- 最后登录
- 2011-7-3
- 在线时间
- 161 小时
- 寄托币
- 246
- 声望
- 1
- 注册时间
- 2010-7-26
- 阅读权限
- 15
- 帖子
- 0
- 精华
- 0
- 积分
- 235
- UID
- 2863434
- 声望
- 1
- 寄托币
- 246
- 注册时间
- 2010-7-26
- 精华
- 0
- 帖子
- 0
|
8月21日交$ q% p% c3 h8 B& Y* S+ i
(09.01.17 NA )Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Advertising is the most important cause of unhealthy eating habits
With the development of modern society, an increasing number of people have formed many unhealthy eating habits, such as preferring to the instant food and eating in irregular way. Meantime advertising has been considered as the most important cause of these bad habits. As for me, there are other reasons which contribute more to this fact.
To begin with, the quick pace of modern society plays an essential role in people’s unhealthy eating habits. Nowadays, the pace of people’s life has become faster and faster. One may fall behind even if he rests for a while. Therefore, one who wants to succeed must sacrifice other time to keep pace with others, such as eating time. That’s why the instant food is so popular in these years. The instant food can help people to shorten the time used for meals. As a result, unhealthy habits have been developed by these instant foods(我知道你想表达的,但这样说显然不合适,考虑改成:these instant foods contribute to the development of bad eating habits).
Besides, most of the time, people’s bad eating habits are formed by themselves. They don’t have self-controllers. Otherwise, even if there are many temptations on the TV or newspaper advertisings, they also can refuse them, concerning about his own health. For example, it’s reported that a man always keeps eating even though he is too fat to move himself. When he is interviewed, he just says he can control himself. Obviously, he knows the result of being stuffed. So only when people can control themselves and put their physical fitness ahead of anything would they quit these improper eating habits..
However, it must be admitted that advertising undoubtedly has some important effects on people’s eating habits. It keeps telling people how delicious these junk foods are. To many people, it’s really attracting.
From what have been discussed above, it’s safe to conclude that advertising is an important factor that influences these unhealthy habits, but not the most essential. There are other reasons also exerting tremendous impacts on improper eating habits of modern people.
写的挺好的,句子通顺,一些词汇用的也很好,建议可以考虑在多用一些长句,例如第三段里面……
倒数第二段略显突兀..段尾可以考虑多写一二句来点题,说明Ad在某些方面或者对某些人的确影响了他们的饮食习惯……前面都挺好的,为什么最后一段前面来了个模板..既然前面都是自己的风格,就将这种风格进行到底啊,别搞模板了..自己照应下主题或者升华一下论点,没问题的...
PS:本人水平有限..如有不对的地方恳请指正...共同进步 :) |
|