argument25,写得还算顺手，帮忙看看，必回，谢谢

touchparadiseUID：197128

25The following appeared in a memo from the mayor of the town of Hopewell.

"Two years ago, the town of Ocean View built a new municipal golf course and resort hotel. During the past two years, tourism in Ocean View has increased, new businesses have opened there, and Ocean View's tax revenues have risen by 30 percent. The best way to improve Hopewell's economy, and generate additional tax revenues, is to build a golf course and resort hotel similar to those in Ocean View."

From the statement above from the mayor of the town of Hopewell, it is believed that the opening of a new municipal golf course and resort hotel made the tourism in Ocean View increase and meanwhile its tax revenues rise. Consequently he suggested that, if Hopewell wants to improve economy and generate additional tax revenues, the best way is to take the experience of Ocean View to build a golf course and resort hotel. However, he failed to consider other possible alternatives to the increase of the tourism and the rise of the tax revenues.

It is possible that the government of Ocean View adopted several ways to develop the economy such as supporting to build more profitable enterprises, improve the export and import of the city and so on. Of course, the increased tourism may contribute to the rise of tax revenues, as well as the other developments in the past two years. However, it is impartial and unfair to attribute totally to the new golf course. The development of a city as well as the rise of tax revenues is a whole project, so every aspect should be taken into account.

Whether it is the new municipal golf course and resort hotel playing a vital role to make Ocean View more attractive for the tourists is still suspectable. Just as mentioned above, there may be other possibilities for the increase of its tourism. That includes the advertisements the city made to improve its image, a very significant event happened in Ocean View during the past two years, a new tourism site was developed maybe, and so on. The opening of the new golf course and the resort hotel is only ONE of these facts that did contribution to the tourism of the city. Therefore, to build a new golf course and resort hotel in Hopewell with the purpose of increasing tourism and raise tax revenues may fail. That is possible.

Additionally, on the other hand, even if it is the new golf course and the resort hotel helped a lot to the city of Ocean View, Hopewell still need to consider a lot of other facts that may have effect on the result of the suggestion of the mayor. For example, there may be much more rich men in Ocean View and the cities and towns neighbouring it rather than Hopewell. This fact may be crucial for a city to decide whether to build a new golf course and resort hotel to attract more people to improve its tourism. It is determined to the position of the city in the country, the former reputation of the city to the citizens of the nation, and so on. Without concise and persuasive investigation, it would be imprudent for the mayor to have any final decision.

sunbirdwangUID：193021

Two years ago, the town of Ocean View built a new municipal golf course and resort hotel. During the past two years, tourism in Ocean View has increased, new businesses have opened there, and Ocean View's tax revenues have risen by 30 percent. The best way to improve Hopewell's economy, and generate additional tax revenues, is to build a golf course and resort hotel similar to those in Ocean View."

From the statement above from the mayor of the town of Hopewell, it is believed that the opening of a new municipal golf course and resort hotel made the tourism in Ocean View increase and meanwhile its tax revenues rise. Consequently he suggested that, if Hopewell wants to improve economy and generate additional tax revenues, the best way is to take the experience of Ocean View to build a golf course and resort hotel. However, he failed to consider other possible alternatives to the increase of the tourism and the rise of the tax revenues.

It is possible that the government of Ocean View adopted several ways to develop the economy such as supporting to build more profitable enterprises, improve(improving) the export and import of the city and so on. Of course, the increased tourism may contribute to the rise of tax revenues, as well as the other developments in the past two years. However, it is impartial and unfair to attribute totally to the new golf course. The development of a city as well as the rise of tax revenues is a whole project, so every aspect should be taken into account.

Whether it is the new municipal golf course and resort hotel playing a vital role to make Ocean View more attractive for the tourists is still suspectable. Just as mentioned above, there may be other possibilities for the increase of its tourism. That includes the advertisements the city made to improve its image, a very significant event happened in Ocean View during the past two years, a new tourism site was developed maybe, and so on. The opening of the new golf course and the resort hotel is only ONE of these facts that did contribution to the tourism of the city. Therefore, to build a new golf course and resort hotel in Hopewell with the purpose of increasing tourism and raise tax revenues may fail. That is possible.

Additionally, on the other hand, even if it is the new golf course and the resort hotel helped a lot to the city of Ocean View, Hopewell still need to consider a lot of other facts that may have effect on the result of the suggestion of the mayor. For example, there may be much more rich men in Ocean View and the cities and towns neighbouring it rather(rather多余) than Hopewell. This fact may be crucial for a city to decide whether to build a new golf course and resort hotel to attract more people to improve its tourism. It is determined to the position of the city in the country, the former reputation of the city to the citizens of the nation, and so on. Without concise and persuasive investigation, it would be imprudent for the mayor to have any final decision.
我觉得最后一段可以适当缩减一下，最好加一个结尾段能对上文提到的各个fallacy总结一下，这样看起来文章的结构会更好一些。另外每段开头我比较习惯加一些one reason, another, in addition之类的信号词，看起来文章更像一个整体。总体来说我觉得你写得很好，语言比较流畅。水平有限，有不妥之处我们一起讨论吧！
有空帮我改下作文吧：）

sunbirdwangUID：193021

请问同学是不是3月的作文,我们一起互相拍文章吧

alinazhUID：187151

我也把这篇接下了！！

这是我的一片Argu，请帮忙修改！！谢谢！！
http://edu.gter.net/bbs/showthread.php?s=&threadid=251404

touchparadiseUID：197128

好。太好了。我是3月25号的。有固定的parter最好了。

flyfish9UID：156664

25The following appeared in a memo from the mayor of the town of Hopewell.

