1006G[REBORN FROM THE ASHES组]备考日记by 都说了不是又八！= =我不是神的孩子。

都说了不是又八UID：2728357

理论上来说放在前头的需要是长篇幅多角度全方位的自我检讨。

——大家看到这个ID了。本位田又八同学。不了解他的可以去看一下井上雄彦老师的浪客行。
我的话说完了。


北京某大学中文系学生A。考过一次G，感觉不大好。语言那种醇香透顶的感觉还没有学习到。
更重要的是……好像考砸了呀混蛋……（那在上头还扮什么学术= =）


Anyway.发自心底地喊一声。



你到底要抱着【潜力】的招牌到什么时候呢。




=。=不罗嗦了。

都说了不是又八UID：2728357

1. What does X mean? (Definition)

2. What are the various features of X? (Description)
1
3. What are the component parts of X? (Simple Analysis)
1
4. How is X made or done? (Process Analysis)
1
5. How should X be made or done? (Directional Analysis)
1
6. What is the essential function of X? (Functional Analysis)
1
7. What are the causes of X? (Causal Analysis) BE EACW
1
8. What are the consequences of X? (Causal Analysis)
1
9. What are the types of X? (Classification)
1
10. How is X like or unlike Y? (Comparison)
1
11. What is the present status of X? (Comparison)
1
12. What is the significance of X? (Interpretation)
1
13. What are the facts about X? (Reportage)
1
14. How did X happen? (Narration)
1
15. What kind of person is X? (Characterization/Profile)
1
16. What is my personal response to X? (Reflection)
1
17. What is my memory of X? (Reminiscence)
1
18. What is the value of X? (Evaluation)
1
19. What are the essential major points or features of X? (Summary)
1
20. What case can be made for or against X? (Persuasion)


Had the 20 points expanded, the structure would be 【parallelized developed】.
Anyway, t`is the way in which art students are thinking. Diversive, and expansive. Easy to develop in width, difficult to develop in depth.

都说了不是又八UID：2728357

接下来的几讲。

前几篇文章：反正你就多写就对了啦。细部的东西讲了很多，但是鉴于已经找到适合自己的写作习惯与写作方法，一切就都搞定了。
真正的紧张克服办法，大家都会稍微养成一点儿的。

当无法起笔的时候：
冷静先。想好段落行文结构。



第六天。
1.TS是啥。目的又是啥。
2.全文主题。在一二段最后。死规定记住就好。
BTW, the theme sentence would be important to be condensed and concise.
The very sentence is crucial to the article.
    1) according to the whole article.
    2) focused on detail problems.
    3) make ur point clear enough.
    4) refutes the counter-arguments.
    5) avoid the first person.
and: remember to construct a thesis 【which is still under debate. no axioms are to be put down here.】
       otherwise there would be no use arguing on.


下面优劣thesis的对比倒是最好的部分。细细看来，每一个坏句子多半都很短，意思直直地掉下来。修改后的好句子多少都有转折，递进，等等。
众句子其实只要落落大方地坐在首段最后一两句的地方，同时看了之后让人心生好感，很好地概括了全文，这就暂时可以了。

david36355UID：2603992

读熟读精就好。
本来就是基础部分，来个水漫金山洋洋洒洒三五十页，叫人如何下手复习。
资讯时代，到处都是过剩信息。
所以没有粘原文，只取了对自己有帮助的部分放了上来。

【1】
There is a pen, a knife and several books on the desk.
The majority of the students likes English.


【3】
Several thousand new books were sold out last week.


【4】
Were it not for the snowy weather, we would be all right.

If he should call me tomorrow, I would let him know.

Had Paul received six more votes in the last election, he would be our chairman now.

Had Paul received six more votes in the last election, he hadn’t contacted our chairman now.

There is a real possibility that these animals could be frightened, should there be a sudden loud noise.

The board deemed it urgent that these files should be printed right away.

Jean Wagner’s most enduring contribution to the study of Afro-American poetry is his insistence be analyzed that it in a religious, as well as worldly, frame of reference.

I would have gone to visit him in the hospital had it been at all possible, but I was fully occupied the whole of last week.

The sun rises in the east and sets in the west, so it seems as if the sun were circling round the earth.

If the Watergate Incident had not occurred Nixon would not have resigned from the presidency.

The teacher suggested that her students write a composition on their experiences with ESP.

He speaks Chinese as fluently as if he were a Chinese.

Although most adopted persons want the right to know who their natural parents are, some who have found them wish that they hadn’t had the experience of meeting.

He told her to return the book in time so that others might have a chance to read it .





1．Were it not for the snowy weather, we would be all right.
   条件句表示与现在事实相反的虚拟。
3. If he should call me tomorrow, I would let him know.
   条件句表示与未来事实的虚拟。
8. Had Paul received six more votes in the last election, he would be our chairman now.
   这道题目是一个混合虚拟语气的句子。条件句省略了if，把助词had提前到主语前面，表示对过去情况的假设，而主句中now表明了对现在情况的假设，所以应选would(should, could, might)+动词原形这种表达形式。
A. must have been B. would have been C. were D.


12. Had Paul received six more votes in the last election, he hadn’t contacted our chairman now.
    注意主句now表示现在的时间状语，所以主句是对现在虚拟，从句是对过去虚拟。
A. must have been B. would have been C. were D. hadn’t contacted

14. There is a real possibility that these animals could be frightened, should there be a sudden loud noise.
    从句表示虚拟，而主句是事实。
A. being there B. should there be C. there was D. there having been
15. The board deemed it urgent that these files should be printed right away.
    it是形式宾语，urgent是宾语补足语，that引导的从句是真正的宾语从句，该从句的内容被认为是urgent（急迫的），这样从句的谓语动词要求用虚拟语气形式，即should（可以省略）+动词原形。因此，本题正确答案是（D）。
A. had to be printed B. should have been printed
C. must be printed D. should be printed
16. Jean Wagner’s most enduring contribution to the study of Afro-American poetry is his insistence be analyzed that it in a religious, as well as worldly, frame of reference.
A. is to be analyzed B. has been analyzed
C. be analyzed D. should have been analyzed
    在表示要求、的愿望、的建议、的请求、的命令等含义的名词同位语从句中，从句谓语动词要用虚拟语气形式，即should(可以省略)+动词原形。

17. I would have gone to visit him in the hospital had it been at all possible, but I was fully occupied the whole of last week.
A. were B. had been C. have been D. was
17．（D）本道题目的前半句话是对过去情况的一种假设，但事实上并没有发生，而事实上没有发生的真实原因是句子的后半部分由but引导的转折句所表述的真实。因而but所引导的句子中应该用表示志过去事实相符合的表陈述的时态，即一般过去时。

20. The sun rises in the east and sets in the west, so it seems as if the sun were circling round the earth.
A. were circling B. circles C. is circling D. be circling
20．（A）as if引导的从句要求用虚拟语气，表示同时或将来的情况，动词要用过去式（be动词用were）或would(could等)+动词原形，本句话中指的是当时的情况，所以要用过去式，故（A）是正确答案。
21. If the Watergate Incident had not occurred Nixon would not have resigned from the presidency.
A. did not occur B. had not occurred C. was not occurring D. be circling
    had not occurred表示对过去的虚拟，条件句中要用过去完成式，主句中要用should(would, could, might)+动词原形的过去分词。
24. The teacher suggested that her students write a composition on their experiences with ESP.
A. write a composition on their B. to write composition about the
C. wrote some compositions of his or her D. had written any compositions for his
    suggest后面的从句要用虚拟语气形式，其形式为should（可以省略）+动词原形。

25. He speaks Chinese as fluently as if he were a Chinese.
A. were B. had been C. is D. has been
    表示与现在相反的虚拟。
31. Although most adopted persons want the right to know who their natural parents are, some who have found them wish that they hadn’t had the experience of meeting.
A. hadn’t B. didn’t have had C. hadn’t had D. hadn’t have
    who引导的定语从句中的现在完成时表示动作业已发生，所以主句中表示的虚拟是针对已经发生了的行为，所以应该用过去完成式表示对过去的虚拟。
33. He told her to return the book in time so that others might have a chance to read it .
A. may have B. will have C. would have D. might have

   连so that引导的从句中要求用虚拟语气，表示一种假设，形式为might+动词原形

都说了不是又八UID：2728357

On reading the NO.7 of fundamental course of writing.
well i have to say the word【signpost】is a good one.

【retaining a forward momentum-->t`is important.
meaning i have to use questions and answers to make the article going.
在写ISSUE的时候，有着很大的作用吧。】

好的signpost，不止是signpost而已。同时还承接着全文的承势工作。

NO.8

写作逻辑顺序：
1.次要到主要。more important, most difficult, still harder, by far the most expensive, even more damaging, worse yet, 比较松动。
2.所谓心理顺序，其实不过是按照一段演讲稿的方式自然生成而已。站在听众，怎样能够调动他们的情绪？
3.总分。分总。难易。亲疏。种种分类，总要有个顺序才好，而且这个顺序【最好在signpost里面加以体现。】换言之如果是亲疏，那么【what we`re more familiar is that..】就好。

记住。如果你有比较精彩的论述点，可以尝试一下把它们放在文章的后半段。

Avoid stringing out a list of 7 or more headings without subheadings.


要形成树形图的感觉，而不是光秃秃的N个平行观点。3～4个即可，但是要分主次地展开。
接着：最重要的其实只是保持思路连贯而已。如果你按照正常的思路来想明白了，那么读者沿着你的轨迹也能够读明白。


处理复杂顺序，使用的WHAT HOW WHY的方法，实质上就是单纯的条理模板。


ON how to map an essay.这个部分实话说是觉得比较精彩的。重点研读吧。


The easiest way to do this is to map the essay's ideas via a written narrative. Such an account will give you a preliminary record of your ideas, and will allow you to remind yourself at every turn of the reader's needs in understanding your idea. 虽然话是这么讲没错，但是整个文章这样写是否会显得模式化。


防止堆积：Walk-through essays follow the structure of their sources rather than establishing their own.

Walk-through essays follow the structure of their sources rather than establishing their own.

