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[同主题temp] issue11 我根据那第二个提纲写了一篇,大家看行不行,imong哥和hatty姐也帮我看看 [复制链接]

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发表于 2004-9-2 14:14:19 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
11"All nations should help support the development of a global university designed to engage students in the process of solving the world's most persistent social problems."

Outline:
1.analyse the origin of the persistent social problems(it is the increasing gap between developed countries and developing countries and the inherent difference of cultures that course those persistent problems)
2.a global university can not decrease and eliminate the factors that cause the problems,though it has some merits
3.it is also unpractical for all nations to participate in supporting such a university.




The twenties' century saw tremendous changes to our human beings at many aspects. On agriculture, high technology was used to promote the productivity of farming and save a large amount of people who were in the danger of hunger; on industry, various electronic appliances are invented and applied to our daily life. Technology advancements solve many problems and indeed improve our quality of life.  However, some problems continue to bother our humans when we has stepped in to new century, such as pollution, depletion of resources, race conflict, terrorism and so forth. Thus, some people argue that, in order to address these world's most persistent social problems, all nations should participate in supporting the development of a global university.

As the advocates believe, in such global university students are educated and specialized with those continuing problems and after they graduate they can play an important role in the process of solving them. Is it really so? In my view,to judge whether such a university is necessary and effective, we should first turn to examine the factors that cause those persistent social problems.

Having a closer examination of these problems, we can find that it is the increasing gap between developed countries and developing countries and the inherent difference of cultures that course those persistent problems. Why people never stop polluting the environment and exhausting the limited resources while they have noticed the serious environmental problems and the depletion of resources? While developed countries call on reducing pollution, they gradually move their industries to developing countries; while they advocate restricting the explore of resources, they have to demand a large amount of gas, petroleum,coal,etc.to maintain the high level of everyday consumption. The developing countries, in order to keep pace with the development of the global economy or compensate the exchequer of the country, would rather ameliorate their economy condition at the expense of depleting resources and polluting environment. Similarly,why race conflicts always occur in the world, like between Israel and Palestine, while people have realized that peace is the foundation of the development of society. It is the inherent difference of culture formed in history that leads to the ceaseless conflicts. In sum, to address these social problems, we should try to eliminate or reduce the effects of these factors, such as  the gap between developed and developing countries and the difference of culture.

Turning back to the global university, is it really conducive to solve these continuing problems? As a matter of fact, although it have some merits, a global university is not effective to help addressing these problems.  A global university provides an environment for students from different countries to communicate with each other, which can facilitates the mutual understanding and enable students to share the unique ideas of other cultures. However, limited by the number of members, only mutual understanding among these students is far not enough to reduce the inherent difference of cultures. Many Israel' and Palestine' students study in the same university in Europe and North America, but the race conflicts continue. Moreover, the gap between developed countries and developing countries will not be mitigated because these students equipped with special knowledge may not take essential position in governments. Whether the ideas are adopted and the graduates are employed in governments is determined by the policy of each country. In addition, with regard to the complexity of the issue about those problems which have bother humans many years, it is difficult for professors to teach students how to solve them properly. These issues should be left to those diplomats, leaders and economists--not to professors and students in university.

It is not only less effective but impractical to require all nations to participate in building and supporting such a university. Many poor countries are more likely to spend the money and resources on feeding their hungry people and building public facilities rather than support a global university. If only a few developed countries support and are in charge of this university, they will be more concerned with those issues that have the direct influence on themselves and neglect those bothering other countries altogether. In that case, a global university defeats its goals and can not be called "global" any more.  Even if such a university is built and supported by all nations, controversy will arise when it comes to decide which issue to be the most urgent problems and how to allocate the resources of university. Different countries have different views, and they may all insist that the issues which influence themselves are more pressing and should be solved first. Therefore, such a university will cause new problems before it really solve any one.

In sum, building a global university is not an effective and practical way to solve the persistent problems in this world. It will be a waste of money to require all nations to join in this program. Although it has some merits, a global university will achieve little and disappoint its advocates.
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沙发
发表于 2004-9-2 14:42:08 |只看该作者
写的很好啊,楼主, 我也是即将要考的人,看到你的文章,再看自己的,诶。。。
我也写国这篇,有两个论点和你一样,另一个是支持了建立一所国际大学的优点

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板凳
发表于 2004-9-2 14:57:06 |只看该作者
我是13号考,希望时间还来得及,大家一起努力啊

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地板
发表于 2004-9-2 16:57:54 |只看该作者
自己顶一下

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发表于 2004-9-2 20:37:25 |只看该作者
我意识到自己法帖格式错了,可是怎么才改得回来呢?急问版主

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发表于 2004-9-2 23:33:36 |只看该作者

不错

很好啊,不贴原文了,没有什么语法错误,800多字吓人啊.不知楼主有没有限时,if so 我只有汗颜了:)
请指教
https://bbs.gter.net/bbs/showthread.php?s=&threadid=219175
我的目标:永不止步!

