Argument15 没吃中饭，先把作业写了！

staralwaysUID：193479

------题目------
The following appeared in a newsletter offering advice to investors.
'Over 80 percent of the respondents to a recent survey indicated a desire to reduce their intake of foods containing fats and cholesterol, and today low-fat products abound in many food stores. Since many of the food products currently marketed by Old Dairy Industries are high in fat and cholesterol, the company's sales are likely to diminish greatly and their profits will no doubt decrease. We therefore advise Old Dairy stockholders to sell their shares and other investors not to purchase stock in this company.'

------正文------
Taking accounts of a recent survey indicating a desire to reduce intake of foods rich in fats and cholesterol among respondents and the fact that many of the food products currently marketed by Old Dairy Industries are high in fat and cholesterol, the author of the argument conclude that the sales of Old Dairy Industries will diminish and thus he advises the stockholders to sell their shares. This advice, seems to be reasonable at first glance, however, suffers from several flaws.

The first flaw concerns about the reliability of the survey mentioned in the argument. The author does not provide us other critical information such as what is total number of the sample and which age phase these candidates are in. What if there are only 10 people were surveyed? No one would consider 8 people's attitude will be efficiently representative of the whole population of 100,000 in a city. In addition, if those people who were surveyed are primarily old citizens, the validity of the results of the survey is open to doubt since old people are more likely to possess those illnesses relating to heart and brain which are caused by high level of fats and cholesterol in their blood and thereby tend to eat foods containing little fats and cholesterol. Without offering us with other useful information, whether the results of the survey can be used in reach the conclusion that people would like to reduce their intake of foods containing fats and cholesterol is open to doubt.

Secondly, evening assuming that there does exist a trend of less intake of foods containing fats and cholesterol, the author unfairly to conclude that Old Dairy Industries' sales are likely to diminish greatly and their profits will no doubt decrease. The mere fact that many of the food products currently marketed by Old Dairy Industries are high in fat and cholesterol does not necessarily mean the conclusion drawn by the author. What is the actual number does the author mean by saying "many"? If 5 can be seen as many, then what if the company has another 25 products which are low in fats and cholesterol? The loss of those 5 products will probably be compensate by gains in the other 25 products due to the trend of less intake of fats and cholesterol, thus may possibly lead to increase sales and further more profits. Without providing information concerning about how is the constitution of the products of Old Dairy Industries, it is unconvincing for the author to conclude that the sales will be diminish and the company's profits will decrease.

In conclusion, the author's advice that Old Dairy stockholders should sell their shares and other investors should not to purchase stock in this company turns out to be a poor one. To strengthen the argument, the author should provide enough information concerning the reliability and validity of the survey in order to show that there do exist a desire to reduce intake of foods rich in fats and cholesterol. To better evaluate the argument, the author should offering information showing that sales of Old Dairy Industries would be decrease since many of its food products are rich in fats and cholesterol.

staralwaysUID：193479

顶一下！

向日葵的孩子UID：162587

Taking accounts of a recent survey indicating a desire to reduce intake of foods rich in fats and cholesterol among respondents and the fact that many of the food products currently marketed by Old Dairy Industries are high in fat and cholesterol, the author of the argument conclude that the sales of Old Dairy Industries will diminish and thus he advises the stockholders to sell their shares. This advice, seems to be reasonable at first glance, however, suffers from several flaws.

The first flaw concerns about the reliability of the survey mentioned in the argument. The author does not provide us other critical information such as what is total number of the sample and which age phase these candidates are in. What if there are only 10 people were surveyed[语法有问题]? No one would consider 8 people's attitude will be efficiently representative of the whole population of 100,000 in a city. In addition, if those people who were surveyed are primarily old citizens, the validity of the results of the survey is open to doubt since old people are more likely to possess those illnesses relating to heart and brain which are caused by high level of fats and cholesterol in their blood and thereby tend to eat foods containing little fats and cholesterol. Without offering us with other useful information, whether the results of the survey can be used in reach[be used to reaching] the conclusion that people would like to reduce their intake of foods containing fats and cholesterol is open to doubt.[关于survey这段，还可以批respondents仅仅是desire，不代表他们就不买这些东西吃。除非调查是说大部分人确实是不买foods containing fats and cholesterol吃，这样的survey才具有效力]

