[a习作temp] Argument160 机经题，感觉这篇不太好写，哪位进来看看，谢谢！ [复制链接]

figogo
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楼主

发表于 2005-3-5 15:43:25 |只看该作者

Argument160 机经题，感觉这篇不太好写，哪位进来看看，谢谢！

Argument160
------题目------
As people grow older, an enzyme known as PEP increasingly breaks down the neuropeptide chemicals involved in learning and memory. But now, researchers have found compounds that prevent PEP from breaking neuropeptides apart. In tests, these compounds almost completely restored lost memory in rats. The use of these compounds should be extended to students who have poor memory and difficulty in concentrating—and therefore serious problems in school performance. Science finally has a solution for problems neither parents nor teachers could solve.
------正文------
Based solely upon the information provided above, the arguer should not make the recommendation to use certain compounds on students with poor memory and concentration to improve their performance. Actually, the evidences stated in the argument should be carefully examined in several other facets.

First, whether the PEP breaks down the chemicals during one's childhood is not disclosed. Although it is mentioned in the passage that PEP impedes the memory when people grow older, we are told nothing about PEP's influence on the young people. It may be the case that PEP increases as people age, so the amount of PEP is much lower in the children's bodies than that in adults'. For that matter, PEP may have no significant effects on children’s learning. Therefore, there is completely not need for students to inhibit PEP by using some compounds.

Second, the compounds that restored memory in rats will not necessarily carry the same result in humans. As we know, there are a host of differences between the rats and human, such as the structure of the brains and the mechanism of memory. Thus it is unreasonable to believe that PEP will achieve the similar result in a entirely different environment. Even if the compounds function in human body in the same way as they do in the rats, they may not be able to restore all the human's memory, since the capacity of the rat's brain is much smaller than that of human's.

Third, the assumption that the poor performance of some students is mainly due to their poor memory and concentration is quite open to doubt. The arguer provides no evidence that students who usually cause serious problems in school are not good at memory. Perhaps they simply have no interests in the study or the teachers do not guide them in a proper ways. After all, it is the attitude of learning, not the ability to memorize facts, that probably determines the result of study. Besides, the fact that they have difficulty in concentrating has nothing to do with their memories, thus do not lend support to the use of the compound.

In sum, the evidences given by the arguer is flawed as discussed above. Before extending the compounds to the students, the arguer should make thorough investigation regarding PEP and the certain compounds and confirm that problems of some students are a result of lacking memory.

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chinhoi
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沙发

发表于 2005-3-5 16:38:33 |只看该作者

我感觉写得很不错！
主要的逻辑错误都反驳了，而且比较有力
至少能说服我
而且语言很好啊
向你学习～

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lunatic
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板凳

发表于 2005-3-5 20:05:00 |只看该作者

总的来说写得还是不错的，应该是5分的档次了，只是个别的地方还需要斟酌一二
下面这个让步句有点问题，你的意思是即使这种化合物可以起作用，但人跟鼠脑容量不同所以未必能回复人类所有记忆。问题一：文章没有说要恢复人类全部记忆；问题二：文中没说要用同样的剂量，对人类的剂量大一些的话，效果就不一定如你所说了。所以我觉得从脑容量这个角度说不太有说服力
Even if the compounds function in human body in the same way as they do in the rats, they may not be able to restore all the human's memory, since the capacity of the rat's brain is much smaller than that of human's.
语法问题，thus 后面那个主语不能省略，thus是副词，此处省略主语毫无道理
Besides, the fact that they have difficulty in concentrating has nothing to do with their memories, thus （it does）do not lend support to the use of the compound.

题目中没有提及the poor performance of student, 用这个词有点危险

Nothing is important but love.
5T and 6G

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