Walk-through essays follow the structure of their sources rather than establishing their own.
容许我抄三遍。

Such essays generally have a descriptive thesis rather than an argumentative one.
Such essays generally have a descriptive thesis rather than an argumentative one.
Such essays generally have a descriptive thesis rather than an argumentative one.
囧囧囧。


Although they don't always signal trouble, these paragraph openers often indicate that an essay's thesis and structure need work:
they suggest that the essay simply reproduces the chronology of the source text
(in the case of time words: first this happens, then that, and afterwards another thing . . . )
or simply lists example after example
("In addition, the use of color indicates another way that the painting differentiates between good and evil").

都说了不是又八UID：2728357

看到MAPPING一部分的时候泪流满面。
这里对于本人之前犯下的毛病可谓penchant至极。
*
State your thesis in a sentence or two, then write another sentence saying why it's important to make that claim. Indicate, in other words, what a reader might learn by exploring the claim with you. Here you're anticipating your answer to the "why" question that you'll eventually flesh out in your conclusion.


*
Begin your next sentence like this: "To be convinced by my claim, the first thing a reader needs to know is . . ." Then say why that's the first thing a reader needs to know, and name one or two items of evidence you think will make the case. This will start you off on answering the "what" question. (Alternately, you may find that the first thing your reader needs to know is some background information.)

*
Begin each of the following sentences like this: "The next thing my reader needs to know is . . ."Once again, say why, and name some evidence. Continue until you've mapped out your essay.

这一部分，可能就是解决的方法了。
等下用笔抄一遍，然后好好消化。

都说了不是又八UID：2728357

【7】
No sooner had they settled themselves in their seats in the theatre THAN the curtain went up.
We’ll start off as we planned no matter whether he will come or not.

I don’t know the reason WHY you were absent from the meeting, but I am sure that someone will tell me the reason THAT you haven’t told me.
Because of the traffic jam THAT I was caught, I was late for the meeting.

比起前面略显僵化的东西来，下面这些东西对写作才真的帮助更大吧= =
Not Parallel:

The production manager was asked to write his report quickly, accurate ly, and in a detailed manner.

Parallel:

The production manager was asked to write his report quickly, accurately, and thoroughly.

Example 3

Not Parallel:

The teacher said that he was a poor student because he waited until the last minute to study for the exam, completed his lab problems in a careless manner, and his motivation was low.

Parallel:

The teacher said that he was a poor student because he waited until the last minute to study for the exam, completed his lab problems in a careless manner, and lacked motivation.


Not Parallel:

The salesman expected that he would present his product at the meeting, that there would be time for him to show his slide presentation, and that questions would be asked by prospective buyers. (passive)

Parallel:

The salesman expected that he would present his product at the meeting, that there would be time for him to show his slide presentation, and that prospective buyers would ask him questions.

Not Parallel:

The dictionary can be used for these purposes: to find word meanings, pronunciations, correct spellings, and looking up irregular verbs.

Parallel:

The dictionary can be used for these purposes: to find word meanings, pronunciations, correct spellings, and irregular verbs.

都说了不是又八UID：2728357

段落的行文结构，和全文的行文结构一样。

这个道理虽然明白，但是以往来说做得不够好，表现在：
1.段落当中，只能看出低级罗列的树形图而已，之间是互相平行的关系
2.在树形图前，树形图后，段落里居然没有别的啥内容了

注意。在一段结尾的时候，要注意向下一个自然段有一些自然过渡的趋势来。
一段当中的东西其实通常很简单：论点，论据，结论。

关于前面论述过的如何让读者知道下一步该怎样写（就是迎合期待性阅读的体验啦）

1.USE ORIENTING WORDS AND PHRASES
这个并不是很难。previously,obviously等等，很多词有着这样的本事。
2.LET THE NEW AMPLIFY THE OLD：（注目）
因为旧的只是为了新的而服务的，【Such background information is most useful if it is strategically placed to reinforce and contrast with your message, not as a single lump at the beginning. 】
其实就是这样的感觉：将旧事物放在后头好处多。
3.ADD EXPLANATORY WORDS AND PHRASES。


另：

1.【一段，一事。】
2.【TRY TO HAVE A WORD OR PHRASE SOMEWHERE IN EACH SENTENCE THAT REFERS TO SOMETHING IN A PREVIOUS SENTENCE. 】
也就是所谓的“核心词重复”，可以让一段文章更有粘连感。在填空题里可以用到，在这里也一样。



Combine the phrase and main clause into one:
To improve his results, the experiment was done again.
Who wanted to improve results? This sentence says that the experiment was trying to improve its own results. To revise, combine the phrase and the main clause into one sentence. The revision might look something like this:
He improved his results by doing the experiment again.

Incorrect: After reading the original study, the article remains unconvincing.
Revised: After reading the original study, I find the article unconvincing.
Incorrect: Relieved of your responsibilities at your job, your home should be a place to relax.
Revised: Relieved of your responsibilities at your job, you should be able to relax at home.
Incorrect: The experiment was a failure, not having studied the lab manual carefully.
Revised: They failed the experiment, not having studied the lab manual carefully.

都说了不是又八UID：2728357

堆了这么多东西，还真是不容易轻松搞定呀。

白天要出远门，所以这里先进行一些微量的学习，也不算断了日子。


如何有效论证（这个应该是第十天的练习了吧。）
关于论据的问题。
1.切题。2.内部逻辑联接（其实就是连接词的问题）

论据能否打动人，关键在于换位思考。

都说了不是又八UID：2728357

Back.

