed, as the speaker claims, that we haven't yet found a proper method to raise children. As a result, children who are not well-educated might be less effective in bringing about a better society.

As the society, in which the civilization booms, is always under the control of adults who create and regular social norms, their descendants, who are adult-to-bes, will certainly take over their tasks in the future and become the determinant of society's destiny. Although society is created by we human beings, we are also driven by society to evolve. In another word, society and humans are interdependent, and that's why humans are also called as social animals. Thus, it is inevitable for young people to adopt socialization in the process of preparing for stepping into the society. From my perspective, socialization can be identified as the procedure of people shaping their own mind and molding their behaviors following those norms accepted by the society. Socializing can guarantee certain harmony to society, since people's daily acts are generally in common. However, children can not only be socialized, but also should be taught the idea of individuals. Without people's various personalities, the society would fall to dull as people have the same interests and equal talents--there are no specialists in each field to lead the development. In a word, children should shape their own characters while learning how to cooperating with others, as the destiny of society is determined by how children are socialized as well as how they are individualized.

When issue on raising children, I opine that nowaday education system has already been mature in developing their intellect. The cognitive skills of students, such as reasoning and logical thinking, are always quite proficient. Thus, science and technology are keeping making tremendous progress today, as the average intellect level of people has been increased.
   
However, in contrast, the education system fails to arrange satisfactory instructions for exploring children's own emotions. This leads to the development of every child's character and emotion is severely unbalanced. Even if children will have obtained enough academic knowledge when go to work, they might have problems in communicating with others and mitigating their own pressure. There are mainly two results of the unbalanced emphasis as follows. Children who always stick to their own opinions and refuse to accept others' suggestions are likely to turn to be egocentric, since they don't have the basic social skills such as cooperation and communication. This unsuccessful education for socialization may even result in dangerous situation to society as those children are easier growing to be extremists. On the other hand, some children are too socialized to maintain their own characters, thus, they are more likely to become mediocrities who merely make remarkable contribution to society. Consequently, when raise children, adults should pay much more attention on guaranteeing them healthy personality.

In conclusion, it is children who are determinants of the destiny of society in the future, so we need to improve ways of instructing them by emphasizing both the development of intellect and emotions. Therefore, groups of well-socialized children who are also with distinct personalities will bring the society a bright future.

flaflagogoUID: 2280642

I strongly hold the belief that children are determinants（可以这样用吗？） of our society's destiny while not only based on their socialized level, but indeed, it is kind of disappointed, as the speaker claims, that we haven't yet found a proper method to raise children. As a result, children who are not well-educated might be less effective in bringing about a better society.

As the society, in which the civilization booms, is always under the control of adults who create and regular social norms（最好分两句）, their descendants, who are adult-to-bes, will certainly take over their tasks in the future and become the determinant of society's destiny. Although society is created by we（us） human beings, we are also driven by society to evolve. In another word, society and humans are interdependent, and that's why humans are also called as social animals. Thus, it is inevitable for young people to adopt socialization in the process of preparing for stepping into the society.（感觉有点衔接不上，老米真的喜欢一段话一个TS的模式吗？如果是那样的话LZ需要尝试多分段的方式了）From my perspective, socialization can be identified as the procedure of people shaping their own mind and molding their behaviors following those norms accepted by the society. Socializing can guarantee certain harmony to society, since people's daily acts are generally in common. However, children can not only be socialized, but also should be taught the idea of individuals. Without people's various personalities, the society would fall to dull as people have the same interests and equal talents--there are no specialists in each field to lead the development. In a word, children should shape their own characters while learning how to cooperating(时态……) with others, as the destiny of society is determined by how children are socialized as well as how they are individualized.

When issue on raising children, I opine that nowaday education system has already been mature in developing their intellect. The cognitive skills of students, such as reasoning and logical thinking, are always quite proficient. Thus, science and technology are keeping making tremendous progress today, as the average intellect level of people has been increased.
   
However, in contrast, the education system fails to arrange satisfactory instructions for exploring children's own emotions. This leads to the development of every child's character and emotion is severely unbalanced. Even if children will have obtained enough academic knowledge when go to work, they might have problems in communicating with others and mitigating their own pressure. There are mainly two results of the unbalanced emphasis as follows. Children who always stick to their own opinions and refuse to accept others' suggestions are likely to turn to be egocentric, since they don't have the basic social skills such as cooperation and communication. This unsuccessful education for socialization may even result in dangerous situation to society as those children are easier growing to be extremists. On the other hand, some children are too socialized to maintain their own characters, thus, they are more likely to become mediocrities who merely（逻辑上有问题吧，是不是该用hardly） make remarkable contribution to society. (这一部分跟前面有点重复，而且应该稍稍强调一下不仅这两方面)Consequently, when raise children, adults should pay much more attention on guaranteeing them healthy personality.

