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[作文] 【Daily Writing作文特训小组】Monitor2011作文贴 [复制链接]

Monitor2011
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电梯直达

楼主

发表于 2011-7-2 15:47:15 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

自我激励，共同进步

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这次木有退路了！

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Monitor2011
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沙发

发表于 2011-7-2 15:47:42 |只看该作者

本帖最后由 Monitor2011 于 2011-7-2 17:11 编辑

7.2 The government should spend more money on education of very young children than the education of universities

History is filled with the examples that education is the wisest investment of the governments.  The education could increase the qualities of its people and make the country more powerful.  Contrary to the opinion of many people to spend more money on education of universities is my heartfelt agreement that to invest more on elementary education has far more advantages.

First, because most elementary education organizations are no-profit and the government is the main supporter, there should be more money spend on education of young children than universities.  It is the considerable responsibility of the government to increase the qualities of the whole people.  So, the more persons could gain from the investment, the government should spend more money.  Obviously, the education of very children is the first choice.  Also, considering some children cannot go to school because of poor financial conditions, the government should spend more money to help every young child go to school.

Another significant point I claim to invest more on elementary education is that the universities have other sponsors, rather than the government.  According my experience, my university has a couple of fellowships from IBM, which could support 10 students to finish their 4 year college studying.  Also, my university gets the donations from the alumnus last year, which could afford to build our new library.

When we consider the government invest more on the education of young children, isn't it necessary we give some attention to the assets that government spend money on the education of universities?  For example, the government supports a research on the greenhouse effect in the Nanjing University, which helps raise experts to solve the environment problems.  Also, many universities are found by the government, such as University of Technology and Science of China and Sichuan University.

In conclusion, numerous merits though to invest on the university education leads to are, they cannot compete with the benefits to spend more money on the elementary education, especially when the government is the main financial resource of the education of young children and the universities could get donation from other sponsors are taken into account.  In my opinion, it is responsibility of the government to spend on the education to raise the national quality.  And to spend as much money as possible on the elementary education is the best way to achieve it.

这次木有退路了！

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xiangtuo
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板凳

发表于 2011-7-3 15:20:02 |只看该作者

有问题欢迎指正！

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豆包要去纽约！

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冰雪蜂鸟
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地板

发表于 2011-7-4 00:38:54 |只看该作者

History is filled with the examples that education is the wisest investment of the governments.  The education could increase the qualities of its people and make the country more powerful.  Contrary to the opinion of many people to spend more money on education of universities is my heartfelt agreement that to invest more on elementary education has far more advantages.

First, because most elementary education organizations are no-profit(non-profit) and the government is the main supporter, there should be more money spend on education of young children than universities.  It is the considerable responsibility of the government to increase the qualities of the whole people(不是whole people，是entire group of people).  So, the more persons could gain from the investment, the government should spend more money.  Obviously, the education of very children is the first choice.  Also, considering some children cannot go to school because of poor financial conditions, the government should spend more money to help every young child go to school.

Another significant point I claim to invest more on elementary education is that the universities have other sponsors, rather than the government.  According my experience, my university has a couple of fellowships from IBM, which could support 10 students to finish their 4 year college studying.  Also, my university gets the donations from the alumnus last year, which could afford to build our new library.

When we consider the government invest more on the education of young children, isn't it necessary we give some attention to the assets that government spend money on the education of universities?  For example, the government supports a research on the greenhouse effect in the Nanjing University, which helps raise experts to solve the environment problems.  Also, many universities are found by the government, such as University of Technology and Science of China and Sichuan University. 反问句非常好！

In conclusion, numerous merits though to invest on the university education leads to are, they cannot compete with the benefits to spend more money on the elementary education, especially when the government is the main financial resource of the education of young children and the universities could get donation from other sponsors are taken into account.  In my opinion, it is responsibility of the government to spend on the education to raise the national quality.  And to spend as much money as possible on the elementary education is the best way to achieve it.
最后一段是否有点长了？
特别不好意思，今天时间特别紧，没有来得及仔细看每个句子。明天有时间我再来编辑。

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Monitor2011
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5楼

发表于 2011-7-4 23:14:53 |只看该作者

本帖最后由 Monitor2011 于 2011-7-4 23:16 编辑

History is filled with the examples that the education is the wisest investment of the governments.  The education could raise the qualities of its people and make the country more powerful.  Contrary to the opinion of many people to spend more money on the education of universities is my heartfelt agreement with the idea that to invest more on the elementary education has far more advantages.
第一段开头写了点背景，最后一句点题
First, most of the elementary education organizations are non-profit.  As the most considerable financial resource, the government should spend more money to support the education of young children.  Reports I have read of lead me to conclude that most of people would like to vote for the president who claims to spend more money on the education of very young children for it could benefit more people.  Also, many professors from the universities agree with that the government invest more on the elementary education than the higher education could cultivate better applicants for the universities, which benefits the universities too.

Another significant point I claim to invest more on elementary education is that the universities have other sponsors, rather than the government.  According my experience, my university has a couple of fellowships from IBM, which could support 10 students to finish their 4 year college studying.  Also, my university gets the donations from the alumnus last year, which could afford to build our new library.

When we consider the government invest more on the education of young children, isn't it necessary we give some attention to the assets that government spend money on the education of universities?  For example, the government supports a research on the greenhouse effect in the Nanjing University, which helps raise experts to solve the environment problems.  Also, many universities are found by the government, such as University of Technology and Science of China and Sichuan University.
中间三段论述，2,3段支撑观点（初级教育出了政府没地方拿钱，大学教育不用政府拿钱，所以政府应该多花钱在初级教育上）。4段简述政府给大学钱还是有好处的。用的是典型的2+1-的论述方式。
In conclusion, numerous merits though to invest on the university education leads to are, they cannot compete with the benefits to spend more money on the elementary education, especially when the government is the main financial resource of the education of young children and the universities could get donation from other sponsors are taken into account.  In my opinion, it is responsibility of the government to spend on the education to raise the national quality.  And to spend as much money as possible on the elementary education is the best way to achieve it.
最后一段总结全文，并跟第一段的内容呼应。

第一次感觉论述的时候思维还比较混乱，今天好好理一理。大家一起来讨论讨论。

这次木有退路了！

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