看来今天时间不多了，还有35分钟就强制倒下。
【Fundamental】部分。
1)
Today, Americans are too self-centered. Even our families don't matter as much anymore as they once did. Other people and activities take precedence. In fact, the evidence shows that most American families no longer eat together, preferring instead to eat on the go while rushing to the next appointment. Sit-down meals are a time to share and connect with others; however, that connection has become less valued, as families begin to prize individual activities over shared time, promoting self-centeredness over group identity.
【大家其实可以看出来这段的论证好在哪里：划线的部分首先是首尾都有明显的和中心联系的句子，让你知道你在读什么，然后就是后边的几乎每个句子都有逻辑的连接词汇连接了起来．】
其实只要养成了比较良好的语言习惯，这个地方会感觉更好的。

Questions to Ask Yourself When Revising Your Paper
1) Do I avoid generalizing in my paper by specifically explaining how my evidence is representative?
2) Have I offered my reader evidence to substantiate each assertion I make in my paper?
3) Do I thoroughly explain why/how my evidence backs up my ideas?
4) Do I provide evidence that not only confirms but also qualifies my paper’s main claims?
5) Do I use evidence to test and evolve my ideas, rather than to just confirm them?
6) Do I cite my sources thoroughly and correctly?

2）each assertion。不能出现无本之木。


4）5）论据对于观点的作用非常重要。不只是Confirm，而是 qualify， test, evolve。
【这句话必须回去好好想想。】



论据只要讲清楚即可。

都说了不是又八UID：2728357

语法部分。
到了后二十余期，琐碎的点越来越多，贴近实际的例子越来越多。
但是时间缘故，只能SKIM一遍而已。

【关于结尾。】
当然，这部分任务的重点显然不在这一部分。
基础写作讲座部分，关于结尾，重新看了一下。感想还是不少的。

与XDF刻意强调的观点完全相反，这部分大有文章可做。
1.结尾很难。
2.结尾需要：重现主题句，完善全文，留下印象。三点同时做到还是非常有难度的。按照杂志的韵味来结尾或许会比较好吧。

结尾的【强调文章重要性】一环，从来没有下过工夫。
这个可就有点麻烦了。让阅卷人知道这篇文章不仅仅是一个破作文而已，办法其实很简单：又见SO WHAT.
SO WHAT只不过是一个把文章不断说圆，把篇幅不断完善的简单方法，但是和洋鬼子的由小到大的一步步推演思维方式一拍即合。

难道说SO WHAT就是老外思维方式的源头所在？不瞎想了。

You: Basically, I'm just saying that education was important to Douglass.

Friend: So what?

You: Well, it was important because it was a key to him feeling like a free and equal citizen.

Friend: Why should anybody care?

You: That's important because plantation owners tried to keep slaves from being educated so that they could maintain control. When Douglass obtained an education, he undermined that control personally.

这里应该就是这种文章策略的使用了。

• 
  
• Synthesize,（综合全面的观点） don't summarize
  • Don't simply repeat things that were in your paper. They have read it. Show them how the points you made and the support and examples you used were not random, but fit together.

这里并不明白实际应该如何操作。非常重要的大问题，却一笔带过了。

Redirect your readers

• Give your reader something to think about, perhaps a way to use your paper in the "real" world. If your introduction went from general to specific, make your conclusion go from specific to general. Think globally. （结尾最后从具体再回到一般）Propose a course of action, a solution to an issue, or questions for further study. This can redirect your reader's thought process and help her to apply your info and ideas to her own life or to see the broader implications.

还有这里。两件事情。1.回到一般。2.结尾要拿出点东西。问题也好，回答也好，思索也好，结尾不可收尽。

结尾最好有更加广阔的影响。这个不须多说。

Introduction

From the parking lot, I could see the towers of the castle of the Magic Kingdom standing stately against the blue sky. To the right, the tall peak of The Matterhorn rose even higher. From the left, I could hear the jungle sounds of Adventureland. As I entered the gate, Main Street stretched before me with its quaint shops evoking an old-fashioned small town so charming it could never have existed. I was entranced. Disneyland may have been built for children, but it brings out the child in adults.

Conclusion

I thought I would spend a few hours at Disneyland, but here I was at 1:00 A.M., closing time, leaving the front gates with the now dark towers of the Magic Kingdom behind me. I could see tired children, toddling along and struggling to keep their eyes open as best they could. Others slept in their parents' arms as we waited for the parking lot tram that would take us to our cars. My forty-year-old feet ached, and I felt a bit sad to think that in a couple of days I would be leaving California, my vacation over, to go back to my desk. But then I smiled to think that for at least a day I felt ten years old again.（划线部分都是和前面呼应的部分）

关于首尾呼应的东西。很视觉化嘛，好像分镜头摇回阿甘面前的羽毛一样。但是不得不说这个INTRO和CONCLUSION的段子非常不像是议论文。基本没有任何实际意义。关于首尾呼应，还是接下来在实践中找感觉吧。

IN CLOSING. IN SUMMARY. IN SUM.
它们在最后一段真的不可或缺？

不。

TRY NOT TO USE`EM.

我们可以看一看这一段，还是非常漂亮的。

1.Beginning with an unnecessary, overused phrase such as "in conclusion," "in summary," or "in closing." Although these phrases can work in speeches, they come across as wooden and trite in writing.（很重要！）
·         2.Stating the thesis for the very first time in the conclusion.
·         3.Introducing a new idea or subtopic in your conclusion.
·         4.Ending with a rephrased thesis statement without any substantive changes.
·         5.Making sentimental, emotional appeals (out of character with the rest of an analytical paper).
·
Including evidence (quotations, statistics, etc.) that should be in the body of the paper.

看过之后，关于原先写结尾的想法完全改变了。

第一条。第三条。第四条。
这三条就说明，自己原先的结尾段都是垃圾。

嘛，反正我们坐在这里，就是等着得到这样的改变的说。

反例过后是更多的反例：
Four Kinds of Ineffective Conclusions

1. The "That's My Story and I'm Sticking to It" Conclusion.

This conclusion just restates the thesis and is usually painfully short.

It does not push the ideas forward. People write this kind of conclusion when they can't think of anything else to say. Example: In conclusion, Frederick Douglass was, as we have seen, a pioneer in American education, proving that education was a major force for social change with regard to slavery.


2. The "Sherlock Holmes: Conclusion. Sometimes writers will state the thesis for the very first time in the conclusion.

You might be tempted to use this strategy if you don't want to give everything away too early in your paper. You may think it would be more dramatic to keep the reader in the dark until the end and then "wow" her with your main idea, much like a Sherlock Holmes mystery.

The reader, however, does not expect a mystery, but an analytical discussion of your topic in an academic style, with the main argument (thesis) stated up front. Example: (After a paper that lists numerous incidents from the book but never says what these incidents reveal about Douglass and his views on education): So, as the evidence above demonstrates, Douglass saw education as a way to undermine the slaveholders' power and also an important step toward freedom.


3. The "America the Beautiful"/"I Am Woman"/"We Shall Overcome" Conclusion.

This kind of conclusion usually draws on emotion to make its appeal, but while this emotion and even sentimentality may be very heartfelt, it is usually out of character with the rest of an analytical paper.

A more sophisticated commentary, rather than emotional praise, would be a more fitting tribute to the topic. Bad Example: Because of the efforts of fine Americans like Frederick Douglass, countless others have seen the shining beacon of light that is education. His example was a torch that lit the way for others. Frederick Douglass was truly an American hero.


4. The "Grab Bag" Conclusion.

This kind of conclusion includes extra information that the writer found or thought of but couldn't integrate into the main paper.

You may find it hard to leave out details that you discovered after hours of research and thought, but adding random facts and bits of evidence at the end of an otherwise-well-organized essay can just create confusion. Bad Example: In addition to being an educational pioneer, Frederick Douglass provides an interesting case study for masculinity in the American South. He also offers historians an interesting glimpse into slave resistance when he confronts Covey, the overseer. His relationships with female relatives reveal the importance of family in the slave community.



漂亮至极——————尽管我还不知道该怎么写。

都说了不是又八UID：2728357

【关于简洁。】


多写垃圾不如不写。宁缺毋滥，道理不难。而难处，一在于充分的练习，让我们拿出来的东西字字珠玑；二在于勇气，在于没有好东西可拿的时候不会拿出坏东西来充数。

关于如何过题库的问题：上次考之前只是草草地过了一遍，一边想着【上了场其实还是比较来得及的呀你看我现场作文的能力】，一边手里除了那种模板化的写作方式什么都没有。
要过题库。就是这样。


下面的文章非常漂亮，但是终归只是防止大家走上歧路。忘了谁以前说过GRE是纯体力活。不禁哈哈一声。

666版主在下头回帖的开头倒是蛮漂亮的：

Some acclaiming it as the guarantee of healthy mental life and popular interests, while others regard it as the origin of autarchy and oppression, censorship, fascinating great wisdoms and intelligences to deliberate, in modern epoch, receives more controversial commentaries than ever before. (背景)Actually, the essential issue, if censorship is justified, as is demonstrated below, could have different answers in different situations.(观点)


接着链到了666以前的帖子：虽然以前就看过，但是今天还是触目惊心。

幸好还有点儿时间。

1. Eliminate unnecessary determiners and modifiers

Writers sometimes clog up their prose with one or more extra words or phrases that seem to determine narrowly or to modify the meaning of a noun but don't actually add to the meaning of the sentence. Although such words and phrases can be meaningful in the appropriate context, they are often used as "filler" and can easily be eliminated.

Wordy

Any particular type of dessert is fine with me.

Balancing the budget by Friday is an impossibility without some kind of extra help.

More Concise

Any dessert is fine with me.

Balancing the budget by Friday is impossible without extra help.

问自己一句：文章有传达信息没有。如果没有的话，那么可以尽力pass掉。

2. Change phrases into single words

Using phrases to convey meaning that could be presented in a single word contributes to wordiness. Convert phrases into single words when possible.

Wordy

The employee with ambition...

The department showing the best performance...

Jeff Converse, our chief of consulting, suggested at our last board meeting the installation of microfilm equipment in the department of data processing.

