argument145 限时失败again....砍啦砍啦砍啦啊～～～～～

victoriazhizhiUID：163135

145. A new study collected data that shows that people who snore are more likely to gain weight than are people who do not snore. It is well known that many people who snore also stop breathing frequently during the night for a few seconds, a condition called sleep apnea. The interruption of breathing wakes the person—often so briefly that the waking goes unnoticed—and can leave the person too tired during the day to exercise. Anyone who snores, therefore, should try to eat less than the average person and to exercise more.

In this argument, the author claims that people who snore should eat less and take more exercise than average people in that their interruption of breathing makes them tired to do exercise during the day. However, this argument is not cogent because first it is based on a unconvincing study and then it is full of logical drawbacks during its reasoning.

First and foremost, this argument relies on a recent study, which does not provide us detailed information about the number of respondents, whether the sample is representative enough and whether the study is full of academic authority and so forth. It might be the case that this study is accomplished by some gymnasiums and used for advertising. It is also possible that most people who participate in the study are fat snorers, who will undoubtedly lead to the result that people who snore are likely to gain weight. To strengthen the reliability of the study, the author needs to provide us more detailed information about the study.

Even if the result of study could be accepted, the reasoning is also weakened by some logical flaws. The threshold problem is that the author draws a cause-and-effect relationship between the interruption of breathing of snoring persons and the lack of exercise of those people, which is not necessarily the case. There is no evidence proving that people who snores are tired by the interruption of breathing have little energy to do exercise during daytime. As the author claims, the interruption is so waking to be noticed, it might be the case that people are enjoying a good sleep during the night and are still vigorous in the daytime. Or it is possible that although people are tired in the day, they are still willing to do exercise in order to keep healthy. Without evidence to substantiate these assumptions, the author cannot conclude that it is the interruption of breathing disturbs snoring people and leave them tired to do exercise during the day.

Finally, suppose that people who snore are lack of exercise, it is ridiculous to assert that in order to lose weight, snoring people should eat less that the average person. Failing to see other factors which could result in fat, the author merely attributes the reasons causing people's fat to the lack of exercise and overmuch eating. However, no evidence has been proved that these snoring people are eating more than ordinary people. Even if they are having are overmuch diet, it might be unhealthy to demand a small quantity of food of them, which might cause other diseases. Unless the author rules out such explanations for these assumptions, he/she could not convince me that eating less and doing exercise more could help those snorers lose weight.

In conclusion, the argument is not persuasive. To bolster it, the author must provide more detailed information of the study and clear evidence about the activities and daily life of people who snore.

又要去上课也～～～～～～～
大家砍呀砍呀砍，晚上回来互改 :p

lianglcl05UID：181629

In this argument, the author claims that people who snore should eat less and take more exercise than average people in that their interruption of breathing makes them tired to do exercise during the day. 前面肯定一下，然后在转折，不然这个however就有些突然了However, this argument is not cogent because first it is based on a anunconvincing study and then it is full of logical drawbacks during its reasoning.it is based on an unconvicing study and full of logical drawbacks

First and foremost, this argument relies on a recent study, which does not provide us detailed information about the number of respondents, whether the sample is representative enough and whether the study is full of academic authority and so forth. It might be the case that this study is accomplished by some gymnasiums and used for advertising. It is also possible that most people who participate in the study are fat snorers, who will undoubtedly lead to the result that people who snore are likely to gain weight. To strengthen the reliability of the study, the author needs to provide us more detailed information about the study.既然指出了3种缺陷，最好有3个对应，好像你少了一个。另外，我认为可以分开一个一个说，这样感觉有些堆砌。范文有个牙膏的，我觉得在这方面做的不错。

Even if the result of study could be accepted, the reasoning is also weakened by some logical flaws.some logical flaws是不是太空泛了？而且放在段首，感觉要改一改 The threshold problem is that the author draws a cause-and-effect relationship between the interruption of breathing of snoring persons and the lack of exercise of those people, which is not necessarily the case. There is no evidence proving that people who snores are tired by the interruption of breathing have little energy to do exercise during daytime. As the author claims, the interruption is so waking to be noticed, it might be the case that people are enjoying a good sleep during the night and are still vigorous in the daytime.论证不足，他说是，你说不是，然后你要说为什么不是。不如在这里说，他们睡的时间长了，所以也就不累了。如果，这里算是无据攻击的话，我觉得不如攻击他的前提，说明他的well known没有根据和前提。 Or it is possible that although people are tired in the day, they are still willing to do exercise in order to keep healthy. Without evidence to substantiate these assumptions, the author cannot conclude that it is the interruption of breathing disturbs snoring people and leave them tired to do exercise during the day.

