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diaomanmomo
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电梯直达

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发表于 2012-10-15 21:57:49 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

10月28日考试。机经题目。
Question： Do you agree or disagree with the following statement: Patience is usually not a good strategy. We should take action now rather than later

Patience, as far as I am concerned, has always been one of the most fundamental qualities people should have. Although nowadays, everything is changing so fast that one seems to have to struggle to catch the pace of society, when it comes to make significant decisions, being patient is a still the key factor to succeed.

It is hard to imagine how can we make the best choice without carefully digging, thinking or even discussing. Excellent preparation makes a good start, especially for something complicated, which require us to go through every details, to assume every possibility and consequence, to find out all the internal relationships or even do some experiments or tests. If we miss some steps and rush into some decisions, the results could be really uncertain, or even dangerous sometimes. I can think of many examples. In the company where I am currently working, which mainly provides internet on-line products, we design our new products and push them to users. Once, a new draft of a new product is done, and all of us wish nothing but put this product into market as soon as possible in order to attract new users, and of course, to increase our income. Therefore, we made the decision too quickly, and approximately two weeks later, the new product is on-line. However, it turned out that it had a fatal technical flaw and also lacked a detail busssiness plan, thus leading to a total disater. It is not to say that we should take a very long time to prepare and think everything over, however, having the patience to finish what has do been done is absolutely necessary because if you do not, there is just not enough time to get well prepared.

In addition, patience is a good character since being patient to other people could be both nice and beneficial for all of us. There is no doubt that parents should be patient to their children, teachers should be patient to their students and the supervisors should be patient to the beginners. Because learning is process we all have to go through and there is no shortcuts neither. During my internship, my supervisor was very patient to me. It simply took time for me to study from the beginning, to practise on my own, so my progress was slow at first and I always kept asking many questions. Fortunately, my supervisor, who is an excellent person, had always been patient and nice to offer help, although it was partly his responsibity as well. Thanks to his patience, I got the precious opportunity to grow and become a strong member in the team.

Admittedly, sometimes we do have to make very fast decisions because time does not wait and we can not afford missing the fleeting opportuntities. However, that is not to say we should make decisions in a hurry without carefully thinking. The ideal results have never from those rough ideas. Instead, they come from best preparation as well as excellent implementation.

Somethings patience could be the most powerful weapon. In the fast changing society today, I believe something called patiences is always needed, since it ensures our success and makes us better persons.

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秋雨荆州
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沙发

发表于 2012-10-15 23:06:44 |只看该作者

加油~可以看看写作互改组或者ro老师的作文修改铺~

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mpromanus
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板凳

发表于 2012-10-28 03:56:31 |只看该作者

这位童鞋很不好意思，这几天碰上了大雪于是学校一度各种断电缺网导致我没法及时发出你的修改。。希望没有太耽误你的考试哈~你的作文没有什么需要担心的所以请放心大胆去考试哈~谢谢理解~鞠躬~

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement: Patience is usually not a good strategy. We should take action now rather than later.

Patience, as far as I am concerned, has always been one of the most fundamental qualities people should have. Although nowadays, everything is changing so fast that one seems to have to struggle to catch the pace of the society, when it comes to making significant decisions, being patient is a still the key factor to succeed.

It is hard to imagine how can we ('how we can'. This clause is not a question so you keep to the normal subject-verb order.) make the best choice without carefully digging ('digging' is a rather figurative use here and is rather vague. I would suggest 'investigating', not because it's a longer word, but because it's more directly relevant to the context.), thinking or even discussing. Excellent preparation makes a good start, especially for something complicated, which requires us to go through every details, to assume every possibility and consequence, to find out all the internal relationships or even do some experiments or tests. If we miss some steps and rush into some decisions, the results could be really uncertain, or even dangerous sometimes. I can think of many examples. In the company where I am currently working, which mainly provides internet on-line products, we design our new products and push ('push' implies forcefulness. In the context of IT/software companies, the word is to 'release' products.) them to users. Once, a new draft of a new product is done, and all of us wish nothing but to put this product into market as soon as possible in order to attract new users, and of course, to increase our income. Therefore, we made the decision too quickly, and approximately two weeks later, the new product is on-line. However, it turned out that it had a fatal technical flaw and also lacked a detail busssiness plan, thus leading to a total disaster. It is not to say that we should take a very long time to prepare and think everything over, however, having the patience to finish what has to be done is absolutely necessary because if you do not, there is just not enough time to get well prepared (I don't quite see why this is the conclusion to be drawn from 'not having the patience to finish what has to be done'. Perhaps because you didn't specify what there is to 'get well prepared' for.).

In addition, patience is a good characteristic since being patient to other people could be both nice and beneficial for all of us. There is no doubt that parents should be patient to their children, teachers should be patient to their students and the supervisors should be patient to the beginners. Because learning is a process we all have to go through and there is no shortcuts neither (I don't see why you should use 'neither' here. 'neither'/'either' goes with a second negation: 'This is not my book, that neither/is not my book either', but the first part of this sentence is not an negation, so it's not necessary to use 'neither'/'either'.). During my internship, my supervisor was very patient to me. It simply took time for me to study from the beginning, to practise on my own, so my progress was slow at first and I always kept asking many questions. Fortunately, my supervisor, who is an excellent person, had always been patient and nice to offer help, although it was partly his responsibility as well. Thanks to his patience, I got the precious opportunity to grow and become a strong member in the team.(Good example and argument. Would be excellent if your example can address the 'take action now rather than later' part of the question, e.g. 'if my supervisor has made the hasty decision to sack me just because I was a slow starter, he would have lost a potential team member' – the question is about patience, yes, but there's a 2nd part to it about taking immediate action, so if you can make your example and analysis cover both parts of the question, please do.)

Admittedly, sometimes we do have to make very fast decisions because time does not wait and we cannot (The negation of 'can' is 'cannot', one word. 'can not' as two words mean something completely different.) afford missing the fleeting opportunetities. However, that is not to say we should make decisions in a hurry without carefully thinking. The ideal results have never been from those rough ideas. Instead, they come from best preparation as well as excellent implementation.

Somethings (Do you mean 'sometimes'?) patience could be the most powerful weapon.(Didn't see any discussion of this in your essay. A conclusion paragraph should not raise new points that you have not discussed before. Just summarize and emphasize your point again – you don't even need very extensive rephrasing as far as TOEFL's concerned.) In the fast changing society today, I believe something called patiences is always needed, since it ensures our success and makes us better persons.

总结：

总体水平很好，没有大问题。请注意长句里的单复和第三人称单数这类容易写着写着就忘记的语法点，还有拼字。另外cannot是一个词，不是两个词。

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