寄托家园留学论坛 › 论坛 › 寄托学术类备考版 › GRE作文互动版 › ISSUE11全球性大学

返回列表

查看: 1903|回复: 5

[i习作temp] ISSUE11全球性大学 [复制链接]

pluka
UID: 2721764

特级会员

Rank: 6 Rank: 6

声望: 216
寄托币: 2130
注册时间: 2009-11-4
精华: 0
帖子: 16

电梯直达

楼主

发表于 2010-1-17 18:53:21 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览

Issue11："All nations should help support the development of a global university designed to engage students in the process of solving the world's most persistent social problems."

提纲：
1、建立该大学很困难。教职员选择；学生选择；地点选择。
2、该大学不一定能解决问题。对热点问题的看法不同；受到官僚主义影响。
3、应该支持现有的国际组织而非寄望于不切实际的全球性大学。
未限时，自己已修过一遍，594字。

This planet seems to be at stake. Global warming, economic depression, barriers in nuclear disarmament, religious conflicts and tough struggles against corruption all flood around, striking people over the world and awaking a consensus of cooperation. Supported by all nations, with talented students engaged in helping solving the most persistent social problems on the earth, the idea of a global university is quite alluring. Nevertheless, after unveiling the rosy illusion, pragmatic problems step forward, confronting this proposal with low cost-effectiveness, potential instability and poor consequences.

How to build such an university looms as the primary headache. All nations, regardless of the economical condition, political status and scientific development, are expected to join in this marvelous endeavor. But how shall we organize them properly? First, deciding the proportion of the faculty as well as the student for each country will prove to be difficult. As people want to ensure a highly qualified teaching team, professors and scholars from contries where both academic and technical intellects are rich may take a lion’s share. Yet less advanced nations may argue for more share since they possess larger population and (unfortunately) more problems to be addressed in the globle university. With different considerations from different stances, faculty balance will be hard to strike, and for the same reason, so too the enrollment of students. Second, the location and range of the campus will provoke no less chaos as well. Considering the potential rise on political status, the convenient influence in touching or even controling the world’s hottest spots, the underlying economic opportunity and the free advertisement for the country, it is easy to imagine countries falling into a fierce competiton to host the university, perhaps fiercer than for the Olympic Games. Other factors such as funding and management may evoke greater controveries. When countries act out of their own interests and judgments, can we really build a fair, harmonious and effective global university? Maybe we can, but with long road to walk and high price to pay for endless negotiations, compromises and bargains.

Even suppose that all nations reach the agreement and a global university has been built, I remain skeptical on whether it will contribute to the settlement of the world’s peril. On one hand, every country has its own understanding on what matters most; their priority lists are not likely to be the same. For example, Americans may deem nuclear disarmament as extremely urgent while Europeans put their green ambitions of curbing the global warming at the first place. It is also possible that stronger nations stifle the oppinion from weaker ones and dominate the current, turning the global university into a solo show to meet their own requests with real persistent quandaries left behind. Coming along the involvement of so many governments, on the other hand, will be more administrative chores, which disadvantage scholars and students’ work. Reseachers may have more forms to fill in, more reports to present, more bureaucrats to persuade and finally less energy to research. With barriers discussed above, I find the prospect of the global university dim and vague.

Is a global university the only solution to the poignant problems around the world? No. Already we have many international organizations focusing on different subjects individually. Red Cross and Greenpeace keep fighting; the United Nations is on the way. The intensive devotion to their fields and the fruition win those organizations the trust of the world. It seems more advisable to increase the support for them than to fantasize a global university with prohibitive cost and poor prospect.

横行不霸道~

回应
0

使用道具举报

小灵易碎
UID: 2733622

中级会员

Rank: 4

声望: 18
寄托币: 663
注册时间: 2009-12-2
精华: 0
帖子: 4

沙发

发表于 2010-1-17 19:47:22 |只看该作者

本帖最后由小灵易碎于 2010-1-17 19:53 编辑

This planet seems to be at stake. Global warming, economic depression, barriers in nuclear disarmament(学习了), religious conflicts and tough struggles against corruption all flood around, striking people over the world and awaking a consensus of cooperation. Supported by all nations, with talented students （being）engaged in helping solving the most persistent social problems on the earth, the idea of a global university is quite alluring. Nevertheless, after unveiling the rosy illusion, pragmatic problems step forward, confronting this proposal with low cost-effectiveness, potential instability and poor consequences.

How to build such an(a) university looms as the primary headache. All nations, (being)regardless of the economical condition, political status and scientific development, are expected to join in this marvelous endeavor. But how shall we organize them properly? First, deciding the proportion of the faculty as well as the student for each country will prove to be difficult. As people want to ensure a highly qualified teaching team, professors and scholars from contries where both academic and technical intellects are rich may take a lion’s share(嗯，这个不错，学习了). Yet less advanced nations may argue for more share since they possess larger population and (unfortunately) more problems to be addressed in the globle university. With different considerations from different stances, faculty balance will be hard to strike, and for the same reason, so too（我没找到这个用法，建议改成the same is true of） the enrollment of students. Second, the location and range of the campus will provoke no less chaos as well. Considering the potential rise on political status, the convenient influence in touching or even controling the world’s hottest spots, the underlying economic opportunity and the free advertisement for the country, it is easy to imagine countries falling into a fierce competiton to host the university, perhaps fiercer than for the Olympic Games. Other factors such as funding and management may evoke greater controveries. When countries act out of their own interests and judgments, can we really build a fair, harmonious and effective global university? Maybe we can, but with long road to walk and high price to pay for endless negotiations, compromises and bargains.

Even suppose（supposing） that all nations reach the agreement and a global university has been built(为什么要用现在完成时？), I remain skeptical on whether it will contribute to the settlement of the world’s peril. On one hand, every country has its own understanding on what matters most; their priority lists are not likely to be the same. For example, Americans may deem nuclear disarmament as extremely urgent while Europeans put their green ambitions of curbing the global warming at the first place. It is also possible that stronger nations stifle the oppinion from weaker ones and dominate the current, turning（turning是伴随吗？感觉跟前面的遏制弱小国家的反对和占据主流有逻辑顺序而不是有同步性的伴随，不知道改成ultimately turn） the global university into a solo show to meet their own requests with real persistent quandaries left behind. Coming along the involvement of so many governments, on the other hand, will be more administrative chores, which disadvantage scholars and students’ work. Reseachers may have more forms to fill in, more reports to present, more bureaucrats to persuade and finally less energy to research. With barriers discussed above, I find the prospect of the global university dim and vague.

Is a global university the only solution to the poignant problems around the world? No. Already we have(have had 完成时标志already) many international organizations focusing on different subjects individually. Red Cross and Greenpeace keep fighting; the United Nations is on the way. The intensive devotion to their fields and the fruition win those organizations the trust of the world. It seems more advisable to increase the support for them than to fantasize a global university with prohibitive cost and poor prospect.

整体逻辑结构已经像你中文提纲那样清晰了，语言也很好，值得我学习
但是个人感觉说理偏多例证不足，也可能是这文章的特点决定的~
呵呵，总体来说挺好的，继续加油吧，欢迎回拍~！

已有 1 人评分	声望	收起理由
pluka	+ 1	Thx! 嗯继续加油~

总评分: 声望 + 1 查看全部投币

【2025FALL】全站祈福已开放~~来领祈福章，求offer得offer

使用道具举报

aladdin.ivy
UID: 2596664

初级会员

Rank: 3 Rank: 3

声望: 12
寄托币: 660
注册时间: 2009-1-31
精华: 0
帖子: 1

板凳

发表于 2010-1-17 23:35:27 |只看该作者

本帖最后由 aladdin.ivy 于 2010-1-17 23:39 编辑

看了第一段，列出了很多例子“Global warming, economic depression, barriers in nuclear disarmament, religious conflicts and tough struggles against corruption all flood around, striking people over the world and awaking a consensus of cooperation. ” 提出cooperation很好，但是对the world's most persistent social problems应加以定义，不一定非要是准确的定义，只是指出你对这个关键词的理解就好，这也是官方作文指南上的建议。

我查了一下百度百科

社会问题（social problem)

社会学研究的重要领域之一。指社会关系失调，影响社会大部分成员的共同生活，破坏社会正常活动，妨碍社会协调发展的社会现象。不仅是一种客观存在的状况,还是人们主管构造的产物,是被人们感知,察觉到的状况,是由于价值,规范和利益冲突引起的,需要加以解决的状况,是社会实际状态与社会期望之间的差距.

