[i习作temp] Issue105 Politics 用否定观点另写一篇 [复制链接]

fhxywei
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楼主

发表于 2004-11-11 11:46:24 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

还是严重超时，70多分钟
Issue105 Politics

-----题目------
The true strength of a country is best demonstrated by the willingness of its government to tolerate challenges from it's own citizens.

The statement contends that the true strength of a country is best demonstrated by the willingness of its government to tolerate challenges from its own citizens. I believe, however, that just tolerating the challenges is far away from the purpose to build a country's true strength. Aside from tolerating its own citizen's challenges, actually a country's true strength should include several other aspects such as coping with crises, fighting back the intruding enemies and so on.

Admittedly, a government that can tolerate its own citizens' challenges by respecting and accepting the ideas of public is a democratic one that contributes this country's strength a lot. Seen from human beings history, those tyrannical governments that suppressed their own citizens were transient and falsely strong. Because if the public's idea and freedom were confined and limited by its government, the conflicts would mushroom in society, and then the country would be overturned by its raging citizens. Too many examples can be held here, we just take one of the most famous dynast in China for instance. The Qin dynast that united China with its strong military power suppressed its citizens so ruthlessly even to the extent that no steel tools should be held in common people's families except for its army in fear of its citizen's rebellion. However, this policy was of no use as the government was soon overturned by a throng of impoverished peasants who were taxed and suppressed in an outrageous way by the government. Rather, a democratic government such as America who had set a sophisticated democratic system can respect and assimilate its citizens' ideas and discontent in an effective way, by which a lot of crises and some potential hazardous problem from its citizens, which may undermine its domination are eliminated naturally. Thus, a democratic government that can bear its citizens does show its great advantages.

However, tolerating the challenges from its own citizens is far away from purpose of building a true strength of a country. A country's true strength should be defined in many aspects including its conditions of economy, politic and religion and so on. We can't call a country which is suffering from severe starvation a strong country that show true strength, although its government show great willingness to tolerate challenges from its own citizens. What's more, a government that can tolerate the challenges from its own citizens but can't handle challenges such as a crisis or turmoil from public is a vulnerable and hazardous one. Rather, A true strong country should have great ability to handle those sudden challenges. For example, when faced terrorists' attack from its own country, instead of tolerating them, a strong government is able to take effective action to control the situation quickly. Therefore, a country of true strength should be the one that can solve various kinds of tough problems whenever it confronts.

Furthermore, aside from dealing with the interior challenges from its own citizens, the true strength of a country should be demonstrated by its government's capacity of overcoming the exterior challenges from other countries. However capable and strong a country is when it handles domestic affairs from its own citizens, it is also a frail one if it can be overturned and conquered easily by intruding enemies from other countries. In other words, a country of great strength should be determinate and impregnable when faced other country's aggression. For example, during World War Two, the Britain government led by the great politician Churchill defeated Nazi Germany's outrageous raid from time to time. The Britain government convinced the people all over the world that its country is a strong one of true strength in this obvious and undisputed way.

Consequently, due to the analysis and reasons mentioned above, it is necessary to reflect further that what is a country's true strength on earth. Actually, it is unwise to cast all our stakes to the one side that just tolerating the challenges from a country's own citizens. We should take many other key factors into account to build a country's true strength.

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xiaohe
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沙发

发表于 2004-11-11 23:57:14 |只看该作者

applause

文理清晰，论据有力。这个原本好像有点棘手的题目被你破解得如此自然，令人佩服。

但对于第二部分的论述我提点自己的看法：
However, tolerating the challenges from its own citizens is far away from purpose of building a true strength of a country. A country's true strength should be defined in many aspects including its conditions of economy, politic and religion and so on.
这是你的主题句。但我觉得challenges from its own citizens有可能来自economy, politic and religion and so on，即两者不是互相对立或互为排斥相关。
tolerating the challenges from its own citizens的对立面有两个：
1. 不仅是tolerate,还应take action, or prevent
2. 不仅是from its own citizens,还应from out of country.
你第三部分就说的是抵御外来．第二部分举的例子也是说要防止饥荒发生，积极应对恐怖主义行径，但主题句与此不完全一致．

以上看法也是从你的文章受到的启示，不知是否正确理解了你的文章意图，仅供参考和商榷．

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fhxywei
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板凳

发表于 2004-11-12 10:31:38 |只看该作者

very谢谢批改!!!

xiaohe每次的批改都是这么一针尖血，很受启发！
那个地方可能改成这样比较好：However, tolerating the challenges from its own citizens is far away from the purpose of building a true strength of a country. A country's true strength should be defined in many aspects including its capacity of handling different domestic problems of politic, economy, religion and so on.

对了，什么时候你有大作也让我拜读一下？一起加油啊：）

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