As you carefully read what you have written to improve your wording and catch small errors of spelling, punctuation, and so on, the thing to do before you do anything else is to try to see where a series of words expressing action could replace the ideas found in nouns rather than verbs.

More Concise

The ambitious employee...

The best-performing department...

At our last board meeting, Chief Consultant Jeff Converse suggested that we install microfilm equipment in the data processing department.

As you edit, first find nominalizations that you can replace with verb phrases.

Wordy

For all intents and purposes, American industrial productivity generally depends on certain factors that are really more psychological in kind than of any given technological aspect.

More Concise

American industrial productivity depends more on psychological than on technological factors.

可以一看。

前面WORDY的半句简直如同出自自己之手，这部分自己做得确实比较薄弱。而这个是语言能力的基础呀。

3. Change unnecessary that, who, and which clauses into phrases

Using a clause to convey meaning that could be presented in a phrase or even a word contributes to wordiness. Convert modifying clauses into phrases or single words when possible.

Wordy

The report, which was released recently...

All applicants who are interested in the job must...

The system that is most efficient and accurate...

More Concise

The recently released report...

All job applicants must...

The most efficient and accurate system...

为了在尽量短的打字时间里拿出尽可能多的数据量，这一点必须注意。

Wordy

It is the governor who signs or vetoes bills.

There are four rules that should be observed: ...

There was a big explosion, which shook the windows, and people ran into the street.

More Concise

The governor signs or vetoes bills.

Four rules should be observed:...

A big explosion shook the windows, and people ran into the street.

好多规则！把这里当成重点来看是正确的。因为：每一个规则，自己以前都或多或少地犯过。

尽量先将自己的语言习惯瘦身60％，再讨论接下来的事情。这个还是蛮对的。

5. Use active rather than passive verbs

See our document on active and passive voice for a more thorough explanation of this topic.

Wordy

An account was opened by Mrs. Simms.

Your figures were checked by the research department.

More Concise

Mrs. Simms opened an account.

The research department checked your figures.

6. Avoid overusing noun forms of verbs

Use verbs when possible rather than noun forms known as nominalizations. Sentences with many nominalizations usually have forms of be as the main verbs. Using the action verbs disguised in nominalizations as the main verbs--instead of forms of be--can help to create engaging rather than dull prose.

Wordy

The function of this department is the collection of accounts.

The current focus of the medical profession is disease prevention.

More Concise

This department collects accounts.

The medical profession currently focuses on disease prevention.

7. Reword unnecessary infinitive phrases

Some infinitive phrases can be converted into finite verbs or brief noun phrases. Making such changes also often results in the replacement of a be-verb with an action verb.

Wordy

The duty of a clerk is to check all incoming mail and to record it.

A shortage of tellers at our branch office on Friday and Saturday during rush hours has caused customers to become dissatisfied with service.

More Concise

A clerk checks and records all incoming mail.

A teller shortage at our branch office on Friday and Saturday during rush hours has caused customer dissatisfaction.

8. Replace circumlocutions with direct expressions

Circumlocutions are commonly used roundabout expressions that take several words to say what could be said more succinctly. We often overlook them because many such expressions are habitual figures of speech. In writing, though, they should be avoided since they add extra words without extra meaning. Of course, occasionally you may for rhetorical effect decide to use, say, an expletive construction instead of a more succinct expression. These guidelines should be taken as general recommendations, not absolute rules.

Wordy

At this/that point in time...

In accordance with your request...

More Concise

Now/then...

As you requested...

Here are some other common circumlocutions that can be compressed into just one word:

Wordy

It is possible that nothing will come of these preparations.

She has the ability to influence the outcome.

It is necessary that we take a stand on this pressing issue.

More Concise

Nothing may come of these preparations.

She can influence the outcome

We must take a stand on this pressing issue.

9. Omit words that explain the obvious or provide excessive detail

Be sure always to consider your readers as you draft and revise your writing. If you find passages that explain or describe in detail what would already be obvious to readers, delete or reword them.

Wordy

I received your inquiry yesterday. Yes, we do have...

It goes without saying that we are acquainted with your policy on filing tax returns, and we have every intention of complying with the regulations that you have mentioned.

Imagine a mental picture of someone engaged in the intellectual activity of trying to learn what the rules are for how to play the game of chess.

Baseball, one of our oldest and most popular outdoor summer sports in terms of total attendance at ball parks and viewing on television, has the kind of rhythm of play on the field that alternates between times when players passively wait with no action taking place between the pitches to the batter and then times when they explode into action as the batter hits a pitched ball to one of the players and the player fields it.

More Concise

Yes, we do have...

We intend to comply with the tax-return regulations that you have mentioned.

Imagine someone trying to learn the rules of chess.

Baseball has a rhythm that alternates between waiting and explosive action.

10. Omit repetitive wording

Watch for phrases or longer passages in your writing in which you repeat words with similar meanings. Below are some general examples of unnecessary repetition contrasted with more concise versions, followed by lists and examples of specific redundant word pairs and categories.

Wordy

I would appreciate it if you would bring to the attention of your drafting officers the administrator's dislike of long sentences and paragraphs in messages to the field and in other items drafted for her signature or approval, as well as in all correspondence, reports, and studies. Please encourage your section to keep their sentences short.