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发表于 2004-9-3 00:05:09 |只看该作者
我已经给你看了一下楼上,你去看看吧

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发表于 2004-9-3 15:52:36 |只看该作者
顶一下

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发表于 2004-9-3 22:53:53 |只看该作者
The twenties' century saw tremendous changes to our human beings at many aspects. On agriculture, high technology was used to promote the productivity of farming and save a large amount of people who were in the danger of hunger; on industry, various electronic appliances are invented and applied to our daily life. Technology advancements solve many problems and indeed improve our quality of life. However, some problems continue to bother our humans when we has stepped in to new century, such as pollution, depletion of resources, race conflict, terrorism and so forth. Thus, some people argue that, in order to address these world's most persistent social problems, all nations should participate in supporting the development of a global university.  

As the advocates believe, in such global university students are educated and specialized with those continuing problems and after they graduate they can play an important role in the process of solving them. Is it really so? In my view,to judge whether such a university is necessary and effective, we should first turn to examine the factors that cause those persistent social problems.

Having a closer examination of these problems, we can find that it is the increasing gap between developed countries and developing countries and the inherent difference of cultures that course those persistent problems. Why people never stop polluting the environment and exhausting the limited resources while they have noticed the serious environmental problems and the depletion of resources? While developed countries call on reducing pollution, they gradually move their industries to developing countries; while they advocate restricting the explore of resources, they have to demand a large amount of gas, petroleum,coal,etc.to maintain the high level of everyday consumption. The developing countries, in order to keep pace with the development of the global economy or compensate the exchequer of the country, would rather ameliorate their economy condition at the expense of depleting resources and polluting environment. Similarly,

why race conflicts always occur in the world,
这句用always occur似乎不太好,感觉,不过这个例子我觉得是这个问题的经典,我也用过

like between Israel and Palestine, while people have realized that peace is the foundation of the development of society. It is the inherent difference of culture formed in history that leads to the ceaseless conflicts. In sum, to address these social problems, we should try to eliminate or reduce the effects of these factors, such as the gap between developed and developing countries and the difference of culture.

Turning back to the global university, is it really conducive to solve these continuing problems? As a matter of fact, although it have some merits, a global university is not effective to help addressing these problems. A global university provides an environment for students from different countries to communicate with each other,
这个理由佷对。我认为global univ的一个重要作用是增进理解,交流技术,以消除文化之间的不理解和冲突,以及促进经济发展的平衡

which can facilitates the mutual understanding and enable students to share the unique ideas of other cultures. However, limited by the number of members, only mutual understanding among these students is far not enough to reduce the inherent difference of cultures. Many Israel' and Palestine' students study in the same university in Europe and North America, but the race conflicts continue.
所以global uni才是需要的,因为在这里应该有更多的课程是文化方面的,这是欧洲和美国的大学无法做到的啊

Moreover, the gap between developed countries and developing countries will not be mitigated because these students equipped with special knowledge may not take essential position in governments. Whether the ideas are adopted and the graduates are employed in governments is determined by the policy of each country. In addition, with regard to the complexity of the issue about those problems which have bother humans many years, it is difficult for professors to teach students how to solve them properly. These issues should be left to those diplomats, leaders and economists--not to professors and students in university.
这个理由似乎不太对,因为students是未来的leaders, economists

It is not only less effective but impractical to require all nations to participate in building and supporting such a university. Many poor countries are more likely to spend the money and resources on feeding their hungry people and building public facilities rather than support a global university. If only a few developed countries support and are in charge of this university, they will be more concerned with those issues that have the direct influence on themselves and neglect those bothering other countries altogether. In that case, a global university defeats its goals and can not be called "global" any more. Even if such a university is built and supported by all nations, controversy will arise when it comes to decide which issue to be the most urgent problems and how to allocate the resources of university. Different countries have different views, and they may all insist that the issues which influence themselves are more pressing and should be solved first. Therefore, such a university will cause new problems before it really solve any one.
我觉得由于题目没有涉及这个大学的具体解构,所以这里说impratical没有什么意义,相反,提出如何让它更为pratical,更effient的方案其实更好。例如全球的合作需要developed countries在经济上更多支持,但是developing countries要和developed有一样的参与权利。

如果要说这种global uni的缺陷,我觉得有一个缺陷是由于各国国情不同,虽然交流很重要,但是如果不能避免硬套他国经验,效率就很低。有些国家的经验对于其他国家的情况可能没有借鉴价值。所以不能把一切希望寄托在global uni上面。

In sum, building a global university is not an effective and practical way to solve the persistent problems in this world. It will be a waste of money to require all nations to join in this program. Although it has some merits, a global university will achieve little and disappoint its advocates.