"Two years ago, the town of Ocean View built a new municipal golf course and resort hotel. During the past two years, tourism in Ocean View has increased, new businesses have opened there, and Ocean View's tax revenues have risen by 30 percent. The best way to improve Hopewell's economy, and generate additional tax revenues, is to build a golf course and resort hotel similar to those in Ocean View."

From the statement above from the mayor of the town of Hopewell, it is believed that the opening of a new municipal golf course and resort hotel made the tourism in Ocean View increase and meanwhile its tax revenues rise. Consequently he suggested that, if Hopewell wants to improve economy and generate additional tax revenues, the best way is to take the experience of Ocean View to build a golf course and resort hotel. However, he failed fails, 事态要统一，argument中一般也都用一般时的 to consider other possible alternatives to the increase of the tourism and the rise of the tax revenues.

It is possible that the government of Ocean View adopted several ways to develop the economy such as supporting to build more profitable enterprises, improve improving the export and import of the city and so on. Of course, the increased tourism may contribute to the rise of tax revenues, as well as the other developments in the past two years. However, it is impartial and unfair to attribute totally to the new golf course and resort hotel. The development of a city as well as the rise of tax revenues is a whole project, so every aspect should be taken into account.

Whether it is the new municipal golf course and resort hotel playing a vital role to make Ocean View more attractive for the tourists is still suspectable. Just as mentioned above, there may be other possibilities for the increase of its tourism. That includes the advertisements the city made to improve its image, a very significant event happened in Ocean View during the past two years, a new tourism site was developed maybe, and so on. The opening of the new golf course and the resort hotel is only ONE of these facts that did contribution to the tourism of the city. Therefore, to build a new golf course and resort hotel in Hopewell with the purpose of increasing tourism and raise tax revenues may fail. That is possible.此段应该放在上一段前面,才有递进的层次感

Additionally, on the other hand, even if it is the new golf course and the resort hotel helped a lot to the city of Ocean View, Hopewell still need to consider a lot of other facts that may have effect on the result of the suggestion of the mayor. For example, there may be much more rich men risidents, 涉及性别的词能不用最好别用 in Ocean View and the cities and towns neighbouring it rather than Hopewell. This fact may be crucial for a city to decide whether to build a new golf course and resort hotel to attract more people to improve its tourism. It is determined to the position of the city in the country, the former reputation of the city to the citizens of the nation, and so on. Without concise and persuasive investigation, it would be imprudent for the mayor to have any final decision.

虽然没结尾，但是已经很清楚了。不过我也习惯了有结尾的文章，看起来不是很舒服，呵呵
总体感觉行文流畅，说理清楚，不错的文章

touchparadiseUID：197128

说得不错！昨天晚上一边看oscar的录播，一边在电脑前面敲出来的，有些地方确实欠考虑了些。下午拜读大作一下。

alinazhUID：187151

No.1  argument25,写得还算顺手，帮忙看看，必回，谢谢
25The following appeared in a memo from the mayor of the town of Hopewell.

"Two years ago, the town of Ocean View built a new municipal golf course and resort hotel. During the past two years, tourism in Ocean View has increased, new businesses have opened there, and Ocean View's tax revenues have risen by 30 percent. The best way to improve Hopewell's economy, and generate additional tax revenues, is to build a golf course and resort hotel similar to those in Ocean View."

From the statement above from the mayor of the town of Hopewell, it is believed that the opening of a new municipal golf course and resort hotel made the tourism in Ocean View increase and meanwhile its tax revenues rise. Consequently he suggested that, if Hopewell wants to improve economy and generate additional tax revenues, the best way is to take the experience of Ocean View to build a golf course and resort hotel. However, he failed to consider other possible alternatives to the increase of the tourism and the rise of the tax revenues. 开头有点罗嗦

It is possible that the government of Ocean View adopted several ways to develop the economy such as supporting to build more profitable enterprises, improve the export and import of the city and so on. Of course, the increased tourism may contribute to the rise of tax revenues, as well as the other developments in the past two years. However, it is impartial and unfair to attribute totally to the new golf course. The development of a city as well as the rise of tax revenues is a whole project, so every aspect should be taken into account.

Whether it is the new municipal golf course and resort hotel playing a vital role to make Ocean View more attractive for the tourists is still suspectable. Just as mentioned above, there may be other possibilities for the increase of its tourism. That includes the advertisements the city made to improve its image, a very significant event happened in Ocean View during the past two years, a new tourism site was developed maybe, and so on. The opening of the new golf course and the resort hotel is only ONE of these facts that did contribution to the tourism of the city. Therefore, to build a new golf course and resort hotel in Hopewell with the purpose of increasing tourism and raise tax revenues may fail. That is possible.

Additionally, on the other hand, even if it is the new golf course and the resort hotel helped a lot to the city of Ocean View, Hopewell still need to consider a lot of other facts that may have effect on the result of the suggestion of the mayor. For example, there may be much more rich men in Ocean View and the cities and towns neighbouring it rather than Hopewell.这个例子我觉得举的不好，有可能使国外游客多呢？ This fact 不一定吧may be crucial for a city to decide whether to build a new golf course and resort hotel to attract more people to improve its tourism. It is determined to the position of the city in the country, the former reputation of the city to the citizens of the nation, and so on. Without concise and persuasive investigation, it would be imprudent for the mayor to have any final decision.
这篇文章逻辑没有问题，文字语言也不错，写法上很独特。