The supply manager considered the correcting typewriter an unneeded luxury.

Our branch office currently employs five tellers. These tellers do an excellent job Monday through Thursday but cannot keep up with the rush on Friday and Saturday.

More Concise

Please encourage your drafting officers to keep sentences and paragraphs in letters, reports, and studies short. Dr. Lomas, the administrator, has mentioned that reports and memos drafted for her approval recently have been wordy and thus time-consuming.

The supply manager considered the correcting typewriter a luxury.

Our branch office currently employs five tellers, who do an excellent job Monday through Thursday but cannot keep up with Friday and Saturday rush periods.

Redundant Pairs

Many pairs of words imply each other. Finish implies complete, so the phrase completely finish is redundant in most cases. So are many other pairs of words:

A related expression that's not redundant as much as it is illogical is very unique. Since unique means "one of a kind," adding modifiers of degree such as very, so, especially, somewhat, extremely, and so on is illogical. One-of-a-kind-ness has no gradations; something is either unique or it is not.

Wordy

Before the travel agent was completely able to finish explaining the various differences among all of the many very unique vacation packages his travel agency was offering, the customer changed her future plans.

More Concise

Before the travel agent finished explaining the differences among the unique vacation packages his travel agency was offering, the customer changed her plans.

Redundant Categories

Specific words imply their general categories, so we usually don't have to state both. We know that a period is a segment of time, that pink is a color, that shiny is an appearance. In each of the following phrases, the general category term can be dropped, leaving just the specific descriptive word:

Wordy

During that time period, many car buyers preferred cars that were pink in color and shiny in appearance.

The microscope revealed a group of organisms that were round in shape and peculiar in nature.

More Concise

During that period, many car buyers preferred pink, shiny cars.

The microscope revealed a group of peculiar, round organisms.

记得当时在XDF时，一个将阅读的老师附带讲了半小时的作文，大家都觉得很精彩，当时基本被小洗脑。
其中一个观点，就是把简单的词汇复杂化、精确化。换句话说，一个词变成非常漂亮的短语。如是多次，文章的长度会稍稍变长，也会显得有文采。

说得非常对。然而他所教授的，其实是语言的美化。

尤其在这种大批GRE人才培训班儿里，什么新鲜的东西，都会迅速地被UPDATE至爆旧无比。大家都把这个东西误读了，造成语言的冗赘。

解决方法很简单：练就好了。

所有的WORDY和CONCISE的句子都非常好。缺什么补什么，这部分只要熟读，找到语感，就不怕了吧。

先总结一下瘦身众多规则。

总规则：少说。句型越简单越好，说理才是文章的中心。文采虽然重要，但绝对不在于句型有多冗杂。

规则：要省去的部分其实很多：从不重要的修饰语、从句，到第九条的干干脆脆删句子，有太多东西需要注意。

养成这些东西，一在于大量的练习，二在于简洁的意识吧。

都说了不是又八UID：2728357

【关于PROOFREADING.】

原先：没有留出时间来做。抑或说，根本就没有打算做过。


而这篇文章中给我们的方法，在之前阐述语法的部分已经涉及过很多了。
不要对第二手修改寄予太多希望，而是要尽力一遍写好。

对于自己在再一次检查中必须要注意的所有要点：

1.Put most of the subjects at the beginning of your sentences. Avoid hiding your topic by opening sentences with long introductory clauses or phrases.
这是关于首段的建议。
2.在检查时，要以最高效率判断句子是否成句。一段是否舒服。

时间自己控制为宜。

都说了不是又八UID：2728357

【关于METAPHOR.】
个人属于METAPHOR狂热爱好者——辩论后遗症？或者是图像思维的后遗症？

文中非常considerate地给METAPHOR分了类，做了术语等方面的详细介绍。
前半部分可以略去——我们关心的只是如何用好M，M的好处我们已经熟知了。

后半部分则是处处漂亮：自己看许多杂志之类，都是在这上面注目的。
as verbs
The news that ignited his face snuffed out her smile.
as adjectives and adverbs
Her carnivorous pencil carved up Susan's devotion.
as prepositional phrases
The doctor inspected the rash with a vulture's eye.
as appositives or modifiers
On the sidewalk was yesterday's paper, an ink-stained sponge.


但是：全文一两个也就可以了。这个的主要作用在于调节整体文章趋势，而不是当成论据本身。


第一次作业补充结束。今天晚上拼拼第三次作业。

都说了不是又八UID：2728357

PG1：
GRE AW部分入门指导

任务一：表达你对于一个事物的观点。
任务二：分析一篇立论。

这份文件中，包括对GRE批判性写作部分的描述，包括各部分的写作策略、打分信息、分数指导、分数等级描述，还包括一份考卷范例及其评论。
PG2：目录，故直接进入第三页。
PG3：
AW写作部分概览
AW写作部分是GRE考试中心从2002年10月开始引进的考试环节，旨在考察学生的批判思维与分析式的写作技巧。考试将会着重考察考生能否清晰表达、支撑论点，能否分析一篇立论，能否写出一段中心清晰、表意连贯的讨论性文章。但该考试环节并不考察具体知识。
AW写作部分包括两个分别计时的批判性写作环节：
45分钟的“用一篇文章表达你的观点”
30分钟的“分析一篇立论”
考生将在两个ISSUE题目中进行选择。每个题目都阐述了一个具有普遍性的话题，考生可以自选角度进行写作。写作时要阐述相关的理由与例证。
在写ARGUMENT时考生只能选择一个话题。ARGUMENT写作要完成的目标与ISSUE写作的任务不同：考生需要对已有的一段立论的逻辑展开驳论。考生要表达的不只是单纯的同意与否，而是针对其逻辑严密性进行思考。
这两个目标互为补充。在ISSUE写作中，考生需要选取论点，提供论据，论证己方论点；在ARGUMENT写作中，考生则需要通过评估其主张、论证的方式来批判他人的观点。


