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[i习作temp] 冬涧苦雪的作业贴——Issue习作 [复制链接]

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发表于 2012-8-11 11:13:36 |只看该作者
Good job!
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发表于 2012-8-11 11:14:15 |只看该作者
:)我又看了一遍,确实如此。亲你的第二段已经阐明是就着论述重要性和不能分割潜在问题跟眼前问题来看问题写的,抱歉我有点主观了:$

然后发现了个问题,即在分析要关注将来问题时,你的第一个分论点主要想说,将来问题很重要。如果着眼于将来问题,那么可以更合理有效的分配资源,同时大众也可以根据政府的安排作出调整,并且监督政府。
而第二个分论点,所举例子是因为没有做好对未来问题的规划,由于后来产生的环境问题,化工厂不得不搬走。从而损失更多资金。这个论点和上面那个不觉得有部分重复了么,一个是在说,如果对将来问题打算了,可以更好分配资源,公众可以根据政策来做相应调整。另一个分论点例子在说,如果不对将来问题打算了,那么会有环境问题,场要搬走,还要花更多资金解决这个问题。感觉其实是在对同一个论点做正反面举例论述。
尽管类似的例子如果分析侧重点不同,那么支持的观点可能也不同。但是亲你的化工厂的例子后面分析不是很详细,没有区分出侧重点,因此两段有重复的感觉

个人意见哈:$

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发表于 2012-8-11 16:15:52 |只看该作者
问号200080 发表于 2012-8-11 11:14
我又看了一遍,确实如此。亲你的第二段已经阐明是就着论述重要性和不能分割潜在问题跟眼前问题来看问题写 ...

嗯,确实如此欸·····例子乏了,论述的力度也不够,Thank you!!!:p

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发表于 2012-8-11 16:27:31 |只看该作者
tsaoyu991 发表于 2012-8-11 11:13
Good job!

moland,谢谢你噢,改得很务实,问号也提到了我论述分析不够有力、段与段不够明确逻辑,有观点重复问题出现,我会在这方面多下功夫的,加油!晚一些把你的修改发过去

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发表于 2012-8-11 19:46:06 |只看该作者
8月11日

提纲:

(+)科学本身的性质要求研究的自由。曾经政治影响带来的恶果。

(-)科学家的强烈好奇心和探索热情会有时会超出道德底线、理性范畴。(克隆人)

科学带来的正负后果需要政府裁夺。(转基因食品)

(-)政府责任,保证纳税人权益,要对科学限制。

The recommendation insofar has its reason, but it isn't full of the truth. We don't doubt the significance of science's freedom, but we are suspicious of whether all scientists can guarantee the morality of science experiments without governments' restriction. And we are also not sure they can balance the advantage and the disadvantage of a seemingly promising technology project.

Admittedly, freedom, due to the nature of science, is essential for science's development. As we all know, science pursues profound understanding of the unknown world, so uncertain factors in surveying process is very massive, from its original goal, experiment method, implemented principle, as well as the result. We cannot imagine how slow science's progress will be if every change in projects must be reported to government, with highly restriction on science. Therefore, overly strict restriction to science is far from wise.

Furthermore, through ideology, government may have negative effect on science development.In the history records of the Second World War, governments around the world almost stoped any other science programs except on weapons' inventment and improvement, just to meet the demand of  triumph. As a result, not only normal science advancing was interrupted, but atomic bombthe destructive tool, was invented and used on our earth. That is to say, government restriction sometimes will disguide the route of science's development.

However, even though undue or misleading restrictions may be harmful to science’s healthy development, it doesn't mean that science will develop fast and rightly as long as there isn’t governments’ interruptions. To the opposite, advisable government restrictions to science are indispensable.

On the one hand, in the survey process, scientists cannot balance the bottom line of the moral and intense expectation of big progress in science, even, the underlying line will be transcended. Take, for example, the scientists who are enthusiastic about the technology of cloning. From clone sheep Doly, to recently clone monkey, cow, and even human's cell in 2009 of America, technology of cloning is progressing on and on, leaving the possibility of the clone human. Without government's restriction, some scientist with the overwhelming desire will outstrip morality, with huge possibility. But how can the real person, whom to be cloned, live normally as before? What should the cloning person to be dealed with? Without a legal identity, how can ‘it’ survive in the world, and maybe ‘it’ would have emotion as well. That is destructive to human's rights, even threatening the normal order of human's world. So, governments, with clear ration respecting mass’ voice, should prevent such event from happening. That’s a timing mathod to control some scientists’ overly absurd desiration.

On the other hand, most science fund is from the government budget, while, as known, budget is full of taxes from mass. Then, as the originator of budget, government has the right and obligation to guarantee science program advanc in a direction beneficial to the mass. In many circumstances, besides beneficial results, science program may lead some bad ones, like the genetic manipulation. Even though this technology will help increase productivity, it also will guide the damage of biodiversity and the balance of environment. At this time full of controversial, government should shoulder the responsibility to deal with, with people's benefit as the superior principle.

Therefore, in the process of science development, government restriction should neither be vacant nor overly strict. The best degree of it will decided according to the mass' permanent profits.

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荣誉版主 AW小组活动奖 AW作文修改奖

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发表于 2012-8-12 13:58:59 |只看该作者
写得真好,有很多值得学习的地方!
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IF YOU WANT SOMETHING, THE WHOLE UNIVERSE CONSPIRE TO HELP YOU ACHIEVE IT!
Ecology, plant science or Biochemistry, which one point to my future?

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发表于 2012-8-12 20:28:54 |只看该作者
xiesisiminerva 发表于 2012-8-12 13:58
写得真好,有很多值得学习的地方!

谢谢Sisi:)

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发表于 2012-8-12 23:34:20 |只看该作者
抱歉上传晚了~~
学得好好,主要是受教了~~楼主限时了吗?我一限时就没思路了~~
我也写了~求批改~
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发表于 2012-8-13 00:19:26 |只看该作者
jelly0429 发表于 2012-8-12 23:34
抱歉上传晚了~~
学得好好,主要是受教了~~楼主限时了吗?我一限时就没思路了~~
我也写了~求批改~

哎···要是限时的我就high了,这篇写了四十五分钟:L

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发表于 2012-8-13 08:43:02 |只看该作者

8.13
今天这篇刚好以前写过,就直接发上来了~~
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发表于 2012-8-14 17:25:54 |只看该作者
8.14
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发表于 2012-8-14 22:11:10 |只看该作者
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苦逼GRE!!!

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发表于 2012-8-14 22:57:38 |只看该作者
huluhulufei 发表于 2012-8-14 22:11

Thank you very much:loveliness:改得好仔细,我会好好吸收的~
语言关确实还要好好过~~!

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发表于 2012-8-15 00:04:23 |只看该作者
抱歉,上来晚了,加晚班的人伤不起,每天都要占座~

亲,不得不说你的issue实在是太强大了,说理无敌了,权当范文拜读了~~

你看看我的吧,求死拍, 实在是对自己的东西咋看咋不满意,你要是觉得哪里别扭就直接说出来,木有关系,我就想知道问题出在哪里,不然死都不瞑目!谢了~~~
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发表于 2012-8-15 04:57:36 |只看该作者
楼主加油我用wps改的。如果看不了批注。请找我!
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RE: 冬涧苦雪的作业贴——Issue习作 [修改]
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