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iamgaoyang
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电梯直达

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发表于 2004-12-16 21:09:01 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

题目：in Britain,the senior citizen live with other people favored by special nurses. Sometimes the government has to pay the cost.
提纲：1.government should do from two aspects
2.family should do
3.society –media should do

who should be responsible for aged people. The speaker asserts that sometimes governments has to pay the cost . with him do I share in common in a sense,however,I think others should also take into account like family,society etc.
One reason I agree with the speaker is that government has sufficient funds and faultless social welfare system. No other organizations could collect enough money and set up a special department to deal with the problem the aged people faced. To illustrate this statement clearly ,we can see an example that some aged people have to be taken good care of by special nurses in a convalescent hospital because of their poor health. It needs a lot of money and a capacious space to set up a sanatorium . no one has the capacity and authority to do it except the government because of two aspects: firstly, average people has too little money redundant from daily life to afford; further , although some one has enough money, he has not the authority to do it without the government’ agreement .
Another reason why I support the speaker is that government took the profits from the people who devoted themselves to the whole society in their past time. For example ,the soldier , who had nothing to do but fight ,did their best to help the country avoid assaulting from the enemy. Some of them, who took part in the army in their early ages, get old and have not enough skill to survive without the help of the government. Though they are feeble and useless now, government should not lay aside their problem, but draw them out of the poor condition through effect ways. Because nothing in the country , even the nation itself, could exist without their former contribution. So the government has strong obligation to look well after the old people who dedicated themselves to the society.
It is true to believe that government is able to help aged people ,but the effects of the family are not to be overlooked. Family can provide other things ,which government never renders, to help the old people not only in the material life. When people get old , they will feel lonely and sullen , to assuage this emotion , even to take them pleasure , could their children have ways for knowing the parents’ penchant and need which may be ignored by government. From this we may say mental therapy plays an important role in tending aged people .
Additionly it is the responsibility of the society which can arouse public concern through it’s special way-media. People who see the problem the aged people faced from the reports on the TV or newspaper can come to solve it with their proficient skills and broad knowledge. here is an example that one old people who was moribund with leukaemia disease had been driven out of the door by his malicious son . when it was reported ,all kind people would condemn the son’s deed and some of them could spend money to help the old to find a sanatorium to pass the rest of his life. People will know that solving the problem of the old people is no sooner one’s responsibility but the obligation of the society as a whole through the propaganda of the media . thus not to overshadow the effects of the media.
In summer , from what has been discussed above we may finally draw the conclusion that face the problem of the old people is deficient only though one method. We need the money of the government, well concern of the family and the publication of the media. It is through the cooperation of the three above can gain a better way to help the aged people.

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iamgaoyang
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沙发

发表于 2004-12-16 21:15:00 |只看该作者

我把开头和结尾都改了,每个分论点展开了论述
大家是否觉得我用词汇太贫乏了?请大家再看看有哪些不足?
小弟谢谢先!

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Dendis
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板凳

发表于 2004-12-17 15:07:29 |只看该作者

很抱歉,请首先注意一下你的发贴格式,每一段可以分开空行,这样会比较清晰一点.

每句首字母请大写,governments has 这种错误以后希望不要再犯,粗略看了第1段,略微提些意见,刚开始练习的时候写完贴到word后看看是否有问题,一定要自己多多修改,这样你也会有提高,好的英语文章同样是改出来的,继续+U吧!

If I'm who I am because I'm who I am and you're who you are because you are who you are, then I'm who I am and you're who you are.

If,on the other hand, I'm who I am because you're who you are, and if you are who you are because I'm who I am, then I'm not who I am and you're not who you are.

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