Finally, suppose that people who snore are lack of exercise, it is ridiculous to assert that in order to lose weight, snoring people should eat less that the average person. Failing to see other factors which could result in fat, the author merely attributes the reasons causing people's fat to the lack of exercise and overmuch eating. However, no evidence has been proved that these snoring people are eating more than ordinary people. Even if they are having are overmuch diet, it might be unhealthy to demand a small quantity of food of forthem, which might cause other diseases. Unless the author rules out such explanations for these assumptions, he/she could not convince me that eating less and doing exercise more could help those snorers lose weight.感觉这一段好像没有什么东西。在结尾提到such explanation，但是，前面，没怎么看见有什么alternatives.

In conclusion, the argument is not persuasive. To bolster it, the author must provide more detailed information of the study and clear evidence about the activities and daily lifelives of people who snore.
我个人感觉，写阿狗主要抓住他的逻辑主线进行攻击，这样比较有效而且结构也好把握。另外，就是抓住主要错误进行猛批。至于无据攻击，我认为一篇文章顶多用一次，其实，感觉更多的时候，他都是考虑的不周全，或者有其他的原因，这样写起来更有发挥的余地。至于文章里的话，没有必要重复这么多，一方面太赘，另外，还要打字，废时间。我打字太慢，没办法。
我的一点拙见，可能不对。另外，你的字数是够了，现在，我好像都写不出这么多。呵呵。

龙非UID：193190

占个座

boyjimUID：125249

sit~

龙非UID：193190

In this argument, the author claims that people who snore should eat less and take more exercise than average people in that their interruption of breathing makes them tired to do exercise during the day. However, this argument is not cogent because first it is based on a unconvincing study and then it is full of logical drawbacks during its reasoning.个人感觉对题目的分析就不大妥了，题目可没有说eat less是因为interruption of breathing哦。题目我的理解是两个推论，一、研究显示打鼾的人容易胖，所以要吃少一点；二、因为interruption ofbreathing会导致累，从而会少运动，所以要多运动。那么这种题很好破，首先抓住研究就可以写一大堆了，研究是怎么进行的，参加研究的人是怎么选择的，是不是本身就属于容易胖的那种？研究的人数有多少，够不够普遍，如果只有一、两个人那就算了等等。个人建议，看到study，convey，experiment之类的东东这些都是可以套上去的。其次针对两个推论展开。其一，即使是打鼾的人容易胖是正确的，那么容易胖就要吃少一点没道理，有的人不管吃多少都是胖。其二、interruption是个大问题，没有证据表明interruption会容易累，那么短暂的中断，可能根本就没影响。还有即使累不见得就不运动等等。

First and foremost, this argument relies on a recent study, which does not provide us detailed information about the number of respondents, whether the sample is representative enough and whether the study is full of academic authority and so forth. It might be the case that this study is accomplished by some gymnasiums and used for advertising. It is also possible that most people who participate in the study are fat snorers, who will undoubtedly lead to the result that people who snore are likely to gain weight. To strengthen the reliability of the study, the author needs to provide us more detailed information about the study.

Even if the result of study could be accepted, the reasoning is also weakened by some logical flaws. The threshold problem is that the author draws a cause-and-effect relationship between the interruption of breathing of snoring persons and the lack of exercise of those people, which is not necessarily the case. There is no evidence proving that people who snores are tired by the interruption of breathing have little energy to do exercise during daytime. As the author claims, the interruption is so waking to be noticed没明白？？？, it might be the case that people are enjoying a good sleep during the night and are still vigorous in the daytime. Or it is possible that although people are tired in the day, they are still willing to do exercise in order to keep healthy. Without evidence to substantiate these assumptions, the author cannot conclude that it is the interruption of breathing disturbs snoring people and leave them tired to do exercise during the day.

