【求大家评价】我写的剑8text4的小作文

小虫1991UID：3318419

6月14号考雅思了~最近正式开始备考作文部分，尝试写了一篇小作文，是剑8text4的，麻烦大家给一些意见建议吧！非常感谢！
以下是作文：

The line graph indicates the amount of loads transported in the UK in the range of 1974 to 2002 through four kinds of transports.

From the graph it could be easily seemed that the amount of goods transported by pipeline, from around 5 million tones in 1974 to over 20 million tones in around 1994, enjoyed a go up trend. However, the amount remained stable after 1994, keeping a number about 20 million tones.

As for the volume of goods transported by rail, it fluctuated in the time period of 1974 an 2002, with the total account ranged from 20 to 40 million tones.

The water transport mode contributed more than 40 million tones of goods’ transport since around 1978. There were two sharply increase periods for the quantities, constituting the period from 1978 to 1982 and the era between 1998 and 2002.

It is obviously that the major of goods were transported on road. Though experienced a slight fluctuation, the quantities of goods transported by road saw an ascending trend during 1974 an 2002, with the largest amount reached to nearly 100 million tones in 2002.

In UK, road transport was the most commonly used way, whileas the pipeline transportation was the least used one.

小虫1991UID：3318419

能告诉我大约几分的样子吗？还有重点要提高哪方面的技巧呢？谢谢！

LiuLiangXuan1UID：3284134

6  我觉得还不错的, 我得像你学习~  我是大作文不错小作差,  汗

小虫1991UID：3318419

3# LiuLiangXuan1

谢谢~亲觉得我有哪些需要提高的啊？

LiuLiangXuan1UID：3284134

有部份写的词汇不对，不合适, 如constituting, increased period 搭配不对  最后一段amount后面要加东西,可加of figures