中国社会学家大多从4个方面来考察社会问题的构成。有的学者认为，判定一种社会现象是否为社会问题，应从以下 4个方面来考察：①发生的情境；②价值、规范和利益几个方面的失调或破坏；③并非由个人或少数人引起或所能负责的；④必须有多数人或整个社会采取行动加以改进。另一些学者认为，社会问题的构成应考虑它的形成原因、影响范围、问题的性质和社会后果等4个方面。一般认为，社会问题由下述4种要素构成：①必须有一种或数种社会现象产生失调的情况；②这种情况必定影响许多人；③这种失调情况必须引起许多人的注意；④必须通过集体行动予以解决。

社会问题的特征

主要表现为普遍性、变异性、复合性和周期性4个方面。普遍性,指社会问题自始至终存在于每个民族、国家和社会的现实生活中；变异性，指社会问题在不同时间、不同地区、不同民族或社会，表现各不相同，各具特性；复合性，指社会问题在产生原因、存在方式或表现形式以及后果等方面的复杂的性质，即社会问题是由多种因素复合而成的，常常是几种社会问题同时并存，并引起一系列破坏性的社会后果；周期性，是指社会问题在其发生、发展过程中表现出的时间规律性。通常说,社会问题总的时间进程及其阶段性,是周期性的两个基本含义。社会学家则特别强调周期性中潜伏性和反复性的特征。

当代社会问题

社会问题在各时代反映的内容各不相同，在当代，最突出的社会问题是：人口问题、生态环境问题、劳动就业问题、青少年犯罪问题和老龄问题。

所以第一段中指出的是不是persistent social problem还有待商榷。
后面几段我看完再来改~

已有 1 人评分	声望	收起理由
pluka	+ 1	加深理解了~

总评分: 声望 + 1 查看全部投币

使用道具举报

小灵易碎
UID: 2733622

中级会员

Rank: 4

声望: 18
寄托币: 663
注册时间: 2009-12-2
精华: 0
帖子: 4

地板

发表于 2010-1-18 00:33:50 |只看该作者

本帖最后由小灵易碎于 2010-1-18 00:35 编辑

Social Issues的定义，好东西一起分享，我也学习学习~

Social issues are matters which directly or indirectly affect many or all members of a society and are considered to be problems, controversies related to moral values, or both.

Social issues include poverty, violence, pollution, injustice, suppression of human rights, discrimination, and crime, as well as abortion, gay marriage, gun control, and religion, to name a few.

Social issues are related to the fabric of the community, including conflicts among the interests of community members, and lie beyond the control of any one individual.

使用道具举报

firhaday
UID: 2287086

荣誉版主

Rank: 9 Rank: 9 Rank: 9

声望: 216
寄托币: 3550
注册时间: 2006-12-26
精华: 3
帖子: 608

5楼

发表于 2010-1-18 00:47:36 |只看该作者

从提纲上来看，三个点很好，是层层递进，逐次剖析的关系，这样的大结构很好，让人觉得你看问题很深刻，能看到很远，看的很广，赞~

细节上来看，B1中，关于教师分配的，我感觉写分配太复杂了，最简单的就是僧多粥少，然后如果要递进，再说，这些僧人中，有些事得到高僧，要更多香火钱，因为他们更有权力，然后呢，这个僧多粥少后果是什么呢，显而易见，就是大家觉得不公平，大家开始吵架，那么就是不容易解决问题，反而引起更多的问题了，这样不就是加剧了世界问题么？
僧多粥少当然在这里只是一个形象的比喻而已。但是，在文章段落组织上的细节需要更琢磨一下，搞清事实和观点，最后引出结果或者更深层的观点。
文章的语言和语法上，也可以更加精细一些

加油~勉之