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[作文] 求打分求修改！ [复制链接]

偷睡眠者
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电梯直达

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发表于 2012-3-21 17:08:48 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

It is not uncommon idea that the government should invest in public libraries, while some citizens hold the view that the high-tech mass media has already replaced books as well as libraries. Actually, it is hard to define which opinion is correct or not.

Not surprisingly, allocating the financial budget to build rural libraries is beneficial for local residents’ basic education, as libraries not only create an academic atmosphere for people to learn but also provide enjoyable places to people who want to read. Besides, libraries are symbols of culture. It is not unrealistic to build more libraries for the sake of cultural heritage, and in other word, informative libraries can help people to extend their horizons and acquire more and more knowledge. Books provided by libraries are environmentally friendly without doubt. Citizens can reuse various kinds of books and magazines over and over again which refers to an economical way to earn new things.

However，human being can get to know new events in tons of diverse ways, such as the TV programs, the Internet and radio, etc. To some extent, the print media is not so essential as the past, thereby gaining the up-to-the-minute news via Internet at home and their offices is much more convenient. Also, building libraries in every town is quite money-consuming and time-wasting.

As for me, I guess that libraries are essential, but there is no need that the government should contribute to build libraries in every city because it not impossible that people can get the information they really want to know in another approach. The government can also contribute to create museums, theatres, cinemas and the like.

Some people think that government should pay for public libraries in every town, while some people think it is a waste of money because the public can access information from Internet. Discuss both view and give your own opinion.

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人人都說對的事、人人都在做的事，不一定就是對的。

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bqiana
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沙发

发表于 2012-3-21 20:29:31 |只看该作者

5.5

Reaching soul
As time pass
Hearing voice
On the magic cross
Creating interface
Through finger touch
Searching peace
In cyber space
Hunch is stylish
Above superficies
Life is synchronous
In between balance
It is for you …

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偷睡眠者
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板凳

发表于 2012-3-21 22:37:46 |只看该作者

请问是文章逻辑的问题么？大侠能否给点提高建议? 2# bqiana

人人都說對的事、人人都在做的事，不一定就是對的。

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angelvan2011
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地板

发表于 2012-3-24 19:06:43 |只看该作者

It is notuncommon idea that the government should invest in public libraries, while somecitizens hold the view that the high-tech mass media has already replaced booksas well as libraries. Actually, it is hard to define which opinion is corrector not.
Not surprisingly, allocating the financial budgetto build rural libraries is beneficial for local residents’ basic education(1), aslibraries not only create an academic atmosphere for people to learn but alsoprovide enjoyable places to people who want to read.（第一个观点，内容太少了，不知道写什么可以对比或举例。对比可以说那些没有图书馆的郊县人民空闲时间都用来娱乐了。举例可以说对于郊县，一个图书馆可以使他们更容易借阅到农业或工业的科技类书籍） Besides, libraries aresymbols of culture（2）. It is not unrealistic to build more libraries for the sakeof cultural heritage(2), and in other word, informative libraries can help peopleto extend their horizons and acquire more and more knowledge. Books provided bylibraries are environmentally friendly without doubt.（这句话是啥意思？图书馆的书籍无疑是环境友好的？同时也没支持你的观点，扩大视野或获取更多知识。这也不对啊，前一句你的观点是有利于文化传承） Citizens can reusevarious kinds(a wide range) of books and magazines over and over again (repeatedly, 这里和前面有语意重复吧) , which(which前加逗号) refers to aneconomical way to earn new things. (这里有逻辑错误吧，换成中文因果关系语意都不通)

However，human being can get to know new events in tons ofdiverse ways, such as the TV programs, the Internet and radio(单数，前面必须要有the 或 a，要么就用复数), etc. To someextent, the print media is not so essential as the past, thereby gaining theup-to-the-minute news via the Internet at home and their offices is much moreconvenient. Also, building libraries in every town is quite money-consuming andtime-wasting.(句型非常单一啊，doing something is ...，可以试试it is so/very/quite/much adj that ...)
As for me, I guess that libraries are essential,but there is no need that the government should contribute to build librariesin every city, because it is not impossible that people can get the informationthey really want to know in another approach. The government can alsocontribute to create museums, theatres, cinemas and the like.

5-5.5，楼主参考

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