AW写作的准备环节
即使是最为熟练、自信的作者，在进行正式考试之前也要进行充分的准备。复习一下写作技巧、评分标准、评分指导、分数等级细则、例题、范文及其评论等等，是非常重要的。
AW写作的标题涉及范围很广，艺术、人文学科、社会学科、自然科学的领域都包含在内。但是写作的题目中绝不会涉及具体学科知识。实际上，为了保证每个题目都可以从多方面阐述，所有的标题都在不同领域被测试过。具体规则如下：
·GRE考生无论学科背景与个人兴趣，都能够读懂题目，并能够很容易进入相关话题的讨论。
·考题考察的是复杂的逻辑推演能力与说服性文章的写作能力。教学从业人员认为，这种能力在本科阶段十分重要。
·文章的高下之分，一在于文章的内容，二在于文章的展开方式。

为帮助广大考生准备GRE考试的AW写作部分，GRE出题组已经将全部考题结集出版。习之必有裨益。考生可以登陆www.gre.org/pracmats.html阅览在线版本，也可联系GRE PROGRAM,PO BOX 6000, PRINCETON,NJ 09541-6000以求邮递版本。

PG 4：
AW部分考试准备策略

时间分配非常重要。在ISSUE写作的45分钟之内，考生需要有充分的时间在两个题目中做出选择，需要考虑题目，列出提纲，组织成文。在ARGUMENT写作的30分钟之内，考生则需要有充分时间分析对方立论，列出批判性的提纲，并组织成文。虽然GRE考生们都很清楚时间是多么紧迫，都会尽量一次性成文，但是考生一定还是想尽量将文章写好吧。
在考试最后要留出几分钟的检查时间。虽然无心留下的拼写错误不会影响你的分数，但是如果错误严重或是多次出现，你的文章总体水平一定会被拖累，甚至降低考分。
在接下来的AW写作部分，考生可以休息十分钟。在与其他考试环节之间，考生有一分钟的休息时间。但考生多半都会想要用这仅有的休息时间在试卷上多写几笔的。
AW部分计分规则

考生的作文都会按照整体上限六分的规则来记分。打分标准在GRE AW写作评分指导部分（27.28页）整体打分，意思是每篇文章都单独记分，但每篇文章都是作为整体来看待，一篇文章中所有的优劣点如文章主旨，句型结构，语言，都会被计入评分范围。而另一方面，评分者是根据总体印象来打分的，打分时要整体考虑综合因素的作用。比如，文章组织方式的好坏，会影响到阅卷者的整体印象，所以会对分数有所影响。但文章组织方式作为一个单独的方面，并没有影响总体细部评分规则。
总而言之，GRE阅卷者都是来自各大院校，任教于对AW写作思维比较重要的学科之中。GRE阅卷者都经过完善的训练，通过了严峻的GRE阅卷资格考试，而且证明了它们能够保持评分的准确度。
为了证明GRE阅卷的公正性
·考生答卷随机分配给阅卷人
·考生的所有个人信息完全对阅卷人保密
·每一份考生的考卷都被两个阅卷人打分
·阅卷人并不知道考生的另一份答案得了多少分
·整个评分过程需要两个阅卷人得到相同或临近的分数方能生效；如果分数差距过大，需要第三位阅卷人加以裁决。
两个环节的写作的平均分，即最终的AW写作部分的成绩。分数等级细则，会在29页给出详细描述。AW写作的首要重点是批判性思维、批判性写作技巧。
考生的AW答卷首先会被ETS论文雷同性探测软件探测，在判卷过程中也会被经验丰富的阅卷者加以评判。为了证明考生独立完成考试，当证据确凿时，ETS有权力取消雷同试卷的成绩。雷同考卷的特征，部分列举如下：
·文章在实质上与一份或多份GRE答卷相同
·文章在没有引用的情况下，表达了与已出版或未出版的学术资源相同的观点
·文章在未经印证的情况下盗用了他人的学术贡献
·文章表达的中心思想，被证实盗用了其他人的观点
当考生答卷符合以上的若干条时，考生的答卷在ETS专业评判标准下，不能表现考生的独立、真实的AW写作水平。因此，ETS必须取消考生的作文考试成绩，并且通知GRE考试中心记录之。
考生的考试成绩被取消后，其考试费用将被没收，而且考生在下次考试时必须全额支付GRE考试费用。但考试成绩被取消的记录、原因，不会出现在下一次考试的邮网各大院校的分数记录上。


翻了一个小时，键盘飙得跟同传似的……不过这个部分还挺好玩儿的哈。吃饭去……