712 第一天作业（作文）

jinwei_bearUID：2426520

Currently, the controversial issue whether it is realistic for people to expect to work at the same company or employer all of their life or not urges great attention from both public and individuals, since the complexity lies behind the case-specific fact. From personal rather than theoretical perspective, I tend to hold the idea that we shouldn't expect to work at the same company.
        The first plain truth, I single out and present here, is that working at different companies is instrumental for us to get success in their career. It will improve our communication skills and make us to know more people. If we stay at the same company all the life, we may make friends with our colleagues, but the number of our colleagues is limited. However, if we always change our job, we may get in touch with many different people. This may bring the following benefits to us. First, we could learn how to communicate with different people efficiently and effectively. Currently, communication skills are more and more important which has a significant impact on personal success. If we can't communicate with others well, we can't achieve great accomplishment. Second, if we get in touch with different people every day, we could learn various aspects from them and make ourselves more comprehensive. All of these will help us to get success in the furture.
         Furthermore, my opinion also arises out of the condideration of the fact that if we change our job, it always means the new job is much better than the former one in some aspects. We may get higher salary, more chances to get promotion, comfortable work environment and so forth. Just take my brother as an example. He used to work for the government department. In China, if you have a work position in the government department, your salary, welfare and other basic conditions are pretty good. However, my brother change his job to a private corporation for the reason that he has no opportunity to be promoted since he has worked in the department for five years.
        Despite many advantages of my opinion, it is not without its problem. If we always change our job, we may be considered as  unhonest and undependable persons. When the company sees our resumes, they may directly reject us, not because our ability is limited, but for the reason that we can't work for them for a long time. From this point of view, working at the same company enjoys its own benefits.
        Just as the English proverb goes, “each coin has two sides” those who take opposite view are partly reasonal. But with the factors I outlined, the merits of working at different companies has obviously eclipsed its flaws. Consequently, I believe it is not realistic for people to expect to work at the same company all of their life.

第一篇半小时作文，感觉写得有点偏:L





昨晚被人批了，自己又改了下~~
         Currently, people are always confronting an choice: to stay at a company for a whole life or to change the job to look for better and more
opportunities? Some people might think that stable condition is ore safe and realistic, but in my opinion we should grasp the chance to take a more
suitable job.
         Admittedly, there are some disadvantages of changing jobs. Always changing jobs makes us to be considered as unhonest and undependable persons. When
the company sees our resumes, they may directly reject us, not because our ability is limited, but for the reason that we can't work for them for a long
time. Furthermore, we may always live in a hurried life, and can't enjoy the peace and comfort.
        However, the advantages of changing jobs are more important. The first plain truth, I single out and present here, is that working at different
companies is beneficial for us to get success in our career. It will make us to know more people. If we stay at the same company all the life, we may make
good friends with our colleagues, but the number of our colleagues is limited. However, if we always change our job, we may get in touch with numerous
different people which is beneficial to improve our communication skill.Communication skill is one of the basic elements on the way to success and on no
account can we ignore it. For example, a good manager should have the ability to communicate with his clients and subordinates efficiently and effectively.
Due to a misunderstanding, the company may incur substantial, or even worse deadly losses. His communication ability will impact not only his life, but also
the lives of his workers. So a good manager should take into account every word from his mouth to avoid unnecessary losses. From this case, we could know how
important communication skill is. If we always change our job, we may have more opportunities to achieve great accomplishment and our life will be more
meaningful.
        Furthermore, my opinion also arises out of the condideration of the fact that changing job always means the new job is much better than the former
one in some aspects. Just take my brother as an example. He used to work for the government department. In China, working in a government department means
stable job position, good welfare and comfortable work environment. However, my brother change his job to a private corporation for the reason that he has no
opportunity to be promoted since he has worked in the department for five years.
         In conclusion, changing jobs offers us more opportunities to achieve our goals and thus it is really not realistic for us to expect to work at the
same company or employers all of their life.

[ 本帖最后由 jinwei_bear 于 2008-7-6 08:42 编辑 ]

tieshou_zcUID：2317200

模板不错,我抄下了,哈哈

hyacinthUID：2184492

https://bbs.gter.net/bbs/thread-854237-1-1.html

请帮你楼上的同学修改

jinwei_bearUID：2426520

已改~

hyacinthUID：2184492

你的口语交了没? :rolleyes::o;d:

lintelleUID：2297267

Currently, people are always confronting an choice: to stay at a company for a whole life or to change the job to look for better and more opportunities?陈述选择句，应当用句号。 Some people might think that stable condition is more safe and realistic（safer and more realistic）, but in my opinion we should grasp动词运用非常形象 the chance to take a more suitable job.
         Admittedly, there are some disadvantages of changing jobs. Always changing jobs makes us to be considered as unhonest and undependable persons（people）. When the company sees our resumes, they may directly reject us, not because our ability is limited, but for the reason that we can't work for them for a long time. Furthermore, we may always live in a hurried life, and can't enjoy the peace and comfort.
        However, the advantages of changing jobs are more important. The first plain truth, I single out and present here（的确是很不错的模版:) ）, is that working at different companies is beneficial for us to get success in our career. It will make us to know more people. If we stay at the same company all the life, we may make good friends with our colleagues, but the number of our colleagues is limited. However, if we always change our job, we may get in touch with numerous different people which is beneficial to improve our communication（communicational） skill.Communication skill is one of the basic elements on the way to success and on no account can we ignore it. For example, a good manager should have the ability to communicate with his clients and subordinates efficiently and effectively.
Due to a misunderstanding, the company may incur动词感情色彩把握准确 substantial, or even worse deadly losses. His communication ability will impact ＋upon not only his life, but also the lives of his workers. So a good manager should take into account every word from his mouth to avoid unnecessary losses. From this case, we could know how important communication skill is. If we always change our job, we may have more opportunities to achieve great accomplishment and our life will be more meaningful.
        Furthermore, my opinion also arises out of the condideration(consideration?) of the fact that这句模版也很不错;) changing job always means the new job is much better than the former one in some aspects. Just take my brother as an example(just us my brother or take my brother as an example. 句式重叠。 ). He used to work for the government department. In China, working in a government department means stable job position, good welfare and comfortable work environment. However, my brother change his job to a private corporation for the reason that he has no opportunity to be promoted since he has worked in the department for five years.
         In conclusion, changing jobs offers us more opportunities to achieve our goals and thus it is really not realistic for us to expect to work at the same company or employers all of their life.
总体说来非常好。相信你并不需要夸赞来证明你的语言实力，我也没这个意图。必须提一下的是你的论证结构。

一抑一扬的让步结构尽管普遍，但是使得思虑显得深远，因此是论证不可缺少的重要技巧。你的做法是先抑后扬，避免了在接近结尾时倒打自己一耙的危险，也使得行文更加自然，做的非常漂亮。

正式论证部分大部分考生都严格遵循三个论点三段式的结构，你却别开蹊径，第一段点出换工作带来的利益，第二段深入证明这个利益为人生创造的正面影响，进而加深第一段证明的力度。第三段才转换论点。一二两段是理论证明，第三段例证，行文发展张驰有度，论证手法亦多变。虽然不想在考试前让你自满，不过……真的很难得见到语言论证两者都很高明的练习作文。:rolleyes:

恩。一定要保持这个状态到考试结束。另外，很不理解。语言能力像你这么好了的人，为什么不愿意和大家交流口语呢？:rolleyes:

sky85UID：2453346

电脑出问题了, 改了三遍还是word还是出错死机了. 没办法, 我就这里说吧. 刚刚刷新发现上面元老级人物已经给了很高的评价而且提了一些建设性的意见. 鉴于很多可改之处他已经提供了, 我就在这里补充改几个小错误吧, 应该不会介意吧.
第一段:Currently, people are always confronting an choice: 很明显应该用a的吧。
第二段: When the company sees our resumes, they may directly reject us, 注意人称前后对称
文中用了两次for the reason that, 可以改为owning to, on account of + 短语, 或者because, for , since, as + 句子.

总体你的文章LS评价已经非常非常到位拉, 我的语言明显没他说出来的厉害哈. 不过还是得夸一句, 这样的水平应该能拿到5分了吧.

rebeccavenUID：2140456

我想参加口语的交流啊～～怎么交流口语联系啊？？？
:)

jinwei_bearUID：2426520

昨天家里有客人，所以不好交口语了，今天一定交哦~~
谢谢夸奖了，其实我的写作真的一般，而且写的时候我真的没考虑到这么深入:confused: 不过始终觉得三个点写不深入，所以我一直写的两个点，从对OG上四分文和三分文的对比中可以明显看出来，四分文第二段的例子其实也很简单，不过就可以获得效果，所以我觉得半小时之类抓住一点深入下去，然后再补上一点或两点是王道。个人观点哦~~
其实作文里面很多都是我背的，然后写的时候将有用的材料都整合在一起，尤其是第一段的例子，好像是185的吧，其实自己想个例子有时候觉得很肤浅，而且语言用词啊都觉得很困难，所以我现在一直在背适用的例子，都是从前人那里收集过来的啊，希望考试能有个好运气,撞上熟悉的题目

jinwei_bearUID：2426520

谢谢修改啊~~
我自己写的时候都没想这么多:(
我也被震惊了~
应该是题材比较熟悉吧

hyacinthUID：2184492

按照大帖里的作业, 录完音后发邮件去gtersummer08@gmail.com

密码随后我会PM给你 ;d: