[作文] 【独立写作】sarah666作业贴 [复制链接]

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发表于 2013-10-27 09:02:57 |只看该作者

mimimomo666 发表于 2013-10-27 06:04
改好了

thanks for your straightforward suggestions. After your revise I carefully listened the material again and found some missing score points, which I have found in your wring though. Thanks again.

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发表于 2013-10-27 20:46:48 |只看该作者

已改

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发表于 2013-10-27 20:56:09 |只看该作者

楼主这两天我在准备文书很抱歉给你改晚了附件是1024你的作文修改
记得去帮我修改哦https://bbs.gter.net/forum.php?mo ... xtra=#pid1777662872

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发表于 2013-10-27 22:31:51 |只看该作者

newswener 发表于 2013-10-27 20:56
楼主这两天我在准备文书很抱歉给你改晚了附件是1024你的作文修改
记得去帮我修改哦https://bbs.gter.net ...

Thanks for your suggestion. As for the rhetorical questions in my composition, I think your advice is very to-the-point. But I believe three juxtaposed questions can be used in one paragraph due to the strong feeling they create. They had better not appear twice , like me, in two paragraphs. Do you mean this? On the other hand, I learned from you that the subjunctive mood should not be used more than once the first time. I will take it into account. Hope you do an excellent job in your exam too.

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发表于 2013-10-27 22:41:49 |只看该作者

lsy0123 发表于 2013-10-27 20:46
已改

Thanks for your warmhearted suggestions. They prove to be very useful for making progress. Hope you we can be teammates again.

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发表于 2013-10-28 00:21:15 |只看该作者

done

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23楼

发表于 2013-10-28 21:26:13 |只看该作者

已改, 写得很好. https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1658065-1-1.html
楼主哪里觉得我的意见不对一定要给个反馈啊, 因为我的错误意见代表我的漏洞, 你提出来也是弥补我的漏洞了. 谢谢

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发表于 2013-10-28 23:36:31 |只看该作者

lzl124631x 发表于 2013-10-28 21:26
已改, 写得很好. https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1658065-1-1.html
楼主哪里觉得我的意见不对一定要给个反馈啊 ...

Thank you so much for your detailed and helpful revise. I accept almost all of your advice according to the comment notes. As for the feedbacks, 1) "once" is indeed an adv, which equals "on one occasion" or "once upon a time" instead of "as soon as"; 2)i.e. is just the synonym for e.g. 3) the weak logic you mentioned is modified into this one "I can barely image if the test score becomes the only evaluation standard, how could these study machines apply what they have learned into practice flexibly" , I changed the subjects; it seems more natural. Thanks again.

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25楼

发表于 2013-10-29 09:03:01 |只看该作者

本帖最后由 mimimomo666 于 2013-10-29 09:04 编辑

好了，语言很棒啊~

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发表于 2013-10-29 10:39:55 |只看该作者

本帖最后由 lzl124631x 于 2013-10-29 16:45 编辑

sarah666 发表于 2013-10-28 23:36
Thank you so much for your detailed and helpful revise. I accept almost all of your advice accord ...

Thanks a lot for your response. 1) gotcha, you wanna express "once a time" or "at some definite time in the past", but maybe only using "once" will lead to some ambiguity. Maybe in this situation, putting "once" near the verb or the link verb is better, i.e. "We once centered on a famous case nationwide and ...". Or just use "once a time" to reduce the ambiguity. 2) i.e. = id est = namely = that is; e.g. = exempli gratia = for example. I think there is a slight difference between "namely" and "for example". "RGB, namely red, green and blue". When "namely" is used, I think it's better to list all the possible cases. In contrast, when using "e.g." or "for example", you may only list part of all those cases. e.g. "colors, e.g. red, green and blue and so forth". Note that you used "and the like", if I were you I prefer "e.g.". 3) Nice interpolation.
Above are just my personal opinions:)

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发表于 2013-10-29 10:46:13 |只看该作者

sarah666 发表于 2013-10-28 23:36
Thank you so much for your detailed and helpful revise. I accept almost all of your advice accord ...

oops, haven't received your revise of my "10.27" yet. Would you mind...

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28楼

发表于 2013-10-29 14:43:39 |只看该作者

10.28作业还没传哈？那我晚上在看看

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发表于 2013-10-29 14:59:26 |只看该作者

本帖最后由 sarah666 于 2013-10-29 15:00 编辑

lzl124631x 发表于 2013-10-29 10:39
Thanks a lot for your response. 1) gotcha, you wanna express "once a time" or "at some definite ti ...

wow, I was so moved by your response. I think you are right. When I was searching the website for "i.e." and "e.g.", I got this one, http://theoatmeal.com/comics/ie It is a vivid comic to introduce how to use i.e. . Thanks.