In conclusion, it is children who are determinants of the destiny of society in the future, so we need to improve ways of instructing them by emphasizing both the development of intellect and emotions. Therefore（跟前面那句够不上因果关系，换换别的总结词比较好）, groups of well-socialized children who are also with distinct personalities will bring the society a bright future.

lourryUID: 2157624

建议楼主把字能放大点呵，细细，先看看~~

lourryUID: 2157624

I strongly hold the belief that children are determinants（the determinant） of our society's destiny while not only based on their socialized level(感觉这句话用while引导有点别扭), but indeed, it is kind of disappointed, as the speaker claims, that we haven't yet found a proper method to raise children. As a result, children who are not well-educated might be less effective in bringing about a better society.

As the society, in which the civilization booms, is always under the control of adults who create and regular（regulate, 或者用calibrate感觉更好点） social norms, their descendants, who are adult-to-bes, will certainly take over their tasks in the future and become the determinant of society's destiny. Although society is created by we human beings, we are also driven by society to evolve. In another word society and humans are interdependent, and that's why humans are also called as social animals.(看不太懂，这句) Thus, it is inevitable for young people to adopt socialization in the process of preparing for stepping into the society. From my perspective, socialization can be identified as the procedure of people shaping their own mind and molding their behaviors following those norms accepted by the society. Socializing can guarantee certain harmony to society, since people's daily acts are generally in common. However, children can not only be socialized, but also should be taught the idea of individuals. Without people's various personalities, the society would fall to dull as people have the same interests and equal talents--there are no specialists in each field to lead the development. In a word, children should shape their own characters while learning how to cooperating（cooperate） with others, as the destiny of society is determined by how children are socialized as well as how they are individualized.

When issue on raising children, I opine that nowaday education system has already been mature in developing their intellect. The cognitive skills of students, such as reasoning and logical thinking, are always quite proficient. Thus, science and technology are keeping making tremendous progress today, as the average intellect level of people has been increased.
   
However, in contrast, the education system fails to arrange satisfactory instructions for exploring children's own emotions. This leads to the development of every child's character and emotion is(which are) severely unbalanced. Even if children will have obtained enough academic knowledge when go to work, they might have problems in communicating with others and mitigating their own pressure. There are mainly two results of the unbalanced emphasis as follows. Children who always stick to their own opinions and refuse to accept others' suggestions are likely to turn to be egocentric, since they don't have the basic social skills such as cooperation and communication. This unsuccessful education for socialization may even result in dangerous situation to society as those children are easier growing to be extremists. On the other hand, some children are too socialized to maintain their own characters, thus, they are more likely to become mediocrities who merely make remarkable contribution to society. Consequently, when raise children, adults should pay much more attention on guaranteeing them healthy personality.

In conclusion, it is children who are determinants(the determinat) of the destiny of society in the future, so we need to improve ways of instructing them by emphasizing both the development of intellect and emotions. Therefore, groups of well-socialized children who are also with distinct personalities will bring the society a bright future.

整体感觉不错。
但是论证方面有点不够充实，感觉有点泛泛~
加油呵！~

[ 本帖最后由 lourry 于 2007-2-1 21:01 编辑 ]

kylinUID: 2242436

谢谢楼上两位～～辛苦拉
最近偶有点思维抽离。。。这几天一定会找时间把改好的放上来 呵呵

SkysijieUID: 2233317

I strongly hold the belief that children are determinants 可以这么用吗？of our society's destiny while not only based on their socialized level, but indeed, it is kind of disappointed, as the speaker claims, that we haven't yet found a proper method to raise children. As a result, children who are not well-educated might be less effective in bringing about a better society.

As the society, in which the civilization booms, is always under the control of adults who create and regularregulate怎样？ social norms, their descendants, who are adult-to-bes, will certainly take over their tasks in the future and become the determinant of society's destiny.呵呵，蛮长的一句 Although society is created by we好别扭 human beings, we are also driven by society to evolve. In another word, society and humans are interdependent, and that's why humans are also called as social animals. Thus, it is inevitable for young people to adopt socialization in the process of preparing for stepping into the society. From my perspective, socialization can be identified as the procedure of people shaping their own mind and molding their behaviors following those norms accepted by the society. Socializing can guarantee certain harmony to society, since people's daily acts are generally in common. However, children can not only be socialized, but also should be taught the idea of individuals. Without people's various personalities, the society would fall to dull as people have the same interests and equal talentstalent主要指先天具有的才能，用在这里合适吗？--there are no specialists in each field to lead the development. In a word, children should shape their own characters while learning how to cooperatingcooperate with otherssocialization就仅仅是如何和别人cooperate吗？, as the destiny of society is determined by how children are socialized as well as how they are individualized.

