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向日葵的孩子
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电梯直达

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发表于 2005-3-19 18:00:08 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

The following appeared in the editorial section of a local newspaper.
'The librarians in our town's school system have reported that the number of trips that our students make to their school library on a voluntary basis has decreased significantly in recent years. For example, the average seventh-grade student visited the school library five times last year, but four of those visits were part of required classroom activities. This shows that our students are reading less than in the past. To address this problem, our town needs to improve the atmosphere of the libraries so that they will be comfortable places in which to work. If students view the libraries as uncomfortable, then they are unlikely to want to spend much time there.'

The recommendation endorsed in this argument is that their town needs to improve the atmosphere of the libraries to make students be comfortable and want to spend much time there. The reason cited is that students are reading less than in the past by quoting a report from town's school system. This argument, however, defies simple logic and suffers from several critical fallacies.

First of all, the conclusion of students' decreasing reading time is based on a biased survey the sample of which is only seventh-grade student. Put is simply, students in seventh-grade can not typify all the students in the schools. Possibly, students in that grade have much less exams or homework than the higher grade students, therefore they do not have to frequent the school libraries. Or perhaps seventh-grade students in that town are required collectively to take a social activity such as military training which lasts three quarters of the year, leading them be off the school most time of the year without the access to school libraries. Each of the reason or other reasons I have not refer to can undermine this argument.

Moreover, the arguer unreasonably supposes that students are reading less than in the past. On one hand, he/she falsely assumes that masses of students go to libraries passively since four out of five of those visits were part of required classroom activities. In fact, probably, it is the four requirement that rightly and almost satisfy students' reading appetite. In addition, considering the arguer has not cite any statistics about the reading frequency in any other years in the school libraries, whether the students are less reading is still unknown. On the other hand, this argument is falsely based on the assumption that school library is the only place for students to read in. However, one can do the reading activities almost everywhere-home, classroom, garden or even the bench in the school lane-all of them are great place for the kind of brain activity. Accordingly, even the frequency of entering libraries is lower than before, one cannot assumes that students read less than before.

Last but not least, the recommendation that improving the atmosphere of all the school libraries in our town to make students spend more time there is sheer groundless without a comprehensive and insightful analyze and weigh. First, is it the unfavorable atmosphere that prevent student from entering? What about alternative explains, for example, the books there are old or usefulness or even helpless? Second, even assuming atmosphere is a reason, but it is the only reason? Put it precisely, I doubt if school can make students more reading in school libraries only by improving the atmosphere there.

In sum, this argument is not well reasoned and lacks credibility. To bolster the conclusion, the arguer must provide the specific statistics about the frequency of all students' entering the school libraries these years. Additionally, further investigation and survey should be imposed to substantiate the fact that atmosphere of libraries is a great hamper and thus needs improving.
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staralways
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沙发

发表于 2005-3-19 18:19:19 |只看该作者

呵呵，占座了~~

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板凳

发表于 2005-3-19 19:13:11 |只看该作者

The recommendation endorsed in this argument is that their[感觉这样说不是很明确啊。] town needs to improve the atmosphere of the libraries to make students be comfortable and want to spend much time there. The reason cited is that students are reading less than in the past by quoting a report from town's school system. This argument, however, defies simple logic and suffers from several critical fallacies. [开头很简练，不错。]

First of all, the conclusion of students' decreasing reading time is based on a biased survey the sample of which is only seventh-grade student. Put is simply, students in seventh-grade can not typify all the students in the schools. Possibly, students in that grade have much less exams or homework than the higher grade students, therefore they do not have to frequent the school libraries[呵呵，这里漏写内容了吧。]. Or perhaps seventh-grade students in that town are required collectively to take a social activity such as military training which lasts three quarters of the year, leading them be off the school most time of the year without the access to school libraries. Each of the reason or other reasons I have not refer to can undermine this argument.

Moreover, the arguer unreasonably supposes that students are reading less than in the past. On one hand, he/she falsely assumes that masses of students go to libraries passively since four out of five of those visits were part of required classroom activities. In fact, probably, it is the four requirement that rightly and almost satisfy students' reading appetite. [感觉这里有关四次可以满足学生的阅读需要不是很恰当。这段主要是要说argument里面并不能说明学生比以往读书少了，那么可以论证下其他时间、地点也可以用来做阅读书籍。就像你这段后面就写的不错。]In addition, considering [that]the arguer has not cite any statistics about the reading frequency in any other years in the school libraries, whether the students are less reading is still unknown. On the other hand, this argument is falsely based on the assumption that school library is the only place for students to read in. However, one can do the reading activities almost everywhere-home, classroom, garden or even the bench in the school lane-all of them are great place for the kind of brain activity. Accordingly, even the frequency of entering libraries is lower than before, one cannot assumes that students read less than before.

Last but not least, the recommendation that improving the atmosphere of all the school libraries in our town to make students spend more time there is sheer groundless without a comprehensive and insightful analyze and weigh. First, is it the unfavorable atmosphere that prevent student from entering? What about alternative explains, for example, the books there are old or usefulness or even helpless? Second, even assuming atmosphere is a reason, but it is the only reason? Put it precisely, I doubt if school can make students more reading in school libraries only by improving the atmosphere there. [argument是客观地批驳，感觉用I doubt这样不太合适，可以考虑用……is open to doubt之类的。]

In sum, this argument is not well reasoned and lacks credibility. To bolster the conclusion, the arguer must provide the specific statistics about the frequency of all students' entering the school libraries these years. Additionally, further investigation and survey should be imposed to substantiate the fact that atmosphere of libraries is a great hamper and thus needs improving.

除了B2有点小问题之外，其他的逻辑都没有什么问题。MM继续加油啊！
我的一篇argument，有空帮忙看下吧：https://bbs.gter.net/bbs/showthread.php?s=&threadid=256624

Love, is always a star in the foggy dawn......

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timbryant
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地板

发表于 2005-3-20 01:22:51 |只看该作者

The following appeared in the editorial section of a local newspaper.
'The librarians in our town's school system have reported that the number of trips that our students make to their school library on a voluntary basis has decreased significantly in recent years. For example, the average seventh-grade student visited the school library five times last year, but four of those visits were part of required classroom activities. This shows that our students are reading less than in the past. To address this problem, our town needs to improve the atmosphere of the libraries so that they will be comfortable places in which to work. If students view the libraries as uncomfortable, then they are unlikely to want to spend much time there.'

The recommendation endorsed in this argument is that their town needs to improve the atmosphere of the libraries to make students be comfortable and want to spend much time there. The reason cited is that students are reading less than in the past by quoting a report from town's school system. This argument, however, defies simple logic and suffers from several critical fallacies.

First of all, the conclusion of students' decreasing reading time is based on a biased survey the sample of which is only seventh-grade student. Put is simply, students in seventh-grade can not typify all the students in the schools. Possibly, students in that grade have much less exams or homework than the higher grade students, therefore they do not have to frequent the school libraries. Or perhaps seventh-grade students in that town are required collectively to take a social activity such as military training which lasts three quarters of the year, leading them be off the school most time of the year without the access to school libraries. Each of the reason or other reasons I have not refer to can undermine this argument. (还有report的问题，也许假报或者不报)

Moreover, the arguer unreasonably supposes that students are reading less than in the past. On one hand, he/she falsely assumes that masses of students go to libraries passively since four out of five of those visits were part of required classroom activities.（ In fact, probably, it is the four requirement that rightly and almost satisfy students' reading appetite.）这句放这里反而打乱了顺畅的逻辑（In addition,）可省 considering the arguer has not cite any statistics about the reading frequency in any other years in the school libraries, whether the students are less reading is still unknown. On the other hand, this argument is falsely based on the assumption that school library is the only place for students to read in. However, one can do the reading activities almost everywhere-home, classroom, garden or even the bench in the school lane-all of them are great place for the kind of brain activity. Accordingly, even the frequency of entering libraries is lower than before, one cannot assumes that students read less than before.

Last but not least, the recommendation that improving the atmosphere of all the school libraries in our town to make students spend more time there is sheer groundless without a comprehensive and insightful analyze and weigh. First, is it the unfavorable atmosphere that prevent student from entering? What about alternative explains, for example, the books there are old or usefulness or even helpless? Second, even assuming atmosphere is a reason, but it is the only reason? Put it precisely, I doubt if school can make students more reading in school libraries only by improving the atmosphere there.

In sum, this argument is not well reasoned and lacks credibility. To bolster the conclusion, the arguer must provide the specific statistics about the frequency of all students' entering the school libraries these years. Additionally, further investigation and survey should be imposed to substantiate the fact that atmosphere of libraries is a great hamper and thus needs improving.
505 words
有些小语病我就没指出来了，可能打字的问题。逻辑上很不错了的，加油加油~小妮子

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