Secondly, evening[even] assuming that there does exist a trend of less intake of foods containing fats and cholesterol, the author unfairly to[去掉to] conclude that Old Dairy Industries' sales are likely to diminish greatly and their profits will no doubt decrease. The mere fact that many of the food products currently marketed by Old Dairy Industries are high in fat and cholesterol does not necessarily mean the conclusion drawn by the author. What is the actual number does the author mean by saying "many"? If 5 can be seen as many, then what if the company has another 25 products which are low in fats and cholesterol? The loss of those 5 products will probably be compensate by gains in the other 25 products due to the trend of less intake of fats and cholesterol, thus may possibly lead to increase sales and further more profits. Without providing information concerning about how is the constitution of the products of Old Dairy Industries, it is unconvincing for the author to conclude that the sales will be diminish and the company's profits will decrease.[该段用“many”做文章似乎有点单薄了，还可从profits下手说影响profit的原因很多，购买量有下降profit就下降了？]

In conclusion, the author's advice that Old Dairy stockholders should sell their shares and other investors should not to purchase stock in this company turns out to be a poor one. To strengthen the argument, the author should provide enough information concerning the reliability and validity of the survey in order to show that there do exist a desire to reduce intake of foods rich in fats and cholesterol. To better evaluate the argument, the author should offering information showing that sales of Old Dairy Industries would be decrease since many of its food products are rich in fats and cholesterol.
[开头结尾太长了。感觉批驳点抓得不够到位。关于作者的建议——卖公司股票等应予以批驳]

staralwaysUID：193479

恩，MM的意见收下了，谢谢哦~~

xin320UID：165608

Taking accounts of a recent survey indicating a desire to reduce intake of foods rich in fats and cholesterol among respondents and the fact that many of the food products currently marketed by Old Dairy Industries are high in fat and cholesterol, the author of the argument concludes/d。看到后边的advises,该用s that the sales of Old Dairy Industries will diminish and thus去掉吧？ he advises the stockholders to sell their shares.第一句太长了，为了加大难度过分加长句子有时效果不好 This advice, seems to be reasonable at first glance, however, suffers from several 最好指名具体几点flaws.一个主语跟两个谓语感觉不太顺

The first flaw concerns about the reliability of the survey mentioned in the argument. The author does not provide us other critical information such as what is total number of the samplesample size是不是更好？ and which age phase these candidates are in？. What if there are only 10 people were surveyed? No one would consider 8 people's attitude will be efficiently representative of the whole population of 100,000 in a city. In addition, if those people who were surveyed are primarily old citizens, the validity of the results of the survey is open to doubt since old people are more likely to possess those illnesses relating to heart and brain which are caused by high level of fats and cholesterol in their blood and thereby tend to eat foods containing little fats and cholesterol. Without offering us with other useful information, whether the results of the survey can be used in reaching the conclusion that people would like to reduce their intake of foods containing fats and cholesterol is open to doubt重复，换为unfounded/vague等 .可以加上一点，有will不等于action,食品有考虑taste，price, afford ,habit等因素

Secondly, evening assuming that there does exist a trend of less intake of foods containing fats and cholesterol, the author unfairly to conclude that Old Dairy Industries' sales are likely to diminish greatly and their profits will no doubt decrease. 驳斥的好The mere fact that many of the food products currently marketed by Old Dairy Industries are high in fat and cholesterol does not necessarily mean the conclusion drawn by the author. What is the actual number does the author mean by saying "many"? If 5 can be seen as many, then what if the company has another 25 products which are low in fats and cholesterol? The loss of those 5 products will probably be compensate by gains in the other 25 products due to the trend of less intake of fats and cholesterol, thus may possibly lead to increase sales and further more profits. Without providing information concerning about how is the constitution of the products of Old Dairy Industries, it is unconvincing for the author to conclude that the sales will be diminish and the company's profits will decrease.另外可以继续假设，即使销售减少，不等于profit就减少，可能revenue减少了，但是cost更低，这样profits还是很高的

In conclusion, the author's advice that Old Dairy stockholders should sell their shares and other investors should not to purchase stock in this company turns out to be a poor one. To strengthen the argument, the author should provide enough information concerning the reliability and validity of the survey in order to show that there do exist a desire to reduce intake of foods rich in fats and cholesterol. To better evaluate the argument, the author should offering information showing that sales of Old Dairy Industries would be decrease since many of its food products are rich in fats and cholesterol.感觉结尾有点长，我认为说出主要的问题和改善方法就可以了总体不错，驳斥点稍微显少了，同一个驳斥点引申有点多。由于我水平有限，不妥之处多包涵

xin320UID：165608

向日葵的孩子MM的建议居然和我很相似，真是荣幸！
补充一点关于股票的问题的确可以批驳一下，它违反了逻辑。

staralwaysUID：193479

呵呵，谢谢xin320。
是还有很多方面可以反驳，但是我打字的速度不够快，只能挑一点反驳一下了。另外，股票也的确是一个问题。