Finally, suppose that people who snore are lack of exercise这句是废话，跟下面关联不大，所以让步说即使这样没有意义, it is ridiculous to assert that in order to lose weight, snoring people should eat less that the average person. Failing to see other factors which could result in fat, the author merely attributes the reasons causing people's fat to the lack of exercise and overmuch eating. However, no evidence has been proved that these snoring people are eating more than ordinary people. Even if they are having are overmuch diet, it might be unhealthy to demand a small quantity of food of them, which might cause other diseases. Unless the author rules out such explanations for these assumptions, he/she could not convince me that eating less and doing exercise more could help those snorers lose weight.

In conclusion, the argument is not persuasive. To bolster it, the author must provide more detailed information of the study and clear evidence about the activities and daily life of people who snore.
整体来说还可以，个人觉得4没问题，5要看运气，6就不大可能。几个问题，一、从开头看对题目的因果关系没有把握的很好。二、文章的段落之间衔接还不是很流畅，读起来没有一气呵成的感觉。三、B3和B1其实是论证差不多的问题，就是study的结果不可信，B2已经让步了说即使study结果没问题，那也就说你已经接受了这个观点：打鼾与胖有必然联系，那么在B3再谈胖可能是别的原因已经没意义了。可以合到B1中

boyjimUID：125249

In this argument, the author claims that people who snore should eat less and take more exercise than average people in that their interruption of breathing makes them tired to do exercise during the day. However, this argument is not cogent because first it is based on a unconvincing study and then it is full of logical drawbacks during its reasoning. [ok~ short enough~开头最好能设计一个然人耳目一新的魔板~能够吸引人~但又不至于很长~]

First and foremost, this argument relies on a recent study, which does not provide us detailed information about the number of respondents, whether the sample is representative enough and whether the study is full of academic authority and so forth. It might be the case that this study is accomplished by some gymnasiums and used for advertising. It is also possible that most people who participate in the study are fat snorers, who will undoubtedly lead to the result that people who snore are likely to gain weight. To strengthen the reliability of the study, the author needs to provide us more detailed information about the study. [假如你是没有时间的话~这最后的一句话可以不用写~然后到最后有时间才加上去都可以]

Even if the result of study could be accepted, the reasoning is also weakened by some logical flaws. The threshold problem [前面的调查已经是problem啦~] is that the author draws a cause-and-effect relationship between the interruption of breathing of snoring persons and the lack of exercise of those people, which is not necessarily the case. There is no evidence proving that people who snores are tired by the interruption of breathing have little energy to do exercise during daytime. As the author claims, the interruption is so waking to be noticed, [ it might be the case that people are enjoying a good sleep during the night and are still vigorous in the daytime. Or it is possible that although people are tired in the day, they are still willing to do exercise in order to keep healthy.] [我的感觉就是最主要的就是有颜色的分析~啊狗贵精不贵多] Without evidence to substantiate these assumptions, the author cannot conclude that it is the interruption of breathing disturbs snoring people and leave them tired to do exercise during the day.

Finally, suppose that people who snore are lack of exercise, it is ridiculous to assert that in order to lose weight, snoring people should eat less that the average person. Failing to see other factors which could result in fat, the author merely attributes the reasons causing people's fat to the lack of exercise and overmuch eating. However, no evidence has been proved that these snoring people are eating more than ordinary people. Even if they are having are overmuch diet, it might be unhealthy to demand a small quantity of food of them, which might cause other diseases. Unless the author rules out such explanations for these assumptions, he/she could not convince me that eating less and doing exercise more could help those snorers lose weight.

In conclusion, the argument is not persuasive. To bolster it, the author must provide more detailed information of the study and clear evidence about the activities and daily life of people who snore. [结尾最好设计一个有别于别人的魔板]

victoriazhizhiUID：163135

刚下课
谢谢楼上三位的热心批改，认真看了看
由于在上午和下午上课之间回宿舍写的，有些着急，又加上想限时来着，诶，总之回头再看，自己也觉得迷迷糊糊的。
开头是最后写上去的，一开始写的那个被我唾弃了

still不知道什么样的开头算是新颖又有明确观点的，，，，，，仍然在各种尝试中

吃饭，打水，写一休。。。。。。。。。

再次谢过各位朋友。

BTW，jim的头像是自己么？挺帅呀！

boyjimUID：125249

一年以前在厕所对着镜子照D~~:D