When issue on raising children, I opine that nowadaynowadays education system has already been mature in developing their intellect. The cognitive skills of students, such as reasoning and logical thinking, are always quite proficient. Thus, science and technology are keeping making tremendous progress today, as the average intellect level of people has been increased.
   
However, in contrast, the education system fails to arrange satisfactory instructions for exploring children's own emotions前面说了intellect,和它contrast的应该是non-intellect,而non-intellect包含emotion。这里只说emotion有点片面了，可以用emotion的重要性来说明non-intellect的重要. This leads to the development of every child's character and emotion is severely unbalanced. Even if children will have obtained enough academic knowledge when go to work, they might have problems in communicating with others and mitigating their own pressure. There are mainly two results of the unbalanced emphasis as follows. Children who always stick to their own opinions and refuse to accept others' suggestions are likely to turn to be egocentric, since they don't have the basic social skills such as cooperation and communication. This unsuccessful education for socialization may even result in dangerous situation to society as those children are easier growing to be extremists. On the other hand, some children are too socialized to maintain their own characters, thus, they are more likely to become mediocrities who merely make remarkable contribution to society平庸的人能对社会做出显著贡献？. Consequently, when raise children, adults should pay much more attention on guaranteeing them healthy personality.

In conclusion, it is children who are determinants of the destiny of society in the future, so we need to improve ways of instructing them by emphasizing both the development of intellect and emotions. Therefore, groups of well-socialized children who are also with distinct personalities will bring the society a bright future.
总体感觉还是不错的，不过论证得不太严密，并且不很深入。这么迟才来改，见谅哦，说得不对的地方希望能指正，共同提高嘛

kylinUID: 2242436

很感谢楼上几位的指教～～偶终于静下心来把它改了改 还有不足之处麻烦指出～呵呵

I strongly hold the belief that children are the determinant of our society's destiny though not only based on their socialized level, but indeed, it is kind of disappointed, as the speaker claims, that we haven't yet found a proper method to raise children. As a result, children who are not well-educated might be less effective in bringing about a better society.

As the society, in which the civilization booms, is always under the control of adults who create and regulate/calibrate social norms. Their descendants, who are adult-to-bes, will certainly take over their tasks in the future, and become the determinant of society's destiny. Although society is created by human beings, we are also driven by society to evolve. Thus, it is inevitable for young people to adopt socialization in the process of preparing for stepping into the society. From my perspective, socialization can be identified as the procedure of people shaping their own mind and molding their behaviors following those norms accepted by the society. Socializing can guarantee certain harmony to society, since people's daily acts are generally in common. However, children can not only be socialized, but also should be taught the idea of individuals. Without people's various personalities, the society would fall to dull as people have the same interests and equal capacities--there are no specialists in each field to lead the development. In a word, children should shape their own characters while learning how to be in step with the society, as the destiny of society is determined by how children are socialized as well as how they are individualized.

When issue on raising children, I opine that nowaday education system has already been mature in developing their intellect. The cognitive skills of students, such as reasoning and logical thinking, are always quite proficient. Thus, science and technology are keeping making tremendous progress today, as the average intellect level of people has been increased.
   
However, in contrast, the education system fails to arrange satisfactory instructions in the respect of non-intellect, hence ignores exploring children's own emotions. This leads to the development of every child's character and emotion is severely unbalanced. Even if children will have obtained enough academic knowledge when go to work, they might have problems in communicating with others and mitigating their own pressure. There are mainly two results of the unbalanced emphasis as follows. Children who always stick to their own opinions and refuse to accept others' suggestions are likely to turn to be egocentric, since they don't have the basic social skills such as cooperation and communication. This unsuccessful education for socialization may even result in dangerous situation to society as those children are easier growing to be extremists. On the other hand, some children are too socialized to maintain their own characters, thus, they are more likely to become mediocrities who hardly make remarkable contribution to society. Consequently, when raise children, adults should pay much more attention on guaranteeing them healthy personality.

In conclusion, we need to improve ways of instructing children by emphasizing both the development of intellect and emotions, as groups of well-socialized children who are also with distinct personalities will bring the society a bright future.

[ 本帖最后由 kylin 于 2007-2-7 09:59 编辑 ]