====================================

措辞很好,我不能比...羡慕中。也佷通顺,没有注意到很明显的语法错误。
Linux rules OS world.

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发表于 2004-9-4 01:04:15 |只看该作者
所以global uni才是需要的,因为在这里应该有更多的课程是文化方面的,这是欧洲和美国的大学无法做到的啊

我前面说了由于人数的限制,一所大学每年能毕业多少人,虽然增进了文化的交流,但对国家整体的相互了解帮助甚小;每年那么多美国人来中国旅游,可在大多数美国人心中仍然以为中国很穷很落后

我主要是说明有效性的问题,纵然有一定的好处,但帮助大不大呢,究竟值不值得呢?

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发表于 2004-9-4 09:21:14 |只看该作者
undersea, 你限时了吗?如果是的,你也太牲口了吧,800多字。
这篇我也写了,观点和你差不多,我都不敢贴了,艾。
大鹏一日同风起,
扶摇直上几万里.

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发表于 2004-9-4 10:04:18 |只看该作者
整篇写得很通顺而且很流畅,就是感觉结构分配有点不太好(个人意见):第一段纯粹是介绍背景,完全可以将他移动到论述全球大学的必要性方面,(可以指出尽管有这些问题,但全球大学不一定能解决),第三段还是在介绍全球面临的种种问题,(目的含糊,到底是有没有必要建立大学,400字已经有了,)第四段“Many Israel' and Palestine' students study in the same university in Europe and North America, but the race conflicts continue”并不等同于全球大学,而且他的目的也不是解决全球问题,提出这一点对论述主题没有大的说服力!第五段指出全球大学需要资金,但许多国家还没有解决温饱(实际上我想你是想说明这个方案的不具有现实的可行性) 总体来看,语言方面实在功力强,在下汗颜。。。,结构反面我想应该从他的是否存在的必要性论述一下,但文章中缺少这个,虽然提出存在许多问题,只是简单提了一下通过“diplomats, leaders and economists”来解决,并没有提出全球大学的没有必要性,反而给人一种感觉是,全球大学非常必要,而且势在必行!!
我的一点看法,希望参考!!

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发表于 2004-9-4 11:30:39 |只看该作者
我自己也觉得第一段好像多了点,但我个人比较喜欢的开篇方法是从介绍一个broad background然后narrow down一个具体的topic,这样不知道会不会觉得罗嗦

我第二段也说了要弄清这个问题必须先分析造成这些问题的原因,所以第三段应该是有目的性的吧

第四段想说明global university不能有效解决问题,但我自己也觉得还没有把问题说清楚,至少不是那么有力,我想应着重强调由于国情不同,很难找到行之有效的方法;文化差异不是靠一所大学能解决的;经济差距只能靠国家政策调整来缩小。

第五段我想指出建这样的大学,尤其又要所有国家参与,是不可行的。而且究竟先研究哪些问题,资源如何分配,是很难调和的

很感谢genxin_zhang和aaaty的意见哦

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发表于 2004-9-4 12:41:14 |只看该作者
我觉得后两段的关系挺好的,先说效果,再说可行性,有个递进。
两个建议:一个是讲效果不好的那段里,最后的In addiditon那句,感觉说服力不太强,毕竟大学还有个研究的功能,不仅仅是教授teach学生。
二是关于开头,不知道楼主是不是能在45分之内写这么多,因为对于常人确实有点难度,还是不建议开头写太多,以免大头小身子的感觉,个人感觉issue这种小篇幅的文章,上来给出观点就挺好的。

上面一位同学说最好提出改进方案,我个人不是很同意,好像离题有点远,就算要写,也应该先写完问题所在,再写改进,那篇幅就太大了

一点建议:)
小小的梦想
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想要展翅高飞的冲动
你可否明白

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发表于 2004-9-4 13:12:34 |只看该作者
楼上说的很对啊,考虑到时间,还是简洁一点好,毕竟body的逻辑才是最重要的

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RE: issue11 我根据那第二个提纲写了一篇,大家看行不行,imong哥和hatty姐也帮我看看 [修改]
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issue11 我根据那第二个提纲写了一篇,大家看行不行,imong哥和hatty姐也帮我看看
https://bbs.gter.net/thread-219084-1-1.html
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